No idea how my boy doesn't have like 175 yrs in prison tbh https://t.co/44YQ55gz6O

Tuesday, November 22, 2016 09:13:20 PM from Twitter for Android

Who's the dick who put on Nickelback on the jukebox at the bar?

Tuesday, November 22, 2016 05:32:21 PM from Twitter for Android

Can't get my Nest Working with the Amazon Echo. Amazon's integrations are all convoluted.

Alexa, order me a Google Home!

Tuesday, November 22, 2016 10:39:10 AM from Twitter Web Client

Great, the 4/5 is all jacked up #thefuckingsubway

Tuesday, November 22, 2016 08:48:29 AM from Twitter for Android

Sitting in a 4 seater on the train with the real housewives of Scarsdale.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016 08:28:09 AM from Twitter for Android

Got woken up for oncall. Had to call a DBA in Russia to fix it. She didn't do anything and it magically started working. PLACE FUCKS WITH ME

Tuesday, November 22, 2016 04:19:10 AM from Twitter Web Client

One day I won't be the Cleveland Browns of bowling https://t.co/HEtq9StX3H

Monday, November 21, 2016 09:37:52 PM from Twitter Web Client

The @MTA is a piece of shit. Since when do @MetroNorth tickets expire in 2 months? They used to be good for a year. And that $10 refund fee

Monday, November 21, 2016 10:58:29 AM from Twitter Web Client

Flight's delayed 2 hrs 45 minutes because of air traffic in New York. What a third world city

Sunday, November 20, 2016 07:53:11 PM from Twitter for Android

Dispatch came on and I realized.im white AF

Sunday, November 20, 2016 12:42:09 AM from Twitter for Android

Friendsgiving wasted right now

Sunday, November 20, 2016 12:38:44 AM from Twitter for Android

@__JLu 👌👍👍👍

In reply to @__JLu's tweet

Friday, November 18, 2016 09:04:00 PM from Twitter for Android

Freddy's going to the slutty bar later

Friday, November 18, 2016 09:02:01 PM from Twitter for Android

"This hot girl I know on LinkedIn..." -Freddy

Friday, November 18, 2016 09:55:17 AM from Twitter for Android

The guys came down for the weekend, so we're all degenerates. It's 8:45am and I probably couldn't operate heavy machinery right now.

Friday, November 18, 2016 08:44:59 AM from Twitter for Android