| I just wanna get silly and color a picture | Thursday, November 14, 2013 8:10:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Told jeans my shirt said booker sucks | Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:46:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jeans. Hire me for 3/4 of my salary and its a deal. | Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:42:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| DLK 2106 | Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:34:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Edgar's the shit | Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:07:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Drank a little bit at uncubed and told @fogcreek than Kiln is slow as fuck | Thursday, November 14, 2013 6:51:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pregaming uncubed at the bar. Gotta be loose and conversational to recruit like a bosh | Thursday, November 14, 2013 1:52:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The MTA can suck three dicks | Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:40:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| If you need me tomorrow, I'll be shitfaced at @getuncubed. You can find me undefeated at the Booker beer pong table | Wednesday, November 13, 2013 7:24:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| ❄ It's ls 's snowing!!! ❄ | Tuesday, November 12, 2013 8:00:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Now that the series ended, I just started watching Breaking Bad. I've made a huge mistake. | Sunday, November 10, 2013 8:06:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna run train on this buffet | Saturday, November 09, 2013 5:52:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
@Lennon deal In reply to @Lennon's tweet | Thursday, November 07, 2013 2:14:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
@Lennon all black everything In reply to @Lennon's tweet | Wednesday, November 06, 2013 11:53:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just had a great idea for a band. Sad lyrics but very upbeat and happy. #mindfuck | Wednesday, November 06, 2013 11:51:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| on the plus side, zero calorie dinner! | Wednesday, November 06, 2013 11:28:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How'd I yack up like 4 beers? I'm such a pussy | Wednesday, November 06, 2013 11:04:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Growlers is the whitest. Especially for tuckahoe | Wednesday, November 06, 2013 10:22:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just called a sombrero a piñerito. #cray | Tuesday, November 05, 2013 9:29:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| McGivern. Eat a fucking dick | Monday, November 04, 2013 3:31:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| And I especially hate that fuckin guy John who's here three days a week and is an old fucking suit who does nothing but bark orders | Monday, November 04, 2013 8:07:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I fucking hate Mondays, Booker, this pedo mustache, the MTA, the 8:02 express from Scarsdale, the 4/5, Lower Manhattan and pooping a lot | Monday, November 04, 2013 8:03:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
@smstemp this explains it all http://t.co/lMJX6Q7gtV In reply to @smstemp's tweet | Sunday, November 03, 2013 8:18:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mary Poppins the bitch from sound of music | Thursday, October 31, 2013 10:35:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pat said it, so its written in stone | Thursday, October 31, 2013 10:15:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| We're just gonna fuckin play with this sock for 3 hours, I don't give a shit | Thursday, October 31, 2013 10:10:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Halloween theme brah #Knicks | Thursday, October 31, 2013 9:38:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's not racist if it's true.... | Thursday, October 31, 2013 9:22:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 40 wings, 2 burgers, spinach dip and loaded fries. 5 people #rollmehome | Thursday, October 31, 2013 8:38:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo. I need food stat | Thursday, October 31, 2013 8:29:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @KFCBarstool Jesus Christ. These are my sales guys. I shit you not | Thursday, October 31, 2013 4:01:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Chris Christie , The Governor" commercial is spot on. Fuckin guy | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:33:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ken Rosenthal's pussy is so wet right now | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:26:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How much pussy is Papi raking in with that Ski mask | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:25:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mothafuckin beards | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:24:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hhh can't type. Wastey | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:08:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Being a lifeguard is gonna be a real problem you guys. I'm gonna get drink and blow my whistle in suits' faces to puts them off | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:00:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This guy needs to shut his whore mouth | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:09:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I want to beat the fuck out of something | Tuesday, October 29, 2013 8:32:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
@MalJNew the woman is supposed to bring ME a sandwich In reply to @MalJNew's tweet | Monday, October 28, 2013 12:41:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The fact that I'm not hungover is 110% blowing my mind | Sunday, October 27, 2013 8:57:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't remember any of my tweets from last night past the one where I said I was borderline blackout | Sunday, October 27, 2013 8:54:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Don't you know about the bird? B-bb*bird bird bird. Bird is the word | Sunday, October 27, 2013 1:16:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hhh | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:57:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hhhhhhhwasted http://t.co/510MQVPyZI | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:33:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted and watching scream 2 @MalJNew is jelly enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyy | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:24:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
Danny
Put your mask on cuntt | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:19:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:05:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| JOHN . Pass the wii | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:05:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Danny just asked me to bring him a water with ice. Fuckin pussy. Drink alcohol bitch | Saturday, October 26, 2013 11:36:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit if I play kings again I'm blacking out | Saturday, October 26, 2013 9:46:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm sitting next to a priest and a scarecrow | Saturday, October 26, 2013 8:59:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @KFCBarstool one time I accidentally stole Drinkwater's seat and I was scared for my life | Saturday, October 26, 2013 8:51:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This pizza smells like the underside of a dick | Saturday, October 26, 2013 7:53:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew sorry I got mad at your can opener. Hhhhhh | Wednesday, October 23, 2013 10:25:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| When half the sales team and VPs are in Vegas getting hammered and selling our shit, and I'm here listening to this suit.... Eat a dick. | Tuesday, October 22, 2013 11:03:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "I've only been doing releases for two years, John. I've only gotten good them since you started" #eatadick | Tuesday, October 22, 2013 10:44:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I may have just pooped a cobra | Sunday, October 20, 2013 3:56:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Legit almost just inhaled a yellow jacket. It was on my lips. | Sunday, October 20, 2013 10:20:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm sorry, but 90s Alternative Pandora is like the best music possible | Saturday, October 19, 2013 4:37:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| HANGRY | Friday, October 18, 2013 11:55:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why is there no motherfuckin food anywhere near this plave | Friday, October 18, 2013 11:52:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Iight dude. stop bending your fingers in possessed assed ways. we know you're straight out of the exorcist | Friday, October 18, 2013 11:05:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There's only one solution for this malocchio. Guys gotta disappear | Friday, October 18, 2013 10:24:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| And the cops are here again | Friday, October 18, 2013 9:54:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp. They're gonna sing Pony at karaoke. This is a song you're supposed to like, fuck to or something | Friday, October 18, 2013 9:52:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Never have I ever taken a shit on a Metro North train (and I shit a lot) | Thursday, October 17, 2013 11:05:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wait. shit this isn't funny. He's really pissed at me | Thursday, October 17, 2013 9:25:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| me: "Oh fuck. I just got a server alert and I'm on call. I don't have my laptop. Eh its fine, no one will know. Kev: "JOE!!! I'M YOUR BOSS" | Thursday, October 17, 2013 9:15:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Shots!!! ON MY GAP CARD. Because its colorful" @MalJNew | Thursday, October 17, 2013 9:05:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @GadsdenMarc Cuncel 'Murica | Wednesday, October 16, 2013 11:36:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "UGH. look at all those moles" "Yeah. She didn't age well" | Wednesday, October 16, 2013 11:33:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just went hysterical laughing in the middle of a meeting because I was reading @KFCBarstool ripping Francesa #NumbahOne | Wednesday, October 16, 2013 5:07:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Absolute disgrace, Verizon 4G. Hardly ever works. F- | Wednesday, October 16, 2013 8:14:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Guy on my train has an amazing moustache | Tuesday, October 15, 2013 7:32:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus fucking Christ. This food guy cannot be slower. Go down south bro. This is NEW YORK. | Tuesday, October 15, 2013 11:04:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Didn't eat breakfast, gotta take a wicked pissah and I'm in back to back meetings. Fuck off, all of youse | Tuesday, October 15, 2013 10:42:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Laura Bush killed a guy | Monday, October 14, 2013 9:02:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Comicon chicks must be the kinkiest. Like DTF to the max | Sunday, October 13, 2013 4:18:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What's the over/under Gaurav shit his pants at work? | Sunday, October 13, 2013 2:38:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think I accidentally got drunk | Sunday, October 13, 2013 2:24:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I poop a lot | Sunday, October 13, 2013 11:03:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I 100% guarantee you we cannot lose Derick. He's 100% fucking filling us like a lapdog | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 11:55:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
@Lennon take it off Lennon In reply to @Lennon's tweet | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 11:21:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| OMG Ja Rule and Ashanti What's Luv karaoke? Takes me back to my 7th grade days with my R&B bus driver blasting Hot 97 an KISS FM | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 10:02:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 2 mins after I tweeted that they took off. You think I'm stupid? I know they read this shit son | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 8:59:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bros.. At least be under cover. I see you. | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 8:56:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I swear to God.... Someone needs to pull this NYPD detail off me. Third night in a row I was out being tailed. http://t.co/90Ws3ELkZc | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 8:55:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If I get drunk enough, I'm gonna karaoke Stacy's mom and replace the lyrics with Alina's mom | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 7:58:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Alina's here. Is it rude if I ask her to invite her mom? | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 7:42:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Donde esta el barkeep? | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 7:28:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Candy Crush Rehab, LLC. @MalJNew | Monday, October 07, 2013 10:53:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think the NYPD has me tailed. I am seeing police everywhere I go and someone just took my picture | Monday, October 07, 2013 9:00:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How the fuck are you supposed to get shit done when you're on meetings 90% of the day talking about stupid bullshit | Monday, October 07, 2013 4:48:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If the system does not crash once this week, I'll grow a neck beard, wear jorts and a rock a beater on Monday. Confident I won't have to. | Monday, October 07, 2013 2:09:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My aunt: "She looks like an old hooker" | Sunday, October 06, 2013 7:48:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Let me tickle your flapjacks" -@MalJNew | Sunday, October 06, 2013 2:46:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Alina's mom isn't a milf. She's a certified milf. | Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:29:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is that out of suspicion, or knowledge? | Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:18:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Alina's mom has got it going on | Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:15:21 PM | Twitter for Android |