9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Clune. Don't even try to bend your ass at me like that. This is dangerous | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 9:19:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Executive assistant just caught me talking to myself in the kitchen doing a Joba style fistpump saying "Robocopy is the tits!" #resigning | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 5:43:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This is the ugliest assed pigeon I've ever seen in my life. Bro, get your feathers together. You're horrid. http://t.co/TAwwSD62K1 | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 2:32:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Testing. Tweeting from a known poor service area. | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 8:07:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| False alarm. Its fine... Also, Verizon outage in my hood. Confirmed on 2 other phones | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 2:01:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You've gotta be fucking kidding me. This piece of shit Moto X doesn't have inline mic support on the headphone jack? No square, jawbone up. | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 1:54:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| For my first tweet on my new Moto X, I'd like to point out that I hate my fat fuckin double chin | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 1:41:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: Hannah McKay is so sexy I'd 100% risk her poisoning me to death just for a chance to hit it #Dexter | Tuesday, September 03, 2013 11:23:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking @VZWSupport. Whose dick do I have to suck to activate a phone? Their automated system refuses to activate this thing | Tuesday, September 03, 2013 8:21:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The elevators at 22 Cortlandt are slower than your mom | Tuesday, September 03, 2013 5:10:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo Twitter: @Colithika is my MANG | Monday, September 02, 2013 9:42:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: listen to Brent Ozar. @GetBooker | Monday, September 02, 2013 8:20:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: don't do the power hour with champagne. (1) You'll run out by like the 15th minute (2) The reflux is the worst | Monday, September 02, 2013 8:20:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The money and alcohol the life of a west side playa | Monday, September 02, 2013 7:58:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hold the phone... This new software may have fixed these ass radios in my phone. Just tweeted from Crestwood where there's always no service | Monday, September 02, 2013 1:19:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't think its remotely possible to get dealt a worse off hand in candy crush. Didn't clear one jelly the whole time | Monday, September 02, 2013 1:18:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ain't nothing better than having to do 8am server maintenance on Labor Day... #cuncelmyfreedom | Monday, September 02, 2013 1:08:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Absolutely crippled. I pulled every possible upper body muscle doing some pole acrobatics on the R train Friday night... I'm batshit crazy | Monday, September 02, 2013 12:20:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| If this dumbass country goes to war with Syria, I'm gonna cuncel America. | Sunday, September 01, 2013 10:49:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Second week in a row I fucked up the Sunday Sudoku in the Daily News. Dumbass bitch... So mad at myself. | Sunday, September 01, 2013 8:36:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm called a Bau! I'm not about to blow it now for all the Baus | Saturday, August 31, 2013 9:00:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I bet @SonicBlur23 goes on chickenpubes .com on a regular basis. | Saturday, August 31, 2013 6:51:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Where does one purchase ground bison meat? | Saturday, August 31, 2013 6:35:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Chillllllin this fine Saturday. Brahs | Saturday, August 31, 2013 2:45:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just got called in to do an emergency release at work because our devs can't use dates. September 31 crashed our app guys | Saturday, August 31, 2013 2:33:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mad question askin, blunt passin... | Friday, August 30, 2013 8:50:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| C notes by the layers, true fuckin players | Friday, August 30, 2013 8:48:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My superiors need to stop giving me titty twisters at the bar, especially when I'm on call. | Friday, August 30, 2013 8:46:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Gave up on the cheeseburger idea for a falafel cart. Then gave up on that and got papa johns instead. Hhhhb | Thursday, August 29, 2013 11:09:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #positivetweets | Wednesday, August 28, 2013 10:06:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The a/c in this train is phenominal | Wednesday, August 28, 2013 10:06:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Upgraded my gnex to 4.3. Works grand | Wednesday, August 28, 2013 9:59:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin Windows 98 was more stable than our system | Tuesday, August 27, 2013 8:03:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @GadsdenMarc: When we attack Syria because of WMDs and we find out there are no WMDs in Syria, do we get to incessantly call for Obama's… | Tuesday, August 27, 2013 11:01:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My old assed galaxy nexus can eat a dick next week. Moto X here I come. We hope the internet works better on it. This one sucked since day 1 | Monday, August 26, 2013 6:26:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: Chris Christie's FUPA - Stronger Than The Storm | Sunday, August 25, 2013 5:35:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: How much money do you think Chris Christie would have to pay a woman to go down on him? 1 billion? 2? Infinity? | Sunday, August 25, 2013 5:33:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Saukerlina | Sunday, August 25, 2013 3:16:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yes. I was at one of Microsoft's facilities the day Steve Ballmer decided to pack it in. #noonecares #uselesstweet | Sunday, August 25, 2013 1:10:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Mal and I may fight over the drummer | Saturday, August 24, 2013 8:28:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This guy playing guitar at Quincy Market is 100% @JFeitelberg from barstool. 100% | Saturday, August 24, 2013 8:27:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cheers to @MalJNew selling @getbooker at the bar | Saturday, August 24, 2013 8:20:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wtf is this magical orange jellybean acid trip tree? http://t.co/f7MkWNuaQq | Saturday, August 24, 2013 1:50:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I legit haven't tweeted much in a while soooo now I'm doing it. | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:43:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm the cockiest. Get it? | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:43:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Anyone remember that system song about how my cock is much bigger than yours? Well, it is. | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:39:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| We don't need no charlie card we taking cabs home taking taking cabs home (or hitchin a ride with max) | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:37:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lurking timid Englishman | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:36:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lacking twat emphasis | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:35:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lumpy tumor emergency | Friday, August 23, 2013 11:32:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Limited Titty Embrace? Lithium tits exposed? | Friday, August 23, 2013 11:30:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Verizon 4G LTE. What does that stand for? Left Testicle exposed? Lick the elbow? | Friday, August 23, 2013 11:27:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Annnnnnd I ended up in the hood in Boston | Friday, August 23, 2013 11:01:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wow the LIRR is a piece of shit. How are there no seats at 10:40 Am off peak? | Friday, August 23, 2013 10:39:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm the gayest for steel drums | Thursday, August 22, 2013 8:22:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Whoever's got the herbs up in this bitch. Sheeeeeit | Thursday, August 22, 2013 7:11:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cheeseburger in paradise bitches | Thursday, August 22, 2013 6:08:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| ¿En los jorts? | Thursday, August 22, 2013 5:06:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get a load of this old stud mackin it on the grannies http://t.co/M6xnhpZRWw | Thursday, August 22, 2013 4:57:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My reaction to motherfuckers who disagree with how I run the build system http://t.co/Tq018XWyK0 | Thursday, August 22, 2013 2:21:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is it fall yet? | Wednesday, August 21, 2013 7:22:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Spoiler alert: 95% of this week's Dexter was sexual tension and him banging Hannah. 5% were actual plot events | Tuesday, August 20, 2013 11:53:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| She was an american girl. | Saturday, August 17, 2013 6:15:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sorry. I couldn't see anything over how shiny Aurigemma's wife's engagement ring is. | Saturday, August 17, 2013 5:45:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why don't you tweet "don't tell me when to take lunch you're an asshole" Eric | Saturday, August 17, 2013 5:01:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| System crashed this weekend. No one on duty. I'm fired | Saturday, August 17, 2013 4:36:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These farting motherfuckers left without saying bye? What a bunch of assholes. | Saturday, August 17, 2013 4:20:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I'm a little short on cash this week so if you don't want me to open my mouth, you better be taking me to a a steak dinner" | Saturday, August 17, 2013 4:02:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm am SO doing Creed karaoke later.... 🎵🎵SHOULDVE BEEN DEAD ON A SUNDAY MORNING🎵🎵 | Saturday, August 17, 2013 3:11:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Props to the 1993 Chevy Lumina van rockin the club on the steering wheel. You know that's the hot ride to steal these days. | Saturday, August 17, 2013 12:36:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| LudaChristmas | Thursday, August 15, 2013 9:47:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| BSB I want it that way music video on at the bar. Reminds me if me and @SonicBlur23 in the car | Thursday, August 15, 2013 9:19:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm a linebacker! | Tuesday, August 13, 2013 8:26:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| A chick biting her lip is like "hey we need to fuck right now" right? | Saturday, August 10, 2013 7:16:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Presidente | Saturday, August 10, 2013 6:39:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mal is all ratchet | Saturday, August 10, 2013 3:55:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mr. Boombastic | Saturday, August 10, 2013 3:41:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted | Saturday, August 10, 2013 3:33:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bau cured my hiccups | Saturday, August 10, 2013 3:10:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @XtinaSchelin happy birffday xtina, my favorite script kiddie!!! #python #.net In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet | Saturday, August 10, 2013 2:19:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mal's so smart looking in glasses. I'd bang her. | Saturday, August 10, 2013 2:16:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Girl u look good when you back that app up | Saturday, August 10, 2013 2:15:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lotta cookies here | Saturday, August 10, 2013 1:26:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| pregaming shit is the worst. Almost peed myself you guys | Saturday, August 10, 2013 1:17:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RHYTHM IS A DANCERR | Saturday, August 10, 2013 12:14:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 90s techno and champagne. LA Bouche, Amber, Mr.President, Quad City DJs,Technotronic... I'm the straightest... | Saturday, August 10, 2013 12:03:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bartender at Dakota has the most sand in her vajay. | Friday, August 09, 2013 9:30:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| STP on at the bar. I'm fucking pumped #arodsucks | Friday, August 09, 2013 8:47:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| At the bar. Yankee game on. Wish I could get audio on the ARod Bronx cheer | Friday, August 09, 2013 8:12:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My boss has a cock on his shirt. Thanks Alex for pointing this out. | Friday, August 09, 2013 7:24:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I cuncelled them on April 1st RT @KFCBarstool Oh and I forgot, Cuncel Da Yankees In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet | Thursday, August 08, 2013 1:14:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Entennmann's cake. Made with REAL walnuts. As opposed to fake ones... http://t.co/TMfqSLc0Dv | Thursday, August 08, 2013 12:48:56 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The Yankees suck a mean dick. I mean, if you go 1-16 with RISP and led twice in the bottom 9th and x-inning on the rd, you deserve to lose | Thursday, August 08, 2013 12:15:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The story of my life with this piece of shit phone: no internet http://t.co/KNo53qIHf1 | Wednesday, August 07, 2013 7:05:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Whoever dropped a deuce in this office shitter stuck out not only the whole bathroom, but the whole corridor leading up to the bathroom | Tuesday, August 06, 2013 6:14:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our database makes me want to shake a bitch | Monday, August 05, 2013 5:28:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Woman. There is no reason for your stroller and five kids to take up the whole subway platform. have fewer kids. | Monday, August 05, 2013 9:06:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hated that dude since day 1. @keith_connors what does deuce think now son | Saturday, August 03, 2013 6:32:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck arod | Saturday, August 03, 2013 6:31:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm coming worse than Arod and I don't even do steroids | Saturday, August 03, 2013 6:31:00 PM | Twitter for Android |