9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| It would be my luck to lose in double OT in beer pong. This is bs | Saturday, August 18, 2012 9:15:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| spread eagle pushups | Saturday, August 18, 2012 8:32:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| TC: the world is my Royster | Saturday, August 18, 2012 6:42:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dudes like my boy Barry that calls everyone slugger, tiger and junior are one of the reasons I don't altogether lose it on the MTA | Friday, August 17, 2012 8:07:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Thank you sore throat for making me miss dev drinks. The programmers are worried about me because I ditched them for drinks the past 4 times | Thursday, August 16, 2012 6:16:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Delayed for the THIRD time in two days. Fucking MTA | Thursday, August 16, 2012 4:59:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mother to her loud kid on the train: "Shh. No one wants to hear you" fantastic! | Thursday, August 16, 2012 4:41:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Why do you need two drummers?" "Well, we increase our chances of having a sober drummer on stage by 50%" | Thursday, August 16, 2012 12:32:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I hope the cops shot the asshole dead who is responsible for this | Wednesday, August 15, 2012 9:58:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Stuck on trains twice in one day. This is all a bunch of fuckin bullshit. I just wanna go home and sleep. I'm sick | Wednesday, August 15, 2012 9:57:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @VtotheFlo nope, still feel like shit In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet | Wednesday, August 15, 2012 7:59:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I really don't understand how @MalJNew still has no idea how to type a penis when I showed her like 9 times already. | Monday, August 13, 2012 8:54:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Andyes, that's andre. Its $5 and the last time I touched it was 09 when we sprayed it all over the swamp when the yanks won the world series | Sunday, August 12, 2012 12:23:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit guys. Gatorpagne is actually not bad tasting | Sunday, August 12, 2012 12:22:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Gatorpagne! http://t.co/HraMpvD | Sunday, August 12, 2012 12:18:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My piss smells like a gin bucket | Sunday, August 12, 2012 11:35:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hungover as fuck | Sunday, August 12, 2012 11:25:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Ali is here! the Baghdad dentist dude whos like 34 and graduated in 2010 | Sunday, August 12, 2012 12:57:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Tell this joker to play some biggie | Sunday, August 12, 2012 12:56:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| HOLD THE PHONE... the grape doesn't have a fucking trough anymore to piss in? There are urinals now? They've gone soft. | Saturday, August 11, 2012 11:33:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu get the fuck out if here. I'm at the shack | Saturday, August 11, 2012 8:54:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Haliskoe: "Good news. In the state of Connecticut, its not considered drunk driving if your OnStar is sober" | Saturday, August 11, 2012 5:59:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Joe.... well as long as you black out well.... | Saturday, August 11, 2012 12:59:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't know why this fuckin garlic smelly motherfucker has to come sit up my ass in a two seater when there's an empty seat across from me | Friday, August 10, 2012 8:05:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Colithika YES. In reply to @Colithika's tweet | Friday, August 10, 2012 12:01:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @nyJULZmd: dog http://t.co/pO8CWvbn | Thursday, August 09, 2012 9:45:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Track 42? That even exists? Fuckin like.. .west bumblefuck in grand central | Thursday, August 09, 2012 8:29:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Overheard on the street: "My big kitty book is SOOOO much better than Ashley's beaver?" | Thursday, August 09, 2012 2:17:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew QA team is protesting and working through the meeting. Also, I get free food which is one of the only things that makes me smile | Thursday, August 09, 2012 7:43:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @VtotheFlo no you clearly don't understand SQL... I'll explain layer In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet | Thursday, August 09, 2012 2:24:45 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "So did you have a bad day at work today?" "What day at work?" | Wednesday, August 08, 2012 11:42:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pretty sure my train has a flat tire. Its making me shake like I have Parkinson's and I can't read my phone. I'm also nauseous. | Wednesday, August 08, 2012 8:20:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 my girl cousins fought over the flower all the time when I was a kid and yes, it sucked. In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Tuesday, August 07, 2012 11:09:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Line here is slower than Alexeys fuckin availability search. | Monday, August 06, 2012 10:43:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Especially when there's a 76 person Mexican family in front of me | Monday, August 06, 2012 10:39:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The lines in this bitch ass McDonald's are longer than my dick | Monday, August 06, 2012 10:38:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @DadBoner: Don't understand why some folks hate the gays. They're great at all kindsa things, like friendship, olympic sports, advice ... | Monday, August 06, 2012 9:46:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Google Now makes stupid assed assumptions. Just bc I search for a place on maps doesn't mean it should show a card with traffic as a commute | Monday, August 06, 2012 12:19:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @kellyomealia actually, the second one is a pretty sweet pic too. Artsy In reply to @kellyomealia's tweet | Sunday, August 05, 2012 9:02:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 101.9 | Sunday, August 05, 2012 1:32:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| NY has a rock station again! Yay. Now I have some driving music. | Sunday, August 05, 2012 1:27:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Boobs | Sunday, August 05, 2012 12:19:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just dropped half a baby cow at Maresca's. Might not be welcome back | Sunday, August 05, 2012 9:25:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm at karaoke watching two of the drunkest, whitest girls rap biggie's gimmie the loot. hAHa | Sunday, August 05, 2012 1:28:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "So how many times do you think a Volvo dealership was vandalized to say vulva?" This guy's killing me | Saturday, August 04, 2012 11:54:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pretty sure there's a murder about to take place at "Express Convenience Shop" in Huntington | Saturday, August 04, 2012 11:45:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm stuffing my fat face with veil parmigiana and fried calamari. Nom | Saturday, August 04, 2012 7:02:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| With pearl jam in the background. This place is sick | Friday, August 03, 2012 8:58:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Free beers with Yankee home runs? 6GET IT IN | Friday, August 03, 2012 8:58:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bars playing grunge is good in my eyes | Friday, August 03, 2012 8:31:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Derick: "grabbin that non existent ass" Cisco: "yeah man. Its like fucking an ironingboard" | Friday, August 03, 2012 8:19:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bird watchin' by derick rodriguez | Friday, August 03, 2012 8:13:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This bartender is turning all my hot coworkers into leabians | Friday, August 03, 2012 7:47:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp, he went for a smoke and came back and its absolutely him | Friday, August 03, 2012 7:41:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This Mexican next to me at the bar smells like shit ass | Friday, August 03, 2012 7:38:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "We're watching emotional music videos. I'd give you my virginity, but that's long gone" bahahahah | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 11:57:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's a bunch of bullshit that HBO GO isn't available for Android 4.1 yet. HBO: Y U NO update your shit | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 10:33:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Does anyone have a fucking xanax? | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 11:57:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Now both my fucking eyelids twitch. Fuck my life so hard I'm calling out sick for a week | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 11:54:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I need to get out of here | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 11:53:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| All I do all day is talk on the phone with RackSpace. This is all bullshit. | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 11:52:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Mid July bender? I think I blew through $800 cash since the 20th... What are ya gonna do? | Sunday, July 29, 2012 9:02:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My eye stopped twitching all weekend but now it's going nuts again. This is some bullshit | Sunday, July 29, 2012 8:07:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @scoopANDslam ICS is actually excellent. Motorola ruined it with MotoBlur In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet | Sunday, July 29, 2012 6:13:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Colithika u can't have her nigs In reply to @Colithika's tweet | Saturday, July 28, 2012 6:57:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Colithika daniel. I. Borderline hammered and my bartender is coo.but.like. I'm banging someone else so wtf tellbhe r to gtfo In reply to @Colithika's tweet | Saturday, July 28, 2012 6:51:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Vodka sprite? | Saturday, July 28, 2012 6:48:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yuri is my boy | Saturday, July 28, 2012 6:41:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp. You're gonna do that and smoke? Die at like 40. What are ya gonna do. I'll be free again | Saturday, July 28, 2012 5:43:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin . Why smoke cigs joker. Shit won't get you anywhere crept lung cancer. Smoke a blunt bitches. | Saturday, July 28, 2012 4:09:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yeah. Keep smoking asshole. I will get over it you'll be drunk and suck it so hard | Saturday, July 28, 2012 4:01:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| TK your herpes added cat can suck your dick | Saturday, July 28, 2012 2:47:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh and the servers going down when I'm shitfaced at brunch is nit ideal | Saturday, July 28, 2012 2:23:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Kristen is Hermionie Granger, with the exception that she's dumb as fuck | Saturday, July 28, 2012 2:22:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Officer I swear I'm nit drunk. I can say the alcohol backwards | Saturday, July 28, 2012 12:04:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Everyone is giving me shit for my long unkempt hair. I think my hair is longer than Christina's | Friday, July 27, 2012 8:12:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Christina: "this sucks everything sucks fuck everything with fire" | Friday, July 27, 2012 8:08:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dakota bar. Playing 90s grunge. Fuckin. I'm gonna sing with Christina | Friday, July 27, 2012 7:33:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Waiter brought me two beers bc she thought I was two people. Not sure if awesome or fat........ | Friday, July 27, 2012 2:22:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #velbapalooza is trending on the G1 peeps' twitters | Friday, July 27, 2012 10:02:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy birthday to my favorite mover! Guys like old as fuck today. Many more! | Friday, July 27, 2012 12:14:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I win! | Thursday, July 26, 2012 11:45:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also I'm like the happiest right now. | Thursday, July 26, 2012 11:35:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bahaha my boss liked my fb status where I said @LennonImagine could talk (dirty) to my nexus 7 tablet any time she wanted | Thursday, July 26, 2012 11:34:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Elise. You took a scandalous pic of me tonight. If you dont sext me that so I can whack it to me later, we are no longer friends | Thursday, July 26, 2012 9:44:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sext me my own hot pic boo so I can go to bed to me tonight | Thursday, July 26, 2012 9:41:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Novellabella Correct. He really won't go to you. In reply to @Novellabella's tweet | Thursday, July 26, 2012 9:15:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew Girl. You bought yourself a rainbow ring? | Thursday, July 26, 2012 9:14:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck dee phones, mon.. fuck dee phones... | Thursday, July 26, 2012 9:10:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dan: "You can't fire someone on attitude if you didn't give them a chance to take their attitude out of the workplace" | Thursday, July 26, 2012 8:40:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Really lookin forward to top shelf margs, you guys | Thursday, July 26, 2012 7:30:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Good morning, all tickets please! Thank you... thank you and you. Thank you, Ace. Thanks, sport. Thank you... Sonny. Thank you three. | Thursday, July 26, 2012 8:18:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Night tweeple :-) | Thursday, July 26, 2012 1:39:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Nexus 7 tablet is legit. Was angle to tether it to my phone. Yay | Thursday, July 26, 2012 12:49:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Some dumbass thought the Tuckahoe station was called "Cockamo..." idiot. | Wednesday, July 25, 2012 11:43:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Look how dark it is at 8:30. The summer is half gone. As the mover would say... | Wednesday, July 25, 2012 8:36:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My boy sean is at barfly. Haven't seen the dude since hamachi closed. | Wednesday, July 25, 2012 7:51:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My porn name would be Winky Pickle | Wednesday, July 25, 2012 7:08:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| To the gentleman who shoved me out of the way at the train station instead of saying excuse me... how about I shove you in front of a train? | Wednesday, July 25, 2012 8:01:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Got my dope jams playlist ready for the ride to AC | Tuesday, July 24, 2012 8:20:48 AM | Twitter for Android |