9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
« Back to Source List

Page 58 of 96 | Showing 5701 to 5800
TweetDateSource
"Dude. Bob Marley is where it's at" Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:08:38 PMTwitter for Android
Ben and Jerry's yo Monday, January 27, 2014 9:37:17 PMTwitter for Android
@AP Good. I'm sick of motherfuckers getting free handouts and I have to pay through the nose for everything
In reply to @AP's tweet
Monday, January 27, 2014 6:56:20 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking MTA Monday, January 27, 2014 6:54:54 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu for sure not. A washed up suit reads a list three times per week. Means nothing to me.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, January 27, 2014 10:48:07 AMTwitter for Android
This meeting sucks a dick Monday, January 27, 2014 10:34:36 AMTwitter for Android
Cannot wait until March where I don't have to ride this shitty failroad every day Monday, January 27, 2014 8:49:40 AMTwitter for Android
MY 8:00 TRAIN JUST SHOWED UP. Why do I pay these incompetents? #MTA #MetroNorth Monday, January 27, 2014 8:14:48 AMTwitter for Android
Tonight's episode of Girls was 100% boring and an utter pile of shit. Monday, January 27, 2014 2:09:12 AMTwitter for Android
Bang bang. David on the drums Sunday, January 26, 2014 11:41:16 PMTwitter for Android
Is Madonna real? She looks fake. Sunday, January 26, 2014 11:13:28 PMTwitter for Android
Steven Tyler is ugly as fuck Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:57:33 PMTwitter for Android
Hetfield is all gray and clean shaven? The fuck Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:54:12 PMTwitter for Android
Is it me or does Lorde look like she's going to have a seizure at any given moment? Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:43:58 PMTwitter for Android
I guess I really do do the Stevie Wonder head thing when I'm blackout and singing. I call it Stevie Wondering Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:31:08 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: No wait I SERIOUSLY thought Willie Nelson was dead. Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:19:48 PMTwitter for Android
Didn't yack. Great success! Sunday, January 26, 2014 11:15:40 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin wasted at the German restaurant and ordered some fat sausage for my fat face. Sunday, January 26, 2014 1:33:07 AMTwitter for Android
@portfolioso
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:50:52 AMTwitter for Android
The POS in this bar is running on Windows XP. For fucks sake. It's 2014, not 2002 Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:48:57 AMTwitter for Android
I'm wasted Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:42:15 AMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure I was just driven by a milNOTf with BAC of .20 Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:30:43 AMTwitter for Android
"Jesus Mary on the Christ" Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:27:30 AMTwitter for Android
The driver "You're such a fuckin pussy bitch" Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:23:27 AMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure a mother I wouldn't like to fuck is diving us Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:20:18 AMTwitter for Android
Christ. If a cop pulls us over, we're fucked Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:18:25 AMTwitter for Android
Went to close my tab. Bar said I owed nothing. Said I had three drinks for karma but like 4 peeps drank on my tab. Enjoyyyyy Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:13:42 AMTwitter for Android
Please explain how I shattered a glass while I was drinking it and didn't notice Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:35:17 PMTwitter for Android
I read some people's Twitters and they're so sad... I'm so grateful for everything. Also shouts to gma. I'm in her old hood. Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:19:55 PMTwitter for Android
Honest to God. This is more fun than I ever had at the Grape with the exception of the night of graduation Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:17:42 PMTwitter for Android
I'd probably pay $100 for a Johnny-fuck-me-up right now. Would get me wasted @MalJNew Saturday, January 25, 2014 10:54:28 PMTwitter for Android
Wait a sec. Are the girls naked in Robin Thicke's blurred lines video, or is it just because I'm at a gay bar and its acceptable? Saturday, January 25, 2014 9:58:45 PMTwitter for Android
I love the aunties! Saturday, January 25, 2014 9:53:23 PMTwitter for Android
Only for tabco use http://t.co/ks53qwWnow Saturday, January 25, 2014 8:29:32 PMTwitter for Android
@MichaelShatin: "Savage Garden is playing at my wedding" Saturday, January 25, 2014 8:03:51 PMTwitter for Android
Savage Garden is on? Haven't heard that since the 90s. I'm getting hammered tonight Saturday, January 25, 2014 8:02:15 PMTwitter for Android
Good thing the gf is cool. Found out I follow @JenSelter on my other twitter account and was like... I saw asses everywhere Saturday, January 25, 2014 7:35:20 PMTwitter for Android
Bartenders story about playing the bongos on a chicks ass completely blackout almost made me piss myself Saturday, January 25, 2014 7:23:57 PMTwitter for Android
These Dillenger wings. I might cum Saturday, January 25, 2014 6:46:46 PMTwitter for Android
Me: "It's 20°F right now."
Pops: "Yeah, they said it was going to roast today" 		Saturday, January 25, 2014 9:03:13 AMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam too busy doing radio to blog
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Friday, January 24, 2014 7:23:14 PMTwitter for Android
Possible Super Bowl date change because of the weather? Fucking pussies. This country has gone soft Friday, January 24, 2014 7:08:04 PMTwitter for Android
Why is this cocksucker metro north train stopped. Go you piece of shit Friday, January 24, 2014 6:46:49 PMTwitter for Android
Its cool though. I turned it around. If not I'd drop dead of a heart attack at 35 Thursday, January 23, 2014 9:19:29 PMTwitter for Android
Its like 12 out and I've been walking for 20 mins. No hat. No gloves. Not even cold. Fuckin psycho Thursday, January 23, 2014 9:12:34 PMTwitter for Android
And FUCK the fucking MTA http://t.co/9mN7A2Iqbb Thursday, January 23, 2014 9:02:29 PMTwitter for Android
I feel like all I do in this god forsaken city is stand in ducking crowds on fucking trains. New York sucks Thursday, January 23, 2014 8:59:59 PMTwitter for Android
The MTA took 30 years off my life Thursday, January 23, 2014 8:51:32 PMTwitter for Android
Okay, @maljnew stole my tablet and tweeted that. Although I cannot confirm nor deny the last statement Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:54:42 AMTwitter for Android
One time I pooped my pants. Man it was so cool. Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:49:37 AMTwitter for Android
@BadPointer .NETfiddle brah
In reply to @BadPointer's tweet
Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:33:35 AMTwitter for Android
Time Warner sucks absolute dick. Worst. ISP. Ever. Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:32:26 AMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: If you're not gettin' blackout bombed for Guy Fieri's b-day, you might as well just groan out a hot whizz on the American fla… Wednesday, January 22, 2014 11:21:27 PMTwitter for Android
I said one line during that whole meeting. It was a joke. They laughed Wednesday, January 22, 2014 5:51:35 PMTwitter for Android
Is this conference room haunted? There are ridiculous temperature swings here Wednesday, January 22, 2014 5:01:29 PMTwitter for Android
I'm about to dropkick our director of engineering Wednesday, January 22, 2014 4:41:21 PMTwitter for Android
In a 2 hr meeting. Conference room is 85. FML Wednesday, January 22, 2014 4:13:53 PMTwitter for Android
I'm batshit crazy Monday, January 20, 2014 7:55:57 PMTwitter for Android
Unbelievably hot on this train. Gotta turn that heat all the way up in honor of #MLK We're not wearing winter coats or anythig Monday, January 20, 2014 6:59:09 PMTwitter for Android
I am now in a Twitter fight with @waspito. We are fighting over Jennifer Lawrence. Sunday, January 19, 2014 1:09:11 AMTwitter for Android
Sorry Mal. Gonna go see my gf Jennifer in American Hustle tonight. Saturday, January 18, 2014 9:08:15 PMTwitter for Android
There ya go man. Keep as cool as you can Saturday, January 18, 2014 3:10:07 AMTwitter for Android
Guy with the harmonica singing piano man is gonna pull in mad pussy even though he's ugly and bald as fuck. Friday, January 17, 2014 11:34:18 PMTwitter for Android
This gentleman singing Like a Virgin at karaoke must be missing his testicles. Thought a woman was singing. Pretty good tho Friday, January 17, 2014 11:07:14 PMTwitter for Android
Such a narcissist. Just looked at my reflection in a tap handle and couldn't get over how fuckin hot I am Friday, January 17, 2014 9:37:47 PMTwitter for Android
I'm rooting for this guy and two smokes at the bar to have a threesome Friday, January 17, 2014 9:15:59 PMTwitter for Android
Happy bday grandma Friday, January 17, 2014 8:57:45 PMTwitter for Android
Wake up in the morning feeling like @tomwcleary Friday, January 17, 2014 8:32:03 PMTwitter for Android
90s techno on at the bar. I'm getting wasted #bemyloverwannabemylover Friday, January 17, 2014 8:15:12 PMTwitter for Android
72 weeks in a row at bars, according to foursquare. I need to get my life together Friday, January 17, 2014 6:41:14 PMTwitter for Android
I'd be slightly jealous that @BarstoolJJ is on a bender, but I'm three deep at the bar on lunch. Friday, January 17, 2014 2:15:01 PMTwitter for Android
Bald eagle eyebrows Thursday, January 16, 2014 10:22:50 PMTwitter for Android
Those are what I call dick wrecking boots Thursday, January 16, 2014 6:37:32 PMTwitter for Android
If you wear shorts and a winter coat on the subway in January, you're a certified psychopath. #serialkiller http://t.co/atjhQUmEaK Thursday, January 16, 2014 10:21:03 AMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: I hear the 4,5,6 line is real pleasant tonight. For sure not. Wednesday, January 15, 2014 8:13:57 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu ...said no one ever, except this clown.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, January 15, 2014 8:12:46 PMTwitter for Android
I like wearing sneakers, my dude Monday, January 13, 2014 10:11:17 PMTwitter for Android
John. Shut the fuck up Monday, January 13, 2014 5:56:11 PMTwitter for Android
Security guys just have no fucking idea and are the least practical. All they care about is fixing the vulnerability, not breaking shit Monday, January 13, 2014 5:24:05 PMTwitter for Android
Kevin. The second you start micromanaging and asking what I'm working on every 3 minutes is when I fuckin walk out and take lunch Monday, January 13, 2014 1:48:16 PMTwitter for Android
Maybe this incident will finish McGivern off. Don't think his ticker can withstand another outage. Monday, January 13, 2014 5:26:39 AMTwitter for Android
I could've at least fixed the fuckin problem in my sleep instead of our fucking system being down for hours Monday, January 13, 2014 5:25:57 AMTwitter for Android
Let me just reiterate the severity: Got up, turned on my light and computer, put in my VPN pin+token id. Went back to bed. Woke up confused. Monday, January 13, 2014 5:19:22 AMTwitter for Android
I think I just sleep-worked on production... Woke up to 20 mins worth of alerts, light on and my VPN was connected. THE FUCK Monday, January 13, 2014 5:10:44 AMTwitter for Android
I have an unhealthy obsession with Jennifer Lawrence Sunday, January 12, 2014 7:41:06 PMTwitter for Android
Been out drinking since like 11am. Am I a pussy if I just wanna go home and chill the most? Saturday, January 11, 2014 8:09:05 PMTwitter for Android
I waited on Joan Jett. She had a Jameson neat. Saturday, January 11, 2014 4:08:43 PMTwitter for Android
Stripes are so hot. I ruin girls wearing stripes Saturday, January 11, 2014 3:42:09 PMTwitter for Android
"It was just jimmy page's birthday. Let's do a shot for him my page" -Santino Saturday, January 11, 2014 3:35:32 PMTwitter for Android
Foo Fighters and whiskey at Watering. Legit + Netta Saturday, January 11, 2014 3:31:32 PMTwitter for Android
In NEwwww Yprkkkkkkk. Concrete jungle where trains never get you where you need to go. There's smoke conditions and delaysssssssssssss Saturday, January 11, 2014 2:10:52 PMTwitter for Android
"I got hit by a car once. It was my friend. As a joke. It wasn't fun" -Santino Saturday, January 11, 2014 1:39:11 PMTwitter for Android
Wasted Saturday, January 11, 2014 1:15:28 PMTwitter for Android
I'm just the happiest. @MalJNew Saturday, January 11, 2014 1:00:35 PMTwitter for Android
"Isn't it strange that all people are different flesh colors?" -@MalJNew Saturday, January 11, 2014 12:39:47 PMTwitter for Android
Lol arod Saturday, January 11, 2014 12:31:01 PMTwitter for Android
Significantly tipssssss before noon. They put the roofelin in these mimosas here Saturday, January 11, 2014 12:00:36 PMTwitter for Android
"I feel like you're expected to be drunk at brunch. I mean.... What's there to do between breakfast and lunch except drink?" -Santino Saturday, January 11, 2014 11:51:48 AMTwitter for Android
Chillen the most, you guys Friday, January 10, 2014 10:09:02 PMTwitter for Android
Recovery has been pulled Friday, January 10, 2014 12:45:13 AMTwitter for Android