My tweets don't even make sense tonight. Jesus Christ.

Monday, May 30, 2016 02:39:33 AM from Twitter for Android

Pretty sure my Lyft guy tonight was on coke listening in to techno in a euro clurb.

Monday, May 30, 2016 02:38:55 AM from Twitter for Android

Dem crackers twerkin https://t.co/KnloCSnobe

Monday, May 30, 2016 01:52:52 AM from Twitter for Android

May I know that I can get a chance to see the attached file

Monday, May 30, 2016 01:20:09 AM from Twitter for Android

#lolmets that this Queens bar has Dodgers fans in it than Mets fans

Monday, May 30, 2016 12:42:07 AM from Twitter for Android

12 Dodgizz fans just walked into a bar in Queens. Wut?

Monday, May 30, 2016 12:38:38 AM from Twitter for Android

Xanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanaxxanax

Friday, May 27, 2016 11:09:14 PM from Twitter for Android

My Bella 😭😭😭😭😭😭😥😥😥😥😖😖😖😖😖😖😟😞😟😞😢😭😦😧

Friday, May 27, 2016 10:36:49 PM from Twitter for Android

Wayyy to drunk to be responsible for a multi-million dollar SaaS platform right now. But 1) I am and 2) sober people ain't got shit on me

Friday, May 27, 2016 05:05:59 PM from Twitter Web Client

HR bartender might be judging me for hanging out behind the work bar and making my own drinks #hateuscausetheyaintus

Friday, May 27, 2016 04:15:55 PM from Twitter Web Client

I probably shouldn't operate heavy machinery from this point forward.

Friday, May 27, 2016 04:06:42 PM from Twitter Web Client

Ready Player One is a tight book, but imagine how much better it would be if it was a 90s instead of 80s obsession...,

Friday, May 27, 2016 03:27:44 PM from Twitter Web Client

Pluto's tight, son https://t.co/8obW8qnFAP

Friday, May 27, 2016 02:44:06 PM from Twitter Web Client

Is the office bar open yet?

Friday, May 27, 2016 02:41:59 PM from Twitter Web Client