9:30 am and I'm about to break the seal

Wednesday, June 07, 2017 09:27:30 AM from Twitter for Android

I'm at Soy Sushi Bar w/ @maljnew https://t.co/9e3LkQAqkn https://t.co/ywbBDQVqkV

Tuesday, June 06, 2017 08:17:32 PM from Foursquare

I feel gross af right now. Someone pump my stomach https://t.co/wDh1szLFW4

Sunday, June 04, 2017 08:52:57 AM from Twitter for Android

I need a butler to food-block me. Just because I can order anything anytime doesn't mean my fat ass should eat a burger at 3am.

Sunday, June 04, 2017 08:52:16 AM from Twitter for Android

The videos I just found on my phone are the most absurd things of all time.

Sunday, June 04, 2017 03:56:56 AM from Twitter for Android

@jstanz37 Idk I smelled them at the bar and everyone looked at me like I was a weird

In reply to @jstanz37's tweet

Sunday, June 04, 2017 12:32:42 AM from Twitter for Android

"Silly white people" -Every Sandals Piano Bar employee

Sunday, June 04, 2017 12:26:41 AM from Twitter for Android

Turnt is an understatement rn

Sunday, June 04, 2017 12:18:52 AM from Twitter for Android

Let's be honest @MalJNew #giggity

Sunday, June 04, 2017 12:10:59 AM from Twitter for Android

Mal's wearing scented Melissa sandals and I just realized that smelling them in public at the bar looks reallllll weird

Saturday, June 03, 2017 08:35:25 PM from Twitter for Android

Hey @Moto, the fuck is raking you so long to update the 2015 pure edition to Nougat. This joke brand beat you https://t.co/meMw44I3SH

Saturday, June 03, 2017 03:12:02 PM from Twitter for Android

Oh yeah I also owe this guy money. Cheers to a safe return trip with both my kidneys!

Friday, June 02, 2017 06:15:43 PM from Twitter for Android

At the same time, going to a local rastafari party seems like the tits

Friday, June 02, 2017 06:14:45 PM from Twitter for Android

Seems legit? If you don't here from me and wife ever again, you're looking for a Nigel in Soufriere https://t.co/pkBAy1lNfd

Friday, June 02, 2017 06:14:26 PM from Twitter for Android

Went off the resort for a killer tour of St. Lucia and a dude named King Nigel is picking us up later to take us to a local street party

Friday, June 02, 2017 06:13:05 PM from Twitter for Android