It's a wonder I'm alive. IDK how I made it. My parents are borderline clueless about what to do with babies

Tuesday, September 10, 2019 03:02:24 AM from Twitter for Android

You could just walk to a grocery store at 11pm. New York City is wild

Sunday, September 08, 2019 10:48:29 PM from Twitter for Android

IDK wtf @Android was thinking with this BS Android 10 gesture navigation. The swipe right/left from edge is cool EXCEPT when you need to do that inside apps and you go back by mistake. Yes, they have a sensitivity tuner, but this is absurd. It needs to just work

Saturday, September 07, 2019 09:04:54 PM from Twitter for Android

Fucking Apple. Thinks they're hot shit removing the fingerprint scanner. Then Google decided to copy this idiot idea. Then they're going to add it back? Fuckers.

https://t.co/PE4NVohy8Z

Thursday, September 05, 2019 08:19:27 AM from Twitter for Android

LORD ALMIGHTY @MikeDeWine is a silly man who hates the environment. In bed with @firstenergycorp

https://t.co/mk1mOXY3OL

Wednesday, September 04, 2019 12:32:46 PM from Twitter Web Client

https://t.co/HQC6a5EFrB

Saturday, August 31, 2019 08:45:32 PM from Twitter for Android

See, this is the problem with weddings. I didn't even get to the reception yet and I broke the seal

Saturday, August 31, 2019 05:29:18 PM from Twitter for Android

Catholic wedding about to start. I think they're doing the full mass, you guys. I'm two beers in. Have to per before it even started. I'm in for it

Saturday, August 31, 2019 02:07:15 PM from Twitter for Android

Was able to duck out the side during the homily. Saved my ass for the rest of these two hours

In reply to @portfolioso's tweet

Saturday, August 31, 2019 02:36:37 PM from Twitter for Android

Android Auto and Waze are the two biggest piece of shit apps going. Do better fuckssake

Saturday, August 31, 2019 09:32:27 AM from Twitter for Android

@waze Android app doesn't work AT ALL on a fully updated Pixel 2. Says no connection, and quits. Uninstalled, reinstalled rebooted - no luck. My network is fine https://t.co/VYss5ovInn

Saturday, August 31, 2019 09:31:40 AM from Twitter for Android

Ok, looks like they had an outage. Happened to others

In reply to @portfolioso's tweet

Saturday, August 31, 2019 09:36:14 AM from Twitter for Android

Why is it that babies will sleep like a rock in your arms, but the second you transfer them to the crib, they go wiki wild

Friday, August 30, 2019 09:18:27 PM from Twitter for Android

The 80s we're an absurd time. What a wild time to be alive!

Wednesday, August 28, 2019 09:25:13 PM from Twitter for Android

@WhiteHouse @realDonaldTrump @AbeShinzo No one wants our fucking GMO, glyphosate infested corn, you idiots.

In reply to @WhiteHouse's tweet

Tuesday, August 27, 2019 12:55:13 PM from Twitter Web App