9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Pork slap? That's a real beer? For real? Saturday, March 10, 2012 11:59:12 PMTwitter for Android
Wait a minute...there's no such thing as bisexual sexually frustrated twins...m Saturday, March 10, 2012 9:14:58 PMTwitter for Android
Omg... this puppy lurves meeeeee Saturday, March 10, 2012 7:34:45 PMTwitter for Android
THERE'S A PUPPY HERE. I WANT HER. Saturday, March 10, 2012 7:13:34 PMTwitter for Android
I don't think you understand... Saturday, March 10, 2012 6:44:06 PMTwitter for Android
Actually fuck that... I can get her myself. Or... I'm so awesome she'll just come to me. Saturday, March 10, 2012 6:35:40 PMTwitter for Android
Bring me this redhead! Saturday, March 10, 2012 6:35:02 PMTwitter for Android
I was on the train talking about my drunk debauchery on twitter and was offered a social media job. Saturday, March 10, 2012 3:32:04 PMTwitter for Android
Derick:" WEST COAST RAP IS ASS" Friday, March 09, 2012 8:17:48 PMTwitter for Android
Change of plans... Elise's ass Friday, March 09, 2012 7:42:33 PMTwitter for Android
Haha auto correct.... Duane Reade.. and 'Nums... not nuns Friday, March 09, 2012 7:32:41 PMTwitter for Android
So disappointed that the Duane Reader doesn't have refrigerated' Nuns, you guys Friday, March 09, 2012 7:31:15 PMTwitter for Android
RT @yelling_bird: THESE DICKS WON'T SUCK THEMSELV- OH GOD THEY'RE SUCKING THEMSELVES Friday, March 09, 2012 9:02:37 AMTwitter for Android
Bunch of smokes on this earlier train Friday, March 09, 2012 7:35:33 AMTwitter for Android
Look at this minx Thursday, March 08, 2012 8:30:39 PMTwitter for Android
is HBO fuckin retarded? Who gives a fuck about the McCain/Palin election?. No one wants to watch this shit. http://t.co/UPmassp Wednesday, March 07, 2012 11:49:52 PMTwitter for Android
Like if I could do anything right now, I'd be broin' out, playing cards and ripping ass. Then going to the racetrack the next day Wednesday, March 07, 2012 11:03:17 PMTwitter for Android
I'd kill to go upstate with the mover right now. When that guy goes, I'm gonna be a fucking mess and three quarters. Wednesday, March 07, 2012 11:02:02 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. Haven't been to barfly in a while. Forgot how obsessed I was with this bartender. Wednesday, March 07, 2012 10:04:22 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: If you are still fascinate by NoSQL in 2012 you must of be brogrammer. Wednesday, March 07, 2012 9:17:32 PMTwitter for Android
I'm obsessed with Molly. Wednesday, March 07, 2012 8:38:59 PMTwitter for Android
Let's do G1 Dot porn! Wednesday, March 07, 2012 8:05:17 PMTwitter for Android
Don't go to beer with a bed Wednesday, March 07, 2012 7:01:38 PMTwitter for Android
Sooooo you mean to tell me that Goldsmith isn't allowed to drink this? http://t.co/iY4FQam Tuesday, March 06, 2012 2:09:16 PMTwitter for Android
Alexey! Can you let me write the fucking batch file? Jeeeez. I can do it quicker. Tuesday, March 06, 2012 9:31:14 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking A, Verizon. Release the galaxy nexus update. I never have internet you shits Tuesday, March 06, 2012 8:11:28 AMTwitter for Android
Absolutely no clue how this happened... Jesus http://t.co/83K8eQL Tuesday, March 06, 2012 1:46:54 AMTwitter for Android
This is a bunch of bullshit... Come on, Stags! #maachoops Monday, March 05, 2012 8:39:47 PMTwitter for Android
I'm convinced that @yelling_bird is Jimmy Patsos Monday, March 05, 2012 8:34:56 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure this train car has a flat tire. It's like I'm sitting on top of a jackhammer. Monday, March 05, 2012 8:15:24 AMTwitter for Android
The mover: "Like the saying goes, 'shit and corruption.' Well, I went upstairs... No shit, but corruption!" Sunday, March 04, 2012 10:30:53 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck, I need to lay off the twitter API. I'm almost rate limited. Sunday, March 04, 2012 5:33:45 PMTwitter for Android
Woooooo! Go Stags! Sucks I couldn't make it to massachusetts this year! Sunday, March 04, 2012 4:16:20 PMTwitter for Android
Iona's cheerleaders are hideous. Sunday, March 04, 2012 3:22:54 PMTwitter for Android
It worked! Sunday, March 04, 2012 12:49:48 PMTwitter for Android
Then they wonder why I hit the bottle... Saturday, March 03, 2012 12:42:23 AMTwitter for Android
Can't do a fuckin thing anymore... there is no freedom. Saturday, March 03, 2012 12:39:08 AMTwitter for Android
Just caught ya looking, sweetie Saturday, March 03, 2012 12:13:53 AMTwitter for Android
These old men really know how to play guitar Friday, March 02, 2012 8:34:53 PMTwitter for Android
I think I'm still drunk Friday, March 02, 2012 8:04:50 AMTwitter for Android
I need to txt/talk to my sister but she's a Nancy and won't answer/is sleeping/u feel bad bothering her. Tomorrow I guess. Woof. :'( Friday, March 02, 2012 2:12:22 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Headin' to Cold One City, USA. Nothin' wrong with a Thirstday celebraish, you guys. Friday, March 02, 2012 2:03:09 AMTwitter for Android
When you show up at a bar and 8 ppl scream your name and one of their friends doesn't know you.... instant awesome / popular status Friday, March 02, 2012 2:01:48 AMTwitter for Android
Wait a sec... fucking Obama is in the city? Fuck off. I want to go to the bar and the cops have the shit barricaded off Thursday, March 01, 2012 8:03:48 PMTwitter for Android
I should couldered him! Thursday, March 01, 2012 7:42:21 PMTwitter for Android
Metro North needs to get rid of all these bullshit Bronx stops like Williams Bridge and Tremont. Only Fordham is valid. F local trains Wednesday, February 29, 2012 8:56:27 PMTwitter for Android
Cute puppy though Sunday, February 26, 2012 11:38:19 PMTwitter for Android
Bunch of bullshit! A fucking french black and white silent film is still relevant in 2012? Never even heard of it. Sunday, February 26, 2012 11:37:29 PMTwitter for Android
Angelina Jolie is an anorexic skeleton face. I'm pretty sure my dick is wider than her left arm Sunday, February 26, 2012 10:28:28 PMTwitter for Android
This is the best couch and blanket combo ever. I feel like I'm melting into it. Sunday, February 26, 2012 9:17:52 PMTwitter for Android
@Frankalankster @VtotheFlo Bull You can't tease like that without telling the story. Explain the resolution (this is why I don't make them)
In reply to @Frankalankster's tweet
Sunday, February 26, 2012 12:18:04 AMTwitter for Android
"Name a NY Knick" "Idk... Linning!" Friday, February 24, 2012 8:26:14 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys. Thursday, February 23, 2012 8:35:42 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 fuck joba. That dude sucks. Wasted his career. Prime candidate for the New York Mets
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Thursday, February 23, 2012 8:35:14 PMTwitter for Android
@Nettiz1 I wasn't impressed by bud light platinum. Also are you at the watering hole tomorrow until 7?
In reply to @Nettiz1's tweet
Wednesday, February 22, 2012 7:55:38 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously, it has no idea how to switch between 3G and 4G and chomps on cock. Update it NOW. Wednesday, February 22, 2012 8:12:55 AMTwitter for Android
Would be nice if this Galaxy Nexus actually decided to pick up internet for once. Verizon had some nerve releasing this buggy radio Wednesday, February 22, 2012 8:11:35 AMTwitter for Android
Wanna lower the heat on this fucking train? Jesus Christ. Tuesday, February 21, 2012 6:58:22 PMTwitter for Android
My twitter is out of control. Saturday, February 18, 2012 10:50:37 PMTwitter for Android
NO WONDER Saturday, February 18, 2012 8:44:01 PMTwitter for Android
Learned some things today. Hhhhhhhhhhh Saturday, February 18, 2012 8:05:57 PMTwitter for Android
But shed like it Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:22:28 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. I hope she doesn't follow me on twitter and can see my tweets. I mean if she can, fuck it but it would be 10% more embarrassing. Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:22:11 PMTwitter for Android
Lennon: take that fucking checkered bullshit shirt off and show us your goods. Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:19:12 PMTwitter for Android
100% unreliable. 100% Bum. Saturday, February 18, 2012 6:17:00 PMTwitter for Android
Killing in the name of! Saturday, February 18, 2012 5:48:29 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus christ. Lennon is killing me right now. I mean rebound with me. Its fine Saturday, February 18, 2012 4:27:28 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd PS. Love youuuuu Saturday, February 18, 2012 4:14:32 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd I mean... you can suck it with tour comments. If not someone else will.
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Saturday, February 18, 2012 4:14:09 PMTwitter for Android
I think I can't party with coworkers anymore or else I'll def get fired. Shit. Saturday, February 18, 2012 4:12:27 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. The gays made mollys hair like... I'm into her so hard. PS this violates the employee handbook so its off the record. Saturday, February 18, 2012 4:10:11 PMTwitter for Android
I'm so wet right now.... in a drink spilled on kind of way. Not in a... How I get the ladies way Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:50:45 PMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd nah fuck that. That's a pussy assed phone. The galaxy nexus is better
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:24:29 PMTwitter for Android
Now he's doing mollys hair. Threesome? Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:13:30 PMTwitter for Android
These gays know their shit. I mean. Ryan did Lennon's hair and now shes like so bangable. Not that she wasn't before. Hhh Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:12:52 PMTwitter for Android
We don't care that we're out numbered Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:06:43 PMTwitter for Android
iPhone- 6. Galaxy Nexus- 2. Me and allison are killing it. Fuck apple. Saturday, February 18, 2012 3:06:02 PMTwitter for Android
I'm jealous of Allison's limited edition Galaxy Nexus battery cover bc she works at Google. I have the bitch ass Verizon cover Saturday, February 18, 2012 1:05:22 PMTwitter for Android
Yous want an apple pie? "@Colithika: Delicious apple pies - Vodka, apple juice, cinnamon Amazing http://t.co/aghpCFd" Saturday, February 18, 2012 10:34:38 AMTwitter for Android
My mom just asked me what cameltoe was. Hhhhhhhhggg Thursday, February 16, 2012 11:27:00 PMTwitter for Android
Kate Upton can teach me finger mechanics any day if the week and twice on Sundays: http://t.co/2pCZDxY Thursday, February 16, 2012 10:01:12 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... it wouldn't be terrible if Romney, gingrich and santorum were all assassinated.... *FBI peeps - this is a joke Thursday, February 16, 2012 9:51:21 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: SI Swimsuit Ish came today. Can almost see that Kate Upton babe's downstairs situaish on the cover. Racy, but you can tell ... Thursday, February 16, 2012 9:42:55 PMTwitter for Android
*Bud lite... sheeeeeit its not a blunt, you guys. Thursday, February 16, 2012 8:23:51 PMTwitter for Android
I think I'm gonna go for some more bud lights, you guys. Its the @DadBoner of beers. Thursday, February 16, 2012 8:22:49 PMTwitter for Android
Vintage footage. This is gem central station Wednesday, February 15, 2012 7:10:34 PMTwitter for Android
Wish I got that shit on video. I can't stop smiling Wednesday, February 15, 2012 6:55:32 PMTwitter for Android
Bahahaha. This bros got a massage therapy licence in Puerto Rico, has great hands and has been giving massages since 12. Quote of the month! Wednesday, February 15, 2012 6:55:17 PMTwitter for Android
Would be nice if the fucking 5 train didn't go fucking 3 mph and stop 8 times between stations making me miss my train. Tuesday, February 14, 2012 6:46:26 PMTwitter for Android
Dear Verizon. Update the software on the Galaxy Nexus on the grounds that its too fucking buggy. Love, Joe. Tuesday, February 14, 2012 8:09:03 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Wearin' my red silk shirt tomorrow. So plush. Mad swag. It's got a couple stains, but you can hardly see 'em. Can't get ri ... Monday, February 13, 2012 11:24:40 PMTwitter for Android
Wait. Someone explain to me the difference between record of the year and album of the year. @dannyrob88 Sunday, February 12, 2012 11:19:22 PMTwitter for Android
I want to get hammered and grind a over these LA biddies to Foo Fighters and Deadmaus. SHIT Sunday, February 12, 2012 10:58:38 PMTwitter for Android
@tomwcleary @Onethirdof3x5 need something corrected on @mirrorfairfield's shitty ass website? That can be arranged.
In reply to @tomwcleary's tweet
Sunday, February 12, 2012 10:02:13 PMTwitter for Android
Sorry Dave, after Katy Perry showed up, I think I'm into her instead. But we're still bros, right? Sunday, February 12, 2012 9:59:25 PMTwitter for Android
And to think, the weak assed FUSA politicians and feeble budget couldn't get T Swift to Fairfield. Woof. Sunday, February 12, 2012 9:45:46 PMTwitter for Android
OMG I have a man crush on Dave Grohl Sunday, February 12, 2012 8:48:08 PMTwitter for Android
Girl in Chevy commercial: remove that towel and serenade me. Sunday, February 12, 2012 8:43:06 PMTwitter for Android
What's the over/under Jason Aldean stuffed Kelly Clarkson backstage? Sunday, February 12, 2012 8:41:00 PMTwitter for Android
Bruce is so Jersey right now Sunday, February 12, 2012 8:04:25 PMTwitter for Android