9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Just ripped ass so loudly accidentally on this train. Whoopsie Wednesday, May 09, 2012 12:33:15 AMTwitter for Android
Oh. And we have a private bar. Enjoyyyyy Tuesday, May 08, 2012 11:37:27 PMTwitter for Android
Niraj Is a bad added influence Tuesday, May 08, 2012 11:36:23 PMTwitter for Android
This just scared the shit out of me. http://t.co/fpiuE42 Monday, May 07, 2012 11:02:40 AMTwitter for Android
Rhianna came on in Dunkins and it reminded me of the office shitshow. Sunday, May 06, 2012 4:37:16 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd cum play Sunday, May 06, 2012 3:01:36 AMTwitter for Android
Never have I ever pissed in a cup on the train.. ... oh wait..... Sunday, May 06, 2012 2:33:13 AMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella lol. You know what u do when I'm third wheel out? I find a hottie and bang and tell them nuggs who didn't invite me to enjoy
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Sunday, May 06, 2012 2:16:25 AMTwitter for Android
Fioretti was like "fuck you and your tweet off" touche. Mad respect Saturday, May 05, 2012 11:17:37 PMTwitter for Android
"Yo you gotta kill that belly on you motherfucker" Saturday, May 05, 2012 11:09:31 PMTwitter for Android
@Frankalankster and @portfolioso in the same bar? We're gonna have a tweet off. Saturday, May 05, 2012 11:02:26 PMTwitter for Android
My. Head.... Saturday, May 05, 2012 8:46:48 AMTwitter for Android
Who was that. And why was she such a cray? Saturday, May 05, 2012 2:35:03 AMTwitter for Android
I mean.... if some batshit crazy wants to make out with me on the train, i won't object. Saturday, May 05, 2012 2:34:35 AMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella stop being a mother fuckin pansy. If a married dude is staring at your tits then tell the dude ur awesome fuck off and enjoy
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Friday, May 04, 2012 10:13:58 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd blow me slut
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Friday, May 04, 2012 10:11:47 PMTwitter for Android
I didn't even start drinking yet, so this is a sober tweet but... I want to bang the new sales girl. So badly. Friday, May 04, 2012 5:09:12 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew @kelgoe @TaraCasanova Feliz Cuatro de Mayo.
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Friday, May 04, 2012 8:04:58 AMTwitter for Android
Welp, looks like Dave Robertson is my new closer... I always had a gay for that guy Friday, May 04, 2012 12:11:27 AMTwitter for Android
Ah Jesus Christ. I honestly don't think we'll ever see Mo pitch again Friday, May 04, 2012 12:10:50 AMTwitter for Android
My twitter. Cray. I'm a cray. Thursday, May 03, 2012 8:05:00 AMTwitter for Android
This British assed train conductor is also the conductor on the 8am train. Wtf. Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:13:36 AMTwitter for Android
Yes, I re-tweeted myself because I'm a cocky, arrogant prick. Don't like it? Blow me. Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:12:31 AMTwitter for Android
RT @portfolioso unlike other jokers I hear about, whiskey dick does not happen to me bc I'm a mother fuckin boss Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:11:16 AMTwitter for Android
@ShavingFoams no kidding. I went to college once. I was always on the failure side of drunk.
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:07:35 AMTwitter for Android
@ShavingFoams unlike other jokers I hear about, whiskey dick does not happen to me bc I'm a mother fuckin boss.
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:05:53 AMTwitter for Android
That time you're obsessed with the bartender and you know she looks innocent but really isnt/a freak but she can't be single bc she's so hot Thursday, May 03, 2012 12:01:31 AMTwitter for Android
Calling myself out on the tweet earlier where I used the wrong you're. Blame the fact that I had to piss and auto correct. Wednesday, May 02, 2012 11:56:12 PMTwitter for Android
RT @Novellabella "Nobody messes with Adam We" Wednesday, May 02, 2012 10:19:19 PMTwitter for Android
RT @__JLu: to this #fairfield girl, congrats on your 15 minutes of fame! #clamjam http://t.co/bDaj3cyj Wednesday, May 02, 2012 10:18:07 PMTwitter for Android
@Nettiz1 how can you forget? Me and @MalJNew had a competition on who'd grab her tits first.
In reply to @Nettiz1's tweet
Wednesday, May 02, 2012 10:17:48 PMTwitter for Android
@Nettiz1 come on. We discussed this before
In reply to @Nettiz1's tweet
Wednesday, May 02, 2012 9:51:54 PMTwitter for Android
Actually, I dint need any dirt. I'm too awesome. Wednesday, May 02, 2012 9:31:26 PMTwitter for Android
@Nettiz1 I want the dirt on the redhead
In reply to @Nettiz1's tweet
Wednesday, May 02, 2012 9:30:15 PMTwitter for Android
@Nettiz1 yeah. I'm over it. Its fine.
In reply to @Nettiz1's tweet
Wednesday, May 02, 2012 9:11:47 PMTwitter for Android
Obsessed... Wednesday, May 02, 2012 9:10:09 PMTwitter for Android
Let him take his shot? I wasn't anywhere near you, asshole. Fuck is this, professional pool? Your a a bar you dick. Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:56:50 PMTwitter for Android
@Onethirdof3x5 Never as bad as Preakness... Never as bad, homeskillet
In reply to @Onethirdof3x5's tweet
Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:44:07 PMTwitter for Android
That time you have to piss so badly and a dude gets up from a table as you're walking to the bathroom and gets ahead of you... bs Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:04:49 PMTwitter for Android
I double dare people to take me seriously Friday! Wednesday, May 02, 2012 7:54:27 PMTwitter for Android
So legit. Yankees. Rangers. My redheaded bartender is here. Ima steal her. Only if she agrees though. Wednesday, May 02, 2012 7:47:00 PMTwitter for Android
we've got a winner on this train! Jesus! Wednesday, May 02, 2012 8:10:46 AMTwitter for Android
If I don't see one more Kate Upton video in my newsfeed, I just might vom Tuesday, May 01, 2012 11:45:35 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella You're delusional. Jeter looks like an old bag. Doesn't age my ass... He was a child in the 90s
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Monday, April 30, 2012 8:48:04 PMTwitter for Android
Also, happy Monday. Monday, April 30, 2012 8:01:37 AMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure Alexey sabotaged the build server before passing it off to me and then said enjoy. Monday, April 30, 2012 8:01:08 AMTwitter for Android
If I get another fuckin programmer telling me that their shit isn't building, I'm going to shake a bitch. I know its busted. Monday, April 30, 2012 7:59:51 AMTwitter for Android
Welp, Casino is on Encore at 5PM. I know what I'm doing. One of my all time favs. De Niro, Joe Pesce... Scorsese film. Unreal. Sunday, April 29, 2012 4:30:36 PMTwitter for Android
Such a man crush on Dave Robertson. Sunday, April 29, 2012 4:20:57 PMTwitter for Android
Today is a lounging in the sun type of day Saturday, April 28, 2012 12:08:47 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: I'm outta here. Weekend don't start 'til you flip work the bird and pull outta the parkin' lot on Friday. Math lesson: My ... Friday, April 27, 2012 8:51:24 PMTwitter for Android
This waitress is like... unreal. You don't even understand. Friday, April 27, 2012 1:56:54 PMTwitter for Android
well I take back my complaints, bc our app was the fastest tested and it was a cool web talk. Thursday, April 26, 2012 11:09:22 PMTwitter for Android
The get the fuck off my team: Phil Hughes edition... fuckin guys going to shit quicker than Joba. Thursday, April 26, 2012 12:50:49 AMTwitter for Android
I swear this dude is my favorite. If I wasn't into women, I might have had to go gay. Wednesday, April 25, 2012 8:49:02 PMTwitter for Android
I can't take this meeting seriously on the grounds that I would hook up with everyone here. Don't tell HR, people who follow me on here.... Wednesday, April 25, 2012 5:09:28 PMTwitter for Android
Oh great. These fuckin occupy wall St hippies made it to Union Square Wednesday, April 25, 2012 2:52:44 PMTwitter for Android
Wagner, stop biting your lip. Its driving me insane. It might make me do something that'll get me fired. Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:45:42 AMTwitter for Android
I know the fuckin guy 35 years, I'm gonna whack him for you? Wednesday, April 25, 2012 12:34:05 AMTwitter for Android
Welp, looks like I confused Vietnamese and Thai. My b. Corrected myself before getting called out, like a boss. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 8:00:59 PMTwitter for Android
This loud Asian screaming away on her phone is probably the sole reason why they invented quiet cars on this train. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 7:18:10 PMTwitter for Android
Would be nice if the cocksucker next to me didn't have the fuckin plague. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 8:11:17 AMTwitter for Android
Although as cold as it is, this ones smokin. Dibs. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 8:06:57 AMTwitter for Android
Fahkin cold this morning. Tuesday, April 24, 2012 8:00:30 AMTwitter for Android
@L8to89 kind of. Asshole.
In reply to @L8to89's tweet
Monday, April 23, 2012 8:45:40 PMTwitter for Android
The piece of shit buggy Galaxy Nexus radio picks up signal just about as well as I picked up chicks in high school. Monday, April 23, 2012 8:23:39 PMTwitter for Android
So Aubrey... Are those things real? Sunday, April 22, 2012 10:31:25 PMTwitter for Android
Aubrey is an absolute moron on the celebrity apprentice. That being said, she's got some rack. Sunday, April 22, 2012 10:01:41 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella bang bang bang. It'll get rid of that in two seconds. Hhh
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Sunday, April 22, 2012 7:12:22 PMTwitter for Android
"She wasn't gonna clean his ass for nothing..." Sunday, April 22, 2012 6:54:29 PMTwitter for Android
RT @Colithika: pirates of dark water is amazing Sunday, April 22, 2012 6:01:36 PMTwitter for Android
#joecefolitweets ain't got shit on #frankfiorettitweets Sunday, April 22, 2012 11:27:07 AMTwitter for Android
This is some bullshit #NYR Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:50:32 PMTwitter for Android
These beers are going down way too slow you guys Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:33:26 PMTwitter for Android
@kellyomealia by bad... you mean completely awesome, right.
In reply to @kellyomealia's tweet
Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:29:38 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella call the waaaambulance! Wahh no 4 or 5 trains!
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:24:25 PMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 @kellyomealia come on, you guys. I mean I know my tweets are ridiculous, but are they really that ridiculous? Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:08:05 PMTwitter for Android
Is this chick fat or preggo? Can't tell. My judgment is off tonight. Saturday, April 21, 2012 9:00:12 PMTwitter for Android
Debating if this chick is a lesbian or not. I mean. She's with a chick who's a dude, but shes cute and doesn't seem like one. Saturday, April 21, 2012 8:15:19 PMTwitter for Android
If sean isn't at hamachi, I'll be pissed Saturday, April 21, 2012 6:35:09 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio is out drinking me right now. The fuck... Saturday, April 21, 2012 5:47:23 PMTwitter for Android
@Colithika how about ya stop spamming my twitter feed with Tumblr photos? Saturday, April 21, 2012 2:47:40 PMTwitter for Android
The local assed train ... Saturday, April 21, 2012 2:26:49 AMTwitter for Android
Derick is Brooklyn and ghetto and legit. Friday, April 20, 2012 9:51:52 PMTwitter for Android
@ShavingFoams @Novellabella TOUCHE
In reply to @ShavingFoams's tweet
Friday, April 20, 2012 1:52:29 AMTwitter for Android
The smokes are out in full force tonight. Out of control Thursday, April 19, 2012 10:52:40 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd: blow me. @ky9: yeah... makes sense. I get where you're coming from Thursday, April 19, 2012 10:24:21 PMTwitter for Android
The 90s music at this bar... im obsessed. that's it. I'm giving up on life and becoming an alcoholic here Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:16:18 PMTwitter for Android
This might actually be animal cruelty, which isn't cool. But hey. .. I mean.. dogs gotta go wild sometimes too, ya know? Thursday, April 19, 2012 8:30:03 PMTwitter for Android
This doggie at the bar is shitfaced right now. Dudes keep buying him shots. Thursday, April 19, 2012 8:29:11 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously, who would eat bar peanuts. People like spit in their hands, sneeze, wipe their asses. Then grab some. Nast Thursday, April 19, 2012 8:13:28 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu remember when @kevinrose was awesome with the dark tip on the screen savers? Then he turned into an apple fan boy working for google
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, April 18, 2012 3:32:58 PMTwitter for Android
Give this fucking kid an ambien Tuesday, April 17, 2012 7:01:20 PMTwitter for Android
See this is why I can't have kids. I'd be like. "Speak English ya little mother fucker. Cut this babble shit out you're like 4" Tuesday, April 17, 2012 6:59:44 PMTwitter for Android
I'm going to murder this child Tuesday, April 17, 2012 6:58:15 PMTwitter for Android
I'm trying to sleep on this train and this little shit kid is standing up on the seat in front of me, yelling at things out the window Tuesday, April 17, 2012 6:48:51 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu @GadsdenMarc Believe it or not, Joomla is a lot worse...
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, April 16, 2012 11:47:59 PMTwitter for Android
This Phil's Steaks girl is ridiculous right now. Monday, April 16, 2012 1:38:28 PMTwitter for Android
All these cocksuckers need to go back on vacation. No seats on this bitch ass train. Monday, April 16, 2012 8:09:14 AMTwitter for Android
I can draw pimp assed unicorns: http://t.co/ZLPh0oS Monday, April 16, 2012 1:36:27 AMTwitter for Android