9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Good, because half the time I'm all fucked up in shit, idiots. Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:01:51 AMTwitter for Android
Its okay though. My boss said he doesn't give two fucks what I do outside if work, so long as it doesn't affect work Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:00:40 AMTwitter for Android
I don't hate black peeps for the rec duh. They taught me how to strut dat ass Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:58:59 AMTwitter for Android
Wow. Guess I'm pretty fucked up. I told Stephie that my grandparents hate black people tonight. That's some fucked up shit. Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:58:10 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking shitfaced you stupid mother fuckers Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:52:54 AMTwitter for Android
I can type surprisingly well because I'm actually trying, cunts Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:52:31 AMTwitter for Android
Someone bring me some mother fuckin weed and xanax Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:48:46 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck. Me. In the ass Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:47:16 AMTwitter for Android
Uhhhhgh. Jesus Christ on the cross Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:47:01 AMTwitter for Android
This is fuckin karma. I wasn't sympathetic enough for the bitch ass who missed her stop on Tuesday Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:44:16 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck. Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:40:25 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin dentist appointment. Would've stayed in the city. Jesus Fucking Christ Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:39:04 AMTwitter for Android
Son of a bitch these players hate me. Time to move out Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:38:02 AMTwitter for Android
Cock sucker mother fucker Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:33:01 AMTwitter for Android
Like. I'm never back in this ducking place and one time I do I'm a drunk mother fucker Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:32:43 AMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 you take the 4/5 every morning? Mal thought she saw you yesterday Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:31:41 AMTwitter for Android
The one fucking time I decide to come back to fucking bitch ass Westchester, I sleep past my stop Saturday, December 08, 2012 1:30:34 AMTwitter for Android
Rocks in my mother fuckin head to take this dumbass drunkass train home Saturday, December 08, 2012 12:54:47 AMTwitter for Android
Two things: I'm air drumming to AC/DC. And Scott better tap this chicks pussy but he won't Friday, December 07, 2012 8:30:04 PMTwitter for Android
YEAHHHH THEY COME TO SNUFF RJE ROISTER Thursday, December 06, 2012 7:44:15 PMTwitter for Android
Dave Grohl. I want drum lessons! Thursday, December 06, 2012 7:31:39 PMTwitter for Android
These fucking elevators suck a dick Thursday, December 06, 2012 1:31:47 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck all these fucking morons. Wednesday, December 05, 2012 2:36:57 PMTwitter for Android
Get me the fuck out of this meetong Tuesday, December 04, 2012 11:46:27 AMTwitter for Android
Ghost town on the 4/5 this morning. Wonder why... Tuesday, December 04, 2012 9:05:45 AMTwitter for Android
Lower. The motherless heat on this shit train. Monday, December 03, 2012 7:01:15 PMTwitter for Android
Monday funday!!! Woohoooo! Monday, December 03, 2012 8:01:53 AMTwitter for Android
I want babies with @Colithika and we should name our son Alejandro Saturday, December 01, 2012 11:38:31 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck Friday, November 30, 2012 11:51:03 PMTwitter for Android
Robert DiNero knows his shit Friday, November 30, 2012 11:47:00 PMTwitter for Android
@portfolioso @Colithika @Waspito I'd bang you both, but I'm just not into the dick. But you're still my dudes
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, November 30, 2012 11:19:09 PMTwitter for Android
@Colithika @Waspito cum to us in January, sexual.
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Friday, November 30, 2012 11:18:07 PMTwitter for Android
I win fuckers Friday, November 30, 2012 10:04:38 PMTwitter for Android
Boner for DLK right now. WHEN I run a company, I will be baller like him Friday, November 30, 2012 9:15:45 PMTwitter for Android
Can't believe tcunt fired this awesome dude http://t.co/n8VQIlo Friday, November 30, 2012 8:21:07 PMTwitter for Android
Everyone's taking three fucking years at these ATMs. Fuck off bitches. Friday, November 30, 2012 1:53:13 PMTwitter for Android
There is a guy literally paying metro north in coins. Classic move. conductor wanted to murder him. Thursday, November 29, 2012 6:53:15 PMTwitter for Android
I wonder what it would be like to jack off in space. All weightless and shit... Wednesday, November 28, 2012 10:58:41 PMTwitter for Android
RT @yelling_bird: PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FACE Wednesday, November 28, 2012 6:54:19 PMTwitter for Android
Maaaaaaa!!! I don't wanna go to school today!!! Tuesday, November 27, 2012 7:49:37 AMTwitter for Android
Just called Kevin Rose a bitch... Monday, November 26, 2012 8:49:31 PMTwitter for Android
@kevinrose Android 4.2 > iOS, bitch!
In reply to @kevinrose's tweet
Monday, November 26, 2012 8:49:08 PMTwitter for Android
For whatever reason, its been soooo trippy to type on my phone keyboard for the past two days. Wonder why... Monday, November 26, 2012 6:10:43 PMTwitter for Android
The dude operating this train is amateur as fuck. Takes forever to pull a train into the station at 2mph. Learn to spot quicker, asshat. Monday, November 26, 2012 2:50:13 PMTwitter for Android
Watching the Foo Fighters live at Wembley in 09. Dave, pounce me. Monday, November 26, 2012 12:01:07 PMTwitter for Android
My lungs hurt and this train is hot as ballsack. Heat should be banned on trains. Sunday, November 25, 2012 6:52:11 PMTwitter for Android
I don't think we should play up and down the river with Four Loco, you guys. Saturday, November 24, 2012 4:41:55 PMTwitter for Android
http://t.co/Ead0FBD is a programming language? Friday, November 23, 2012 10:48:28 PMTwitter for Android
Dude. Frosty is on. Well, just ended but still Friday, November 23, 2012 8:31:30 PMTwitter for Android
Da moon Friday, November 23, 2012 8:11:55 PMTwitter for Android
In a casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing &keep coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose. In the end we get it all Thursday, November 22, 2012 11:34:15 AMTwitter for Android
The supper is fuckin vertical Thursday, November 22, 2012 1:37:20 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ. I'm like designated drink dumper on-er. I'm wetter than a fuckin pussy. Not TKs pussy. That shits sandy Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:43:14 AMTwitter for Android
Lol John Stelatte. What a fuckin joke Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:35:31 AMTwitter for Android
This is after they dumped beer on my sexy assed jeans Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:34:47 AMTwitter for Android
John: "It's okay. It all rubs in!" Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:34:08 AMTwitter for Android
Bau. Play with me Thursday, November 22, 2012 12:06:14 AMTwitter for Android
Ihhh. Gin and cider tastes like ballllsack. Not that I ever licked balls Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:31:00 PMTwitter for Android
Yo. Remember the last time we walked to mickeys and I puked in the snow and then ate it to wash my mouth and then drank more? Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:29:11 PMTwitter for Android
I mean.... I was uncool as fuck in high school. And now I'm wearing a horse shirt. Wednesday, November 21, 2012 10:27:35 PMTwitter for Android
Mmm beer and amaretto @Waspito @SonicBlur23 Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:57:29 PMTwitter for Android
Firefox 17 released and the only notable feature is some Facebook bs? Fuck that noise. How about the stop sucking a cock like Chrome. Wednesday, November 21, 2012 9:11:20 PMTwitter for Android
Kev's got the red and black lumberjack. Without the hat to match Wednesday, November 21, 2012 6:25:06 PMTwitter for Android
âš¡CRASHES Wednesday, November 21, 2012 2:54:56 PMTwitter for Android
Tonights menu: bolognese sauce and cauliflower quiche, prepared by your master chef... Me! Tuesday, November 20, 2012 8:56:29 AMTwitter for Android
I'm gonna go watch these tapes Monday, November 19, 2012 9:49:33 PMTwitter for Android
@Lennon son of a bitch. Its in my DVR. #spoiler
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
Sunday, November 18, 2012 11:55:53 PMTwitter for Android
Yo Sunday, November 18, 2012 5:24:22 AMTwitter for Android
Wait. If a pigs tail is squiggly, is a pigs dick squiggly? Sunday, November 18, 2012 4:10:01 AMTwitter for Android
Delete that shit. Two midgets and a horse Sunday, November 18, 2012 4:08:40 AMTwitter for Android
Two bitches and a horse or else it isn't even worth my time. Sunday, November 18, 2012 4:06:58 AMTwitter for Android
I just smacked DAT ass and said "you got a black ass, gurrrrrrl" Saturday, November 17, 2012 9:46:18 PMTwitter for Android
Vagina phone! Saturday, November 17, 2012 7:52:27 PMTwitter for Android
Mmmmm. Saturday, November 17, 2012 7:50:13 PMTwitter for Android
This cabbie smells like fuckin onions. Big deal. Happens Friday, November 16, 2012 9:34:34 PMTwitter for Android
@portfolioso #shameless
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, November 16, 2012 8:58:17 PMTwitter for Android
I'm the cockiest motherfucker going but I mean hey.... when your that hot. God damn right. Friday, November 16, 2012 8:57:36 PMTwitter for Android
When life gives you lemons... Strut dat ass Friday, November 16, 2012 2:04:35 PMTwitter for Android
Well fuck Thursday, November 15, 2012 9:39:18 PMTwitter for Android
Some more skrilla from those bitches Thursday, November 15, 2012 8:00:19 PMTwitter for Android
This is why voting in the United States is a fucking joke. http://t.co/YzwYMfl Thursday, November 15, 2012 12:05:12 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: Regret in devops is when you are monitor cloud instance which was terminate of last week. Wednesday, November 14, 2012 9:54:50 PMTwitter for Android
Tits! Meetings! Enjoyyyyyyy Wednesday, November 14, 2012 5:33:01 PMTwitter for Android
"Wait. He inherited her last name?!?! What a bitch. I'm gonna tap that ass." Wednesday, November 14, 2012 3:50:10 PMTwitter for Android
Beers are going down realll smooth, you guys Wednesday, November 14, 2012 3:43:21 PMTwitter for Android
If Gretchen Mol is 40, then bring me a cougar. Welp, maybe I'm just into older redheads Monday, November 12, 2012 10:56:06 PMTwitter for Android
So Angela Darmody banged a guy she thought looked like her son and screamed his name in bed? #sick #boardwalkempire Monday, November 12, 2012 10:38:29 PMTwitter for Android
Lol. The NYC comptroller is Asian. #math #smart Monday, November 12, 2012 10:32:24 PMTwitter for Android
Chris Christie
*Governor* 		Monday, November 12, 2012 7:23:03 PMTwitter for Android
Well balls. Went to a bar in Gramercy and need to be back in the financial district like now. Still here. Oops Monday, November 12, 2012 1:35:46 PMTwitter for Android
The doghouse. Lol Monday, November 12, 2012 10:32:58 AMTwitter for Android
The Mover: "Chest out. Be proud!!!!" Sunday, November 11, 2012 2:19:26 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew just tweetd on behalf of me that I love butts. Truth Saturday, November 10, 2012 7:34:55 PMTwitter for Android
I love butts! Saturday, November 10, 2012 7:31:55 PMTwitter for Android
Tits http://t.co/mgi0BFZ Saturday, November 10, 2012 7:20:44 PMTwitter for Android
Gimmie Saturday, November 10, 2012 6:59:37 PMTwitter for Android
Boobsssssssss!!! Saturday, November 10, 2012 6:58:04 PMTwitter for Android
Wanna do a startup with @__JLu Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:55:47 PMTwitter for Android
Brunch makes you talk about China Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:42:59 PMTwitter for Android
Our new corporate logo is goatse central. Looks like a gaping asshole Saturday, November 10, 2012 4:37:59 PMTwitter for Android