9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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I need a xanax Saturday, September 29, 2012 2:41:13 PMTwitter for Android
Nice to know that the CEO now has my number and calls about issues. Sorry, you don't pay me enough to talk directly to the CEO. Saturday, September 29, 2012 2:27:57 PMTwitter for Android
@SonicBlur23 : "I want a fuckin Hawaii girl.... To suck my dick" Friday, September 28, 2012 11:28:12 PMTwitter for Android
Yo. Where the fuck did i park? I don't think I can find it in this massive lot... http://t.co/W9y7gNS Friday, September 28, 2012 11:09:56 PMTwitter for Android
If I'm not the most interesting, crazy assed bitch you follow on twitter you're a lame. Friday, September 28, 2012 8:24:46 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: K-Money Club Rule #6 (pt2): If you're a smokin' babe that's gotta crap, management may let you push it out in a supervised ... Friday, September 28, 2012 8:21:59 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck off, douche knuckle Friday, September 28, 2012 8:20:16 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sorry, but this Galaxy Nexus has a pussy horse shit assed weak radio that never gets the internets Friday, September 28, 2012 8:18:55 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Father @BadPointer!!! Teach me the ways!
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Friday, September 28, 2012 8:14:01 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck man. Its tough to play Temple Run on the train when this fuckin shitbox is swaying so much. My accelerometer is too sensitive Friday, September 28, 2012 8:13:20 PMTwitter for Android
This chick has man feet Friday, September 28, 2012 7:42:50 PMTwitter for Android
Cheers to the Asian with the Wario spiked shell backpack. Friday, September 28, 2012 7:42:48 PMTwitter for Android
Also, I know I'm struttin that ass tonight, but I told Blagner that as good as my ass was, it was only a quarter good as hers. Friday, September 28, 2012 7:42:48 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously though. 5 minutes for a down elevator is too fucking long. I have things to do places to go. Friday, September 28, 2012 2:22:20 PMTwitter for Android
These motherless elevators take fuckin 3 years Friday, September 28, 2012 2:10:24 PMTwitter for Android
God fucking damnit. It has to start raining while I'm waiting for this late assed train? It couldn't wait a few more minutes? Friday, September 28, 2012 8:06:04 AMTwitter for Android
I wanna go to baus...... this train home sux Wednesday, September 26, 2012 11:23:13 PMTwitter for Android
OK maybe an exaggeration Wednesday, September 26, 2012 9:18:06 PMTwitter for Android
Black Britney > Britney Wednesday, September 26, 2012 9:17:33 PMTwitter for Android
Let's pee on her Wednesday, September 26, 2012 9:12:10 PMTwitter for Android
Lol. This rat cunt motherfucker showed up Wednesday, September 26, 2012 9:08:32 PMTwitter for Android
Young Mark. Train beers are always fair game. Wednesday, September 26, 2012 7:51:20 PMTwitter for Android
Now Pearl Jam is on. Fuck man. I'm so hot. Also keep grabbing my leg its hot Wednesday, September 26, 2012 7:39:14 PMTwitter for Android
Alice in Chains on at the bar. Just got wet. Wednesday, September 26, 2012 7:31:24 PMTwitter for Android
They don't play one bad song here at Dakota Bar. Ass struttin' music Wednesday, September 26, 2012 6:50:26 PMTwitter for Android
I think it should be a Jewish holiday every day on the grounds that I can actually get a seat on my train. Wednesday, September 26, 2012 8:06:46 AMTwitter for Android
There is absolutely no way Jennifer Lawrence didn't enjoy getting Eiffel Towered by Gale and Peeta while filming this shit. Wednesday, September 26, 2012 1:17:41 AMTwitter for Android
Eh 12:15am, why not start watching The Hunger Games... Wednesday, September 26, 2012 12:17:16 AMTwitter for Android
Phil Hughes' lips: "fuckin shit" fucking useless motherfucker shit ass struggling team. Not going fuckin anywhere in the post season. Tuesday, September 25, 2012 10:32:13 PMTwitter for Android
Weekend was fun but knocked the shit outta me. I can't drink like I used to, you guys. Sunday, September 23, 2012 11:01:15 PMTwitter for Android
I think I'm still drunk Sunday, September 23, 2012 1:08:35 PMTwitter for Android
I woke up and I found out I was alive.... fuckin mess. Sunday, September 23, 2012 11:37:55 AMTwitter for Android
I'm a motherlesss. Mess Sunday, September 23, 2012 4:09:14 AMTwitter for Android
I think I win for drunkest, most on coherent txt ever Sunday, September 23, 2012 2:59:39 AMTwitter for Android
Wowwww. My last txt made 0 sense. Haaaa Sunday, September 23, 2012 2:58:10 AMTwitter for Android
Whoops. Lost on Boston. Lolz phone dead Sunday, September 23, 2012 2:57:24 AMTwitter for Android
Maks. Drum so drunk its notbebn funnnj Luke sooo drunk Sunday, September 23, 2012 1:30:25 AMTwitter for Android
I actually might be fuckin shitfaced biddies. Sunday, September 23, 2012 1:19:25 AMTwitter for Android
It tastes like I can't remember Sunday, September 23, 2012 12:44:18 AMTwitter for Android
Patriots fanny pack is absolutely killin it right now. I'm sending this to barstool http://t.co/vDGQdAi Saturday, September 22, 2012 11:18:42 PMTwitter for Android
Sugar Ray wants a pic of just me? Honored Saturday, September 22, 2012 11:15:16 PMTwitter for Android
Stole Dennis Drinkwater's seats at the Sox game earlier. Saturday, September 22, 2012 10:03:52 PMTwitter for Android
I'm so drunk. I'm a 20th century fox.... Saturday, September 22, 2012 2:06:32 AMTwitter for Android
He sousa. Both of your nipples and the tip of your dick... I'm gonna shove it down your throat right now. Saturday, September 22, 2012 1:40:34 AMTwitter for Android
OHHHHHH Simmons just went for the ass. Saturday, September 22, 2012 12:06:08 AMTwitter for Android
Bartender looked at me like I was a fuckin whack job. Friday, September 21, 2012 11:33:58 PMTwitter for Android
Baileys, peach schnapps, blue curacao, and grenadine. Weird passed gray looking delicious passed shot. Weirdo Friday, September 21, 2012 11:33:23 PMTwitter for Android
Anyone ever do an alien brain hemorrhage shot? Because @tomwcleary just made me ask the bartender to make one. What the fuck Friday, September 21, 2012 11:32:12 PMTwitter for Android
Oh shit. Ginuwine's pony is on Friday, September 21, 2012 9:48:47 PMTwitter for Android
F that. Have it already. @googlenexus: Android 4.1, Jelly Bean, has started rolling out to Galaxy Nexus devices on Verizon Wireless Friday, September 21, 2012 7:49:44 PMTwitter for Android
WiFi access points here are fantastic: http://t.co/HRDfUCW Friday, September 21, 2012 7:23:15 PMTwitter for Android
Sheek? Sheak? Shiek? Sheen? Shique? Chiq? OHHHHH Chic! #englishmajor #TC Friday, September 21, 2012 6:00:57 PMTwitter for Android
Too much shabby and not enough chic? Friday, September 21, 2012 5:58:13 PMTwitter for Android
But why is there no 4G on the New Haven line? Friday, September 21, 2012 2:11:13 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking Verizon Wireless. Its like they deliberately know I'm tethering and cut my speed Friday, September 21, 2012 1:50:51 PMTwitter for Android
That's what I call Blagner Thursday, September 20, 2012 1:49:35 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure Luna Lovegood was on the 4 this morning Thursday, September 20, 2012 8:58:46 AMTwitter for Android
Just get a fucking iPhone. For fucks sake Wednesday, September 19, 2012 7:26:44 PMTwitter for Android
Barry is straight up clownin' on this train this morning. Guy's a riot. Called some guy Ace and said he's only tiger in front of his wife Wednesday, September 19, 2012 8:13:02 AMTwitter for Android
DLK is bending over under the table fixing some wires and dat ass in dem jeans is in my face Tuesday, September 18, 2012 10:26:26 AMTwitter for Android
Open the train doors you fuckin cocktease. Its like pouring and the train is sitting here for 45 seconds waiting to let people on. MTA blows Tuesday, September 18, 2012 8:07:43 AMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Haven't seen it. thanks for sharing. I won't be around this weekend but maybe next year!
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Monday, September 17, 2012 9:16:56 PMTwitter for Android
My uncle is now telling stories about how aliens came down and helped George Washington win the Revolutionary War. Sunday, September 16, 2012 6:58:07 PMTwitter for Android
Question: If you can abbreviate crazy to cray... Can you abbreviate lazy to lay? Sunday, September 16, 2012 12:26:50 PMTwitter for Android
Sleeping all day and monitoring our servers. Derp Saturday, September 15, 2012 10:28:29 AMTwitter for Android
Eeeeeets a fridaeeeeee. I make a you sandweeeewch @tomwcleary @keith_connors Friday, September 14, 2012 7:50:16 AMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass to the train station. Friday, September 14, 2012 7:48:00 AMTwitter for Android
My tweets tonight are beyond ridiculous. This is the @portfolioso mess I knew from college. Been too tame lately. Must be them red heads... Friday, September 14, 2012 1:01:35 AMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass for two days straight... I deserve internets Thursday, September 13, 2012 11:13:13 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck Verizon wireless and the area between Crestwood and Scarsdale for no LTE (4G) or 3G. Give me Internet's shitpiles Thursday, September 13, 2012 11:12:41 PMTwitter for Android
See. Alinas not my type so I dont give a fuck. But she's got the potential to be hot and acts like 47. And has a mad face. Thursday, September 13, 2012 9:37:03 PMTwitter for Android
Can't play STP if I'm at the bar without me struttin that ass to the max. Duh you guys Thursday, September 13, 2012 9:25:49 PMTwitter for Android
Anyone ever read that rhald Dahl book Matilda? That's Alina. She acts like 31 looks old as fuck with that puss on her face. Fuckin. Be young Thursday, September 13, 2012 9:23:09 PMTwitter for Android
Alice in chains on at the bar. Where is my xtina for a duet? Also, struttin that ass and getting laid. Duh Thursday, September 13, 2012 9:17:28 PMTwitter for Android
Chunz is a dick Thursday, September 13, 2012 9:10:36 PMTwitter for Android
@tomwcleary lightning crashes!!!!! Thursday, September 13, 2012 9:10:15 PMTwitter for Android
LIGHTNING CRASHES is on at the bar. I'm getting laid Thursday, September 13, 2012 9:07:25 PMTwitter for Android
If the steel drums live version of Jane says comes on at the bar while I'm struttin that ass... I'm getting laid Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:53:50 PMTwitter for Android
Just gave @MalJNew a mystery shot of bud light and she legit accused me of pissing in a shot glass. @TaraCasanova recommended the shot Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:44:58 PMTwitter for Android
If pearl jam's black comes on at the bar... I'm getting laid obvi. Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:31:51 PMTwitter for Android
Leanin on a table. Ass out. Struttin' Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:18:05 PMTwitter for Android
Also. Dave Grohl hates glee. I'm gay for him. So fuck Glee. Stop tweeting about it. Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:14:02 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass to 90s rock Thursday, September 13, 2012 8:13:25 PMTwitter for Android
You can ring out pissfart's face right now and make some french fries with it Thursday, September 13, 2012 7:27:11 PMTwitter for Android
Young Joseph. Cherish your beverage. Thursday, September 13, 2012 7:18:47 PMTwitter for Android
TK's got the hots for @BadPointer Thursday, September 13, 2012 7:18:03 PMTwitter for Android
Lol. TK showed up. Someone spit beer in her face and laugh Thursday, September 13, 2012 7:00:54 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew stop smoking jokeface Thursday, September 13, 2012 6:57:24 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass around the table. Duh Thursday, September 13, 2012 6:47:20 PMTwitter for Android
No seats left for me at the bar because I have to model my perfect ass, you guys. dat ass. Thursday, September 13, 2012 6:46:47 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass to Dakota Bar Thursday, September 13, 2012 6:33:03 PMTwitter for Android
Part 2 of struttin that ass begins now Thursday, September 13, 2012 7:57:13 AMTwitter for Android
Welp. Between me walking in on Mikey pissing and Chunz calling me a Jew... I don't know, you guys. Wednesday, September 12, 2012 10:06:03 PMTwitter for Android
Welp. Broke a class. Swear to God that never happens. Wednesday, September 12, 2012 9:48:37 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew enough Wednesday, September 12, 2012 9:40:13 PMTwitter for Android
Re: my previous tweet and Chunz... the over. Hahaha Wednesday, September 12, 2012 9:22:03 PMTwitter for Android
Struttin that ass for Gina Marie and Anita Wednesday, September 12, 2012 8:49:06 PMTwitter for Android
Wake up in the morning feelin like Tom Cleary @tomwcleary Wednesday, September 12, 2012 8:46:46 PMTwitter for Android
Servers keep crashin. The fuck Wednesday, September 12, 2012 8:24:17 PMTwitter for Android
Broke the seal... haaa Wednesday, September 12, 2012 8:20:31 PMTwitter for Android