"Plane crashes due to passenger who refused to put his phone in airplane mode" -No headline ever
Tuesday, December 27, 2016 10:45:00 AM from Twitter for Android
Spoiler alert: Voldemort banged Bellatrix Lestrange lmao
Tuesday, December 27, 2016 10:27:27 AM from Twitter for Android
Tomorrow I fly
Tuesday, December 27, 2016 12:03:51 AM from Twitter for Android
Bless this highly nutritious macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.
Sunday, December 25, 2016 05:32:55 PM from Twitter for Android
HBD to my main man Buddy Christ 🎄🎁 https://t.co/oif5aTmAfQ
Sunday, December 25, 2016 01:26:51 AM from Twitter for Android
I almost tagged Mal's ass as "boom boom" on Facebook but good thing I stopped myself because her mom posted the photo #nicesave
Saturday, December 24, 2016 12:29:09 AM from Twitter Web Client
Philly is puke city
Thursday, December 22, 2016 08:27:27 PM from Twitter for Android
@Fantasy_Mania Philly is trash. Philly Meg is trash
Thursday, December 22, 2016 06:47:12 PM from Twitter for Android
DB points to ya mom https://t.co/mqDgHRPipb
Thursday, December 22, 2016 06:40:23 PM from Twitter for Android
Happy winter solstice! ⛄
I'm so charming in the sense that I called a manager a cocksucker couple months ago and now he's buying me drinks
Tuesday, December 20, 2016 06:35:00 PM from Twitter for Android
Blew a .09 and figured out some crazy complicated devops shit. Not good enough to drive but good enough to devops I guess.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Tuesday, December 20, 2016 05:10:05 PM from Twitter Web Client
I need a goddamn snack https://t.co/qWsbXhO6WC
Tuesday, December 20, 2016 03:38:26 PM from Twitter Web Client
Fuckin this is the problem when you've got bartender friends at an Irish place
Tuesday, December 20, 2016 03:31:38 PM from Twitter Web Client