| Gonna put @KFCBarstool on suicide watch over this 20 inning mets loss. Typical mets... | Saturday, June 08, 2013 7:50:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I can do the Robert Plant falsetto like a boss. Get at me bitches | Saturday, June 08, 2013 6:02:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I possibly smell just as bad as Swati or Khodaja right now.... | Saturday, June 08, 2013 6:01:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted right now. Couldn't figure out how to get off the escalator | Friday, June 07, 2013 8:57:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I think I'm still drunk | Friday, June 07, 2013 8:10:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Big screen TVs, blunts, and bitches | Thursday, June 06, 2013 9:43:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Stein's a fuckin baller | Thursday, June 06, 2013 9:41:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Derick: "Management will tell you: Money isn't the key to happiness. But that's bullshit because they've got money already" | Thursday, June 06, 2013 9:31:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew way to smoke joker. U missed two shots | Thursday, June 06, 2013 9:06:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Joe Stein is a fuckin baller | Thursday, June 06, 2013 8:16:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Yo. Were going to down the hatch. So uh. Be there or be a dick" | Thursday, June 06, 2013 7:43:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Keep confusing Gabe and George. Oops | Thursday, June 06, 2013 7:34:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude, this room's buzzin. Whoa! It's the great outdoors! | Thursday, June 06, 2013 12:35:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| But he's no Mo.... #ihavechills | Monday, June 03, 2013 10:01:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Love me some Robertson. #mancrushmonday | Monday, June 03, 2013 9:53:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu Yo hot dogs? Bah, sausage and peppers! | Monday, June 03, 2013 9:17:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| LOVIN the Swisher chant from the bleacher creatures! Awwwwwwe | Monday, June 03, 2013 7:23:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Section 203. First time I'm chilling with @baldvinny and the rest of the Bleacher Creatures since 2008 in section 39 in the old house. | Monday, June 03, 2013 7:07:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| OH MY GOD, BARRY is conductor on the 7:36!!! I'm taking this train everyday now. Fuck the 8:02 #tiger #sport #champ #boss #nowiggling | Monday, June 03, 2013 7:39:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Stupid motherfuckin rain. It would start downpouring the minute I left the house. Also, fuckin 4/5 signal probs again... Pieces of shit | Monday, June 03, 2013 7:34:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My fat fuckin ass is walking to the train instead of getting a ride. Gotta add steps for my my Jawbone Up | Monday, June 03, 2013 7:24:45 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo train dude. Pull this rig the fuck out. Ain't got no time to be stopped at Fordham for like 10 mins | Sunday, June 02, 2013 3:18:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The girls in the Cohen's Fashion Optical subway ads are absolutely DTF | Sunday, June 02, 2013 2:47:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mal just posted bullshit on my twitter. I'm changing my phone passcode | Sunday, June 02, 2013 2:05:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just ate a bag of dicks...delicious. | Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:59:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think an old chick just started grinding me | Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:33:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude. The suns coming up | Sunday, June 02, 2013 4:46:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Quiggs ass looks Luke a bag of wet furs | Sunday, June 02, 2013 3:12:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Pimp Juice!!!!! | Sunday, June 02, 2013 2:46:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Coltons dropping dope jams | Sunday, June 02, 2013 2:32:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hood went West Coast | Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:58:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo Edgar's a fuckin riot | Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:35:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Kwabi is at Sues right now | Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:34:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Edgar: "Yo. Fuck this pizza. I need to dance to this jam." | Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:23:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Edgar: "This player's my idol" (Regarding Will Smith) | Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:19:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Edgar: "Did he just Puerto Rican Day Parade you?" | Sunday, June 02, 2013 1:16:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| King Without a Crown has the most epic bassline. I always end up playing air bass to it | Saturday, June 01, 2013 11:58:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bob Dylan + The Band + @MalJNew + Margs + Lightning = awesome | Saturday, June 01, 2013 9:57:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| That's right... @__JLu @kerbear88 http://t.co/IDHSmyD4jU | Saturday, June 01, 2013 8:18:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Led Zeppelin loving cabbie is TIGHT | Saturday, June 01, 2013 1:04:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Cabbie is borat | Saturday, June 01, 2013 12:53:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo. I'm rootin for Derick and Cho to bang. They're the cutest | Saturday, June 01, 2013 12:32:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude. Stop being a pussy and just show him ur tits and suck his dick.... For real. No bitchin on twitter. Shoulda woulda coulda #fail | Friday, May 31, 2013 10:52:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I want a lap dance from Antonia | Friday, May 31, 2013 7:50:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I see Texiera is back. His vagina healed nicely. | Friday, May 31, 2013 7:43:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Aniusha: "Players talking about sticking needles through your dick and shit" | Friday, May 31, 2013 2:50:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck the fuckin 4/5 train in the ass with a chainsaw | Friday, May 31, 2013 9:30:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp. Didn't fart or poop myself on this train home #greatsuccess | Friday, May 31, 2013 1:10:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna get drunk tomorrow and call Eric a cuntmunch | Friday, May 31, 2013 1:03:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo. Had a draft of a tweet that made no sense. Don't even know what I was trying to say | Friday, May 31, 2013 12:48:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @thomaswood http://t.co/F1XMkskXkV #metsaretheworst | Friday, May 31, 2013 12:33:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Since when does the lower lever of GCT close early. This is bullshit. Ima piss all over the train bc they suck | Friday, May 31, 2013 12:12:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Mad po po in this station. Safe. Yeahhhhh buddy | Thursday, May 30, 2013 11:50:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Julissa was like "GIOOOO how'd you get that tan" and I was like "Went to Vegas bro" | Thursday, May 30, 2013 11:16:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @KFCBarstool eat a dick. Mets always have and always will suck. | Thursday, May 30, 2013 10:41:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| So drunk I tried to throw my cup into a speaker instead of a garbage can | Thursday, May 30, 2013 10:39:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm legit scared at what my tab's gonna be at this clip joint assed place. But: #yolo #bdayweekend | Thursday, May 30, 2013 9:35:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Gio: "I only give 6s and 7s. Everybody passes" | Thursday, May 30, 2013 9:18:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
@kerbear88 fuck the fuckin subway In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Thursday, May 30, 2013 8:44:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| freshmen girls: Your mouth can't get pregnant | Thursday, May 30, 2013 8:31:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Its totes not 97, but I still hate the heat | Thursday, May 30, 2013 1:52:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This is bullshit http://t.co/oUPctyEUY7 | Thursday, May 30, 2013 1:49:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| We need to get this API developer Justin a lap dance and some strippers | Thursday, May 30, 2013 10:34:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Just ripped ass on the train badly & got the WORST look from these two Asians in front of me. probs making fun of me in Japanese. #whatever | Wednesday, May 29, 2013 11:12:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm pretty sure I dropped double what I ate over Memorial Day weekend... This is why I wasn't at my desk all day. | Wednesday, May 29, 2013 1:24:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This is some bullshit | Tuesday, May 28, 2013 11:37:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mother fuckin Michael Kay... God damn it... I knew Rivera was fucked the minute he said he was perfect all season | Tuesday, May 28, 2013 11:34:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Michael Kay just jinxed Rivera. Mark my words. | Tuesday, May 28, 2013 11:30:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Can I get some coffee with that iced milk. You fuckin assholes. @DunkinDonuts http://t.co/paSVzwSWwc | Tuesday, May 28, 2013 8:48:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| BYNES!!!!! | Monday, May 27, 2013 9:59:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Had so much fun with my @MalJNew today!!! 👍😃 | Monday, May 27, 2013 9:50:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Philip 👍👍 | Monday, May 27, 2013 9:12:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean. The only reason Hughes wasn't blown out was because I tweeted he would've been. | Monday, May 27, 2013 9:05:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hughes is pitching tonight? Yanks are fucked | Monday, May 27, 2013 7:21:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @dannyrob88 #NoTouching | Monday, May 27, 2013 4:58:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "What... We didn't make out or anything. I just gave him a blow job" hhhhhh | Sunday, May 26, 2013 8:20:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm in slow motion right now | Sunday, May 26, 2013 4:04:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| She went from Long Beach down to L.A | Saturday, May 25, 2013 9:37:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also this Valorie chick is fuckin crazy | Saturday, May 25, 2013 8:18:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just told a gay I was straight but gay for Dave Grohl. Hhhhhh | Saturday, May 25, 2013 8:13:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh the irony... Tried to call Google Play support from Google voice in gmail but it couldn't detect my mic. #googlefail | Saturday, May 25, 2013 10:02:56 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin washout. What a waste of Memorial Day Weekend | Friday, May 24, 2013 4:46:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Best shit reference ever: "Yo. I'm taking the Browns to the Superbowl" @MalJNew | Thursday, May 23, 2013 9:31:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You do realize that I basically jizz my pants every time Pearl Jam's Black comes on at the bar, right? | Thursday, May 23, 2013 9:08:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
@kerbear88 fuckin shithole In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Thursday, May 23, 2013 7:12:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #craigsagersuit | Wednesday, May 22, 2013 8:47:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @thomaswood touche. | Tuesday, May 21, 2013 7:18:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Somehow, it always comes down to this http://t.co/K1DhHxwMi8 | Tuesday, May 21, 2013 9:42:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Finally, the MTA has done something right. AC on full blast. It's an ice cube in here and I LOVE it! | Tuesday, May 21, 2013 8:07:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
@MalJNew I don't have a big ego. I have an awesome ego In reply to @MalJNew's tweet | Tuesday, May 21, 2013 8:00:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Almost just fell asleep standing on the train. Freaked then car out because I looked like I was going to collapse | Monday, May 20, 2013 6:58:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| She likes to burn | Saturday, May 18, 2013 11:17:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit and corruption | Saturday, May 18, 2013 11:08:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm just the happiest!!!!! | Saturday, May 18, 2013 10:56:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wait a sec.... Is it narcissistic to jack off to a picture of yourself? I mean look at me. I'm just sayin. Its gotta be fine... | Saturday, May 18, 2013 10:08:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This N train smells like cigarettes and dirty, sweaty sponges | Saturday, May 18, 2013 6:36:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck you man. I just doused myself in coke | Thursday, May 16, 2013 11:38:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Relax and take notes | Thursday, May 16, 2013 10:36:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This game is ugly | Thursday, May 16, 2013 10:30:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Xtina: "You God damned slack jawed junk slut" | Thursday, May 16, 2013 9:06:00 PM | Twitter for Android |