9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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TweetDateSource
Mohammed: "My long grain basmati rice is best in world. Is from Afghanistan" Wednesday, April 16, 2014 9:44:21 PMTwitter for Android
Trabajar y mejorar, y cura tu cabesa Wednesday, April 16, 2014 8:38:07 PMTwitter for Android
If the Yankees don't sweep the Cubs, I I'm going to cuncel them. Wednesday, April 16, 2014 8:09:35 PMTwitter for Android
RT @chisoxbarstool: Lol cubs Wednesday, April 16, 2014 8:08:36 PMTwitter for Android
The Cubs are SO bad... They're like me in little league. Wednesday, April 16, 2014 8:04:32 PMTwitter for Android
I'm at the bar. This is a fuckin sausagefest assed ladies night... Wednesday, April 16, 2014 7:40:45 PMTwitter for Android
The entire subway system is useless. I've gotten screwed 3 times this am Wednesday, April 16, 2014 9:27:15 AMTwitter for Android
Its fucking cloudy. Wanted to see the lunar eclipse tonight Monday, April 14, 2014 9:52:44 PMTwitter for Android
I've got a sweatshirt and sweatpants in. And dress shoes. And I'm on the train. Idgaf Monday, April 14, 2014 8:40:58 PMTwitter for Android
Getting eaten alive out here. This cold snowy winter was supposed to kill off some mosquitoes? For sure not. Monday, April 14, 2014 7:12:16 PMTwitter for Android
@Rotinaj94 wsssse@gwwwrabees40 @thereallisaann see original message email of messaged
In reply to @Rotinaj94's tweet
Monday, April 14, 2014 6:17:57 PMTwitter for Android
I've been home two days. Ready to move out again. Monday, April 14, 2014 6:15:28 PMTwitter for Android
I've been informed that last night, I sang "Smoke Two Joints" in Spanish. Excessively. Sunday, April 13, 2014 8:30:52 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck. My bar tab was like two bills Sunday, April 13, 2014 7:43:17 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin a. Whenever I go to the rover, I black out. I now have a raging hangover and it's 3:45am Sunday, April 13, 2014 3:45:32 AMTwitter for Android
Dos leños por la manana, dos lenos al anochecer Saturday, April 12, 2014 10:28:13 PMTwitter for Android
En el otro lado es donde vivi. Con me hijta que se llama Mixie Saturday, April 12, 2014 8:49:38 PMTwitter for Android
Wasted Saturday, April 12, 2014 8:35:05 PMTwitter for Android
That's why we drink Tanqueray, so I can reminisce Saturday, April 12, 2014 6:36:13 PMTwitter for Android
They had to hold me back because I kept wanting g to photo bomb the news Saturday, April 12, 2014 6:09:17 PMTwitter for Android
Just accidentally walked into that crime scene in Astoria where some 86 yr old killed his daughter and dog. I mean come on. Who kills a dog? Saturday, April 12, 2014 6:07:42 PMTwitter for Android
Yep. Booze is kicking in. Tweets may get cray soon Saturday, April 12, 2014 5:21:03 PMTwitter for Android
This pasty assed mother fucker will be up on the roof, tanning.. UV index is 6, son Saturday, April 12, 2014 11:40:07 AMTwitter for Android
The Yankees are a mediocre assed team... Friday, April 11, 2014 10:45:21 PMTwitter for Android
4 years ago today... @Onethirdof3x5 @tomwcleary #tbt http://t.co/DMVgKXZnZx Thursday, April 10, 2014 9:22:55 PMTwitter for Android
YEAH JEETS Thursday, April 10, 2014 8:47:50 PMTwitter for Android
My shoes smell like piss. And by piss, I don't mean urine Wednesday, April 09, 2014 3:36:05 PMTwitter for Android
"The DevOps function is an issue here"
Nah. You're an issue here 		Wednesday, April 09, 2014 12:53:51 PMTwitter for Android
Yo Russ, gimmie my fuckin 🍕 Wednesday, April 09, 2014 12:15:23 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Problem is, this Twitter is private, so HBO can't see how batshit crazy I am
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, April 08, 2014 6:49:55 AMTwitter for Android
This isn't even fair. Exec chef at NYY Steak just cooking steaks at 9:45 am for the Good Day crew... http://t.co/80tJuVHRNy Monday, April 07, 2014 9:46:23 AMTwitter for Android
I'm hungover. It's 10PM Saturday, April 05, 2014 9:59:24 PMTwitter for Android
Wasted Saturday, April 05, 2014 5:33:35 PMTwitter for Android
Phone keeps fuckin rebooting. Fuck off Saturday, April 05, 2014 3:11:43 PMTwitter for Android
Fuckin hate Texiera. Never did anything useful for Yanks. Always hurts his pussy and gets paid for being on the DL. Get the fuck off my team Saturday, April 05, 2014 3:02:37 PMTwitter for Android
Oh. Blue jays are wearing blue...... Next bar TV colors were accurate Saturday, April 05, 2014 2:30:48 PMTwitter for Android
Just checked my own ass out in the mirror. It's a good ass. Saturday, April 05, 2014 1:28:38 PMTwitter for Android
Also, why are the fucking BLUE Jays wearing green uniforms? Saturday, April 05, 2014 1:20:51 PMTwitter for Android
21 year old Jeter would've made that play... Saturday, April 05, 2014 1:20:04 PMTwitter for Android
Four days into the season, texiera pulled his vagina muscle. Again. I called it. Weak motherfucker Saturday, April 05, 2014 7:23:35 AMTwitter for Android
I will never be as dapper as this guy on the subway. Looked like a classy guy from the 50s. Girlfriend's gaydar went off, mine did not... Friday, April 04, 2014 11:35:31 PMTwitter for Android
I'm getting so drunk this weekend, I'm getting banned from twitter #abusers #axelrod Friday, April 04, 2014 6:11:36 PMTwitter for Android
I'd like you to think about how ridiculous this statement is: "A Mexican with an ass fupa carrying a large bag of live chickens." Friday, April 04, 2014 5:26:53 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew needs to stop smoking fuckin cigarettes. 🚭 🚭 🚭 Friday, April 04, 2014 4:42:36 PMTwitter for Android
"You didn't like the font I used in my document? Bitch, you're the one who uses comic sans." -@MalJNew Friday, April 04, 2014 1:58:19 PMTwitter for Android
Just elbowed a large man while air drumming to the Beatles at the bar Friday, April 04, 2014 1:51:32 PMTwitter for Android
Jack honey as medicine for my throat son. Friday, April 04, 2014 1:49:16 PMTwitter for Android
Cheers to being young, successful and fucked up http://t.co/6Sf8D4dFaR Friday, April 04, 2014 1:10:19 PMTwitter for Android
My liver is going to break this weekend Friday, April 04, 2014 7:53:48 AMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 fuck the MTA
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Thursday, April 03, 2014 9:44:17 PMTwitter for Android
It's okay. The last time the Yankees opened 0-2 was in 2009. The last time before that was 1998. What happened then? Thursday, April 03, 2014 12:23:16 AMTwitter for Android
Never did coke. Never will. I'm already a hyper crazy motherfucker. Don't need any more pep. Need to CHILL Wednesday, April 02, 2014 10:27:21 PMTwitter for Android
Last tweet was a butt/pocket my pocket and I thought it was hysterical, so I posted it. Enjoyyy Wednesday, April 02, 2014 9:51:09 PMTwitter for Android
@portfolioso nn nn nn n
N
R

mmnn.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, April 02, 2014 9:49:50 PMTwitter for Android
I am shocked. Got served at the bar by a dude bartender before a smokeshow who was here before me. #enjoyyy Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:45:26 PMTwitter for Android
Just told the VP who hired me to go fuck himself (jokingly) and I told our CEO our UI sucks. #enjoyyy Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:41:20 PMTwitter for Android
Completely empty bathroom. Don't shit in the stall directly next to me. Asshole. Wednesday, April 02, 2014 9:34:58 AMTwitter for Android
The 8:02 just showed up. It's 8:11. We're late because they're using a piece of shit antique train and the doors get stuck. Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:12:07 AMTwitter for Android
Only take Metro North a couple of times per week, which means that the trains are now late 100% of the time I take them #MTA Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:04:24 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, CC Tuesday, April 01, 2014 7:25:51 PMTwitter for Android
Hahahbdndksn,hjxmdhekcn YANKEES!!! #YeahJeets Tuesday, April 01, 2014 7:06:23 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 "I want to spend some time today to tell you a little bit about Jogues, an extraordinary man!"
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Tuesday, April 01, 2014 5:37:00 PMTwitter for Android
It's a grand day! Happy Yankee season! Tuesday, April 01, 2014 11:29:22 AMTwitter for Android
Leili is addicted to fins dick juice just like Selena is addicted to the biebs dick juice Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:56:31 AMTwitter for Android
Kfc delivered. I am now a black. Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:53:58 AMTwitter for Android
I'm diagnosing myself with lung cancer in 2065 Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:16:26 AMTwitter for Android
Correction. They're 130% fucking. Guaranteed Saturday, March 29, 2014 11:56:41 PMTwitter for Android
This product guy Shrek here needs to chill Saturday, March 29, 2014 11:53:43 PMTwitter for Android
So are fin and leili fucking? Saturday, March 29, 2014 11:37:22 PMTwitter for Android
OMG dropping. I'm a hot mess@portfolioso
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, March 29, 2014 10:06:15 PMTwitter for Android
Verizon Wireless is doing all my fuckin calls Saturday, March 29, 2014 10:04:53 PMTwitter for Android
I think it's the zombie apocalypse out there, you guys Saturday, March 29, 2014 9:50:13 PMTwitter for Android
There's some voodoo shit going on with these phones.. Saturday, March 29, 2014 9:24:19 PMTwitter for Android
.@BobSaget is a real sick fuck. @portfolioso is a real sick fuck Friday, March 28, 2014 10:42:49 PMTwitter for Android
My stomach has the most beer in it Friday, March 28, 2014 3:25:49 PMTwitter for Android
. @Waspito bro you're engaged. Suck it. ...MY women. #GameOn Thursday, March 27, 2014 9:25:39 PMTwitter for Android
That's the worst answer Wednesday, March 26, 2014 12:09:21 AMTwitter for Android
Shit. Colin got me fuuuuuckkkkked up Wednesday, March 26, 2014 12:07:31 AMTwitter for Android
Protip: Do not take pictures on the 5 train after 11pm. Hood people will heckle you. Tuesday, March 25, 2014 11:31:46 PMTwitter for Android
Got 9s in the bedroom. Glocks in the kitchen. Shotty in the shower gonna shoot me while I'm shittin' Tuesday, March 25, 2014 11:29:57 PMTwitter for Android
The D.A. Daniel's Army. Tuesday, March 25, 2014 10:42:44 PMTwitter for Android
If you don't give a damn man we don't give a fuck Tuesday, March 25, 2014 10:35:58 PMTwitter for Android
I'm very drunk on a Tuesday Tuesday, March 25, 2014 10:28:52 PMTwitter for Android
When they met @ the Three Broomsticks for Dumbledore's Army, what was omitted was that they all got shitfaced and talked shit about Umbridge Tuesday, March 25, 2014 9:38:28 PMTwitter for Android
I'm a fuckin stud rolling shit out son Tuesday, March 25, 2014 7:58:39 PMTwitter for Android
Mas beer! Mas beer! Tuesday, March 25, 2014 7:08:39 PMTwitter for Android
Heavy D up in this limousine http://t.co/kERLdy8pvm Tuesday, March 25, 2014 6:04:46 PMTwitter for Android
I am at a KFC in the hood and they have bulletproof glass. I need to reevaluate my life. Saturday, March 22, 2014 11:28:35 PMTwitter for Android
I'd pay hundreds for White Castle right now Saturday, March 22, 2014 11:08:38 PMTwitter for Android
In the BK rowdyy Saturday, March 22, 2014 10:24:19 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure the only reason I still work where I do is because I know the Yanks are winning the series and I'm going to the fuckin parade. Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:51:01 PMTwitter for Android
Nate's inviting the fucked up ass chick back. Yeah buddy get it Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:21:08 PMTwitter for Android
For real. This chicks almost got @JenSelter's ass but those clothes make it look awful Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:11:52 PMTwitter for Android
Been drinking for 3 days straight. Cousin's kids baptism is tomorrow. Will definitely have the shits Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:06:59 PMTwitter for Android
As an expert on the female ass, I 109% want to point out that this chicks ass is borderline deformed Saturday, March 22, 2014 7:21:41 PMTwitter for Android
Fact: My girlfriend had to be black in a past life Friday, March 21, 2014 8:57:28 PMTwitter for Android
I'm cracking up that Niraj flirted with a gay to get Russian perks. Legit gave his cell, too. Friday, March 21, 2014 2:34:04 AMTwitter for Android
I get goosebumps when the bassline thumps Friday, March 21, 2014 2:00:04 AMTwitter for Android
1:33am and I just put chicken in the oven. Beyond batshit crazy Friday, March 21, 2014 1:34:00 AMTwitter for Android
Awww. Special Mike's wife was the most awesome Friday, March 21, 2014 12:42:42 AMTwitter for Android