Welp. Wore the beater as a joke all day and now I've got beater tan lines. Fml

Sunday, July 16, 2017 02:26:56 AM from Twitter for Android

What will happen first? @MotorolaUS suck it, I'm getting a pixel next. Way to keep your shit updated assholes

Sunday, July 16, 2017 02:17:48 AM from Twitter for Android

Welp. It's been an absolute awesome week on the road but I'm ready to head home and see my girlies @MalJNew and Luna!

Sunday, July 16, 2017 01:53:54 AM from Twitter for Android

This is a dick pahhhty

Saturday, July 15, 2017 11:57:29 PM from Twitter for Android

Someone get @DadBoner to this bachelor party immijitly https://t.co/LmhcIFZ0Ic

Saturday, July 15, 2017 05:58:00 PM from Twitter for Android

Interesting​ position of this rivet. This cartoon assed girl is blasting some nips https://t.co/VV3vQaMoYp

Saturday, July 15, 2017 04:46:31 PM from Twitter for Android

Dicks out for NASCAR

Saturday, July 15, 2017 04:37:55 PM from Twitter for Android

@jiaaro The biebs!!!!!

In reply to @jiaaro's tweet

Saturday, July 15, 2017 01:53:53 PM from Twitter for Android

Which Doritos​ do you prefer?

Saturday, July 15, 2017 01:52:27 PM from Twitter for Android

I'm concerned about the abundance of snap hotdogs and dick convos being had this weekend.

Saturday, July 15, 2017 10:18:23 AM from Twitter for Android

"Good thing I've got my CostCo card. We're about to buy dick in bulk"

Saturday, July 15, 2017 10:10:09 AM from Twitter for Android

15 guys here, none of us thought to buy water

Saturday, July 15, 2017 07:42:17 AM from Twitter for Android

Hungover af. Phones at 2% and my piss smells like asparagus metabolite.

Saturday, July 15, 2017 07:35:02 AM from Twitter for Android

Five guys over shake shack? Dafuq you smoking? https://t.co/VXbZWY0GB2

Saturday, July 15, 2017 01:23:18 AM from Twitter for Android

Saturdays are for Lessard. But they're all passed out so we'll try this again at 9vtimirrow

Saturday, July 15, 2017 01:01:27 AM from Twitter for Android