9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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TweetDateSource
"I'm fuckin stellar as fuck" -@BadPointer Friday, March 21, 2014 12:06:30 AMTwitter for Android
The waiter flat out wants to bang Niraj. He's working it reallll good for discounts #RussianNight Thursday, March 20, 2014 11:18:37 PMTwitter for Android
"Is this half? We have full drinks in Italy" Thursday, March 20, 2014 10:53:14 PMTwitter for Android
"The waiter told me we weren't allowed to bring our own vodka. But it's okay. I told him he was good looking" -Niraj Thursday, March 20, 2014 10:22:43 PMTwitter for Android
Gio and I can't stop talking about balls Thursday, March 20, 2014 10:14:21 PMTwitter for Android
Director of Special Things Thursday, March 20, 2014 10:01:43 PMTwitter for Android
Are you into black girls @BadPointer Thursday, March 20, 2014 9:48:48 PMTwitter for Android
RT @chisoxbarstool: @BarstoolJJ Fuck the establishment bro! Thursday, March 20, 2014 5:08:56 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: Didn't fill out a single bracket and not a single fuck was given. Thursday, March 20, 2014 2:33:32 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Such a hipster, brah
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, March 19, 2014 6:38:48 PMTwitter for Android
Yanks are winning the series this year, mark my words Tuesday, March 18, 2014 1:46:15 PMTwitter for Android
I just got a perfect score in #QuizUp! I'm obviously a true Zen Master! https://t.co/Xkhx4GqO3G http://t.co/RfKK1xRcdM Monday, March 17, 2014 9:57:30 PMTwitter for Android
Pat: "These Irish boys are just howlin' at the moon right now" Monday, March 17, 2014 9:31:39 PMTwitter for Android
Honestly, my gyro cart guy Mohammed is legit the nicest. Monday, March 17, 2014 7:45:12 PMTwitter for Android
Not pleased that there's someone with either tuberculosis or lung cancer on this plane. Someone quarantine this bitch! Sunday, March 16, 2014 2:50:51 PMTwitter for Android
Is bullshit. Why is this fuckin river not green. The fuck mon Saturday, March 15, 2014 4:33:02 PMTwitter for Android
I LOVE how cab in Chicago let you take like 9 people in one car. Would never fly in new York. Saturday, March 15, 2014 4:22:42 PMTwitter for Android
RT @chisoxbarstool: If I was married to a supermodel and some website pointed out how huge my son's hog was I'd be effin pumped Saturday, March 15, 2014 4:02:13 PMTwitter for Android
These sluts remind me of my cousin Saturday, March 15, 2014 3:59:56 PMTwitter for Android
Me three RT @chisoxbarstool Looking back I'm pretty positive I got roofied last night Saturday, March 15, 2014 3:26:50 PMTwitter for Android
My boy's visiting NYC next weekend. It's gonna be a faaaahhhkin disaster Saturday, March 15, 2014 2:59:56 PMTwitter for Android
I'm wasted Saturday, March 15, 2014 2:11:42 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure Matt McConaughey is at this party Saturday, March 15, 2014 1:57:42 PMTwitter for Android
Just pulled the recovery Saturday, March 15, 2014 1:55:21 PMTwitter for Android
I love Chicago. The natives fuck up vowels so hard it hurts Saturday, March 15, 2014 1:48:12 PMTwitter for Android
Bacon, eggs and Jameson Saturday, March 15, 2014 11:42:43 AMTwitter for Android
Booker loves the CAC http://t.co/NyORqHNxpK Saturday, March 15, 2014 9:58:43 AMTwitter for Android
It's 8:30 am and I'm going on a mimosa run. I need to reevaluate my life Saturday, March 15, 2014 9:38:44 AMTwitter for Android
I'm still drunk RT @BarstoolJJ My phone is covered in Fireball and @chisoxbarstool is on my couch. How's your life? Saturday, March 15, 2014 9:37:52 AMTwitter for Android
I may or may not have gotten drunk and wrote nasty shit about McGivern on the chalkboard in the bar bathroom Saturday, March 15, 2014 1:42:19 AMTwitter for Android
For real. Whoever farted in here, it wasn't me. I know I'm a flatulent motherfucker, but it wasn't me. Ya heard?! Saturday, March 15, 2014 12:15:46 AMTwitter for Android
FUCK McGivern
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, March 15, 2014 12:14:13 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck'em http://t.co/inLInICh6k Friday, March 14, 2014 11:33:45 PMTwitter for Android
Accidentally got drunk in Chicago. Capone sent me. Friday, March 14, 2014 11:21:27 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Hay
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Friday, March 14, 2014 11:11:16 PMTwitter for Android
"You have the bladder of an infant" -sooozyq to Eric Friday, March 14, 2014 11:08:12 PMTwitter for Android
I might be wasted Friday, March 14, 2014 10:46:56 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Mal. You just ordered our 3rd pitcher of margs? Friday, March 14, 2014 10:44:28 PMTwitter for Android
I'm in Chicago during the wrong time period. I wanna hang with Johnny Torrio and Al Capone Friday, March 14, 2014 10:30:33 PMTwitter for Android
Did I just get roofied? Friday, March 14, 2014 10:27:39 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: My entire life I thought the Pearl Jam lyrics were "Jeremy's Spoken" not "Jeremy Spoke In." Just found out last nite #Bars… Friday, March 14, 2014 2:16:28 PMTwitter for Android
"I have a thing for messes. I can rehabilitate them." *pause* "...With my dick." Friday, March 14, 2014 2:15:55 PMTwitter for Android
Just got this beer called "Yeast..?" Ummmmm probably not the best marketing name for it. Its iight Friday, March 14, 2014 1:46:10 PMTwitter for Android
Please explain to me how I, a grammar Nazi, lost a match on Quizzup in the grammar category to someone in fuckin India Friday, March 14, 2014 10:34:56 AMTwitter for Android
Ya don't need to post 9 tbt pics in a row, fuckfaces. Friday, March 14, 2014 1:37:03 AMTwitter for Android
If I don't get banned from a bar in Chi city, this weekend will be a failure Friday, March 14, 2014 12:20:02 AMTwitter for Android
This plane is the whitest. I also guess it snowed here... Leave it up to me to fly from no snow to snowinzn the winter. Thursday, March 13, 2014 11:44:46 PMTwitter for Android
Chi city bound for St. Paddy's. Disaster bound Thursday, March 13, 2014 9:10:35 PMTwitter for Android
I've informed the pilot not to turn off our plane's transponder. Thursday, March 13, 2014 9:09:50 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: Thank god for Thowback Thursday or i would have forgotten how much I hated you the first time you posted that picture. Thursday, March 13, 2014 8:19:44 PMTwitter for Android
McGivern: Shut your whore mouth Thursday, March 13, 2014 3:33:10 PMTwitter for Android
McGivern is the only dick standing in the way of my 3 day weekend Thursday, March 13, 2014 2:40:40 PMTwitter for Android
Tuesday morning booster: "Cat's outta the bag. We're gonna see the glory hole soon!" -@MalJNew http://t.co/qs6ckWLAKo Tuesday, March 11, 2014 9:15:23 AMTwitter for Android
Cuncel da release Tuesday, March 11, 2014 8:25:59 AMTwitter for Android
The chick in the Cohen's fashion optical ads is 100% dtf Sunday, March 09, 2014 7:10:57 PMTwitter for Android
My grandma hasn't stopped making fun of me since I walked in after I confused cucumbers and zucchini. Sunday, March 09, 2014 6:59:31 PMTwitter for Android
A la la la la long Sunday, March 09, 2014 4:37:00 PMTwitter for Android
I'm wasted Sunday, March 09, 2014 2:52:25 PMTwitter for Android
I think the entire black church showed up for brunch Sunday, March 09, 2014 2:40:14 PMTwitter for Android
Bro. We are all about that snack gsme Saturday, March 08, 2014 11:45:44 PMTwitter for Android
Omg I think I'm getting wasted Saturday, March 08, 2014 9:33:08 PMTwitter for Android
Super Nintendo Sega Genesis. When I was dead broke man I couldn't picture this. Saturday, March 08, 2014 9:25:43 PMTwitter for Android
Doing the power hour, then Colin's vday. Were fucked. Brunch tomorrow too Saturday, March 08, 2014 9:16:36 PMTwitter for Android
Lesson from Pat: "Strippers are so much better than your girlfriend" Friday, March 07, 2014 1:18:14 AMTwitter for Android
Why is there so much fuckin traffic on the 59th st bridge. Hopefully McGivern jumped off it Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:55:55 PMTwitter for Android
Let's go to the 11103 Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:32:03 PMTwitter for Android
I wanna fuck up a drum set and pretend it's cocksucker McGivern's sac Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:13:33 PMTwitter for Android
This band is fuckin awesome. I hate drinking and frat bars and I'm thoroughly enjoying this Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:13:05 PMTwitter for Android
Which one of you cocksuckers wanna get me a beer Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:12:41 PMTwitter for Android
I'm not joking about this band Thursday, March 06, 2014 9:51:41 PMTwitter for Android
This cover band is sick. Covering 90s rock. They're hired for my wedding. Whenever that may be. Thursday, March 06, 2014 9:41:01 PMTwitter for Android
This cocksucker motherfucker wants to mentor me? He can surely eat a bag of dicks. I wouldn't be like him if you paid me millions. Thursday, March 06, 2014 8:20:37 PMTwitter for Android
Whole making a jerking off motion, I just accidentally elbowed the waitress Thursday, March 06, 2014 7:39:28 PMTwitter for Android
This is some lightning storm I tell you... ⚡ ⚡ Wednesday, March 05, 2014 12:25:06 AMTwitter for Android
Betcha $20 this hood chick's name is Sharkesha. Tuesday, March 04, 2014 10:19:09 PMTwitter for Android
This fucking R train should pull out of Queens plaza instead of waiting for two fucking Es Tuesday, March 04, 2014 9:34:36 PMTwitter for Android
Yup. Had to have photo evidence of my last tweet. Sorry for the blurry. Zoomed to the max, creeper style http://t.co/uKCJrdHMzz Tuesday, March 04, 2014 8:44:46 PMTwitter for Android
Frank Romano is slaying pussy at this alumni event. Except... I'm sure he doesn't realize he's doing it. Tuesday, March 04, 2014 8:41:06 PMTwitter for Android
Awwwww. Alexey drew me a picture. Betcha @MalJNew is jealous http://t.co/UpFmXvouLf Tuesday, March 04, 2014 3:25:38 PMTwitter for Android
Walked in to work with a suit and tie. Stick out like a sore thumb. Got the worst look from McGivern. I hope he thinks I'm leaving. Tuesday, March 04, 2014 9:38:46 AMTwitter for Android
My balls are shriveling waiting for this late asses train. #MTA Tuesday, March 04, 2014 7:38:48 AMTwitter for Android
Welp, never did that before Monday, March 03, 2014 7:33:38 AMTwitter for Android
This bitch singing at the Oscars is God awful. Breathy as fuck Sunday, March 02, 2014 9:25:55 PMTwitter for Android
McGivern will be on my rollout call tonight. I just died a little inside. No one likes you, cunt muscle. Sunday, March 02, 2014 3:27:34 PMTwitter for Android
Finally off the phone withe these cunt motherfuckers Time Warner Saturday, March 01, 2014 8:47:43 PMTwitter for Android
WOW. Time Warner's automated system can't even recognize the fucking zip code. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:47:18 PMTwitter for Android
I'd rather shove a red hot rusty nail through my dick than to deal with this incompetent piece of shit company Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:42:05 PMTwitter for Android
Apparently, if you cancel Time Warner's shit service, they don't actually do it. Incompetent fucks. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:41:16 PMTwitter for Android
Even when Time Warner was installed that shit, it never worked. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:38:23 PMTwitter for Android
Time Warner is the worse fucking piece of shit company possible Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:35:57 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking Time Warner cocksuckers. We legit called to schedule an installation and we get an email that they canceled the installation. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:35:39 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking foursquare is down Saturday, March 01, 2014 12:01:01 PMTwitter for Android
Had Mexican for lunch and dinner yesterday. Needless to say, this has been tweeted from the shitter. Saturday, March 01, 2014 10:20:22 AMTwitter for Android
The most epic niddhog battle between @SonicBlur23 and the Munz Saturday, March 01, 2014 12:58:44 AMTwitter for Android
I don't hate the fact that @MalJNew is currently in the mirror practicing the black girl booty twerk Friday, February 28, 2014 8:07:28 AMTwitter for Android
You don't even understand the number of dicks everyone here should suck right now. Thursday, February 27, 2014 5:41:21 PMTwitter for Android
This meeting is a screamfest Thursday, February 27, 2014 5:27:01 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio that was a good one!
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Thursday, February 27, 2014 2:27:50 PMTwitter for Android
Guy just walked into our building wearing a tshirt. Bro. Its like 18 degrees Thursday, February 27, 2014 2:24:56 PMTwitter for Android
Didn't even get in yet and this dumb bitch VP is all up my ass because his monitoring triggered 3 false alarms. Bitch, everyone disposes you Thursday, February 27, 2014 8:42:33 AMTwitter for Android