9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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They're fireflies that got stuck on that big bluish black thing. Monday, May 28, 2012 2:36:30 AMTwitter for Android
Not that I'm a pussy or some shit, but this is like prime schnuggling material. Monday, May 28, 2012 2:22:21 AMTwitter for Android
Oh no! Not the birdie boiler! Monday, May 28, 2012 2:06:07 AMTwitter for Android
Zazu.. the ultimate cockblock. Monday, May 28, 2012 1:59:33 AMTwitter for Android
I'm pretty sure the Lion King on Blu Ray is the most amazing thing I've seen since I was a child. Monday, May 28, 2012 1:49:24 AMTwitter for Android
I mean.. I know I love Aladdin and shit and Jasmine is hot... but Lion King is my all time childhood movie. Monday, May 28, 2012 1:44:48 AMTwitter for Android
Simmons. If you don't put on Lion King I swear to God. Monday, May 28, 2012 1:41:43 AMTwitter for Android
James Simon: I'll restore your website to its former, award-winning glory for 15 bucks. Monday, May 28, 2012 12:21:04 AMTwitter for Android
@mirrorfairfield fucking sucks. Thanks for bastardizing the website Kaela. So legit you graduated. Is that joker Alex there? Fuck that guy. Monday, May 28, 2012 12:19:51 AMTwitter for Android
Foursquare told me I was at bars 5 days in a row, you guys. I went to the bar Wednesday? Don't remember. This may be a problem. Sunday, May 27, 2012 11:46:34 PMTwitter for Android
The goose goes down real smooth, you guys Sunday, May 27, 2012 10:47:53 PMTwitter for Android
Country songs mainly involve drinking and trucks" Sunday, May 27, 2012 10:42:24 PMTwitter for Android
Come on man... you're retweeting shit while taking a shit? Sunday, May 27, 2012 10:29:22 PMTwitter for Android
Bring some fresh cutlets back here... Sunday, May 27, 2012 9:20:15 PMTwitter for Android
"Joe... What do you like better? A Nigerian or an Ethiopian?" Sunday, May 27, 2012 8:15:04 PMTwitter for Android
Not to sound like a woman, but angry orchard cider is actually really good. Sunday, May 27, 2012 5:50:05 PMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam I heard its fast, solid and has good battery life
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Sunday, May 27, 2012 3:55:04 PMTwitter for Android
Is it fall yet? #toohot Sunday, May 27, 2012 3:45:18 PMTwitter for Android
The girl in the Avion Tequila commercial can tie me down any day. Sunday, May 27, 2012 11:25:01 AMTwitter for Android
I want to follow @lennonimagine on twitter, but if I do, I'll have to stop tweeting about how we should bang and her awesome rack Sunday, May 27, 2012 2:30:44 AMTwitter for Android
Mad props to the dude with the "Ron Paul and drugs and rock and roll" shirt Saturday, May 26, 2012 11:57:32 PMTwitter for Android
There's an Asian at the bar with a slowpoke with a beer shirt. Legit Saturday, May 26, 2012 10:54:09 PMTwitter for Android
Also, no more room in my stomach for beer. Bogus Saturday, May 26, 2012 10:22:59 PMTwitter for Android
Guy. I'm fucking huge. Saturday, May 26, 2012 10:18:56 PMTwitter for Android
That is what I call a certified cockblock. Nothing to do with me though sob whatevs. Haha. But jeez Saturday, May 26, 2012 9:34:22 PMTwitter for Android
Just walking down gay St. Saturday, May 26, 2012 8:04:50 PMTwitter for Android
Lessard: "I can't wait until I go to the retirement home with you fuckers. We'll play beer pong in the bingo hall" Saturday, May 26, 2012 6:00:12 PMTwitter for Android
Cleary to chicks: "I like when you pull tape off my skin" Saturday, May 26, 2012 5:43:44 PMTwitter for Android
Ya know what... you motherfuckers can shut me out in beer pong but I'm getting laid tonight. So I win. Saturday, May 26, 2012 4:56:06 PMTwitter for Android
@ShavingFoams sinking cups. Banging sluts
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Saturday, May 26, 2012 4:41:25 PMTwitter for Android
I'm the best beer pong loser ever. I always lose after a 3 cup death match run. And miss the last cup by a millimeter. This is bullshit Saturday, May 26, 2012 4:40:56 PMTwitter for Android
This is bullshit. I just lost like 3 games of beer pong Saturday, May 26, 2012 2:54:31 PMTwitter for Android
TC: whatever swings your swing... Saturday, May 26, 2012 12:03:44 PMTwitter for Android
Jersey Turnpike smells delicious right now. Lessard thought I farted, opened the window and it got worse. Saturday, May 26, 2012 12:09:09 AMTwitter for Android
Piece of shit new haven line. I think this antique train just broke down. Friday, May 25, 2012 7:54:32 PMTwitter for Android
You know how to train a kid to shut up? A taser. Friday, May 25, 2012 7:47:53 PMTwitter for Android
I don't get how a 5 year old can make continuous grunting, screeching and whining noises for 45 minutes Friday, May 25, 2012 7:46:33 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously. Someone give this fuckin kid an ambien. And give the parents a bat to the head for being shitty at raising this kid. Friday, May 25, 2012 7:45:40 PMTwitter for Android
This fuckin kid in this train needs to shut the fuck up. Lousy parents. Friday, May 25, 2012 7:39:15 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew lol. This is the second time i yelled at you for not answering when I never actually called.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Friday, May 25, 2012 7:36:34 AMTwitter for Android
Dranj an Arrogant Bastard tonight, you guys. Maybe that's why I got tossed.... Friday, May 25, 2012 2:19:49 AMTwitter for Android
@ShavingFoams happy birthday. Or day after your birthday. Or some shit. Idk I'm hammered and got tossed from the bar. Lol
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Friday, May 25, 2012 2:17:27 AMTwitter for Android
I'm. Mother fuckin mess Friday, May 25, 2012 2:16:07 AMTwitter for Android
Shea like so tiny she doesn't even count. Thursday, May 24, 2012 9:35:03 PMTwitter for Android
@ivankatrump is a certified milf Thursday, May 24, 2012 9:34:14 PMTwitter for Android
Also I'm gonna fuck Kristen on the swung at the bar next week at our bday party Thursday, May 24, 2012 9:33:53 PMTwitter for Android
Also Christina is my favorite lesbian Thursday, May 24, 2012 9:33:15 PMTwitter for Android
Nah man you don't have to worry... Niraj:" I'm the HR" Thursday, May 24, 2012 9:32:56 PMTwitter for Android
I'm obsessed with this neon girl silhouette on the music machine thing at the bar Thursday, May 24, 2012 6:55:10 PMTwitter for Android
Whoa. The ass on this one. Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:57:58 PMTwitter for Android
Tex looks like a psychopath. http://t.co/xiPu4dJ Tuesday, May 22, 2012 9:35:07 PMTwitter for Android
This game is a bunch of bullshit. Nap time because I'll be up all night Monday, May 21, 2012 10:04:59 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo @KeriAHarrison see.. she actually didn't bring me home. I got thrown out. Her loss.
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Sunday, May 20, 2012 10:28:43 PMTwitter for Android
@Frankalankster Dude, don't date mistakes.... Just kick them out the next morning.
In reply to @Frankalankster's tweet
Sunday, May 20, 2012 12:16:50 PMTwitter for Android
While looking at the 2012 high school yearbook: "wow. I remember when these fuckers were in diapers. Our lives are over." Sunday, May 20, 2012 12:09:04 AMTwitter for Android
Crayzeesheep: "Hey Danny, let's go operate heavy machinery right now" Sunday, May 20, 2012 12:00:55 AMTwitter for Android
Yeah yeah yeah enough with all that bullshit Saturday, May 19, 2012 11:27:44 PMTwitter for Android
Counting how many fuckable girls there are on this train. Probs a million, you guys. Saturday, May 19, 2012 1:40:03 AMTwitter for Android
Actually. Fuck these guys sayin I'm soft. I'll beat the fuck outta them Saturday, May 19, 2012 1:07:58 AMTwitter for Android
Gotta drop 20 bc I'm a fat fuck. Or stay the same and keep muscle. Fuck off. Saturday, May 19, 2012 1:05:38 AMTwitter for Android
Welp.. thought I had some guns but these motherfuckers said I'm soft. Gotta work out I guess. This is bullshit Saturday, May 19, 2012 1:04:56 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck yaself. So special. Saturday, May 19, 2012 12:47:19 AMTwitter for Android
Nips are so sore, motherfuckers Saturday, May 19, 2012 12:33:39 AMTwitter for Android
I know gio's got that ass instead of me. The fact i can make a motherfuker jealous means im better. Friday, May 18, 2012 11:23:58 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin a Elise. If you're gonna bang gio, you're not allowed to bite my nipple Friday, May 18, 2012 11:06:00 PMTwitter for Android
Nah. Ya don't. Friday, May 18, 2012 10:58:20 PMTwitter for Android
Yes bartender. You get it. If you put ice down my hairy assed Italian chest every woman wants, you get a better tip Friday, May 18, 2012 10:30:07 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Feel like I could drink a thousand beers right now, you guys. Friday, May 18, 2012 10:26:27 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella obviously because I'm not there . Duh
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Friday, May 18, 2012 10:06:42 PMTwitter for Android
My boss is the best human ever. When I'm a manager, I wish I was as cool as him. He's the definition of what to do right in business school. Friday, May 18, 2012 10:06:14 PMTwitter for Android
My coworker wore this to work. What a baller. http://t.co/L4DET7r mad fuckin swag. Stud central station. Friday, May 18, 2012 9:38:04 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 yes iron horse
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Friday, May 18, 2012 9:15:09 PMTwitter for Android
Useless motherfuckers Friday, May 18, 2012 9:14:45 PMTwitter for Android
I may or may not have to swing on the bar with Elise. Again. Friday, May 18, 2012 8:51:28 PMTwitter for Android
Natalia: "you don't make Russian girls do something. They make you do something" Friday, May 18, 2012 8:21:23 PMTwitter for Android
Ah mother fucker. My twitter is ridiculous again Friday, May 18, 2012 1:23:48 AMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd yes it is... so to reconcile that, we should bang.
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Friday, May 18, 2012 12:33:30 AMTwitter for Android
Also, Elise's ass is good but Idk. Like... I refrained from slapping it on cinco for mad respect, but she knows she likes it. Friday, May 18, 2012 12:16:59 AMTwitter for Android
I'd bang this bitch in fishnets, but she might need some brown baggin Friday, May 18, 2012 12:03:11 AMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo motherfuckin right I hate slow bullshit.
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Thursday, May 17, 2012 11:38:45 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd *wish I had gone... not went. Grammar, ya joker
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Thursday, May 17, 2012 11:37:35 PMTwitter for Android
Why do all homeless motherfuckers smell the same degree of nasty? Thursday, May 17, 2012 11:36:36 PMTwitter for Android
Bro, cut your nails. you're nasty Wednesday, May 16, 2012 8:06:50 AMTwitter for Android
What's this bullshit my internet is out. Fios never goes out. Bunch of bullshit. Wednesday, May 16, 2012 12:31:20 AMTwitter for Android
@smstemp oops. Sorry.
In reply to @smstemp's tweet
Tuesday, May 15, 2012 10:17:05 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo You're at a bar alone and watching the Mets. The fucks wrong with you? Why would you ever watch the Mets?
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Tuesday, May 15, 2012 7:47:28 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo Yeah, the first time I told him about it, he thought I was crazy. Idk
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Sunday, May 13, 2012 9:43:00 PMTwitter for Android
@Frankalankster rain check for what?
In reply to @Frankalankster's tweet
Sunday, May 13, 2012 8:32:12 PMTwitter for Android
ANDYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Sunday, May 13, 2012 1:14:35 PMTwitter for Android
Happy Mother's Day, all you mothers Sunday, May 13, 2012 12:57:41 PMTwitter for Android
That my friends, is a certified milf. Son's 25 and she looks 25. Dibbbbbs Sunday, May 13, 2012 11:44:52 AMTwitter for Android
Beer gives me the shits... Friday, May 11, 2012 2:43:01 AMTwitter for Android
Before, I tweeted "hot. Can I get in on that?" No fuckin idea what I was talking about. Hhhhhh Friday, May 11, 2012 1:24:37 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus. Still waiting at mother fuckin mcdonalds. Friday, May 11, 2012 1:02:27 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck this guy. Friday, May 11, 2012 12:59:06 AMTwitter for Android
Instead of flirting with players, can you make me a mother fuckin snack wrap. Jesus christ. Fuckin guy is slower than shit Friday, May 11, 2012 12:57:52 AMTwitter for Android
Hot. Can I get in on that? Thursday, May 10, 2012 8:06:05 PMTwitter for Android
Bunch of dumb motherfuckers here at the MTA. Whose asinine idea was it to unload a full train and load two others on adjacent tracks? Wednesday, May 09, 2012 6:55:10 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin muggy, rainy nasty and 7 million degrees. Sweating balls. This is disgusting. Crank the AC in this bitch Wednesday, May 09, 2012 8:24:59 AMTwitter for Android
That's one angry looking mother fucker on this train Wednesday, May 09, 2012 1:12:37 AMTwitter for Android