9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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@ky9 lol mets
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Sunday, May 11, 2014 12:28:27 AMTwitter for Android
Wasted Sunday, May 11, 2014 12:28:01 AMTwitter for Android
As a physics geek, I can't stop making this wine glass sing. The guests are getting annoyed. Might be too tips to care... Saturday, May 10, 2014 11:52:47 PMTwitter for Android
Had a bottle of wine and am now deeply enjoying Pearl Jam's Ten on the roof Saturday, May 10, 2014 11:03:32 PMTwitter for Android
I'm so proud of my @MalJNew. Hosting dinner two nights in a row and killing it! Saturday, May 10, 2014 10:06:11 PMTwitter for Android
Ariana Grande. Come at me Saturday, May 10, 2014 9:29:14 PMTwitter for Android
Emma Stone. Come at me. Saturday, May 10, 2014 9:23:57 PMTwitter for Android
I can go for a McChicken right now. Can I get that shit on seamless stat? Friday, May 09, 2014 1:31:12 AMTwitter for Android
Ah. I see our CTO is still here. He's suckling Kelly's dick right now Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:35:24 PMTwitter for Android
I'm sorry but allowing a short hand goal while YOU have a power play is not how you win hockey games Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:18:30 PMTwitter for Android
Live tweet I g the company Siete de mayo party. How to get fired Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:07:40 PMTwitter for Android
If my boss wasn't gay, this support manager Ashling would tie him down and bang him so hard.... Guaranteed Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:07:06 PMTwitter for Android
This bitch wearing three watches is a weirdo Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:04:22 PMTwitter for Android
This is a snubbull. Or Gabe's gf. Or Philly meg http://t.co/ibTFSwmMCS Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:01:45 PMTwitter for Android
I'd also like to point out that Wagner let herself go. Funny how people still think she's hot because they should've seen her in 2010 Wednesday, May 07, 2014 8:59:00 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu I played Gold in 6th grade so I know some up to 250, but not many of them
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, May 07, 2014 8:31:06 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: On a hump day bitchface? http://t.co/NjxZyCtpZ9 Wednesday, May 07, 2014 8:23:45 PMTwitter for Android
No offense because I'm sure she's a nice girl, but Gabe's girlfriend looks like that Pokémon Snubbull Wednesday, May 07, 2014 8:23:29 PMTwitter for Android
This meeting is horseshit Tuesday, May 06, 2014 1:25:50 PMTwitter for Android
Our systems such a piece of shit, I have a buddy on support that just renames un deletable services to z do not book Monday, May 05, 2014 11:26:54 PMTwitter for Android
z_Do_Not_Book Monday, May 05, 2014 11:25:36 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu lemmie call Bob Johnson. He'll outbid that bastard.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:43:15 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu no worries abusers... I have the same inability to code. But b/c we're baller tech mob bosses, we know it all so it doesn't matter.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:36:49 PMTwitter for Android
But I appreesh, bro Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:28:53 PMTwitter for Android
What's the over/under @__JLu has a python script to auto favorite my tweets? Not even possible how quickly they're read and favorited. Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:28:31 PMTwitter for Android
Pls explain how I just shit out corn kernels I ate 4 hours ago... Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:25:26 PMTwitter for Android
Hipsters with iPhones are bullshit because if they didn't conform with society, they'd have a phone no one else the fuck has. So blow me. Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:13:41 PMTwitter for Android
What pisses me off is fuckin hipsters with iPhones. iPhones are mainstream. This is the shit that isn't: http://t.co/IWKNRSi5fq Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:12:04 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito @mich_amore if he only kills bad guys, I approve.
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:05:19 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: This sauce I'm cooking is coming along lovely. Sunday, May 04, 2014 6:19:53 PMTwitter for Android
There's this PERFECT yellow lab here that ima steal Sunday, May 04, 2014 5:59:22 PMTwitter for Android
This gentleman has got some fantastic facial hair going. http://t.co/M365rEXkje Sunday, May 04, 2014 5:51:09 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Good person ;)
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 5:10:31 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Drunk typo fail
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 5:09:28 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 nah son. I have moles that reywery stuffs
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 5:08:47 PMTwitter for Android
.@MrMet @Wally97 fuck you hos. Mets and sox are my all time hated teams.
In reply to @MrMet's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 4:23:46 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: You don't win games giving up inside the park home runs Sunday, May 04, 2014 2:29:21 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 Fuck the rays jackass
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Sunday, May 04, 2014 2:29:09 PMTwitter for Android
Oh and if the FBI sees my last tweet, before you arrest me, I just meant I'm farting a lot assholes Saturday, May 03, 2014 10:17:12 PMTwitter for Android
Generating enough methane gas to blow up Queens Saturday, May 03, 2014 10:16:13 PMTwitter for Android
General A Rod is on steroids... Saturday, May 03, 2014 6:21:16 PMTwitter for Android
Protip: Do not use beer bottles as drumsticks. Doesn't turn out well. Saturday, May 03, 2014 6:01:43 PMTwitter for Android
Why is Jamie Foxx glistening? Saturday, May 03, 2014 5:16:28 PMTwitter for Android
"My mouth is sore from making a vagina face" -@MichaelShatin Saturday, May 03, 2014 3:56:23 PMTwitter for Android
"I got my grandpa's meat" -@MalJNew Saturday, May 03, 2014 3:46:47 PMTwitter for Android
"Helen Keller wouldn't have prescription sunglasses, Joes. Unless it was a prescription for sight" -@MichaelShatin Saturday, May 03, 2014 3:23:50 PMTwitter for Android
RT @beardobarstool: Lots of pale legs with bruises all over them what have you girls been doing all winter Saturday, May 03, 2014 2:41:11 PMTwitter for Android
Free mint juleps for Derby Day, a la my dude bartender. Saturday, May 03, 2014 2:15:30 PMTwitter for Android
Do I have enough souvenir cups? http://t.co/ZSkHwvmshr Friday, May 02, 2014 11:04:59 PMTwitter for Android
Bald Vinny just retweeted my public twitter acct tweet. I am honored Friday, May 02, 2014 5:06:20 PMTwitter for Android
Remix to Ignition to pregame the Yankees. Fuckers Friday, May 02, 2014 3:25:39 PMTwitter for Android
Drankin all day watchin 90s and 2000s rap/R&B vids before we chill with @baldvinny in 203 later Friday, May 02, 2014 3:20:36 PMTwitter for Android
In Newwwwww Yorkkkkkj. Concrete jungle where all our trains deraiiiilllll Friday, May 02, 2014 11:54:21 AMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 because Fairfield gets cheap no name assholes for concerts.
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Wednesday, April 30, 2014 11:08:30 PMTwitter for Android
Ima sneak this bud light outta the bar, you guys Wednesday, April 30, 2014 10:35:58 PMTwitter for Android
They didn't call me Joe Spanky in college for nothin' you guys Wednesday, April 30, 2014 10:34:41 PMTwitter for Android
The owner of this bar reminds me of that dude from Aqua Teen Hunger Force with the hairy back Wednesday, April 30, 2014 10:04:01 PMTwitter for Android
Shit. Am I on call tonight? Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:54:37 PMTwitter for Android
Get a load a this old fuck at bikini bar. Guys like bald and 65 mackin it on the bikini bartenders Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:53:21 PMTwitter for Android
This bikini bartender is what you call a "thick girl" Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:49:33 PMTwitter for Android
Stop smoking fuckin cigarettes @MalJNew Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:29:31 PMTwitter for Android
Best. Photobomb. Ever. http://t.co/lwIu8XtLfx Wednesday, April 30, 2014 8:58:27 PMTwitter for Android
This motherfucker is on call if the system shits the bed and will be going to bikini bar next. Wednesday, April 30, 2014 8:51:34 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck the fuckin Flyers. I hate Philly. And Philly Meg Wednesday, April 30, 2014 8:40:51 PMTwitter for Android
Sorry Mals, but based on Emma Stone's Tonight Show appearance, I must cheat on you with her. Wednesday, April 30, 2014 12:10:14 AMTwitter for Android Tablets
All corruption.... Saturday, April 26, 2014 9:20:28 PMTwitter for Android
Dave Robertson is my homeslice Saturday, April 26, 2014 4:14:24 PMTwitter for Android
Having a religious experience via root beer float with @MalJNew Saturday, April 26, 2014 1:53:55 PMTwitter for Android
Also, if the toilet is clogged at work, wasn't me maybe Friday, April 25, 2014 11:54:28 PMTwitter for Android
And furthermore Susan, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if... Friday, April 25, 2014 10:32:14 PMTwitter for Android
Pistol grip pump in my lap at all times Friday, April 25, 2014 10:08:25 PMTwitter for Android
Bitches http://t.co/JjSTFAd09g Friday, April 25, 2014 8:46:47 PMTwitter for Android
Edgar is fly as fuck right now http://t.co/efFZUWj5v3 Friday, April 25, 2014 8:38:17 PMTwitter for Android
So if your gf has the hots for another girl, a threesome is acceptable, right? Friday, April 25, 2014 7:56:07 PMTwitter for Android
Hobbs is trying to fuck Renninger. Guaranteed. Friday, April 25, 2014 7:53:43 PMTwitter for Android
It smells like menthol cigarettes and Chinese food Friday, April 25, 2014 3:16:45 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 worse than the MTA
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, April 25, 2014 3:08:50 PMTwitter for Android
Our regular bartender just gave me a Jolly Rancher before I went back to the office. You know, so I don't reek of booze. Friday, April 25, 2014 2:59:41 PMTwitter for Android
@portfolioso I lost
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, April 24, 2014 8:18:45 PMTwitter for Android
Beyond #mailtime at work today. Aka went to NY Tech Day for hours to talk to other companies. Thursday, April 24, 2014 4:11:32 PMTwitter for Android
Cue the Pine-da headline in the NY Post tomorrow Wednesday, April 23, 2014 9:08:22 PMTwitter for Android
Come on Jeets. Don't be useless Wednesday, April 23, 2014 9:07:25 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel da yankees Wednesday, April 23, 2014 7:53:06 PMTwitter for Android
This fuckin guy has pine tar on his hand? Jesus fuckin christ Wednesday, April 23, 2014 7:52:06 PMTwitter for Android
"I went to an Alanis Morisette concert in the height of my grunge days!" -@MalJNew ¿WUT? Wednesday, April 23, 2014 2:28:19 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito I was at a recruiting event and they're hiring entry level customer support. Check it Wednesday, April 23, 2014 9:34:23 AMTwitter for Android
I think if I did work in a morgue, I'd be able to have more coherent convos with dead fucking bodies. Monday, April 21, 2014 5:33:26 PMTwitter for Android
How the fuck am I supposed to understand what he's saying all the time. He's like an Asian cave man. Grunting and speaking 2 word sentences. Monday, April 21, 2014 5:32:39 PMTwitter for Android
I don't think you actually understand what its like to work with this dude Tun Tun. Guys nice but FUCK. Would rather work in a morgue. Monday, April 21, 2014 5:31:04 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito Linkin Park's last two albums suck balls
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Monday, April 21, 2014 5:26:41 PMTwitter for Android
Can anyone tell me what Nelly meant by an "L" in his song ride wit me. I mean I know its some kind of weed but I don't get the abbreviation Saturday, April 19, 2014 11:01:30 PMTwitter for Android
So if I ever say "woman make me a sandwich" its not because I'm a sexistnpig. Its because I'm an inferior chef and you'd make it better Thursday, April 17, 2014 10:42:34 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel my chef career Thursday, April 17, 2014 10:39:15 PMTwitter for Android
suck at making burgers on the foreman. If you want a burger, I won't make it for you because mine suck. They are dry, unflavored and uneven. Thursday, April 17, 2014 10:37:45 PMTwitter for Android
A chip off the old block. Like my pops, I don't take criticism well... At all. Thursday, April 17, 2014 10:33:04 PMTwitter for Android
Carly and @MalJNew talking about/playing with their boobs made me a little tingly. Had to walk away Thursday, April 17, 2014 7:42:23 PMTwitter for Android
Accidentally got tipsy at lunch Thursday, April 17, 2014 2:38:09 PMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin I'm not. I throw bows
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Thursday, April 17, 2014 2:26:19 PMTwitter for Android
"I need to get myself a Yankee friend girlfriend. FAN. I meant fan." -me Thursday, April 17, 2014 2:21:11 PMTwitter for Android
Was gonna go to the strip club tomorrow at lunch, but then remembered it's Good Friday. Don't think Jesus would be too kosher with that... Thursday, April 17, 2014 2:01:05 PMTwitter for Android