My degenerate ass bought a six pack and didn't get a bag for it. Walking around Anaheim with it back to the hotel while everyone has their Disney things. I'm a loon

Friday, August 16, 2019 12:26:24 AM from Twitter for Android

"My fuckin 60 year old boss is getting more ass than I am" -some platform engineer

Thursday, August 15, 2019 03:07:57 AM from Twitter for Android

Lizzo is dope

Wednesday, August 14, 2019 08:27:51 PM from Twitter for Android

It's so obvious these two fucked at some point in the past. Guarantee it.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019 06:03:12 PM from Twitter for Android

The is a guy on this plane standing up with his ass pointed towards my face...

Wash your ass better if you're going to be in public

Tuesday, August 13, 2019 03:13:37 PM from Twitter for Android

Verizon LTE works poorly at the Salt Lake City airport

Tuesday, August 13, 2019 12:18:27 PM from Twitter for Android

The bar screaming This is America.... It's not. It's Canada.

Monday, August 12, 2019 01:16:54 AM from Twitter for Android

The point of sale in this bar has the Windows XP screensaver up

Jesus Christ, 🇨🇦

Monday, August 12, 2019 01:10:32 AM from Twitter for Android

I love bachelor parties. Everyone's in bed rn with the sunday scaries and I'm out being a DEGENERATE

Sunday, August 11, 2019 11:54:48 PM from Twitter for Android

My buddy Vinny is a savage. Dropped a drink on a dude and ended up talking the guy into buying him another drink!

That's charisma!

Sunday, August 11, 2019 05:54:10 AM from Twitter for Android

Out Uber driver fuckin loves reacharounds. Guy talked nonstop about it

Sunday, August 11, 2019 12:00:27 AM from Twitter for Android

Let's clean out these Canadians. 79 in 87 out? Fuckouttahea https://t.co/LDBrGgfdLa

Saturday, August 10, 2019 03:22:02 AM from Twitter for Android

Mets are a million games under 500 but walk off and it's as exciting as if they won the series! https://t.co/FlTO7VnCax

Friday, August 09, 2019 10:33:15 PM from Twitter for Android