9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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TweetDateSource
Gio on Kwabi: "This guy's a fuckin bobblehead" Wednesday, February 13, 2013 9:43:31 PMTwitter for Android
Casey: " What?! I'm not doing shots!! I have to work tomorrow!! But I will buy... No wait. I will expense your shots" Wednesday, February 13, 2013 9:21:23 PMTwitter for Android
Me: "Jameson? Fuck. Can I do a pickleback because I'm a pussy?" Gio: "No" Me: "okay" Wednesday, February 13, 2013 9:11:25 PMTwitter for Android
"This is such a gay bar. There's a reason its called MudFlaps" -Gio Wednesday, February 13, 2013 9:09:52 PMTwitter for Android
Liz picked it. No wonder it sucks Wednesday, February 13, 2013 7:03:24 PMTwitter for Android
Whoever picked this place is a fuckin asshole Wednesday, February 13, 2013 6:59:42 PMTwitter for Android
"Office internet is spotty. Like the power in India" Said this out loud in the office. Managers were not pleased with me. Wednesday, February 13, 2013 11:09:15 AMTwitter for Android
Now I know why I don't use it much on the train. Thing gives me anxiety. Can't even send a few tweets. lost it 3 times trying to send this Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:17:14 AMTwitter for Android
This fucking phone drops internet like I drop shits: way too fucking much. Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:14:19 AMTwitter for Android
It's about time for this rich old lawyer dude to get a new bag. Probably had it since 1953 & it looks like its been through a meat grinder Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:10:08 AMTwitter for Android
These morons removed their branding from the app. That's like the most important thing... Wednesday, February 13, 2013 1:46:13 AMTwitter for Android
Holy shit... What did foursquare do to their app? It's so different Wednesday, February 13, 2013 1:28:28 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck Metro North and their delayed ass trains. 2/2 in delays on the 6:36. Fuck this train. Not taking it for the rest of the week Tuesday, February 12, 2013 7:07:55 PMTwitter for Android
Is this meeting over yet? Tuesday, February 12, 2013 11:26:48 AMTwitter for Android
Could've crawled backwards on a bed of nails with a ball and chain faster than the 4/5 this morning Tuesday, February 12, 2013 9:09:52 AMTwitter for Android
Saw WAY too much of Lena Dunham in yesterdays episode of Girls. Enough. Yous nasty Monday, February 11, 2013 11:54:58 PMTwitter for Android
Anyone remember "golgi bodies" in science? Those cell organelle things? Yeah. Their name sounds cool. Sunday, February 10, 2013 11:39:31 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew 🚭
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Sunday, February 10, 2013 11:34:53 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin a. Look at him. Like he's hot. And awesome Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:20:44 PMTwitter for Android
Omg Dave Mothefuckin Grohl. Bang Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:20:08 PMTwitter for Android
Derick: "Wezz coast rap is ass. Ah like Nas, Moss Def, Slick Rick" Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:17:41 PMTwitter for Android
That's bullshit. What about all my crackers from Gun Hill Rd... Place is hood as fuck. Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:14:47 PMTwitter for Android
So let me guess... You're not allowed to be white and win "Best Urban Contemporary" Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:13:19 PMTwitter for Android
Omg Justin Timberlake. I gonna cum Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:05:19 PMTwitter for Android
Shit Brent. Rosemary buttermilk garlic biscuits Sunday, February 10, 2013 9:03:28 PMTwitter for Android
Lena Dunham: ya might be talented or something but ya still gross... #stopshowingyourtitsongirls Sunday, February 10, 2013 8:54:08 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Ginuwine - Pony
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Sunday, February 10, 2013 8:43:54 PMTwitter for Android
Hips McGhee over here Sunday, February 10, 2013 8:34:06 PMTwitter for Android
Needs a forklift Sunday, February 10, 2013 8:21:15 PMTwitter for Android
There's a big assed thigh going on over there, JLo Sunday, February 10, 2013 8:20:31 PMTwitter for Android
"Elton John looks like a negro disco ball" -Brent Sunday, February 10, 2013 8:13:12 PMTwitter for Android
Pass the Wii @Colithika @Waspito @SonicBlur23 Sunday, February 10, 2013 4:05:09 PMTwitter for Android
Y'all know me as a certified ass man, but I mean... Boobs are cool too. Sunday, February 10, 2013 1:09:12 PMTwitter for Android
Shoveling complete. Time to play, preferably with @MalJNew and maybe @MichaelShatin if he's lucky Saturday, February 09, 2013 2:14:23 PMTwitter for Android
Anyone wanna have blizzard sex? Friday, February 08, 2013 2:58:21 PMTwitter for Android
The most meat is stuck in my teeth right now Thursday, February 07, 2013 11:19:42 PMTwitter for Android
"I fucked ya teeth last night. Deal with it." Thursday, February 07, 2013 11:03:16 PMTwitter for Android
"NO! You don't claim an underground gambling ring on your W2!!!!!" Thursday, February 07, 2013 10:49:12 PMTwitter for Android
Also, twats Thursday, February 07, 2013 12:50:38 PMTwitter for Android
I accidentally the database Thursday, February 07, 2013 9:46:45 AMTwitter for Android
MTA: The heat on your shit box trains. Turn it the fuck off. I shouldn't be soaked sweating in February Tuesday, February 05, 2013 7:05:29 PMTwitter for Android
Okay. You're gonna have to stop biting your lip before I bang you in public. Tuesday, February 05, 2013 3:01:45 PMTwitter for Android
I think the popularity of my banana phone crashed Instagram and Amazon S3 Tuesday, February 05, 2013 2:27:58 PMTwitter for Android
Just dutch ovened myself. Wasn't terrible Tuesday, February 05, 2013 2:06:23 AMTwitter for Android
Congrats, homeskillet. @Onethirdof3x5 Sunday, February 03, 2013 10:48:04 PMTwitter for Android
Three halves equal a whole and a half Sunday, February 03, 2013 10:23:03 PMTwitter for Android
A Catholic black Irishman with the name Hassan... Sunday, February 03, 2013 9:14:12 PMTwitter for Android
'Murrrrrica! Second world country. Can't even keep the power in. What the F is this District 12 of the Hunger Games? Sunday, February 03, 2013 9:08:38 PMTwitter for Android
George W. Bush is responsible for this power outage based on his handling of Katrina. Sunday, February 03, 2013 8:42:19 PMTwitter for Android
Yo Jeep... Fuck a war Sunday, February 03, 2013 8:24:50 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: These smokin' cocoa babes are burnin' with the heat of a thousand suns. Sunday, February 03, 2013 8:23:17 PMTwitter for Android
DEM black asses Sunday, February 03, 2013 8:16:51 PMTwitter for Android
We have boys in Afghanistan why?....... Sunday, February 03, 2013 6:23:47 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin advil wore off. Hangover #2...I need water and better medicine. Like the good kind if you know what I mean Sunday, February 03, 2013 9:36:59 AMTwitter for Android
I poop a lot Sunday, February 03, 2013 9:35:07 AMTwitter for Android
IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!! Saturday, February 02, 2013 10:41:32 PMTwitter for Android
OK. She's forgiven. They explained her humor to me. Saturday, February 02, 2013 6:26:24 PMTwitter for Android
No ones mean to me. This is ridiculous Saturday, February 02, 2013 6:21:36 PMTwitter for Android
I don't know who this obnoxious fat fuck of Mikey's friend is but she can go fuck herself because she's rude Saturday, February 02, 2013 6:21:15 PMTwitter for Android
"All the dust you breathe is probably centuries of billions of decomposed bodies" Friday, February 01, 2013 12:07:51 AMTwitter for Android
Just got mad and the string cheese. Slightly flustered tonight Thursday, January 31, 2013 10:52:10 PMTwitter for Android
Also @ Booker for ♥ month RT @FairfieldU Don't forget that tomorrow is Fairfield Friday. Wear red to show your Fairfield pride! #StagNation Thursday, January 31, 2013 4:40:20 PMTwitter for Android
I'm wearing a T-shirt, sweatpants and dress shoes. The fuck... Wednesday, January 30, 2013 10:22:06 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously though. If I were HBO, I'd make sure Girls would revolve around Marnie because she is hot and Hanna is a nasty slut Tuesday, January 29, 2013 11:58:24 PMTwitter for Android
My Dad is watching Girls and his comment on Lena Dunham: "this one likes to take her top off and shows off her mosquito bites" Tuesday, January 29, 2013 11:37:37 PMTwitter for Android
Yo Cranston, your daughter is 18, right? Sunday, January 27, 2013 9:18:24 PMTwitter for Android
My lungs hurt Sunday, January 27, 2013 8:57:41 PMTwitter for Android
The Mover, regarding Tina Fey: "Those tits are half out" Sunday, January 27, 2013 8:28:20 PMTwitter for Android
Get drunk and put on Banana Phone at the barrrrr. Many times. Duh Saturday, January 26, 2013 5:54:53 PMTwitter for Android
Haven't been sober since Thursday night Saturday, January 26, 2013 3:51:28 PMTwitter for Android
"At 6:30 let's fuck this place up" -Yuri Saturday, January 26, 2013 2:27:59 PMTwitter for Android
We must be over the rainbow!! Saturday, January 26, 2013 1:47:35 PMTwitter for Android
I'm so above you
And it's plain to see ya drunk drunken idk suck it 		Thursday, January 24, 2013 11:04:04 PMTwitter for Android
@Lennon suck it lennon
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
Thursday, January 24, 2013 10:08:57 PMTwitter for Android
Awwwww. I love the gays. They're so cute and friendly Thursday, January 24, 2013 9:48:42 PMTwitter for Android
Like seriously Mals. Put those away before I titty fuck you at the bar Thursday, January 24, 2013 9:18:53 PMTwitter for Android
Bov Marley comes on at the bar and my Jamaican IT dude and I went wild Thursday, January 24, 2013 9:00:15 PMTwitter for Android
Nah not really he can suck my dick Thursday, January 24, 2013 8:49:10 PMTwitter for Android
Chief operating officer showed up a the bar as im calling out sick tomorrow. This should be interesting Thursday, January 24, 2013 8:48:52 PMTwitter for Android
Aniusha:"all that mother fucker does is get his dick squeezed by his bralic girlfriend" Thursday, January 24, 2013 8:12:16 PMTwitter for Android
Gonna get drunk and tweet like a motherfucker tonight Thursday, January 24, 2013 8:05:00 PMTwitter for Android
RT @UberFacts: The average person farts 14 times a day. Thursday, January 24, 2013 7:24:19 PMTwitter for Android
Coupla drunks in and I told our IT guy I installed steam and played Killing Floor in the office. He didn't care. #sotight Thursday, January 24, 2013 7:24:11 PMTwitter for Android
I complain a lot. Wednesday, January 23, 2013 1:47:25 AMTwitter for Android
Really wish I didn't poop so much, you guys Tuesday, January 22, 2013 9:12:39 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta pee, sluts Tuesday, January 22, 2013 7:49:24 PMTwitter for Android
Please stop talking so loudly in Japanese. Please stop. Its too early. Tuesday, January 22, 2013 8:08:14 AMTwitter for Android
For real. How is it possible for these top heavy shitpiles to rock so violently without tipping and derailing? Monday, January 21, 2013 6:46:18 PMTwitter for Android
Happy #djbj day to ya, you guys. Monday, January 21, 2013 6:42:38 PMTwitter for Android
Seasick on the Metro North again on the grounds that the new M8 cars rock back and forth like motherfuckers. Ass backwards engineering. Monday, January 21, 2013 6:42:06 PMTwitter for Android
@Lennon we should be off. Especially in honor of juicy black asses
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
Sunday, January 20, 2013 11:05:43 PMTwitter for Android
What other suckers are working tomorrow? Sunday, January 20, 2013 10:31:43 PMTwitter for Android
Mover is dapper tonight. Sunday, January 20, 2013 5:21:32 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin construction everywhere. Fuckin bums. Fuckin inferior transit. Fuck NYC. Fuckin shithole Sunday, January 20, 2013 1:38:04 PMTwitter for Android
Tuck your stomach in you fucking slob. It looks like a fuckin ass crack Sunday, January 20, 2013 1:37:15 PMTwitter for Android
There's too many fuckin bums in this city ever since Giulianni left and stopped having them killed. Sunday, January 20, 2013 1:36:21 PMTwitter for Android
The 4/5/6 can eat my dick Sunday, January 20, 2013 1:34:08 PMTwitter for Android
You think the mother fucking MTA would rope off the fuckin areas where trains aren't running so I don't wait like a jackoff for 10 mins Sunday, January 20, 2013 1:32:45 PMTwitter for Android
I need to rally Saturday, January 19, 2013 6:54:01 PMTwitter for Android
90s dance party: La Bouche, Ace of Base, Amber, quad city DJs, Saturday, January 19, 2013 1:40:44 PMTwitter for Android