9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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10° Standing on this platform because this piece of shit Metro North train is late again. #MTA Thursday, February 27, 2014 8:07:36 AMTwitter for Android
My express to Scarsdale had to stop at 125th St to "reset something for a minute" 5 minutes ago... Still stopped. #FuckingMTA Wednesday, February 26, 2014 7:14:37 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Said, "If I catch a case of the backdoor explosions, I'll be comin' back here to erupt on your car and/or store floor, cornco… Tuesday, February 25, 2014 9:04:47 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: Its been a long ass day http://t.co/ondGYA1gHX Tuesday, February 25, 2014 8:24:15 PMTwitter for Android
I feel like if you ever end up taking a shit at a Brother Jimmy's, you've hit rock bottom. Monday, February 24, 2014 11:23:37 PMTwitter for Android
All the cabs are coming by the garden because the Knicks were expected to lose. Monday, February 24, 2014 9:40:08 PMTwitter for Android
Happy Monday! Start your workweek right with late MTA Metro North trains. Pieces of shit. Monday, February 24, 2014 8:08:21 AMTwitter for Android
Broken Bells. Shit. 👍👌 Sunday, February 23, 2014 1:01:40 AMTwitter for Android
"It's a natural pocket" Saturday, February 22, 2014 2:54:46 PMTwitter for Android
My discernment is correct. This is a freak. She's now talking about how she stores her weed in her vagina Saturday, February 22, 2014 2:51:07 PMTwitter for Android
These bitches are LOUD Saturday, February 22, 2014 2:35:46 PMTwitter for Android
✌ Saturday, February 22, 2014 3:07:17 AMTwitter for Android
@ky9 lemmie know what drugs you're on kthx
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, February 21, 2014 11:22:33 PMTwitter for Android
Don't let the bastards get you down Friday, February 21, 2014 9:50:48 PMTwitter for Android
You have a Yuengling on your boob Friday, February 21, 2014 9:48:42 PMTwitter for Android
Ran into @JenSelter's ass doppelganger on the subway. The struggle was real to look away with @MalJNew next to me. Friday, February 21, 2014 7:14:21 PMTwitter for Android
The GF got me a massage. Booked me with a dude. Man hands. Reminds me of Johnny Drama.... Thursday, February 20, 2014 7:02:32 PMTwitter for Android
.@XtinaSchelin Upgrading this release from red hot dumpster fire to yellow hot dumpster fire.
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Wednesday, February 19, 2014 7:19:45 PMTwitter for Android
Just watched the Ride Along trailer. Blackest movie of all time. It'll be on the CW in a couple years Tuesday, February 18, 2014 11:46:09 AMTwitter for Android
Peep! 🐣🐤🐥🐦 Monday, February 17, 2014 1:52:15 PMTwitter for Android
Finny Tinkins Monday, February 17, 2014 1:05:42 PMTwitter for Android
@cuddleclouds Goldsmith? Hhhhh
In reply to @cuddleclouds's tweet
Sunday, February 16, 2014 7:21:00 PMTwitter for Android
Wild Wild West. Jim West, desperado, rough rider. No you don't want nada Sunday, February 16, 2014 5:54:46 PMTwitter for Android
.@RockNationRadio stop being a pussy anf draw a dick on a cop car. What are they gonna do, arrest you for being awesome?
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:57:48 PMTwitter for Android
Just woke up confused and on a bus somehow Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:54:25 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio I'll give you $20 to do that to McGivern's car
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:44:50 PMTwitter for Android
I triple dog dare you to draw a dick in the snow on that cop car Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:39:39 PMTwitter for Android
I'm at brunch with a gay who is now writing a song about eating pussy. My life is excellent. Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:07:23 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously. Everything this fucking McGivern does goes against everything they taught at DSB. This is why I cannot respect him. Sunday, February 16, 2014 3:17:10 PMTwitter for Android
If McGivern, the guy who values family and not working all weekend expects me to help with this release, he can surely eat a dick. Sunday, February 16, 2014 2:47:15 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously tho. These curling girls aren't ugly Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:42:50 AMTwitter for Android
A gay: "The curling girls are hot. Why are they so hot?" Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:31:51 AMTwitter for Android
There's no way curling is a real sport.... No way whatsoever Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:31:23 AMTwitter for Android
Curling: Canada has a tomato and Russia has two yellow things. Wtf is this Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:26:04 AMTwitter for Android
I am at the bar and just butt dialed my director of engineering for 3 minutes straight. #yolo Saturday, February 15, 2014 11:26:56 PMTwitter for Android
"Should I get a facial on my ass?" -Mokey Saturday, February 15, 2014 9:36:07 PMTwitter for Android
I want a cheeseburger Saturday, February 15, 2014 8:14:42 PMTwitter for Android
If I get drunk enough. I'm sexting Daniel Jeans Saturday, February 15, 2014 7:57:31 PMTwitter for Android
I feel like a good time right now Saturday, February 15, 2014 7:52:35 PMTwitter for Android
Jeopardy is the shit @KFCBarstool Saturday, February 15, 2014 7:11:38 PMTwitter for Android
If you fall onto the train tracks, you're a dumb motherfucker... Nuff said. Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:50:40 PMTwitter for Android
What's worse? Al Quaeda or the Westboro Baptist Church? I'd go with Westboro... Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:48:40 PMTwitter for Android
♬Cuz I want it all. Or nothing at all ♬ Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:25:27 PMTwitter for Android
♬ BECAUSE YOU WANT IT ALL. YOU'RE NOIIIITHING AT ALL. ♬ Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:15:50 PMTwitter for Android
I got tipsy without thinking I would... Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:06:35 PMTwitter for Android
After finishing a bottle of Jameson, this hotel wine and cheese hour is baller Saturday, February 15, 2014 5:46:24 PMTwitter for Android
The piece of shit 4/5 isn't running Wednesday, February 12, 2014 7:04:46 PMTwitter for Android
I'm on a one way trip to Struggle City Tuesday, February 11, 2014 8:13:14 PMTwitter for Android
There's a 100% chance this Russian is not naïve. No one can accidentally be that overtly sexual. Its not the language barrier. Monday, February 10, 2014 11:13:03 PMTwitter for Android
I hope whoever is responsible for these delays gets electrocuted on the third rail or run over by a train; whichever is slower/more painful Monday, February 10, 2014 6:46:04 PMTwitter for Android
Obviously on the worst days when you just want to get home, all subways run like dick Monday, February 10, 2014 6:38:10 PMTwitter for Android
I sat in meetings all day today. Monday, February 10, 2014 5:48:09 PMTwitter for Android
Subway's a fucking disaster at Grand Central Monday, February 10, 2014 9:00:15 AMTwitter for Android
Train showed up on time today. Is this real life? Monday, February 10, 2014 8:06:58 AMTwitter for Android
Some old fuck at the train station said Ringo didn't age well. Guy is delusional and probably 50 going on 80 Monday, February 10, 2014 8:02:49 AMTwitter for Android
I'm still burping up vodka red bull from Saturday. Monday, February 10, 2014 1:43:52 AMTwitter for Android
Look at this fucking baller. Dave just straight out runs up to Ringo on drums and sings with him. Hdhshahvsvxhwhzv http://t.co/skT31rk3T9 Sunday, February 09, 2014 10:29:29 PMTwitter for Android
Dave Grohl. Come at me. Sunday, February 09, 2014 9:39:39 PMTwitter for Android
Omg Dave Grohl. Sunday, February 09, 2014 9:03:48 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio Agreed
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Sunday, February 09, 2014 8:51:07 PMTwitter for Android
This Pink Floyd is fantastic right about now. Sunday, February 09, 2014 6:54:59 PMTwitter for Android
The chick in Avicii's music video is a smokeshow Saturday, February 08, 2014 8:42:15 PMTwitter for Android
I think I accidentally screamed about how Pink would be hotter with long hair. At a gay bar. In front of two lezbos with short hair. Oops Saturday, February 08, 2014 7:42:33 PMTwitter for Android
There's no way this white chick is gonna win a track and field race. Kenyans son. Saturday, February 08, 2014 5:12:45 PMTwitter for Android
♪ I need some action.
Tender satisfaction ♪  		Saturday, February 08, 2014 4:30:02 PMTwitter for Android
I'd 100% be down for a late 90s/early 2000s R&B party right now. Saturday, February 08, 2014 4:22:24 PMTwitter for Android
Guantanamera! Saturday, February 08, 2014 3:51:26 PMTwitter for Android
Just woke up. Gotta have a bloody Mary to straighten myself out Saturday, February 08, 2014 2:56:35 PMTwitter for Android
Yep. Trains are late again. They're late 100% of the time I take them Thursday, February 06, 2014 8:04:25 AMTwitter for Android
This fucking moron is Kwabi 2.0. Can't even get Skype to work in the conference room. cc: @BadPointer Tuesday, February 04, 2014 1:05:45 PMTwitter for Android
Yo. It was totes like 50 yesterday. Where'd this blizzard come from? Monday, February 03, 2014 8:25:47 AMTwitter for Android
"My meatball intake is on the high" Sunday, February 02, 2014 7:55:43 PMTwitter for Android
Gf basically fingerblasted herself during the David Beckham commercial. Sunday, February 02, 2014 7:44:55 PMTwitter for Android
.12 What's the over/under Joe Namath's BAC right now. DAT fur coat... Bro. It's like 50 out Sunday, February 02, 2014 6:30:08 PMTwitter for Android
Wait a sec... I did something funky with a double negative. Long story short, I'm wearing army pants tonight
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, February 02, 2014 2:25:18 PMTwitter for Android
If you don't think I won't be rocking these army pants to the Super Bowl Celebraish later, you're surely mistaken. Sunday, February 02, 2014 2:02:52 PMTwitter for Android
Broken Bella tho Saturday, February 01, 2014 11:43:55 AMTwitter for Android
I'm a sleepy puppy Saturday, February 01, 2014 12:10:48 AMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: Cuncel Da Christie? http://t.co/qPuEcTFi3T Friday, January 31, 2014 11:50:03 PMTwitter for Android
Snoop Dogg (lion?) in the house tonight with my homeboy JD Friday, January 31, 2014 10:26:00 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure one of my engineers is putting it in the HR chick's ass. Friday, January 31, 2014 10:19:52 PMTwitter for Android
Aniusha grabbed Mal's boobs. Insanely jealous. Friday, January 31, 2014 10:18:41 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck McGivern!!! Friday, January 31, 2014 10:16:16 PMTwitter for Android
@cuddleclouds fuck off Lennon
In reply to @cuddleclouds's tweet
Friday, January 31, 2014 10:15:22 PMTwitter for Android
Aniusha is dancing on the table. You know the shits goin down Friday, January 31, 2014 10:06:40 PMTwitter for Android
Sam is all about the smokes Friday, January 31, 2014 9:29:53 PMTwitter for Android
Colin. SHUT THE FUCK UP Friday, January 31, 2014 4:10:29 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito it's pretty good dude
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Friday, January 31, 2014 12:51:29 PMTwitter for Android
Idk how I'm gonna get through this day without punching someone in the face Friday, January 31, 2014 12:47:43 PMTwitter for Android
Wearing one of those kiddie lion hats. #IDGAF Friday, January 31, 2014 8:51:05 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking train is late again. This piece of shit MTA Friday, January 31, 2014 8:06:35 AMTwitter for Android
This meandering mother fucker needs to walk in a straight line so I can pass his slow ass. Thursday, January 30, 2014 7:11:29 PMTwitter for Android
I sit in the middle if Gabe and Colin. The combination of these two and their nonstop chatter makes me want to take a shit Thursday, January 30, 2014 4:30:37 PMTwitter for Android
Oh shit. My review's tomorrow. Going in with a mustache. If they fire a guy with a mustache, that'd be hysterical Wednesday, January 29, 2014 11:07:29 PMTwitter for Android
Mad question askin' Wednesday, January 29, 2014 10:46:57 PMTwitter for Android
Nate is 23? Fuckin prime. Dude. Rake in as much pussy as you can get and enjoyyy right now Wednesday, January 29, 2014 9:14:00 PMTwitter for Android
Yo I think that StagCard guy Mike Tortora is at the bar. Dafuq. #Fairfield #GoStags Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:54:58 PMTwitter for Android
Phantom Planet's California just came on. Makes me wanna shotgun a brewsky Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:48:03 PMTwitter for Android
Dat fur coat #CeeLo Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:35:13 PMTwitter for Android
They say redheads make the best passwords Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:09:52 PMTwitter for Android