9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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@SonicBlur23 you're a dick
In reply to @SonicBlur23's tweet
Wednesday, July 03, 2013 11:20:09 PMTwitter for Android
Memphis fuck house? Kansas blue balls? Wednesday, July 03, 2013 10:49:19 PMTwitter for Android
Protip: Do not scream "I love bush" in the car with your GFs mom. I meant the 90s band!!!!!! Wednesday, July 03, 2013 9:20:53 PMTwitter for Android
This chick on Hardcore Pawn is 100% in need of a cunt punt. Nothing more, nothing less Wednesday, July 03, 2013 12:44:03 AMTwitter for Android
Twitter poll: What is deadlier? Bridgeport, CT or a pawn shop in Detroit? Wednesday, July 03, 2013 12:42:34 AMTwitter for Android
Bob Loblaw lobs law bomb Monday, July 01, 2013 12:37:09 PMTwitter for Android
@mich_amore It's fine. I got a tick bite once. As long as it doesn't turn into a rash you'll be 100% fine
In reply to @mich_amore's tweet
Monday, July 01, 2013 12:32:38 AMTwitter for Android
"Its better to ask for forgiveness than permission" Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:54:50 PMTwitter for Android
"He's a man. and he has glasses. and he looks like me, but he's much shorter. But he has one kidney and I have two. You know him?" Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:48:24 PMTwitter for Android
"Get him eating fruit salad on his knees" Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:45:21 PMTwitter for Android
Come on Mal. You didn't see Jesus on that ass? http://t.co/28WoW0CJD2 Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:44:23 PMTwitter for Android
Buddha: "Don't post anything about this fruit intake" Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:41:42 PMTwitter for Android
"The sight of an Indian fellow riding down the streets of Cleveland past Radio City Music Hall on a white stallion" @MalJNew is CRAY Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:31:42 PMTwitter for Android
Bau. We're tweetin a fool right now Saturday, June 29, 2013 2:29:32 AMTwitter for Android
⚡⚡the struggle is real ⚡⚡ Saturday, June 29, 2013 2:05:59 AMTwitter for Android
@portfolioso nope. It didn't turn out well
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, June 28, 2013 7:44:01 PMTwitter for Android
Looks like Bynes is up to no good again on Twitter Friday, June 28, 2013 6:03:39 PMTwitter for Android
Welp Santeria came on so its fine Friday, June 28, 2013 6:02:46 PMTwitter for Android
I don't actually appreesh that. Ya know.... But I'll let it slide Friday, June 28, 2013 6:02:24 PMTwitter for Android
Ummmm. If ever Pearl Jams Alive comes on at the bar. I'm in heaven. #itjustdid #enjoyyy Friday, June 28, 2013 5:57:42 PMTwitter for Android
Vodka red bull pong ain't gonna turn out well #yolo Friday, June 28, 2013 4:59:48 PMTwitter for Android
@Colithika niga I suck yo dick
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Friday, June 28, 2013 12:02:21 AMTwitter for Android
Just got black girl "Gurlllfraaaand, talk to the hand" -ed Thursday, June 27, 2013 10:15:13 PMTwitter for Android
What I'd do for Joe Stein's hair... Thursday, June 27, 2013 9:54:51 PMTwitter for Android
Joe Stein showed up!!!!! Guys legit Thursday, June 27, 2013 9:32:46 PMTwitter for Android
I just beat myself up because I forgot what the amygdala was in the brain. Bitch I got a 5 on AP psych. I should know this shit. Thursday, June 27, 2013 9:29:19 PMTwitter for Android
I invited gramps to to the bar @BadPointer http://t.co/eakphLnWzq Thursday, June 27, 2013 7:45:29 PMTwitter for Android
I mean, I was going to go to bed before 1, but after watching the season 5 Finale of Nurse Jackie, I rewatched the pilot. Damn that was good Thursday, June 27, 2013 3:04:53 AMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: Between Hernandez, filibusters, the gays, and Arod, twitter may break today. If Nelson Mandela kicks the bucket, it will 1… Wednesday, June 26, 2013 2:41:00 PMTwitter for Android
Looking at all the news and bullshit going on as of late, why hasn't anyone realized this country fuckin sucks and you're not actually free? Wednesday, June 26, 2013 8:10:08 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin @arod. Steinbrenner must be spinning in his grave. #waste #getthefuckoffmyteam Wednesday, June 26, 2013 12:47:32 AMTwitter for Android
Probably a 70% chance I have IBS. #justsayin Wednesday, June 26, 2013 12:41:39 AMTwitter for Android
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. My man crush Dave Roberson has a Twitter? Fuckin a. #nextyearscloser @DRob30 Tuesday, June 25, 2013 9:33:08 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sleepy Tuesday, June 25, 2013 8:47:59 PMTwitter for Android
A flat tire in the hood sounds excellent at 11:45. And I have work tomorrow. Sunday, June 23, 2013 11:49:14 PMTwitter for Android
@Dave_Jets why
In reply to @Dave_Jets's tweet
Sunday, June 23, 2013 3:24:45 PMTwitter for Android
This bitch on the train is fuckin screaming Sunday, June 23, 2013 3:18:18 PMTwitter for Android
I mean..... I don't know what allergy is around, but my eyes are so red. Looks like I smoked a pound of weed you guys Saturday, June 22, 2013 7:58:25 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ CC Saturday, June 22, 2013 3:07:47 PMTwitter for Android
"Sangria power hour sounds better that a classy lobster dinner" -@MalJNew yep... This is the girl I picked.... Saturday, June 22, 2013 1:30:40 PMTwitter for Android
Love how I go to the beach and wear 15 and not reapply and be fine. @MalJNew put on 70 and is a lobster #thefairest vs #Sicilian #yeahbuddy Saturday, June 22, 2013 1:29:04 PMTwitter for Android
Pat: "I need 6 beers pronto" Friday, June 21, 2013 2:34:46 PMTwitter for Android
Aniusha's ass is poppin. #DEMWHITEPANTS #DOMINICAN #DATASS STRUTTIN Friday, June 21, 2013 2:12:23 PMTwitter for Android
The internet on this phone can legitimately go fuck itself. Where's the fuckin HTC One on Verizon? Thursday, June 20, 2013 11:00:40 PMTwitter for Android
@BadPointer you stepped on xlib
In reply to @BadPointer's tweet
Thursday, June 20, 2013 9:51:31 PMTwitter for Android
Lol. The Yankees are bad Thursday, June 20, 2013 9:46:32 PMTwitter for Android
I'm watchin Winnie the pooh. Someone give Eeyore a joint or some shit. Jesus Thursday, June 20, 2013 1:43:00 AMTwitter for Android
🚭⚠👙☺⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡ Thursday, June 20, 2013 1:32:46 AMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 tell him to eat a bag of dicks
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Thursday, June 20, 2013 1:12:41 AMTwitter for Android
Lol that looks cool Thursday, June 20, 2013 12:48:44 AMTwitter for Android
⚡⚡⚡⚡☀🌛🐾☺🎶👍⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡ Thursday, June 20, 2013 12:47:50 AMTwitter for Android
Gotta get up at 5 am to tend to our piece of shit software. Told the hr lady who's getting fires next week I came in fucked up. Lol Wednesday, June 19, 2013 11:56:55 PMTwitter for Android
Protip: don't let Lennon and Antonia bite both ur nips at the same time. But its hot Wednesday, June 19, 2013 10:16:21 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew I said are you gonna be my girl Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:38:10 PMTwitter for Android
I'm doing fireballs in honor of James Gandolfini. #TonySoprano #KillerKane Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:30:35 PMTwitter for Android
Holy shit. My IT dude is the most amazing person ever. #staystrong my dude. You are so amazing and humble and people don't even realize it Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:29:33 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: RIP Tony Soprano. Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:11:30 PMTwitter for Android
Get the fuck out of here. James Gandolfini had a heart attack and died? Fuckin A. RIP dude. Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:01:10 PMTwitter for Android
Natalia: "What is sandy vagina" Me: "Kelly" Natalia: "Ahhhhh I get it now" Wednesday, June 19, 2013 8:35:46 PMTwitter for Android
Uhhhhhp. Pooped a little Wednesday, June 19, 2013 7:58:46 PMTwitter for Android
Also, I just grabbed Antonia's ass and request a lap dance. Wednesday, June 19, 2013 7:53:08 PMTwitter for Android
Ghost stories with Hughlon Wednesday, June 19, 2013 7:52:28 PMTwitter for Android
Eatadick dot com slash booker Wednesday, June 19, 2013 5:57:13 PMTwitter for Android
Too many dudes in this office. Fuckin shitter is full. Wednesday, June 19, 2013 5:52:29 PMTwitter for Android
@MarkAbsher I know you only deal with social media, but why is Verizon 3G/4G absolutely useless in Lower Manhattan? Wednesday, June 19, 2013 2:44:38 PMTwitter for Android
I'm cunceling this game right now Sunday, June 16, 2013 6:35:20 PMTwitter for Android
6-0 in the bottom of the 9th and now its 6-5. This is some mets ass shit right now. Cuncel da game Sunday, June 16, 2013 6:33:41 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ. Yankess play like gems for 8 innings and now they suck ass Sunday, June 16, 2013 6:31:11 PMTwitter for Android
Dude called me over to look at a fuckin TV and I thought the cops were at our door. Jesus Saturday, June 15, 2013 9:42:34 AMTwitter for Android
Bitch get me a 30. @SonicBlur23 Friday, June 14, 2013 4:22:44 PMTwitter for Android
See this is exactly the reason I don't drink out of hotel cups. John: "let's see if we can fit our dick and balls in this cup" Friday, June 14, 2013 10:45:26 AMTwitter for Android
"Dude. You need to wash your hands after eating because I just found marinara sauce in my pussy" Actual quote. Murrrrica. Friday, June 14, 2013 1:44:30 AMTwitter for Android
It don't cause no death, no disease. Friday, June 14, 2013 12:53:26 AMTwitter for Android
Tips for giving a good hand job: use your mouth. Thursday, June 13, 2013 11:30:09 PMTwitter for Android
Is this a pork beef stick? Man, I love beef sticks Thursday, June 13, 2013 5:08:20 PMTwitter for Android
Is thisbanpirk beef stock? Man, I love beef sticks Thursday, June 13, 2013 5:05:14 PMTwitter for Android
Vacation starts now bitches Wednesday, June 12, 2013 7:54:16 PMTwitter for Android
Mystery! Spread its cloak across the sky. Wednesday, June 12, 2013 7:57:29 AMTwitter for Android
Xtina: "I will inject poison into your brain and suck it out your nose" Tuesday, June 11, 2013 8:19:03 PMTwitter for Android
Also, these stumble in property balls are like feathers. Lemmie get a real one Tuesday, June 11, 2013 7:27:43 PMTwitter for Android
Raul's playing the shittiest ass rules in beer pong. Obscure. He BLEW. What kind of guys blow. Guys finger son Tuesday, June 11, 2013 7:27:20 PMTwitter for Android
Legit needed to put ear plugs in to prevent myself from punching this dumb phone assed noisy bitch in the face Monday, June 10, 2013 7:34:58 PMTwitter for Android
Bunch of jokers on this train. Guy with jacket, tie and hardhat. Girl with flip phone making obnoxious key presses/sounds Monday, June 10, 2013 7:21:03 PMTwitter for Android
If deeez fools dont get at leas a 90 this machines bullshit Sunday, June 09, 2013 6:25:22 PMTwitter for Android
I really need to learn to take criticism better Sunday, June 09, 2013 6:09:06 PMTwitter for Android
Maybe I really did suck. Because these other peeps were good and got a 75 Sunday, June 09, 2013 6:06:49 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin.... I got 100% on Alice in chains. Its not that I can't sing. Fuck off Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:15:47 PMTwitter for Android
Um. Eat my dick karaoke machine. I was fuckin 100x better than 52% asswipe Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:11:09 PMTwitter for Android
Balls Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:09:03 PMTwitter for Android
Marks Karaoke may or may not have made me cry Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:00:53 PMTwitter for Android
I'm gonna karaoke sublime and if I dong get above a 94 IMA cry Sunday, June 09, 2013 4:52:19 PMTwitter for Android
I can play the guitar like a mother fuckin riot Sunday, June 09, 2013 4:07:08 PMTwitter for Android
Threesome central station Sunday, June 09, 2013 2:41:19 PMTwitter for Android
Hot http://t.co/jXDsXqvzaq Sunday, June 09, 2013 1:49:56 PMTwitter for Android
I think I just drunk texted my gfs mom Sunday, June 09, 2013 1:18:56 PMTwitter for Android
Tom Petty is my jam. #sundayfunday Sunday, June 09, 2013 1:06:56 PMTwitter for Android
I just whacked myself in the dick with a belt Sunday, June 09, 2013 1:04:48 AMTwitter for Android
Don't fuck with my people. I'll come after you Saturday, June 08, 2013 8:39:06 PMTwitter for Android
I mean. When Lightning Crashes comes on at the bar, I'm getting hammered. @tomwcleary Saturday, June 08, 2013 8:29:32 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: Meet the Mets, Meet the Mets, step right up and waste 8 hours of your day losing to the worst team imaginable. Saturday, June 08, 2013 7:51:07 PMTwitter for Android