Portfolioso's Twitter Bullshit

Also, I'm going to New York next week so you'll be hearing a lot of angry pissed off tweets

White chocolate peppermint martini for the winter special. Like pure vodka. I cannot

Martini night btw... Explains it https://t.co/jQ8D32J86H

70s rock cover band and I can't stop singing harmony

Dafuq is a stone fruit?

I just called a Monster Energy Zero Ultra "white berry nectar of the forbidden tree" because I'm a cray

Is Doc McStuffins some kind of porno? This is the programming we put on Disney Junior? https://t.co/SnTXQ6k8hN

We're all the same shit: https://t.co/CjWSuvRAPe

You're rapping about homosexuals and Vicodin. I can't sell this shit. https://t.co/wGr8NGzJai

You know why Dre's record was so successful? He's rapping about big screen TVs, blunts, 40s & bitches.

Observation 1: Ubers aren't smelly in Columbus.

Going out in downtown Columbus tonight. Am on call. DB has been jacked all day. Shall be interesting

Fiancée just pulled out a pack of sour patch kinds from her purse to share, which is another reason we're getting married.

"I almost watched Air Force One to feel better about myself" -buddah

This crazy Japanese dude just spent $632,000 on a tuna fish. Comes out to $1356/lb to break even. Flat out nuts https://t.co/tU4f9zl4uB