Just spent the past 5 minutes looking for the lemon juice I misplaced in the fridge. It was in the cupboard with the salt. I'm shot you guys

Monday, June 19, 2017 09:56:44 PM from Twitter for Android

The Yankee bullpen stinks. This west coast trip is a nightmare

Saturday, June 17, 2017 12:33:08 AM from Twitter for Android

Fuckin Chris Carter is useless. Strikes out 24/7, makes errors and gets CC injured

Tuesday, June 13, 2017 11:28:50 PM from Twitter for Android

Chris Carter get the fuck off my team

Tuesday, June 13, 2017 11:18:31 PM from Twitter for Android

These idiots just sent me a ticket to automate a process that their own dev team can't get to work manually. smh.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017 02:36:47 PM from Twitter Web Client

Tanaka Stinks

Monday, June 12, 2017 10:30:42 PM from Twitter Web Client

First day back from honeymoon. Boss is off. #winning

Monday, June 12, 2017 06:12:17 PM from Twitter Web Client

@artalexakis so bummed we didn't get to see you in Columbus (was out of town). Can you play White Men in Black Suits on Lithium?

Sunday, June 11, 2017 05:54:10 PM from Twitter for Android

Piece of shit immune system. I should not be on my second cough and cold in two months. Weak motherfucker.

Saturday, June 10, 2017 10:10:59 PM from Twitter for Android

Pretty sure I just got banned from the Atlanta airport free WiFi for putting in fake registration info and/or streaming over a VPN

Saturday, June 10, 2017 08:54:07 PM from Twitter for Android

Cross another item off my never have I ever list... I pooped in Georgia

Saturday, June 10, 2017 08:37:48 PM from Twitter for Android

Get a load of @VZWNow LTE choking on cocks in Atlanta rn https://t.co/H1XSvxiadT

Saturday, June 10, 2017 06:08:24 PM from Twitter for Android

Sandals casually leaving one of their wire closets unlocked so an #abuserslist like myself can have some fun https://t.co/FCIgZLbpOp

Friday, June 09, 2017 04:07:26 PM from Twitter for Android

My lady rocker playlist is fire flames https://t.co/Hrpd6rrrd2

Thursday, June 08, 2017 11:46:21 AM from Twitter for Android

Italian place had sausage and pep so my life is complete rn

Wednesday, June 07, 2017 08:58:36 PM from Twitter for Android