Travesty! Alert the authorities! Dafuq does Freddy's Costco in Queens sell sausage and pepper at the food court but mine doesn't. https://t.co/hd1FoxFy62

Friday, March 24, 2017 02:57:38 PM from Twitter for Android

Fucking LaGuardia....

Friday, March 24, 2017 01:35:06 PM from Twitter for Android

Off tomorrow, then it's the bachelor party. Shit's gon' be cray. I'm already a cray on normal days...

Thursday, March 23, 2017 06:58:18 PM from Twitter Web Client

I mean... It was a biebs tweet, so I was probably just laughing at dick area https://t.co/V2gpZFUwwk

Thursday, March 23, 2017 04:08:10 AM from Twitter for Android

I'm narcsicist af. For instance, I just went back to one of my past tweets, checked who liked it and then laughed at it for like 15 seconds.

Thursday, March 23, 2017 04:07:06 AM from Twitter for Android

CVS stopped selling cigarettes 2 yrs ago; correlate it to immortality

(source: https://t.co/fWQ3eDLvo4) https://t.co/ntzmJx00PE

Tuesday, March 21, 2017 10:27:38 AM from Twitter Web Client

buncha fuckin morons running this bitch. Merica

Tuesday, March 21, 2017 09:31:43 AM from Twitter Web Client

This is fucking stupid. So if the tablet/laptop is a timebomb, it'll be safer in the checked area than the cabin? https://t.co/2MUqILasvc

Tuesday, March 21, 2017 09:31:27 AM from Twitter Web Client

You have Siri, Alexa, Google Assistant and to a lesser extent, Cortana, all with huge user bases. Don't need another shitty one in the mix https://t.co/hXTJLCb45M

Monday, March 20, 2017 02:16:23 PM from Twitter Web Client

Fucking hate Samsung... Why can't they just implement Google Assistant? Ruining the stock Android experience
https://t.co/d3v9wdjJ5x

Monday, March 20, 2017 02:14:16 PM from Twitter Web Client

My advice to a bitch ass client this fine AM https://t.co/tNTrI9Hlq6

Monday, March 20, 2017 09:35:44 AM from Twitter Web Client

There's starving people in Africa and my drunk ass just dumped 1/2 lb of pasta down the fuckin drain.

Saturday, March 18, 2017 03:25:07 AM from Twitter for Android

I just dumped a half fuckin pound if pasta down my garbage disposal. Bitch ass trick. Now I have to cook it all over again

Saturday, March 18, 2017 03:22:42 AM from Twitter for Android

My password. Hack me. https://t.co/2ufJ2SHdJp

Saturday, March 18, 2017 02:22:03 AM from Twitter for Android

Only been out like a couple hours you guys and I miss my dog. In a cray. https://t.co/3WDkWnYzqF

Saturday, March 18, 2017 01:39:43 AM from Twitter for Android