9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Yeah... the sliders came right out of his ass in the bathroom... -Derick Friday, January 13, 2012 10:13:30 PMTwitter for Android
Wait. Who the fuck paid for the last bar Friday, January 13, 2012 10:03:28 PMTwitter for Android
I'm a very cross functional employee in that I drink with every different department Friday, January 13, 2012 1:38:43 PMTwitter for Android
IT'S SNOWING IN THE NYC! Friday, January 13, 2012 1:29:11 PMTwitter for Android
Mmmmm. Blueberry pie. I am the fattest Wednesday, January 11, 2012 10:42:19 PMTwitter for Android
Ah for fucks sake... words with friends letters are: U E I U E I U... the fuck am I supposed to do with that shit Tuesday, January 10, 2012 1:31:25 AMTwitter for Android
Mob wives... thus show is a fuckin gem! Monday, January 09, 2012 11:52:27 PMTwitter for Android
OMG Big Ange on Mob Wives is nastier than Goldsmith Monday, January 09, 2012 11:36:33 PMTwitter for Android
Just had a meeting with the guys over at Vidyo. Their solution powers Google video chat and G+ hangouts. So cool! Monday, January 09, 2012 1:17:36 PMTwitter for Android
Told my mom to press F11 to exit full screen. She started typing F 1 1 and asked why it didn't work. #fail Sunday, January 08, 2012 9:43:56 PMTwitter for Android
@VtotheFlo 1) my freshmen mentees wished they could bang me and 2) you're not in college anymore so stop retweeting that shit 80 times :-)
In reply to @VtotheFlo's tweet
Sunday, January 08, 2012 12:10:32 AMTwitter for Android
TIGERS! This is legit Saturday, January 07, 2012 6:26:11 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah buddy Saturday, January 07, 2012 6:22:18 PMTwitter for Android
You two ladies need to make out immediately. Saturday, January 07, 2012 6:18:25 PMTwitter for Android
Its like spring outside. I'm out in w beater and boxers. Look like a crazy person to the neighbors probably Saturday, January 07, 2012 12:55:28 PMTwitter for Android
My mom is forcing me to watch video of a baby I don't know eating solid food. Look at all the fucks I don't give Saturday, January 07, 2012 11:13:23 AMTwitter for Android
Out with the girls drankin the girly dranks Friday, January 06, 2012 10:22:21 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Sam did it
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Friday, January 06, 2012 7:53:26 PMTwitter for Android
RT @michellemm22: my life http://t.co/QyEEO8cX Thursday, January 05, 2012 9:46:48 PMTwitter for Android
heading downtown to the financial district to check out the new area. We're moving soon Thursday, January 05, 2012 3:16:38 PMTwitter for Android
It would be nice if this galaxy fuckin bug ridden nexus picked up 3G OR 4G for fuckin once... takes like 20 minutes to connect Wednesday, January 04, 2012 7:56:35 PMTwitter for Android
Holy shit its cold in NY Tuesday, January 03, 2012 9:37:56 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella PBR? Really? Such a hipster
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Tuesday, January 03, 2012 9:13:36 PMTwitter for Android
@SonicBlur23 fuckin mess
In reply to @SonicBlur23's tweet
Tuesday, January 03, 2012 3:04:09 AMTwitter for Android
I did NOT jack off in your sister's room! Tuesday, January 03, 2012 2:53:43 AMTwitter for Android
Ah fuck. Gotta hit the gym Tuesday, January 03, 2012 2:10:22 AMTwitter for Android
The amount of beer you're drinking you can spit out on people and they won't even get fuckin get wet. Pussy Tuesday, January 03, 2012 1:58:26 AMTwitter for Android
If I brought my kid to preschool and saw him as the teacher.... Fuhgheddaboudit" Dan's G talking about Danny. Tuesday, January 03, 2012 1:36:41 AMTwitter for Android
Dan's dad: "they don't want you to eat those fuckin crackers. After a while you'll just say fuck it" Tuesday, January 03, 2012 1:11:13 AMTwitter for Android
John on Danny's complicated drinking game: "I've written [.NET] code that's less complicated" Tuesday, January 03, 2012 12:42:34 AMTwitter for Android
Cool look bro... http://t.co/eNYql9o Tuesday, January 03, 2012 12:04:57 AMTwitter for Android
@Colithika 's parents are fuckin Gs. My future wife's parents need to be that cool. Or maybe I'll just marry Dan. We got the bromance going. Monday, January 02, 2012 11:55:38 PMTwitter for Android
*morons. Not microns. It auto corrected to the size of their brains Monday, January 02, 2012 9:17:09 PMTwitter for Android
@michellemm22 @__JLu they changed twitters bc they're microns and didn't know how to reset a password so they made a new one. Disaster.
In reply to @michellemm22's tweet
Monday, January 02, 2012 9:16:12 PMTwitter for Android
@michellemm22 nah. I'm in the boonies in Arizona now. They knew since Christmas and never got it working.
In reply to @michellemm22's tweet
Monday, January 02, 2012 9:14:46 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu @michellemm22 I looked into it for them. It's a hosting issue. I gave them the info to file a ticket. No one does shit at that place
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, January 02, 2012 9:13:41 PMTwitter for Android
@michellemm22 what am I supposed to do about it. @mirrorfairfield staff are all a bunch of fuck ups
In reply to @michellemm22's tweet
Monday, January 02, 2012 9:10:11 PMTwitter for Android
John: "By the way, this is open range so if you hear a gunshot, sink a little in your seat" Monday, January 02, 2012 8:47:43 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella stalkers eat meat...
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Monday, January 02, 2012 7:09:35 PMTwitter for Android
Lookout points are for pussies. Fences are for lamers. I live on the edge, bastards http://t.co/3V4dhFD Monday, January 02, 2012 5:18:20 PMTwitter for Android
481 miles to L.A. Let's go! (j/k) Monday, January 02, 2012 2:50:26 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously. If the speed limit is 75, don't fucking drive in the left lane if you are going any less than 80 Monday, January 02, 2012 2:10:39 PMTwitter for Android
"A shit's more important than doing your hair. Whatddaya want the guy to shit his pants?" Monday, January 02, 2012 12:01:16 PMTwitter for Android
"Is there a bar at the terminal? Because.... Can I go?" Monday, January 02, 2012 10:52:19 AMTwitter for Android
@nyJULZmd drink and smoke yourself silly
In reply to @nyJULZmd's tweet
Sunday, January 01, 2012 4:56:13 PMTwitter for Android
If I day drink a little bit, then go to Sonic, that shits gonna taste boss. Sunday, January 01, 2012 4:55:41 PMTwitter for Android
No info for the D.E.A Sunday, January 01, 2012 2:03:14 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito I said that?
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Sunday, January 01, 2012 5:16:49 AMTwitter for Android
He flies so high he swoops so low he knows exactly which way he's gonna go. Sunday, January 01, 2012 4:36:45 AMTwitter for Android
"Girls only get cameltoe so they don't know" you guys are outside of your minds Sunday, January 01, 2012 4:23:46 AMTwitter for Android
I think we should all do Airborne and Goose tomorrow for good health on the flight back http://t.co/KpR4uVh Sunday, January 01, 2012 4:04:15 AMTwitter for Android
John: "look how it says sip responsibly. Imagine if it said pound responsibly? That should be the label on like jager" Sunday, January 01, 2012 3:51:42 AMTwitter for Android
First you give me a raise, then you blow me, then I'll fuck your wife. Sunday, January 01, 2012 3:26:55 AMTwitter for Android
I highly recommend taking part in 60s activities and listening to Legend of a Mind. Sunday, January 01, 2012 3:03:46 AMTwitter for Android
"His mother was a melf" Sunday, January 01, 2012 2:17:03 AMTwitter for Android
Happy New Year to all my East Coast players. I still have 2 hours Sunday, January 01, 2012 12:04:12 AMTwitter for Android
Blackberry should just give it up and stop advertising. Saturday, December 31, 2011 11:37:08 PMTwitter for Android
I can't think of a better way to bring in the new year than drinking out of a shot glass that has an ass and titties Saturday, December 31, 2011 11:30:21 PMTwitter for Android
Might as well put my money in a fuckin paper shreader Saturday, December 31, 2011 9:12:16 PMTwitter for Android
Inconsistent prick. I suck at bowling so badly Saturday, December 31, 2011 8:28:27 PMTwitter for Android
No reintegration without representation! Saturday, December 31, 2011 1:47:11 AMTwitter for Android
RT @GadsdenMarc: The Fight Has Just Begun! http://t.co/4aOMPkRA Friday, December 30, 2011 10:12:03 PMTwitter for Android
"That movie with the black people and the saran wrap" Friday, December 30, 2011 9:15:13 PMTwitter for Android
My Seven Dwarves http://t.co/OD9s9Ft Friday, December 30, 2011 5:46:50 PMTwitter for Android
Wow... The sloppiest..... Friday, December 30, 2011 9:56:04 AMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella Sony do it without looking in his eyes though or else it's seven yrs of bad sex :-) Friday, December 30, 2011 2:16:08 AMTwitter for Android
@mich_amore quiet. Be happy instead, its better.
In reply to @mich_amore's tweet
Friday, December 30, 2011 12:51:27 AMTwitter for Android
Hhhhhhhh Friday, December 30, 2011 12:29:26 AMTwitter for Android
"JOE! He said cakey pebbles! Not kinky pebbles!" Friday, December 30, 2011 12:28:18 AMTwitter for Android
Dan's dad: "Fruity pebbles? I thought he wanted the kinky pebbles" Friday, December 30, 2011 12:26:33 AMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella nah, I'm straight edge
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Friday, December 30, 2011 12:09:27 AMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella ah so you did bone him :-D
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Thursday, December 29, 2011 11:50:45 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella Positive Nancy
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Thursday, December 29, 2011 11:39:06 PMTwitter for Android
Arizona 2011, heh? THE NOISE! Thursday, December 29, 2011 11:38:13 PMTwitter for Android
Dan's dad: "Ah you gotta be fuckin kiddin me... You guys are drinking alcohol and eating pudding?" Thursday, December 29, 2011 11:10:49 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella Candy in a dressing room? That's amateur hour. You should have banged Daniel Radcliffe instead.
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Thursday, December 29, 2011 9:34:15 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Stop making fun of all my checkins
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Thursday, December 29, 2011 8:04:03 PMTwitter for Android
Alcohol is like free in Arizona. Holy shit. Wednesday, December 28, 2011 8:04:21 PMTwitter for Android
Fireworks? Sold! Wednesday, December 28, 2011 5:08:39 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu amateur hour. Logmein is for lazies. Use an RDP client and Android. Oh wait, you have a Mac.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, December 27, 2011 6:15:34 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Get it, Alexey!
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Tuesday, December 27, 2011 6:13:41 PMTwitter for Android
@Novellabella http://t.co/5rl9YS3
In reply to @Novellabella's tweet
Monday, December 26, 2011 10:18:54 PMTwitter for Android
Galaxy Nexus has low speaker volume. Seems like a software bug. I installed volume+ and its better. Monday, December 26, 2011 8:38:16 PMTwitter for Android
Lolz siri sucks Monday, December 26, 2011 5:56:01 PMTwitter for Android
My aunt: "Say 'Merry Christmas. Now go home, bitch.'" Sunday, December 25, 2011 9:42:47 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu old droids are legit. I got a hold of one and put gingerbread cyanogen on it and it runs like a boss
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Sunday, December 25, 2011 8:54:56 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking hipsters lol. RT @__JLu hahahahaha http://t.co/HPesOcG Saturday, December 24, 2011 12:01:42 PMTwitter for Android
@SonicBlur23 you getting a lotto ticket you degenerate fuck? Saturday, December 24, 2011 2:22:42 AMTwitter for Android
@mich_amore and I just learned that we both suck at art. Oh well. We're still awesome. Friday, December 23, 2011 11:24:13 PMTwitter for Android
Touche: http://t.co/6q8R87A Friday, December 23, 2011 9:12:38 PMTwitter for Android
I can't. I'm loving this so much. Friday, December 23, 2011 7:45:13 PMTwitter for Android
Train puppy! http://t.co/hAu8H2I Friday, December 23, 2011 7:43:40 PMTwitter for Android
I don't know what I want more. The stunna on this train or her two puppies. Probably the puppies. Friday, December 23, 2011 7:42:45 PMTwitter for Android
The galaxy nexus sucks at sending picture messages... they stay sending forever. I blame verizon Friday, December 23, 2011 7:40:47 PMTwitter for Android
I just found a spring in my jeans pocket. How the hell did that get there? http://t.co/tVdSntY Friday, December 23, 2011 11:35:03 AMTwitter for Android
Train is empty because everyone is off. Should be like this every day. Shows me that we need to get rid of a lot of people Friday, December 23, 2011 8:49:47 AMTwitter for Android
What?! Mark Sanchez is banging Kate Upton? My boss will NOT be pleased about this. He's a Jets fan and obsessed with her. Lolz Thursday, December 22, 2011 12:15:32 AMTwitter for Android
Barstool: "Offering the chance to buy Mets playoff tickets is like offering me the chance to buy a unicorn. They don't even fucking exist." Thursday, December 22, 2011 12:02:51 AMTwitter for Android
I'm not even joking. 2011 can't compete with it Wednesday, December 21, 2011 10:21:06 PMTwitter for Android
Dat. Ass. Wednesday, December 21, 2011 10:19:17 PMTwitter for Android