Thank you to the bachelor party group for giving me my new favorite mob nickname: Joey Jorts

Sunday, August 13, 2017 08:58:57 PM from Twitter for Android

The second we crossed the border from Kentucky into Cincinnati, an incredible stench entered the car. Like worse than Jersey

Sunday, August 13, 2017 08:21:16 PM from Twitter for Android

Yo @waze love your app, but it's buggy af on Android. I had to force close it 5 times and restart the nav because it kept freezing. Wtf: https://t.co/6b0FkQogct

Sunday, August 13, 2017 04:45:58 PM from Twitter for Android

Front desk just called us on a noise complaint because we dragged a body on a futon from one room to another. That body was Bob passed out

Sunday, August 13, 2017 03:22:14 AM from Twitter for Android

There's a guy in the clurb with a beater on. Dafuq is this...? me?

Sunday, August 13, 2017 01:03:25 AM from Twitter for Android

At a bachelor party with my boys in NC and I'm being as gay as possible at this club bc that state hates the gays which is bs.

Sunday, August 13, 2017 12:25:07 AM from Twitter for Android

RT @DadBoner: Your religion and skin color don't matter. All that matters is if you bleed red, white, & blue and believe in peaceful freedo…

Saturday, August 12, 2017 11:39:48 PM from Twitter for Android

@Fantasy_Mania I will pour one out for you guys and eat some sausage and peppers in ol' North Caroline'

In reply to @Fantasy_Mania's tweet

Saturday, August 12, 2017 11:43:39 AM from Twitter for Android

It's 8:53 am and I'm fuckin hammered right now. Fuckin Bob's moonshine...

Saturday, August 12, 2017 08:54:01 AM from Twitter for Android

I feel like absolute death rn

Saturday, August 12, 2017 08:45:27 AM from Twitter for Android

I forgot I tweeted this like two seconds ago https://t.co/FZbnOfALRC

Saturday, August 12, 2017 08:40:22 AM from Twitter for Android

Well shit. I'm hungover af and this isn't ideal

Saturday, August 12, 2017 08:39:53 AM from Twitter for Android

Well shit... Now I'm hungover as fuck

Saturday, August 12, 2017 08:37:59 AM from Twitter for Android

I mean, I suck balls at drinking and normally can't go hard. But if you ever think I'm the first to go to bed at a bachelor party, you're bs

Saturday, August 12, 2017 01:32:46 AM from Twitter for Android

I've never really done coke but I've got a guy passed out rn who said he's been on a 3 week coke bender. Liar. Get the fuck awake dude.

Saturday, August 12, 2017 01:31:02 AM from Twitter for Android