| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| I have a bone to pick with David Chase. In what universe would a guido/mobster Italian-American family from New Jersey name their first born daughter Meadow. Would never happen. Gianna, Angela, Francesca, Nina, Gina, Loretta, Teresa, Loretta, Marie... It would have been one of those. | Monday, June 22, 2026 9:46:56 PM | BlueSky |
| If you leave your cig bitts in a plastic bag and leave it on the beach ina carey-in/ carry-out state park, you're a miserable prick [[ Image ]] | Sunday, June 21, 2026 9:17:30 AM | BlueSky |
| Fuck a casino. For real. I will never waste my money. I'm not even at a casino. At a happy hour where it's half off if you roll a 1-3. I rolled a 4,6,6 and 5. Fuck all the way off with this happy hour, all my shit was full price. If there's a game of chance, I'll fucking lose. Fuck it In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Friday, June 19, 2026 5:20:13 PM | BlueSky |
| Verizon is now RCS spamming customers with ads. This is some shit. I can block this, no? [[ Image ]] | Tuesday, June 16, 2026 10:34:23 AM | BlueSky |
| The officers responsible for this deserve to be executed by firing squad in the public square. Full automatic. Starting from their legs, upward https://abc7.com/post/family-dog-shot-killed-lapd-during-knicks-celebration-condo-canoga-park-police-say/19299441/ | Monday, June 15, 2026 8:29:09 PM | BlueSky |
| Charging laser? [[ Image ]] In reply to @tracketpacer.com's post | Friday, June 12, 2026 6:25:45 PM | BlueSky |
| GET THE FUCK OUTTA HEA WITH THIS SHIT. I'm in hell. Literally hell. The fact that it's only early June and have to deal with relentless heat all the way until mid October can fuck all the way off. [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, June 10, 2026 4:10:33 PM | BlueSky |
| I hate summer on the grounds that AC is gd expensive to run [[ Image ]] | Tuesday, June 09, 2026 3:35:44 PM | BlueSky |
| A bunch of shit just pissed me off. Gas cycled up 40 cents before I went to get it and then I opened my door into the God damn pump and chipped the paint. Trying a new approach. I can't get bent out of shape about this bullshit. | Monday, June 08, 2026 12:46:38 AM | BlueSky |
| Sheetz done fucked up. Ain't no way they intend to give me 30 cents off per gallon until July 15th. Heading there RIGHT NOW to clean them out [[ Image ]] | Friday, June 05, 2026 2:22:11 AM | BlueSky |
| The terminal bell is a menace and a relic from the 1960s when teletypes had physical bells in them because there were no screens. The fact this is still a thing in the year of our lord 2026 is bananas. Every time I ssh into anything, the gd bell rings constantly and needs to shut its whore mouth [[ Image ]] | Monday, June 01, 2026 11:46:33 PM | BlueSky |
| Nothing makes me rage more on a Monday morning when first thing I get in, some prick asks me to get on a call without any context of the issue. Fuckssake Get the fuck outta here [[ Image ]] | Monday, June 01, 2026 9:47:58 AM | BlueSky |
| This is straight up bananas. We're living in a real life South Park episode. IDK what is even real anymore. Fuck it. No one should be taking anything seriously. Fr. Everything's gd absurd [[ Image ]] | Thursday, May 28, 2026 5:43:18 AM | BlueSky |
| Btw, I totally stole "dick area" from the Biebs back in 2017. Refer to this since-deleted tweet: [[ Image ]] In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Sunday, May 24, 2026 5:11:53 PM | BlueSky |
| The trees always speak to me [[ Image ]][[ Image ]][[ Image ]] | Wednesday, May 20, 2026 6:42:49 PM | BlueSky |
| Me on the phone with the front desk: "Tienes un destapador? Se tapΓ³ el baΓ±o." In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Wednesday, May 20, 2026 3:01:43 AM | BlueSky |
| Anytime I go to any event, be it theater or sports, I always get some tall motherfucker blocking the way. Look at this guy's fucking dome [[ Image ]] | Tuesday, May 19, 2026 10:34:31 PM | BlueSky |
| About to fly on a Max 8. Here's to it not falling apart mid air! | Monday, May 18, 2026 8:57:55 AM | BlueSky |
| Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. May you all have a relaxing day and hopefully you do not get annoyed by anyone who came in you or out of you. | Sunday, May 10, 2026 2:23:46 PM | BlueSky |
| 4) MicroSD cards. For FUCK's sake I had a Samsung 32GB endurance card from 2021 that was 32GB for $7.99. All the factories shut down to work on AI chips so now the equivalent ones are like $40-70, and cheap ass ones that won't last are $20-40. Only large 128GB+ sizes are prioritized In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Thursday, May 07, 2026 12:10:44 AM | BlueSky |
| 3) Pressure washer. Had the Spyder electric model 1900PSI 1.4GPM... Pump seized and GFCI plug failed. Equivalent replacement was redesigned. Lower GPM, cheaper smaller pump, cannot quick-change nozzles - you need to screw them on to change spray angles. But it's smaller doe. How cute In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Thursday, May 07, 2026 12:07:16 AM | BlueSky |
| I sound like an old person, but it's true. Every gd appliance that has broken in my house (since not even that long ago - 2018 at a minimum), that I replaced with the SAME branded equivalent, is 1) more money and 2) half assed / less featured / downgraded. I'm tired of this shit. | Thursday, May 07, 2026 12:02:32 AM | BlueSky |
| Eat the rich [[ Image ]] | Thursday, April 30, 2026 10:42:55 PM | BlueSky |
| You want to fix this shit? Hold a Billionaire's Hunger Games. Each year, the top 10 richest people get put into an arena to fight to the death. Whoever makes it out alive gets to live, but all collective assets are to be redistributed [[ Image ]] | Thursday, April 30, 2026 10:42:27 PM | BlueSky |
| You know it's spring in Ohio when you need to switch constantly between heat and AC. Get a load of this bullshit, especially how much AC I had to use IN APRIL [[ Image ]] | Thursday, April 30, 2026 8:31:54 PM | BlueSky |
| My fantasy team fuckin blows. I had such a miserable week 4 and all my good players are hurt that I dropped from 5th to 10th in the rankings. [[ Image ]] | Monday, April 27, 2026 8:40:45 PM | BlueSky |
| git commit -am "[WIP] Gnome" [[ Image ]] | Friday, April 24, 2026 4:41:26 PM | BlueSky |
| These Chinese mfers always looking for trouble. They trying to start a pandemic again with ancient life that'll wipe us out? [[ Image ]] | Friday, April 24, 2026 3:08:40 PM | BlueSky |
| Been trying to figure out why I've been π© so gd much and it's these healthy peanut butter cups. I can't do Reese's cups. Tastes like shit - they changed the ingredients to pure poison and fuck em for being cheap bastards, so I buy other brands. But why do they need to put in chicory root fiber? [[ Image ]] | Thursday, April 23, 2026 11:09:35 PM | BlueSky |
| So this is where they're gonna get us... Essentially any new model that comes out will have an absurd multiplier [[ Image ]] | Thursday, April 23, 2026 2:40:11 PM | BlueSky |
| Chaotic disorganization like my brain without speed, which is all the time [[ Image ]] | Thursday, April 23, 2026 4:33:43 AM | BlueSky |
| Usually, you get what you pay for, unless you're the Mets. Highest 2026 payroll in MLB - almost $334 MILLION, and they have the absolute worst record in MLB. Lost 12 straight π€£ Bunch of jokers [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, April 22, 2026 12:58:18 PM | BlueSky |
| The number of parents who reek of weed at Chuck E Cheese is a lot. Dog, I don't judge but if you want to show up at a kids place high, at least vape or have edibles. Come on now. At least try not to reek of it. | Saturday, April 18, 2026 6:43:14 PM | BlueSky |
| There's nothing wrong with a K shaped economy for those who are on the upper end of the K | Friday, April 17, 2026 9:47:43 PM | BlueSky |
| Bring it! I'm all for yeeting myself out of society. Hikikomori. The Japanese really know what they're doing over here. https://www.iflscience.com/hikikomori-is-this-dark-japanese-phenomenon-going-global-83148 | Wednesday, April 15, 2026 9:22:34 PM | BlueSky |
| The amount of trolling and absurdities I commit into the codebases at work is beyond. DevOps Borat: [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, April 15, 2026 4:58:43 PM | BlueSky |
| God miserable damn it with this shit. I'm busy, late to leave, and now the security team pages out to rotate mf'in GitHub secrets that got exposed [[ Image ]] | Tuesday, April 14, 2026 6:37:42 PM | BlueSky |
| Can't I catch a fucking break over here? Lost by 3 points last week, and this week, I scored 3rd highest points in the league but happened to match up against one of the two teams that did better. I was predicted to win and didn't. Now I'm predicted to lose next week and probably will. In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Sunday, April 12, 2026 9:39:15 PM | BlueSky |
| Both Netflix and YouTube Music Premium are raising prices and it's going to cost me like $9 more a month for both. You know who never raised prices ever? Torrents. Free for life. #StickItToTheMan #EatTheRich #FuckMediaConglomerates [[ Image ]] | Sunday, April 12, 2026 1:11:48 PM | BlueSky |
| Hogwash! My grandpa ate burnt toast all the time. He used to say the charcoal was good for the stomach. Guy lived to 99. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2026/apr/07/crispr-gene-edited-wheat-toasted-bread-less-carcinogenic-acrylamide | Tuesday, April 07, 2026 9:09:44 PM | BlueSky |
| My neurodivergent ass found it interesting that my laptop (which runs 24/7), uses 2 more idle watts when running nginx, php and Selenium docker containers - with no requests, load or tests running vs the docker engine shut down. | Monday, April 06, 2026 2:45:29 AM | BlueSky |
| [[ Image ]] | Sunday, April 05, 2026 4:42:04 PM | BlueSky |
| Jokes on them. I've gotten around it. Little bit of a pain in the ass, but no one stops Chad Scraper [[ Image ]] In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Wednesday, April 01, 2026 9:49:58 PM | BlueSky |
| Nothing like shattering a bottle of fuckin sauce the second you bring it home because the top-heavy motherfucker tipped over on your granite counter. I want my $5 back. Not a shitty jar of Prego, but the good stuff. π [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, April 01, 2026 5:43:49 PM | BlueSky |
| This is a weird as shit mix, YouTube Music. These genres are polar opposites and don't mix. [[ Image ]] | Monday, March 30, 2026 4:58:26 AM | BlueSky |
| Mandatory disclaimer. This is a joke and I didn't actually do this. I nested my reply under the wrong post, sooo just need to set the record straight this is a serious, non-joking matter: https://bsky.app/profile/portfolioso.com/post/3miahzvd5pk27 In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Monday, March 30, 2026 2:29:01 AM | BlueSky |
| Docker Des' top E cel ile E plorer Windows: Go home. You're drunk [[ Image ]] | Sunday, March 29, 2026 10:34:49 PM | BlueSky |
| I'm just kidding about the beers. It's an exaggeration. Never happened. Don't drink and drive folks. Very bad. Don't ruin anyone's lives or your life. In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Sunday, March 29, 2026 9:09:13 PM | BlueSky |
| These HR sexual harassment trainings are beyond absurd. I can't believe there are people who actually do the things that happen in these trainings. Like a bru asked someone out, got politely declined and then he kept asking a million times? Read the room. Why chase someone not interested? Christ. | Thursday, March 26, 2026 12:45:27 PM | BlueSky |
| If X doesn't have a bot problem, why did these two accounts both follow me within seconds? [[ Image ]][[ Image ]] | Sunday, March 22, 2026 1:31:03 AM | BlueSky |
| So what are the best countries willing to take disgruntled Americans? Anyone? I think it's about time to GTFO here like my ancestors left Southern Italy in the early 1900s https://search.app/KcAc7 | Saturday, March 14, 2026 1:15:00 AM | BlueSky |
| This is some Midwestern bullshit right hur [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, March 11, 2026 7:56:28 PM | BlueSky |
| One of my hobbies is documenting failed kiosks that have errored out [[ Image ]][[ Image ]][[ Image ]] | Sunday, March 08, 2026 11:34:34 AM | BlueSky |
| Lol I can't tell if you're trolling with that or genuinely like the concept. I had a cheap similar one and it was meh - maybe it was accurate? Couldn't tell. But I've seen some fancy ones that are probably more accurate and can even identify the exact charging protocol negotiated. Get a good one! In reply to @tracketpacer.com's post | Friday, February 06, 2026 11:46:34 PM | BlueSky |
| TF this cracker talking about [[ Image ]] | Tuesday, February 03, 2026 5:26:51 PM | BlueSky |
| A door to door solicitor pushed me too far today (dog recovering from surgery and needs rest, and she got up to bark at the door). So I put 5 of these all around my door and doorbell [[ Image ]] | Friday, January 16, 2026 7:44:35 PM | BlueSky |
| Nothing is more enraging than Azure APIs and the fact that Microsoft literally sends back different responses for the same gd request within 30 seconds. I have an engineer who loops through API versions and makes the same API call in try/catch because "it'll work on for of them" JFC | Thursday, January 15, 2026 11:24:50 PM | BlueSky |
| No. NO. Just NO. Why do people do this. You need to go DC to DC. It's so inefficient to run an inverter to convert to AC power just for the wall wart to convert it back to DC. This person needs to get a 100W USB-C to C cable and charge it that way [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, January 14, 2026 5:08:50 PM | BlueSky |
| After hating on the whole javascript ecosystem for 15 years, I'm finally embracing it because it's everywhere and if you don't adapt, the old dino gets kicked to the curb | Saturday, December 27, 2025 2:57:12 PM | BlueSky |
| What kind of shit is this [[ Image ]] | Sunday, December 21, 2025 12:37:33 PM | BlueSky |
| In Twitter jail. I really don't understand what the problem is with saying that a child rapist should be sent foot first through a wood chipper. [[ Image ]] | Thursday, December 04, 2025 6:39:16 PM | BlueSky |
| Engineer on my team asked our overnight team to approve a PR. Fuckin guy comments "looks good. approved" doesn't actually approve it, and then closes the PR with unmerged changes. My Brother in Christ, what is actually wrong with you? | Tuesday, November 25, 2025 1:13:45 AM | BlueSky |
| Confession. I think my 6 yr old turned me into a Swiftie because I'm up listening to her new record and it slaps. | Friday, October 03, 2025 1:11:13 AM | BlueSky |
| This cannot be serious but it really is. I'm gonna pee my pants [[ Image ]] | Monday, September 22, 2025 10:20:37 PM | BlueSky |
| This cannot be serious right now,.I'm gonna pee my.l pants [[ Image ]] | Monday, September 22, 2025 10:19:50 PM | BlueSky |
| Luna sleeps [[ Image ]] In reply to @tracketpacer.bsky.social's post | Friday, August 15, 2025 7:02:35 PM | BlueSky |
| [[ Image ]] In reply to @alexengineer10.bsky.social's post | Sunday, August 10, 2025 12:09:41 PM | BlueSky |
| For example... [[ Image ]] In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Friday, July 25, 2025 7:40:13 PM | BlueSky |
| I literally cannot stop trolling MAGA government officials over on X with DEEZ NUTS. I'll rephrase part of their post and end it with Deez Nuts and maybe I'm a child, but it will never NOT be funny. [[ Image ]] | Friday, July 25, 2025 7:35:53 PM | BlueSky |
| ππβοΈππ [[ Image ]] | Saturday, July 19, 2025 1:29:30 AM | BlueSky |
| πβοΈππ [[ Image ]] | Saturday, July 19, 2025 1:27:33 AM | BlueSky |
| "We learned that her owner no longer wanted her" Fuck is wrong with people?! [[ Image ]] | Saturday, July 05, 2025 12:57:32 PM | BlueSky |
| Can't stand summer [[ Image ]] | Saturday, June 21, 2025 12:49:26 AM | BlueSky |
| We live in a pretty damn good simulation if shit like this is accounted for: [[ Image ]] | Friday, May 30, 2025 5:03:09 PM | BlueSky |
| Anyone remember when American Idiot came out and we were all mad at George W. Bush and now it's like what the fuck is actually happening? | Saturday, May 24, 2025 6:14:01 PM | BlueSky |
| Not trying to stereotype here, but I looked up the kiddo's school ratings by ethnicity, and this completely checks out... [[ Image ]] | Thursday, May 22, 2025 2:01:24 AM | BlueSky |
| I get this a lot =( [[ Image ]] In reply to @portfolioso.com's post | Wednesday, May 21, 2025 5:04:30 PM | BlueSky |
| I'm actually appalled. Been buying the same pair of Under Armour sneakers for years and they were always $40-50. Today, they were $80. I had no choice because my old ones have holes and they're one of the rare brands that does 4E wide because I have a gorilla foot. π | Wednesday, May 21, 2025 2:20:06 PM | BlueSky |
| Part of me needs to stop watching post apocalyptic shows, but part of me needs to know what to expect | Saturday, May 03, 2025 2:28:43 AM | BlueSky |
| Therapist: "How do you plan on getting through the next 4 years?" Me: | Tuesday, April 29, 2025 2:52:48 AM | BlueSky |
| Gen Z be like [[ Image ]] | Sunday, April 20, 2025 12:08:04 AM | BlueSky |
| Get the fuck out of here. I hate fantasy baseball and stink at it. I was up by 30 points+ all week long and then I end up losing by 2.67 points [[ Image ]] | Sunday, March 30, 2025 11:37:41 PM | BlueSky |
| But isn't next.js just a react wrapper? In reply to @endingwithali.com's post | Tuesday, March 25, 2025 9:22:08 AM | BlueSky |
| See, no one actually asked for this. This kind of crap is why they end up having to raise the price all the time. screenrant.com/the-electric... | Monday, March 24, 2025 1:40:14 AM | BlueSky |
| All the cabbage I ate is kicking in and I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. π¨π¨π¨ | Friday, March 21, 2025 3:01:01 AM | BlueSky |
| See, how did that happen? Because my dog goes nuts at the ding dong sound and we never had that kind of old school doorbell in her life ever. How'd she learn that? In reply to @shenet.works's post | Thursday, March 13, 2025 9:08:15 PM | BlueSky |
| Not sure how many times I have to reiterate that if you lease/own a cyber truck, you're a raging dickhead. They're unreliable pieces of crap, and on top of that, Elon is a complete jagoff www.torquenews.com/11826/tesla-... | Monday, March 03, 2025 9:52:16 PM | BlueSky |
| Diamonds are a scam. Carbon is the 15th most abundant element in Earth's crust. If anyone ever needs to buy diamonds for whatever reason, save your money and get lab grown because they're magnitudes cheaper and better quality than natural ones and it's the same exact thing. | Monday, March 03, 2025 2:37:56 AM | BlueSky |
| Don't buy shit today, fam [[ Image ]] | Friday, February 28, 2025 8:21:26 AM | BlueSky |
| BIOS updates scare the absolute crap out of me. I never trust the device to not be bricked after one [[ Image ]] | Thursday, February 27, 2025 5:45:35 PM | BlueSky |
| I'd love it if Betelgeuse went supernova in my lifetime. Could happen tomorrow. Could happen in 100,000 years. Either way, it's happening VERY soon! | Thursday, February 27, 2025 11:07:31 AM | BlueSky |
| You buy cheap, you get cheap. Our offshore engineers are some of the laziest motherfuckers I've ever worked with. They literally can't figure things out and come to me being like "hey we need to connect" with no details of errors or what they tried. | Friday, February 21, 2025 10:15:05 AM | BlueSky |
| This was written on my whiteboard on my freshman dorm door. When you pay a million dollars a month for fragmented streaming services while they make record profits and their execs are multimillionaires, and they still don't have the content you want to watch... Piracy. That is all. [[ Image ]] | Monday, February 17, 2025 5:46:45 PM | BlueSky |
| Tiktok's back on the app stores... What a time to be alive. | Friday, February 14, 2025 2:41:16 AM | BlueSky |
| My microwave broke a couple weeks ago, and the new one has a white LED display which is modern. It makes all of the rest of my appliances from the 2010s with green LEDs look very dated (dishwasher, stove, fridge) | Thursday, February 06, 2025 1:13:36 AM | BlueSky |
| My inner New York is showing when I said good night and it triggered Gemini into thinking I asked it to set an alarm. In a bout of confusion and annoyance: [[ Image ]] | Tuesday, February 04, 2025 11:05:49 PM | BlueSky |
| You can find some absurd comments on the MSFT forums, but what I really want to know are who tf are the 5 people who found this helpful :rofl: [[ Image ]] | Monday, January 27, 2025 5:23:27 PM | BlueSky |
| Telling the AI "that is garbage code bro" π€£ [[ Image ]] | Friday, January 24, 2025 6:26:08 PM | BlueSky |
| Idk, maybe we need to like... Elect better fucking presidents. The US is falling faster than the Roman Empire [[ Image ]] | Saturday, January 18, 2025 11:19:51 PM | BlueSky |
| I hate when people do this shit. Just tell me wtf you want from my life [[ Image ]] | Wednesday, January 15, 2025 9:30:42 AM | BlueSky |