Mmmm. Breakfast alcohol! #baecation starts now. Honeymoon preppin' https://t.co/h2LYUT3oAO
No specials? No credit cards? No Gio.
Dan? Mothafuckin G. Danny? Passed out on the couch.
I just lost my beer again
Got another groomsman rapping biggie over sublime beats for the win. Shit's turnt
Folks. I wish I can make this up, but I am not bullshitting you. I'm not that creative https://t.co/9iBFj9zu9K
My wedding officiant is stealing the best man's socks and trying to feed them to my dog. I've made very good life decisions.
Just took a selfie with my dog and it's no bueno.
Danny's down for the count. I repeat! We've got a groomsman down!
My bride: "Have you ever been cabrewing? It's like.. canoing, but with beer"
I keep losing my beer
I think dogs understand the meaning of the universe, but play stupid to fool us. Humans don't. Joke's on us.
"you have large nuptials"
I need to put on my whitestrips but it says you can't eat or drink and these beers are going down way too smoothly so no thanks
He was talking about @Handy https://t.co/arJUcoyuu9