9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Yes! My dude is back! Monday, July 23, 2012 8:10:41 AMTwitter for Android
I will be very disappointed if the chill conductor dude who calls everyone tiger/boss/sport/ace is not back this week on my morning train Monday, July 23, 2012 7:56:46 AMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo this is a bullshit statement. Everyone does it
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Sunday, July 22, 2012 8:09:37 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ the Yankees suck. Can't even beat a shit team in 4 games Sunday, July 22, 2012 7:56:05 PMTwitter for Android
My mom: "Your hair is getting long. Its messy. The girls put their hands through your hair, didn't they?" Sunday, July 22, 2012 7:53:22 PMTwitter for Android
Why is my mom listening to Christmas music right now? Sunday, July 22, 2012 3:38:38 PMTwitter for Android
Didn't tweet yesterday. Wonder why. Sunday, July 22, 2012 1:21:15 PMTwitter for Android
Some bro on this train "well can I at least roll a joint?" Saturday, July 21, 2012 1:42:45 AMTwitter for Android
This fuckin guy should get the death penalty for delaying 150 people on this train Saturday, July 21, 2012 1:42:18 AMTwitter for Android
This is some bullshit. Can I at least get a beer? Saturday, July 21, 2012 1:41:39 AMTwitter for Android
RT @MalJNew Bau
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Saturday, July 21, 2012 1:36:20 AMTwitter for Android
I say fuck that guy. Let him electrocute and run him over and move on Saturday, July 21, 2012 1:34:47 AMTwitter for Android
Welp. There's a guy walking on the tracks so they cut the power on this train Saturday, July 21, 2012 1:34:26 AMTwitter for Android
Like. I'm waiting for them to bust out the glock Friday, July 20, 2012 10:04:59 PMTwitter for Android
Hanging out with a bunch of derelics . Guaranteed Friday, July 20, 2012 10:04:21 PMTwitter for Android
"Her vagina has to smell like shit. Straight up stanky Hudson River" -Elise Friday, July 20, 2012 7:09:49 PMTwitter for Android
If you shove your tits in my face, I'll hit the cup. Duh it makes me better Friday, July 20, 2012 5:17:03 PMTwitter for Android
Its too fucking hot for any of this bullshit. Summer needs to end immediately Tuesday, July 17, 2012 7:13:59 PMTwitter for Android
What other nationalities do I need to shout out to tonight? Where my Germans at? Monday, July 16, 2012 10:29:27 PMTwitter for Android
If my black train conductor who calls me tiger isn't on the 8:02 and I get the British Indian woman instead, I'll be pissed Monday, July 16, 2012 10:28:39 PMTwitter for Android
Idk why I just pointed out he's Asian. Should've just said sleeping dude... no ones offended right? We cool Monday, July 16, 2012 10:27:04 PMTwitter for Android
This sleeping Asian better wake up before my stop because I don't feel like waking him up. Monday, July 16, 2012 10:26:14 PMTwitter for Android
Pump the AC up in this bitch, bastards Monday, July 16, 2012 10:23:51 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin train is hot as sack... Monday, July 16, 2012 10:12:16 PMTwitter for Android
Dude with a Vineyard Vines sunglasses strap on his glasses here. Pure douchebaggery. Little piece of material is probably like $75 Monday, July 16, 2012 7:56:40 AMTwitter for Android
Lounge act Saturday, July 14, 2012 6:54:07 PMTwitter for Android
screaming betterman with mikey. Priceless. Saturday, July 14, 2012 6:36:23 PMTwitter for Android
I love poop! Saturday, July 14, 2012 4:46:52 PMTwitter for Android
"You look like a Christmas present" " You look like beautiful breasts" Saturday, July 14, 2012 3:42:44 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo I want them all to lurrrve me
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Saturday, July 14, 2012 3:27:13 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo I don't believe you
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Saturday, July 14, 2012 2:45:39 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo I was talking about women but okay
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Saturday, July 14, 2012 1:54:01 PMTwitter for Android
I think I need to grow my hair longer. If the drag queens run their hands through my hair it means it will drive the ladies crazy #yeahbuddy Saturday, July 14, 2012 1:45:33 PMTwitter for Android
Black and British. A good combination Saturday, July 14, 2012 1:13:40 PMTwitter for Android
Probably shouldn't have pregamed an unlimited alcohol brunch, but what are ya gonna do? Saturday, July 14, 2012 12:52:12 PMTwitter for Android
Lol. Little angry there. Haha Friday, July 13, 2012 7:14:57 AMTwitter for Android
YOU KNOW FUCK THUS CUNT ASS TRAIN CONDUCTOR. THE ONE SEAT I PICK TO BE AWAY FROM EVERYONE HE KICKED ME OUT OF. his work area. Fuckin go away Friday, July 13, 2012 12:42:38 AMTwitter for Android
I Thursday, July 12, 2012 11:54:10 PMTwitter for Android
This bitch can go fuck herself. Thursday, July 12, 2012 11:25:16 PMTwitter for Android
Do you know how mother fucking crushing it is for someone to tell you how you never smile unless you're blackout or get free food. Thursday, July 12, 2012 11:24:58 PMTwitter for Android
You know what. Its never about how hot you are. As superficial as i sound. Its not true Thursday, July 12, 2012 11:24:23 PMTwitter for Android
I think I need a puppy Wednesday, July 11, 2012 11:14:56 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella because you post like a 13 year old
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Wednesday, July 11, 2012 7:59:00 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: Hello World in cloud is involve 1 load balancer, 3 web server and 2 database server. Tuesday, July 10, 2012 10:55:48 PMTwitter for Android
I let it go Tuesday, July 10, 2012 10:08:03 PMTwitter for Android
Who the fuck is Philip Phillips? You can't come up with a better name? And on acoustic guitar? Steve Stevenson. Tuesday, July 10, 2012 7:41:38 PMTwitter for Android
Vinny: "Joe buck is the closest thing to an erect penis as a human can be." Tuesday, July 10, 2012 7:40:40 PMTwitter for Android
I'd bang me Tuesday, July 10, 2012 8:06:14 AMTwitter for Android
Caught two more smokes looking. Must be prime in prime shape today. Tuesday, July 10, 2012 8:05:11 AMTwitter for Android
Damn right I got a doubletake, sweetie. Caught ya. I'm fuckin hot today. Boss shades, prime shirt. Etc. Tuesday, July 10, 2012 7:54:02 AMTwitter for Android
Just looked at yesterday's tweets and noticed my auto correct changed vagrant to flagrant. Whoops Sunday, July 08, 2012 8:45:58 PMTwitter for Android
Can you ask a nurse to swaddle you? Sunday, July 08, 2012 2:34:56 PMTwitter for Android
How a dude should not die: falling off a building singing Jessica Simpson Sunday, July 08, 2012 12:50:57 PMTwitter for Android
B-I-G.. P-O, P-P-A , no info for the D-E A. Federal agents mad cause I'm flagrant. (took me like 5 mins to type this tweet bc I'm hammered) Sunday, July 08, 2012 1:36:03 AMTwitter for Android
I have a soft spot for ace of bass. But not my dick Sunday, July 08, 2012 12:42:00 AMTwitter for Android
Wait. I lied. Its not a gay bar. Just a gay party. All the rainbows confused me Sunday, July 08, 2012 12:36:15 AMTwitter for Android
Oh I think I just popped my gay bar cherry. Hey. Happens. Dave grohl where ya at? Sunday, July 08, 2012 12:19:16 AMTwitter for Android
"Your arm looks like a piece of beef that was thrown on the grill for a second" -mikey Saturday, July 07, 2012 11:50:45 PMTwitter for Android
My life would suck without me Saturday, July 07, 2012 9:25:26 PMTwitter for Android
Another example of MTA waste: they're running a train to Yankee Stadium for the Roger Waters concert. There was not one person on it Saturday, July 07, 2012 5:47:55 PMTwitter for Android
I should have been a nurse on the grounds that all nurses are hot. Its like a rule. I don't know an ugly nurse. Saturday, July 07, 2012 3:23:33 AMTwitter for Android
The only thing I'm disappointed in is the fact that there's no YouTube video of me wiping. Would've been hysterical Saturday, July 07, 2012 3:22:34 AMTwitter for Android
@Colithika touche. I wonder this myself
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Saturday, July 07, 2012 3:11:47 AMTwitter for Android
Longboarding downhill for the 1st time. Took pavement at 15mph. Bitches dig injuries. means I'm getting laid tomorrow http://t.co/PnonJC3 Saturday, July 07, 2012 2:54:39 AMTwitter for Android
John: "Popeye's. That's some deep south shit" Saturday, July 07, 2012 12:59:07 AMTwitter for Android
Watching Taken. So boss. "Now's not the time for dick measuring, Stewart!" Friday, July 06, 2012 11:53:13 PMTwitter for Android
Foursquare is being useless again. Its down more than our app Friday, July 06, 2012 1:40:15 PMTwitter for Android
If I have to sleep without AC there will be fucking problems Thursday, July 05, 2012 9:16:36 PMTwitter for Android
A mother fuckin blackout. This is some bullshit Thursday, July 05, 2012 9:15:13 PMTwitter for Android
I'm working on a project to import my tweets from 2009 into my DB archive. I used to tweet like 29x per day. Now I don't as much Thursday, July 05, 2012 4:43:19 PMTwitter for Android
At the bar. My neon girl is dancing to Cold Hard Bitch. So pumped. Thursday, July 05, 2012 4:34:23 PMTwitter for Android
Murrrr'ca... fuck yeah Wednesday, July 04, 2012 8:14:22 PMTwitter for Android
Step 1. Get drunk step 2 find smart people (aka your boys from home/school) step 3. Start company step4. Get bought out. Step 5 enjoyyy Wednesday, July 04, 2012 1:56:58 AMTwitter for Android
Lisa Wednesday, July 04, 2012 1:43:57 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew hhhh threesome. Sounds hot. But we're the fun one. Everyone else is a lame.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Wednesday, July 04, 2012 12:59:38 AMTwitter for Android
This is some fuckin bullshit. I couldn't hit a mother fuckin cup to save my life. I blame danny for being cocky. Karma ya stupid fuck Wednesday, July 04, 2012 12:58:48 AMTwitter for Android
Shithead next to me on the train: stop fuckin humming Tuesday, July 03, 2012 6:55:22 PMTwitter for Android
No one wants to go to the bar with me. See what happens when @MalJNew and Elise are away? Tuesday, July 03, 2012 3:57:10 PMTwitter for Android
I am requesting Cap'n Karls Bratato Salad for my BBQ tomorrow. @DadBoner Tuesday, July 03, 2012 3:56:21 PMTwitter for Android
Love how some tub of shit decided to squeeze into my three seater. Fuckin go to another one its to hot for this bullshit Monday, July 02, 2012 6:42:57 PMTwitter for Android
No patience for these fucking slow ass elevators this morning Monday, July 02, 2012 8:59:50 AMTwitter for Android
Bases loaded 0 outs and these useless motherfuckers can't even score Sunday, July 01, 2012 2:27:53 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus christ, Philip. .2 innings, 2 earned runs... Sunday, July 01, 2012 2:13:51 PMTwitter for Android
$2 drafts here on a Saturday night? That's unreal. Also the average age is probably like 76 and none of my boys are here. What a waste Saturday, June 30, 2012 8:27:54 PMTwitter for Android
Absolutely lit that bathroom Saturday, June 30, 2012 6:44:57 PMTwitter for Android
@SonicBlur23 OK Mr math teacher
In reply to @SonicBlur23's tweet
Saturday, June 30, 2012 12:18:32 PMTwitter for Android
If you multiply any two numbers ending in 6, your product will also always end in 6 Saturday, June 30, 2012 10:48:30 AMTwitter for Android
Nearest cell tower here is on the other mountain peak. Essentially, my phone works but its borderline useless Saturday, June 30, 2012 10:02:35 AMTwitter for Android
@Jiaaro To hell with flash on Android! I didn't even install it. Battery and resource hog
In reply to @Jiaaro's tweet
Friday, June 29, 2012 2:17:16 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin foursquare is down again. So unreliable Friday, June 29, 2012 11:41:17 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: In startup we are practice NoOps, NoSQL and NoScrum. Thursday, June 28, 2012 9:20:10 PMTwitter for Android
That was reeeeeaaaaal cute, explaining all of our server issues we had this week to our CEO in the elevator... Real cute.... Thursday, June 28, 2012 6:20:10 PMTwitter for Android
I'm at the bar and can't remember my boobspace password Wednesday, June 27, 2012 11:10:48 PMTwitter for Android
Oh... fuck. Me.. I thought I could pass out. We have server maintenance tonight Monday, June 25, 2012 11:33:32 PMTwitter for Android
PS. My tweets are like 94% better drunk than sober. Drunk = a fun time. Sober = technology Monday, June 25, 2012 11:22:01 PMTwitter for Android
Ladies and gentlemen.... Elise's ass http://t.co/I1yHRI6 Monday, June 25, 2012 10:03:43 PMTwitter for Android
Just got yelled at by a granny at Yankee stadium by talking about sex, blowjobs, Tracey solanas and beer... in front of 6yr olds. Monday, June 25, 2012 9:05:34 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking foursquare is down Monday, June 25, 2012 7:28:51 PMTwitter for Android
#lolmets Sunday, June 24, 2012 11:31:22 PMTwitter for Android
Happy pride day. (Still gay for Dave Robertson) Sunday, June 24, 2012 11:07:10 PMTwitter for Android