9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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I would do a nakey dance on top of Radio City if the Yankees could get out of ARod's contract Saturday, August 03, 2013 5:46:40 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sucking the fattest dick in darts. The mover would be disappointed in me. #worsethanarodintheplayoffs Saturday, August 03, 2013 5:39:47 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Yankees suck a huge D this season and I hope the have Arod killed off
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Saturday, August 03, 2013 5:27:29 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 what is this patience you speak of? I have none, especially if you ride the subway every day
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Saturday, August 03, 2013 5:17:18 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 how do you not want to jump off a bridge rooting for that team?
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Saturday, August 03, 2013 4:48:47 PMTwitter for Android
These chicks this waiter may or may not have tapped are hideous. Legit I'd rather have Mokey get with him. Saturday, August 03, 2013 4:35:00 PMTwitter for Android
Our waiter is 100% banging sluts in the bathroom. Saturday, August 03, 2013 4:21:32 PMTwitter for Android
My Bau has the prettiest blue eyes Saturday, August 03, 2013 4:11:30 PMTwitter for Android
Mokey went blanco Saturday, August 03, 2013 3:22:04 PMTwitter for Android
Mango... I say Mongo Thursday, August 01, 2013 10:01:26 PMTwitter for Android
I'd like to know why the work shitter is always jammed. Can't even take a peaceful crap... Thursday, August 01, 2013 5:38:15 PMTwitter for Android
Happy Moto X announcement/(release?) day! Thursday, August 01, 2013 7:44:51 AMTwitter for Android
Dear tweeps, sorry I was a cray cray on here earlier. I'm chill now. Ya heard?

-jor 		Wednesday, July 31, 2013 11:53:38 PMTwitter for Android
#meltdownlikebynes Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:35:39 AMTwitter for Android
I want to take a baseball bat and destroy shit Big Papi style Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:35:20 AMTwitter for Android
And I'm late. And my phone doesn't type properly or get internet because its a piece of shit. Job took 25 years off my life. Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:34:59 AMTwitter for Android
My fucking scheduled job didn't run last night. This would be the 12th time something fucked up I'm responsible for #fired #failure #useless Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:33:29 AMTwitter for Android
Oh I can see were off to a goo start this fucking morning. #fuckallofyoucunts Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:30:28 AMTwitter for Android
I keep forgetting to watch Ray Donovan. Wednesday, July 31, 2013 3:14:09 AMTwitter for Android
You're officially a douche if you spell Tom "Thom" and Jeff "Geoff" Monday, July 29, 2013 6:48:35 PMTwitter for Android
6 trains are actually pulling into the stations faster than this slow assed 4 I'm on. #nevergettingtowork Monday, July 29, 2013 9:10:02 AMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: Cuncel da career for Alex Rodriguez. Sunday, July 28, 2013 9:42:33 PMTwitter for Android
Lisa: its like a strap on thing you can pee with Sunday, July 28, 2013 12:46:00 AMTwitter for Android
2013 Yankees are cuncelled Sunday, July 28, 2013 12:07:47 AMTwitter for Android
Danny: "Oh! I could win in a projectile vomit contest" Saturday, July 27, 2013 11:56:47 PMTwitter for Android
Its 10 am. I'm wasted. Don't think I'd be able to operate a vehicle. Fuckin Haas party Saturday, July 27, 2013 10:08:16 AMTwitter for Android
Would you believe me if I said sir. Come down and put the charge on me. I wouldn't do that. Saturday, July 27, 2013 2:46:50 AMTwitter for Android
If I don't put @MalJNew on a leash she might uh... Let's be honest... And I'll allow it. Saturday, July 27, 2013 1:30:37 AMTwitter for Android
Mal is obsessiled over Dominican girls' asses so I mean....Threesome? Friday, July 26, 2013 11:48:49 PMTwitter for Android
My Twitter is best Twitter Friday, July 26, 2013 11:34:09 PMTwitter for Android
Just crossed off a coupla never have I evers at Hass' Friday, July 26, 2013 11:24:00 PMTwitter for Android
@BadPointer is a bitch for not coming to Hass' going away party sooner Friday, July 26, 2013 11:13:25 PMTwitter for Android
Yo Neil Young is fuckin tight. Friday, July 26, 2013 11:11:57 PMTwitter for Android
Haas: "Shit. I got so drunk last night I African American'd out" Friday, July 26, 2013 10:09:55 PMTwitter for Android
Just realized something. Sitting alone drinking in Dakota bar with 90s jams and candy crush ain't bad Friday, July 26, 2013 7:37:07 PMTwitter for Android
But why does this piece of shit phone say I have full 3 G but not load webpages? POS Friday, July 26, 2013 8:23:31 AMTwitter for Android
I have nothing to say, so I figured I'd tweet about it Friday, July 26, 2013 2:00:37 AMTwitter for Android
@Waspito feel better. That's the worst. You wake up and its fine, then it sucks. My Dr didn't give me any good shit either
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Wednesday, July 24, 2013 8:44:36 PMTwitter for Android
Lower Manhattan is a fuckin shithole Wednesday, July 24, 2013 3:32:11 PMTwitter for Android
Ran into a Bynes doppelganger. Head half shaved and all Wednesday, July 24, 2013 3:28:10 PMTwitter for Android
Carlos Danger for Mayor! Tuesday, July 23, 2013 7:08:57 PMTwitter for Android
This bed feels like it's deflating, and I'm not even on an air mattress. Heh??? Monday, July 22, 2013 11:48:09 PMTwitter for Android
Caption contest: "Sabato?" http://t.co/TsAm2MSNUL Monday, July 22, 2013 11:32:41 PMTwitter for Android
These work shitters are worse than grand central, traffic-wise. #everonegoaway Monday, July 22, 2013 3:17:45 PMTwitter for Android
I'd bang a Moto X Saturday, July 20, 2013 6:28:49 PMTwitter for Android
With buggy code on them that makes them crash. Winning Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:47:04 PMTwitter for Android
15 minutes until I have to drunk monitor servers that handle millions of dollars of transactions per day. Pumped! Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:46:23 PMTwitter for Android
If I had a daughter, shed never be allowed to dress like @MalJNew Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:43:46 PMTwitter for Android
Mal is hiding my money in her breasts and telling me to find it later #wasted Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:43:06 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew the most tits Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:28:33 PMTwitter for Android
Drama queens http://t.co/ZHZCcSOeXy Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:14:55 PMTwitter for Android
I'm on call for the servers from 4-8. Who wants to party? Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:11:56 PMTwitter for Android
My belly is huge. I'm preggo with mimosas Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:09:06 PMTwitter for Android
Summer can eat my dick. Is it fall yet? Saturday, July 20, 2013 2:58:32 PMTwitter for Android
"I could feed on those for hours. Giuseppe must abuse them" - @ja5la Saturday, July 20, 2013 2:34:23 PMTwitter for Android
Bralic Thursday, July 18, 2013 9:22:44 PMTwitter for Android
@badpointer I'll fuckin tweet right now motherfucker Thursday, July 18, 2013 9:18:53 PMTwitter for Android
Kevin was dying about how I explained Lauren to him Thursday, July 18, 2013 9:17:51 PMTwitter for Android
You're not ruining my night you jealous assed motherfucker eat my dick Thursday, July 18, 2013 8:51:06 PMTwitter for Android
This devil mother fucker made me spill his beer on the pool table. Fuckin waste of $7 Thursday, July 18, 2013 8:31:44 PMTwitter for Android
My own prison is on. #creed. #hatethebandlovethesong Thursday, July 18, 2013 8:12:05 PMTwitter for Android
Freddy: "can I get a giant all beef hot dog?" Thursday, July 18, 2013 7:24:33 PMTwitter for Android
Pitcher 2: The irony is that I'm brining this beer to the meeting I got thrown out of yesterday. Thursday, July 18, 2013 5:13:45 PMTwitter for Android
Direct order from my boss: "Go upstairs and get us a pitcher of beer for the meeting" Thursday, July 18, 2013 4:37:46 PMTwitter for Android
To the dumb bitch who ran into a blind woman with a guide dog in Grand Central... I hope you get run over by a train. Tuesday, July 16, 2013 7:57:14 AMTwitter for Android
Natalia, shut the fuck up Monday, July 15, 2013 2:01:53 PMTwitter for Android
Why the fuck am I sober? Sunday, July 14, 2013 2:16:43 AMTwitter for Android
WHITE PLAINS LMAO Saturday, July 13, 2013 11:58:02 PMTwitter for Android
@ja5la miss ya!
In reply to @ja5la's tweet
Saturday, July 13, 2013 12:27:51 PMTwitter for Android
My head.... Saturday, July 13, 2013 7:39:34 AMTwitter for Android
@Waspito bitch were getting hammered tomorrow
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Saturday, July 13, 2013 12:10:23 AMTwitter for Android
With a little help from booker Saturday, July 13, 2013 12:09:35 AMTwitter for Android
If someone is singing pearl jams Jeremy at the bar I'm legit happy Friday, July 12, 2013 10:13:34 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 the cutest!
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, July 12, 2013 9:21:01 PMTwitter for Android
It could be classified as a weapon but sticks shit together: gluegun Friday, July 12, 2013 8:29:28 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck. Hope I didn't hit my 10k tweet yet Friday, July 12, 2013 8:20:25 PMTwitter for Android
Singing 90s techno with the Product Manager Friday, July 12, 2013 8:19:34 PMTwitter for Android
http://drinkinggames.booker.com/taboo Friday, July 12, 2013 8:13:06 PMTwitter for Android
@Lennon bitch beer is free at booker
In reply to @Lennon's tweet
Friday, July 12, 2013 7:48:55 PMTwitter for Android
Our intern is batshit and awesome. Love it. Friday, July 12, 2013 7:47:55 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Dave Robertson, you twitter slut. Unfollowing! Thursday, July 11, 2013 5:26:52 PMTwitter for Android
Necesita Bau Wednesday, July 10, 2013 6:49:10 PMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam YES. But maybe its not that obvious
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Tuesday, July 09, 2013 10:25:08 PMTwitter for Android
Props to the Metro North conductor screaming "all aboard" out the door. I thought they only do that in movies Tuesday, July 09, 2013 10:18:57 PMTwitter for Android
Beyond abysmal #booker Tuesday, July 09, 2013 10:14:53 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sitting in a meeting talking about measuring performance of something without client requirements. #winning Tuesday, July 09, 2013 2:52:36 PMTwitter for Android
I have an unhealthy Dave Grohl obsession Monday, July 08, 2013 10:46:53 PMTwitter for Android
Watching the Foo Fighters documentary again. I need help. And Dave Grohl Monday, July 08, 2013 10:18:40 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: I tweet so often about which days are "Top 5 worst days of the year for Cube Monkeys" that I've just realized basically ev… Monday, July 08, 2013 4:18:52 PMTwitter for Android
5 tasks. 3.5 days. 2 people. #iquitnow Monday, July 08, 2013 4:13:49 PMTwitter for Android
In the week I've been gone, they've turned my express train into a bunch of local bs. thank you, Bronx track work... Monday, July 08, 2013 8:18:18 AMTwitter for Android
Starting this bullshit again. #booker Monday, July 08, 2013 8:02:53 AMTwitter for Android
How in the actual fuck are you supposed to beat level 17 on Candy Crush? Cannot get those cherries down. Ridiculous Sunday, July 07, 2013 11:05:56 PMTwitter for Android
Is this Dave Robertson's side piece? He can do better than that. Genuine butterface http://t.co/n7miPcsLm5 Sunday, July 07, 2013 6:13:37 PMTwitter for Android
Mission accomplished. Survived a night at the G, 2 games of Ashland kings and made it out without yacking. High five! Friday, July 05, 2013 10:46:12 AMTwitter for Android
This chimichanga is fuckin the ballin http://t.co/04DY2GZK8i Friday, July 05, 2013 1:58:01 AMTwitter for Android
I was born to run Friday, July 05, 2013 1:01:24 AMTwitter for Android
Dude. I just pissed out a fire. It was fuckin awesome. 'Murrrrrica Thursday, July 04, 2013 11:54:05 PMTwitter for Android
"Jesus might be on Conan tonight you guys" -@MalJNew Wednesday, July 03, 2013 11:28:19 PMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 this is the best tweet I've ever read in my life
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Wednesday, July 03, 2013 11:24:20 PMTwitter for Android