Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

Pony just came on and Mal and had a couple bottles of wine. I obviously can't bang her in the back seat with her parents driving us home...

Yanks are winning the series this year

Jesus H. Christ. Who'd a thunk I'm a little tipssss over a $6 32oz Bud Light. Amateur hour.

Cro-sandwich... For three years I've been saying crossaint-wich. How can I ever call it by its real name if I only know it my way? @MalJNew

Just missed the Yanks walk off because my mind was blown because I've been calling BK's Croissan'wich "crossaint-wich" my whole life

Aero shake is the stupidest fuckin Windows feature of all time: https://t.co/O10A6VBY3W

Motorola killed the headphone jack on the Moto Z a couple weeks before Apple did, but obviously it's only a big deal when Apple does it.

sudo rm -rf /your/mom

NOTHING IS FUCKING WORKING TODAY

Azure is a piece of shit

Just checked the nutrition facts on these dollar dogs and they don't have any trans fats so they're healthy. Cue 4 more!

Oh. They don't do Cotton Eyed Joe at the 7th inning stretch at the Jake? What a shame

Welp, the Marlins are sucking and getting scalped by the Tribe, so it doesn't look like I'll get to see my boy Miller

Hot dog #6

This $2 Cleveland Bud Light is making me fill up so I can't eat as many $1 hot dogs as I wanted