Also, I didn't just break a glass at the bar amirite
Tuesday, December 13, 2016 12:11:55 AM from Twitter for Android
I mean... I can type. So I'm sober ish right? https://t.co/y7J4p1wRX0
Tuesday, December 13, 2016 12:11:11 AM from Twitter for Android
Just blew a .16 on the breathalyzer. I can double not drive!
Tuesday, December 13, 2016 12:10:36 AM from Twitter for Android
Just broke a glass at the bar. Swear to God that never happens
Tuesday, December 13, 2016 12:07:44 AM from Twitter for Android
Pretty sure I drunkenly rambled to our most brilliant VP ever. Sue me
Monday, December 12, 2016 11:20:20 PM from Twitter for Android
I only tweet a lot when I'm in NY because when I'm in NY everything fuckin pisses me off.
Monday, December 12, 2016 04:41:33 PM from Twitter Web Client
Now everything is perfect again. Fuck IT policy. Only assholes get viruses. https://t.co/uIHnfdeSiL
Monday, December 12, 2016 04:30:14 PM from Twitter Web Client
Fuckin Antivirus and IT policy management software made my CPU 100% after installing Windows updates and I uninstalled the FUCK out of them
Monday, December 12, 2016 04:29:48 PM from Twitter Web Client
Neil Young still makes good fuckin albums. In 2016. I blame drugs
Monday, December 12, 2016 04:06:13 PM from Twitter Web Client
Bored AF in this meeting
Monday, December 12, 2016 03:47:47 PM from Twitter for Android
I didn't Just blow a .09 and I'm not falling asleep during our team meeting
Monday, December 12, 2016 03:18:25 PM from Twitter for Android
Why would anyone name their daughter Sloan? That's naming her after a fuckin toilet
Monday, December 12, 2016 01:45:22 PM from Twitter for Android
My Twitter newsfeed is basically Facebook right now. Complete bullshit ads and "you might like" fuck off bring back chronological
Monday, December 12, 2016 01:11:30 PM from Twitter for Android
How much you wanna bet I walk out of this MetroNorth shitbox and then the subways running like shit?
Monday, December 12, 2016 09:19:20 AM from Twitter for Android