9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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The laziest of Sundays. I had burgers on the grill and slept. That is all Sunday, June 24, 2012 9:51:31 PMTwitter for Android
#lolmets Saturday, June 23, 2012 10:35:53 PMTwitter for Android
Still gay for Dave Robertson Saturday, June 23, 2012 10:12:18 PMTwitter for Android
The Mets still suck Friday, June 22, 2012 8:36:08 PMTwitter for Android
Our database is a whore. It just auto inserts fuckin everything everywhere Friday, June 22, 2012 1:09:51 AMTwitter for Android
I love how I was like... come on lets go the fuck to the bar... and I'm already at the bar. HA Thursday, June 21, 2012 8:53:30 PMTwitter for Android
"She should know that I'm more respected than her and I'll ruin her" was the hottest, most aggressive thing I've heard today. Let's bang Thursday, June 21, 2012 7:53:41 PMTwitter for Android
Bunch of smokes on this train Thursday, June 21, 2012 8:05:16 AMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd I'm obsessed with your doggy.
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:35:27 AMTwitter for Android
My mom cured my eye twitch. I LOVE nurses Wednesday, June 20, 2012 11:05:50 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd LOVE
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Wednesday, June 20, 2012 10:44:10 PMTwitter for Android
Ha. They complained I only tweet about Wagner, Lennon and Kelsey, but I complimented their tits. #winning Wednesday, June 20, 2012 10:37:57 PMTwitter for Android
Elise and malori's tits Wednesday, June 20, 2012 8:25:33 PMTwitter for Android
Its real minty in this pisser, you guys Wednesday, June 20, 2012 8:14:33 PMTwitter for Android
Its not even worth my energy to waste time complaining about these trains Tuesday, June 19, 2012 9:05:31 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking 45 minutes to get from Fulton St to Grand Central. I could climb backwards up an icy incline faster than the piece of shit 4/5 train Monday, June 18, 2012 6:43:02 PMTwitter for Android
RT @Colithika: who is dtf? Monday, June 18, 2012 1:53:41 AMTwitter for Android
@Colithika hey sexy. Talk dirty to me
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Monday, June 18, 2012 1:41:59 AMTwitter for Android
Some random number I don't recognize just texted me happy father's day. Well I certainly hope not!!! Sunday, June 17, 2012 7:53:49 PMTwitter for Android
Grandpa's fly was down. I told him XYZ. He said "that's okay, you have to air it out sometimes" Sunday, June 17, 2012 5:26:49 PMTwitter for Android
There is no way in hell that these "CUM 94U" Jersey Plates are random. Some dude 100% requested those. Sunday, June 17, 2012 12:16:11 PMTwitter for Android
This hotel room is an absolute disaster. This will be fun to clean up Sunday, June 17, 2012 9:08:28 AMTwitter for Android
It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave and keep on thinking free Sunday, June 17, 2012 1:54:55 AMTwitter for Android
I'd bang you, not you, definitely not you, maybe you and not you. Saturday, June 16, 2012 5:02:10 PMTwitter for Android
I wish I could look how I do now at 40 Saturday, June 16, 2012 4:54:48 PMTwitter for Android
I just asked a shitfaced 65 yr old how old I look and he said 40. Jesus christ. Saturday, June 16, 2012 4:54:18 PMTwitter for Android
A little buzzed at the pool is ideal bastards Saturday, June 16, 2012 4:51:36 PMTwitter for Android
Here's why I'm a motherfuckin boss employee. I'm on vacation at the beach & the servers go down. & I notice faster than the fuckers on call Saturday, June 16, 2012 4:49:10 PMTwitter for Android
The girls in room 404 are sooo hot. They think they couldnt't be found but I found them #geekinternetjokes #letsbang Saturday, June 16, 2012 3:46:49 PMTwitter for Android
Oh shit. They don't follow me on here, do they? Saturday, June 16, 2012 3:40:37 PMTwitter for Android
I'd absolutely have a threesome with the two work girls who liked my instagram pic. Aka Wagner and Lennon. Saturday, June 16, 2012 3:35:40 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella sry I knew that was a dick thing to tweet to you but i was drinking all day so it was fine
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Saturday, June 16, 2012 3:32:05 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella welp no shore for you and yes shore for me. #sorryimnotsorry
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Saturday, June 16, 2012 3:24:25 PMTwitter for Android
If our two other friends actually would hang out with us, I wouldn't look like a gay couple with @SonicBlur23 But I have no shame so whatevs Saturday, June 16, 2012 3:23:39 PMTwitter for Android
This is a certified milf Saturday, June 16, 2012 11:37:03 AMTwitter for Android
They've got a Mexican, a Pollack, and a Mexican who thinks he's Italian. Saturday, June 16, 2012 10:50:47 AMTwitter for Android
Bill Blum at the helm, sailing the sinking ship Saturday, June 16, 2012 10:46:43 AMTwitter for Android
Distilled from ya mom's box Saturday, June 16, 2012 12:28:07 AMTwitter for Android
Ah he's tied in? What a pussy. Friday, June 15, 2012 10:40:44 PMTwitter for Android
Yo. This guy walking across Niagara Falls is one crazy mother fucker. Friday, June 15, 2012 10:31:05 PMTwitter for Android
When the sun goes down, this place is gonna look like an acid trip... -John Friday, June 15, 2012 6:59:28 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Damn, it feels good to be me. Friday, June 15, 2012 4:00:27 PMTwitter for Android
When I go to a water park, I get all the hot lifeguards wet. Friday, June 15, 2012 2:33:22 PMTwitter for Android
How you know you're watching the new Scooby Doo and not the original: 1) Velma has huge tits 2) there are black people 3) Fred has cameltoe Friday, June 15, 2012 11:01:41 AMTwitter for Android
Goin on a biddie hunt Friday, June 15, 2012 12:08:18 AMTwitter for Android
Nighttime Atlantic ocean is so peaceful and healing. Not a soul out here Thursday, June 14, 2012 11:26:28 PMTwitter for Android
I was just gonna text someone something but ya know I had a few drinks and forgot so fuck it Thursday, June 14, 2012 10:59:13 PMTwitter for Android
Before I leave the shore this weekend, I'm buying this rick ross the boss sweatshirt. Thursday, June 14, 2012 10:26:27 PMTwitter for Android
This red bull/goose is phenom Thursday, June 14, 2012 9:21:16 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure this traffic isn't just stopped... its in reverse Thursday, June 14, 2012 1:48:06 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd going down the shore. Yeahhhhhh buddy
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Thursday, June 14, 2012 9:59:39 AMTwitter for Android
The rain sounds so peaceful right now. And I'm disturbed . Wednesday, June 13, 2012 3:28:53 AMTwitter for Android
As a dude that hates Apple. Maps in iOS 6 actually looks legit. Like... They copied what google did and probably did better. Monday, June 11, 2012 6:53:41 PMTwitter for Android
I want to potato sack this train girl next to me. She has a galaxy nexus too. That takes a 7 to a 9 but she's already a 9. Monday, June 11, 2012 6:50:36 PMTwitter for Android
#lolmets Sunday, June 10, 2012 4:15:42 PMTwitter for Android
Real talk. Bon appitite for that pussy. Friday, June 08, 2012 9:21:54 PMTwitter for Android
So superficial, these fuckin people Friday, June 08, 2012 8:51:18 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella calling people pizza face? So rude! Be nice. Maybe he's nice.
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Friday, June 08, 2012 8:48:29 PMTwitter for Android
Lol Mets suck Friday, June 08, 2012 8:32:35 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck this hipster with hipster glasses and his entourage of hot girls Friday, June 08, 2012 8:12:47 AMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella will do
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Thursday, June 07, 2012 11:39:20 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella worse than fat: bad grammar. "Is going went" nice.
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Thursday, June 07, 2012 11:28:12 PMTwitter for Android
I mean.... this bitch looks like a man but with that dress I'd still bang her. Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:49:16 PMTwitter for Android
I've got these fuckers hey the balls and they know it. And they'll do whatever the fuck I say. Because I'm right. And the shit Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:29:36 PMTwitter for Android
This guys doing great. When a guys got that good of a deal, ya can't do anythin else but mad respect. Good for you bro. Then I drink more. Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:00:03 PMTwitter for Android
I love how Alison has a galaxy nexus Thursday, June 07, 2012 9:47:03 PMTwitter for Android
@tomwcleary what a waste
In reply to @tomwcleary's tweet
Thursday, June 07, 2012 9:46:15 PMTwitter for Android
Someones ripping ass here so badly and its NOT ne Thursday, June 07, 2012 7:45:02 PMTwitter for Android
Where the mother fuck is the train? Also, they need another one bc this one is too fucking crowded. Thursday, June 07, 2012 8:07:14 AMTwitter for Android
Motherfuckers who swipe their metrocard, walk through the turnstyle and then stop/talk so no one else can pass... die. Wednesday, June 06, 2012 6:49:04 PMTwitter for Android
I'm telling you... ever since college ended the number of train smokes increased exponentially. Interns!!! Wednesday, June 06, 2012 8:27:55 AMTwitter for Android
Dibs on this potato sack reading the hunger games. Wednesday, June 06, 2012 8:26:59 AMTwitter for Android
Stupid autocorrect Monday, June 04, 2012 7:06:59 PMTwitter for Android
Ew. She has a blackberry. All the hot ties have iPhones. Duh. Monday, June 04, 2012 7:04:58 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously though. Stop biting your lip so much. Must want to bang. Monday, June 04, 2012 6:59:51 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah... that wasn't even a question. Monday, June 04, 2012 6:58:26 PMTwitter for Android
Can't decide who's hotter on this train... the blonde standing up or the brunette across from me licking her lip. Probs the brunette. Monday, June 04, 2012 6:57:32 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Dave said I drove to Taco Bell, then got in a fight in the drive-thru 'cause they never heard of Beefer D'reet Burreets. U ... Monday, June 04, 2012 4:40:15 PMTwitter for Android
Birds: shut the fuck up Monday, June 04, 2012 3:06:23 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: In devops are 10% get shit done. Rest are get bullshit done. Sunday, June 03, 2012 6:58:17 PMTwitter for Android
Really hope I didn't 50 Shades of Gray anyone last night at the bar... Saturday, June 02, 2012 1:41:21 PMTwitter for Android
Really the Mets got a no hitter? Fuck the Mets on my bday. They suck Friday, June 01, 2012 9:50:53 PMTwitter for Android
I'd bang elsie so hard but shes nast and I respect my dude gio so nah. But she's fun at the bar anyway so its all good Friday, June 01, 2012 9:50:15 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella well. You like it
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Friday, June 01, 2012 9:44:33 PMTwitter for Android
Wagner liked my instagram pic . We should bang Friday, June 01, 2012 9:44:05 PMTwitter for Android
But she apologized to me for being a cuntface Friday, June 01, 2012 9:06:08 PMTwitter for Android
Welp. That's the first bitch I pissed off grabbing her ass. This is bullshit. They all should like it Friday, June 01, 2012 9:05:45 PMTwitter for Android
Oops Friday, June 01, 2012 9:01:09 PMTwitter for Android
Walkin down the streets of NYC with a beer in a coffee cup bc I can son. Bc its my birffday Friday, June 01, 2012 7:40:07 PMTwitter for Android
@Onethirdof3x5 Lennon never showed up foo. As I predicted. That's why I called her out. Creeper
In reply to @Onethirdof3x5's tweet
Thursday, May 31, 2012 8:30:32 PMTwitter for Android
What's this dog show on CBS? I'd bang the shit out of these dog owner babes Wednesday, May 30, 2012 8:34:49 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: If I worked at The Bell, I'd call it, "The Beefer D'reet Bureet" and sell like a million in 5 minutes. But, no one asked m ... Wednesday, May 30, 2012 6:52:27 PMTwitter for Android
Yeahhh... Tuesday, May 29, 2012 8:18:32 AMTwitter for Android
Also, I'm really curious to see how this new radio I flashed works around Crestwood. Usually, it says 4G but cut out. I expect it fixed. Tuesday, May 29, 2012 7:59:21 AMTwitter for Android
Its way too hot and humid to be standing on this platform for 8am. This heat is bullshit. #canitbefallyet? Tuesday, May 29, 2012 7:55:39 AMTwitter for Android
That was excellent. Haven't seen that since legit 5th grade Monday, May 28, 2012 3:10:09 AMTwitter for Android
Whose got a scar? The monkey's his uncle? Monday, May 28, 2012 2:54:59 AMTwitter for Android
Not that there's anything wrong with that Monday, May 28, 2012 2:47:05 AMTwitter for Android
So what's Timone and Pumba's deal? Are they gays? They need some slut warthogs. Monday, May 28, 2012 2:46:39 AMTwitter for Android
I tell ya Pumba! This stinks! Monday, May 28, 2012 2:43:48 AMTwitter for Android