Mothafuckin El Gary with a bomb off the Little league Mets

Thursday, August 17, 2017 07:23:37 PM from Twitter for Android

You guys. It's gonna happen tonight. I'm gonna get really drunk and play bananaphone on the jukebox at the bar

Thursday, August 17, 2017 06:40:14 PM from Twitter for Android

Hard at work, with my dirty assed kicks all over their grillmix https://t.co/G7mseOXyv8

Thursday, August 17, 2017 03:43:04 PM from Twitter for Android

A big fuggoff to the moneybags team. I was jammin to Doc Robinson and they made me join their shitty release meeting and harshed my mellow

Thursday, August 17, 2017 03:12:35 PM from Twitter Web Client

The minute music stops giving me goosebumps, I don't want to be alive anymore

Thursday, August 17, 2017 03:03:56 PM from Twitter Web Client

This is a literal footnote I put into an analysis document for our CTO, because I call out people's stupidity https://t.co/787EdjDrwm

Wednesday, August 16, 2017 02:05:59 PM from Twitter Web Client

Went to get water from the work kitchen and did an about face when I saw our comptroller there. She's nice, but I don't do small talk

Wednesday, August 16, 2017 11:38:36 AM from Twitter Web Client

Pretty plausible prediction from July 2016... The dumb motherfucker https://t.co/OerUsPZZOn

Wednesday, August 16, 2017 10:03:17 AM from Twitter for Android

Steel drums fuck

Tuesday, August 15, 2017 10:02:40 PM from Twitter for Android

Verizon LTE still sucks 12 cocks at Jones Beach. Fucks sake guys

Tuesday, August 15, 2017 07:22:22 PM from Twitter for Android

Jesus Christ, @VZWSupport fix Jones Beach. https://t.co/jFhRZlys0G

Tuesday, August 15, 2017 03:22:46 PM from Twitter for Android

Wow Verizon wireless speeds suck balls at Jones Beach rn. Come on

Tuesday, August 15, 2017 03:09:15 PM from Twitter for Android

Well this isn't where I parked my car https://t.co/NEUTmfCY9a

Tuesday, August 15, 2017 01:29:20 AM from Twitter Web Client

@__JLu I've got 477 wedding pics missing timestamps and need to write a script to correct it so they stay in the right order on Google Photos

In reply to @__JLu's tweet

Tuesday, August 15, 2017 01:20:46 AM from Twitter Web Client

I'm a sleep deprived idiot... I just tried to do math in the Windows file path bar as if it were a browser: https://t.co/nROsPAtqoL

Tuesday, August 15, 2017 01:12:15 AM from Twitter Web Client