9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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@VtotheFlo I'll be fine son Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:56:34 AMTwitter for Android
Legit shouting match. Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:55:27 AMTwitter for Android
Players about to bust out a gat Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:55:05 AMTwitter for Android
This is the hoodest mother fuckin McDonalds I've ever been to. Never feared for my life more. Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:54:54 AMTwitter for Android
Derick: "Bacterial viruses" he corrected himself though so he's coo Friday, December 28, 2012 11:52:22 PMTwitter for Android
4 Alice in chains song on in a row at Rudy's. Yeahhhhhh buddy Friday, December 28, 2012 11:48:00 PMTwitter for Android
Boot and rally Friday, December 28, 2012 11:44:39 PMTwitter for Android
Just puked at Rudy's from fuckin tequila all over the toilet seat. Peed it off to clean it. Winning Friday, December 28, 2012 11:44:31 PMTwitter for Android
Some dude keeps playing Alice in Chains at Rudy's. Love it Friday, December 28, 2012 11:43:36 PMTwitter for Android
Derick "I'm not drinking that shit. That's how you get hepatitis" Friday, December 28, 2012 11:25:15 PMTwitter for Android
Cisco: "Is your vagina freezing?" Friday, December 28, 2012 10:56:14 PMTwitter for Android
"Yo. Westchester can't be upstate. Its like so low." Friday, December 28, 2012 10:28:56 PMTwitter for Android
I think I smell like Rudy's....... Jeez Friday, December 28, 2012 7:44:10 AMTwitter for Android
Can't even spell or type Friday, December 28, 2012 2:09:49 AMTwitter for Android
Shit. Pretty sire I was air drumming my balls off Friday, December 28, 2012 2:09:31 AMTwitter for Android
Fat fuck.. Why'd I go to fuckin McDonalds. drunk motherfucker Friday, December 28, 2012 2:07:22 AMTwitter for Android
Oh shit. I just burped McDonalds... Fuck. I went to McDonalds? Friday, December 28, 2012 2:06:47 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck offfffffff I'm the happiest son Friday, December 28, 2012 1:27:55 AMTwitter for Android
This dude needs some mother fuckin chicken nuggets son Thursday, December 27, 2012 11:09:07 PMTwitter for Android
Ordered another vodka red bull @RockNationRadio isn't pleased Thursday, December 27, 2012 10:03:58 PMTwitter for Android
And when you lose control. You reap the harvest you have sewn Thursday, December 27, 2012 9:39:11 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin sausage fest I'm at. How the fuck is the guys pisser line like 4x longer than the womens Thursday, December 27, 2012 9:10:51 PMTwitter for Android
🎶🎶"Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland awayyyyyyyyy" 🎵🎵 Thursday, December 27, 2012 8:59:35 PMTwitter for Android
Ice cold in here and I love it Thursday, December 27, 2012 8:40:37 PMTwitter for Android
Made the mistake of seeing a pink Floyd cover band without a fat blunt Thursday, December 27, 2012 8:14:29 PMTwitter for Android
Tom Petty is on. Yeahhhhhhhgh buddy Thursday, December 27, 2012 7:24:56 PMTwitter for Android
I just had three hot dogs. Fatty Thursday, December 27, 2012 7:24:38 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin A. Casino is on? That's it. Grabbing a beer and kickin it for the rest of the workday Thursday, December 27, 2012 2:16:21 PMTwitter for Android
Marnie on Girls always has huge pupils. Wonder how many painkillers she pops... Thursday, December 27, 2012 2:46:43 AMTwitter for Android
There's a psycho walking around Grand Central with an umbrella pretending it's a shotgun. I looked at him funny and he pretended to shoot me Wednesday, December 26, 2012 10:48:46 PMTwitter for Android
So you think Santa and Mrs. Claus still bang? Tuesday, December 25, 2012 9:11:34 PMTwitter for Android
Little observation... The polar express isn't very express.... It makes a few stops. Monday, December 24, 2012 11:58:59 PMTwitter for Android
So smiley at this early morning hour on Christmas Eve!!! Monday, December 24, 2012 4:14:50 AMTwitter for Android
The Mover just called me Vito, Phil and then Bob... Whoops Sunday, December 23, 2012 11:47:58 PMTwitter for Android
These two degenerates only talk about gambling Sunday, December 23, 2012 7:29:34 PMTwitter for Android
The Yankees are a fucking joke team this season Sunday, December 23, 2012 1:17:02 PMTwitter for Android
I'm legit gonna put a hose in my ass and hook it up to my house. Supplemental methane will lower my con ed bill. Sunday, December 23, 2012 2:43:35 AMTwitter for Android
I don't understand how its possible for a human to be that flatulent for three days straight Sunday, December 23, 2012 2:42:17 AMTwitter for Android
" Hirxhsd a ride homep" -@MalJNew Sunday, December 23, 2012 2:37:49 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew stop being a lady
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Saturday, December 22, 2012 8:21:40 PMTwitter for Android
My dad just photobombed some game show. He's legit in the background making goofball faces. Absolutely hysterical. Attaboy pops! Saturday, December 22, 2012 12:16:09 AMTwitter for Android
I still promise my twitter will remain crazy as fuck. People like that shit. #ass #titties #bangbang #struttin #unicorns Saturday, December 22, 2012 12:06:37 AMTwitter for Android
Oh and the wallet is full too. Another perk Saturday, December 22, 2012 12:01:38 AMTwitter for Android
What the fuck is going on. Am I recovering from my past crazy alcoholic ways? Only had 2 drinks all night and had fun anyway Saturday, December 22, 2012 12:01:16 AMTwitter for Android
Did anyone else fold dollar bills in a way as a kid so it spelled out tits? Friday, December 21, 2012 11:59:10 PMTwitter for Android
"I'm buying some new kicks because my kicks is busted" Friday, December 21, 2012 10:21:38 PMTwitter for Android
That tequila is like Jesus peed in a cup Friday, December 21, 2012 9:38:18 PMTwitter for Android
"If TK had a house party, I'd leave her an upper decker" Friday, December 21, 2012 9:24:25 PMTwitter for Android
Gio: "Holy shit. Her ass is too low. How do you fuck that?" Friday, December 21, 2012 9:19:08 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sorry, but George W. Bush's daughters are really hot. Thursday, December 20, 2012 8:57:59 PMTwitter for Android
Some herb would sort this all out... You know... "Chamomile tea" Thursday, December 20, 2012 4:32:47 PMTwitter for Android
Yes. Puking in a bag during the lunch hour rush while sober is a great look for me. Thursday, December 20, 2012 4:15:17 PMTwitter for Android
" You mount the woman, son....or else, send her out to me, huh?" Wednesday, December 19, 2012 10:25:03 PMTwitter for Android
I want to bang you dirty. Tuesday, December 18, 2012 10:27:13 PMTwitter for Android
Tits. Out. Tuesday, December 18, 2012 9:35:04 PMTwitter for Android
About time these POlice write mother fuckin tickets for these homeless wastes Tuesday, December 18, 2012 9:17:19 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. Just realized Ashling is rocking hoops like a black girl. Didn't even notice Tuesday, December 18, 2012 8:47:26 PMTwitter for Android
Bang bang bang Tuesday, December 18, 2012 8:42:52 PMTwitter for Android
The ice on the glass Tuesday, December 18, 2012 8:30:15 PMTwitter for Android
"Apartment: shitshow. Salesforce: clean" -Alisa Tuesday, December 18, 2012 7:34:57 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Be proud! Tuesday, December 18, 2012 2:25:07 PMTwitter for Android
Order or reason? Monday, December 17, 2012 9:35:24 PMTwitter for Android
Didn't even roll out of bed and my day has been made! I'm the luckiest! Monday, December 17, 2012 7:35:39 AMTwitter for Android
Hanging with my boys @keith_connors and @Onethirdof3x5 and Jackie. Yeahhh buddy! Saturday, December 15, 2012 10:27:47 PMTwitter for Android
Hey fly ass Santa. I want a picture with you!! Saturday, December 15, 2012 8:55:29 PMTwitter for Android
Elise: "Yo. What does Jesus have to do with Christmas" Saturday, December 15, 2012 8:39:10 PMTwitter for Android
I just told my CEO I save this company 29grand a year and if he doesn't appreciate it he can blow me Friday, December 14, 2012 11:08:02 PMTwitter for Android
Or Greg. Not that they didn't bang before Friday, December 14, 2012 10:48:53 PMTwitter for Android
Kelly needs to get some duck from TKray Friday, December 14, 2012 10:48:27 PMTwitter for Android
Hardly drank yet. Went over to Alexey and Niraj and took 3 shots. Fuckin A Friday, December 14, 2012 7:18:06 PMTwitter for Android
I don't think @MalJNew was too pleased I was going around strutting my ass on the sales floor, getting mad head turns Friday, December 14, 2012 2:50:23 PMTwitter for Android
Elise just made me do two shots of Hennessey. She's the blackest. Thursday, December 13, 2012 8:44:31 PMTwitter for Android
Moreeeeee sexy Dave on drums. #wahh Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:05:25 AMTwitter for Android
#121312Concert Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:02:26 AMTwitter for Android
I have a touch of the gay for Dave Grohl Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:02:10 AMTwitter for Android
Omg I want his hair. Thursday, December 13, 2012 1:00:21 AMTwitter for Android
OMG Dave Grohl!!!! Thursday, December 13, 2012 12:59:18 AMTwitter for Android
I WANT DAVE #121212concert Thursday, December 13, 2012 12:40:40 AMTwitter for Android
#121212concert is dope Wednesday, December 12, 2012 10:33:36 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck you looking at, cunt Wednesday, December 12, 2012 10:12:13 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck Williams bridge and all these piece of shit Bronx stops. Metro north should skip the Bronx. Its for better people Wednesday, December 12, 2012 9:54:33 PMTwitter for Android
Don't get chicken at mitherfuckin McDonalds because the probably slaughter it. Fuckers took 20 minutes. Wednesday, December 12, 2012 9:04:25 PMTwitter for Android
SHIT. About a girl is on at Dakota Bar. Wednesday, December 12, 2012 7:46:52 PMTwitter for Android
I'm gonna go home, watch the nirvana reunion and do one one one karaoke with myself. #loser Wednesday, December 12, 2012 7:46:29 PMTwitter for Android
@thomaswood was referring to that
In reply to @thomaswood's tweet
Wednesday, December 12, 2012 4:31:54 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DEVOPS_BORAT: 90% of problem in devops can able solve with one of 3 thing: 1) SSD 2) CDN 3) AWS Tuesday, December 11, 2012 10:49:31 PMTwitter for Android
I think I just dropped a bigger log than Elise. Monday, December 10, 2012 7:32:15 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously. It's like the internet decided to fucking shut off the minute I woke up and pulled out my phone. And it needed a reboot. Monday, December 10, 2012 7:01:55 PMTwitter for Android
The radios in my phone are driving me batshit on the grounds that I NEVER FUCKING HAVE INTERNET Monday, December 10, 2012 6:59:25 PMTwitter for Android
"This 4 train smells like musty dick" -@MalJNew Monday, December 10, 2012 6:57:02 PMTwitter for Android
Take a week off for Hanukkah or some shit. Christ. Monday, December 10, 2012 8:08:08 AMTwitter for Android
Why the fuck is this train so crowded with no seats this morning. Fuck off. I wanted to sleep Monday, December 10, 2012 8:05:41 AMTwitter for Android
Oh but my bed is too warm and fuzzy for me to get up... Monday, December 10, 2012 7:31:36 AMTwitter for Android
Like... I can't load youtube shit on 4G. And a 3G iPhone 4 loads it fine. this is horse shit Saturday, December 08, 2012 10:39:19 PMTwitter for Android
The hybrid 3G/4G radios in this piece of shit Galaxy Nexus can suck my dick. Saturday, December 08, 2012 10:34:10 PMTwitter for Android
Didn't puke and not hungover. Yeahhhh buddy Saturday, December 08, 2012 12:04:37 PMTwitter for Android
I could go for a grapefruit right now. #saturdaybrunch Saturday, December 08, 2012 10:45:51 AMTwitter for Android
Its not even possible my tab was only $35. Saturday, December 08, 2012 10:43:44 AMTwitter for Android
My twitter makes me sound like a mess. Its kind of a joke / entertainment you guys. Everything's fine. Saturday, December 08, 2012 8:55:21 AMTwitter for Android
This is what working for my company does to you. Turns you into a fuckin stressed ass zombie that turns to stupid shit to get by at life. Saturday, December 08, 2012 2:02:53 AMTwitter for Android