9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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How pissed is wifey that her side piece is flirtin tho. Hahhahah Thursday, July 30, 2015 7:26:14 PMTwitter for Android
They're waiting for the winter to freeze the Β ice Β for my coolatta at dunkins #moovit Tuesday, July 28, 2015 11:59:48 AMTwitter for Android
I legit lugged three laptops home from the bar #felloffthetruck #justkidding Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:24:26 AMTwitter for Android
.@MTA why would you cunts only open one lane on the 59th St. bridge? No ones even fuckin working. Grease that union shitheads Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:10:04 AMTwitter for Android
Sorry, not into Queen. Only one ever not into it. Sorry not sorry. Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:06:50 AMTwitter for Android
I have to release software at 7am tho Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:00:47 AMTwitter for Android
Although Vinny, Lanny and Mal are all smoking cigarettes in the cab for an extra negotiated tip. Gross, bit not BO Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:00:32 AMTwitter for Android
So 11k? Not 56k? Monday, July 27, 2015 11:59:38 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck. I think I did the math wrong http://t.co/J6Q3ZaK5fN Monday, July 27, 2015 11:59:02 PMTwitter for Android
Cabbie is ripe right now. By ripe? Onions. By onions? BO aka no deodorant. Monday, July 27, 2015 11:52:34 PMTwitter for Android
I'm drunk and doing math and tweeting at NASA to confirm my New Horizons data rate. Need to get my life together #geek Monday, July 27, 2015 10:36:09 PMTwitter for Android
@NASA @NASANewHorizons is this correct? We can get almost double 56k back from New Horizons? http://t.co/xnVrvZ9eQo
In reply to @NASA's tweet
Monday, July 27, 2015 10:35:14 PMTwitter for Android
Can we get a puppy? @MalJNew Monday, July 27, 2015 10:30:25 PMTwitter for Android
I just realized it's only Monday and I'm already at the bar Monday, July 27, 2015 9:20:34 PMTwitter for Android
Yo barkeep. Stop talking to broad barkeep and get me a drink. Monday, July 27, 2015 8:53:36 PMTwitter for Android
.@NYCTSubway I can crawl backwards on broken glass faster than the southbound 4/5 in Manhattan. How dare your status says good service. Monday, July 27, 2015 9:02:40 AMTwitter for Android
My boy Danny's here. Borderline degenerate. It's like we're in Wildwood, except we're in Queens Friday, July 24, 2015 9:25:46 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, CC. You suck at life Friday, July 24, 2015 8:29:47 PMTwitter for Android
Just crashed a taxi's point of sale by trying to pay with @googlewallet / NFC on my phone. Buggy POS (pun intended) Thursday, July 23, 2015 11:51:12 PMTwitter for Android
I fuckin hate Serge Tuesday, July 21, 2015 10:57:07 PMTwitter for Android
I'm not pissing next to these two suits. Tuesday, July 21, 2015 10:37:41 PMTwitter for Android
Let's all go to the bar and take body shots off Vinny Tuesday, July 21, 2015 9:24:53 PMTwitter for Android
"I take one lens out so I can wink at bitches" http://t.co/cfya7o5Ap3 Tuesday, July 21, 2015 8:32:07 PMTwitter for Android
Confirmed: The Minion in the McDonalds happy meal does indeed say "what the fuck." Saturday, July 18, 2015 9:48:21 PMTwitter for Android
Dat show tho. I just Thursday, July 16, 2015 11:41:36 PMTwitter for Android
I cannot believe I'm seeing my bff Dave and the awesome Foo Fighters at Citifield. Zomgz Thursday, July 16, 2015 8:34:16 PMTwitter for Android
Cabbie legit floored it over a double yellow line to pass someone @MalJNew
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Wednesday, July 15, 2015 10:20:22 PMTwitter for Android
Why did the @googlecalendar Android app use 18% of my battery today and I didn't even open it once. Come on http://t.co/MLvjTUd0hL Wednesday, July 15, 2015 3:00:59 PMTwitter for Android
Google really needs to organize their emoji menu better on Android on the grounds that I can NEVER find the poop emoji. Why's it with faces? Wednesday, July 15, 2015 12:32:59 PMTwitter for Android
"She should've kept on the bottle" -@MalJNew Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:55:24 PMTwitter for Android
Great excuse: I'd do it but I'm gonna be camping that day Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:54:45 PMTwitter for Android
Did Tex do a little grab ass or am I seeing things? @BarstoolJJ Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:41:53 PMTwitter for Android
Cincinasty Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:27:49 PMTwitter for Android
This fucking guy there like 8 pitches and is averaging over a hundo. Just threw 103 Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:25:54 PMTwitter for Android
This motherfucker's throwing 102 Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:24:43 PMTwitter for Android
Ken Rosenthal is awful Tuesday, July 14, 2015 10:40:41 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew don't get murdered
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Tuesday, July 14, 2015 10:29:59 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 guy's got fantastic hair
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Tuesday, July 14, 2015 10:29:46 PMTwitter for Android
These fuckups http://t.co/yLFvPAJGMH Tuesday, July 14, 2015 8:45:14 PMTwitter for Android
@TWC_Help Why is my internet out? Tuesday, July 14, 2015 8:31:07 PMTwitter for Android
NBD, just gonna fly by Pluto in a few hours. #NewHorizons #NASANewHorizons Tuesday, July 14, 2015 12:39:50 AMTwitter for Android
I'd also commit crimes to be at an Everclear concert right now Saturday, July 11, 2015 12:16:30 AMTwitter for Android
I'm sorry, but ain't nothing better than coming home from school in '98, throwing on VH1 and watching Semisonic's Closing Time. Saturday, July 11, 2015 12:14:09 AMTwitter for Android
Soccer players are just the hottest. Hey @MalJNew didn't you play soccer? yeahhhhhhhhhhpppp Friday, July 10, 2015 11:58:54 PMTwitter for Android
Dude. Just realized I've been working with php since like 2002 and v 4x...

I'm an antique...
Friday, July 10, 2015 9:57:56 PMTwitter for Android
Bells. I can't even get drunk anymore off beer but it gets you drunk Friday, July 10, 2015 8:39:50 PMTwitter for Android
"You dumb but you a bitch" Friday, July 10, 2015 8:37:00 PMTwitter for Android
DUMB BITCH Friday, July 10, 2015 8:36:42 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 yes. My mom saves anything I ever touched in our attic
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Thursday, July 09, 2015 7:53:16 PMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin very good point. I'm a paranoia. I'm public and I take marketing g accounts that follow me and make them unfollow me
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Wednesday, July 08, 2015 10:05:56 PMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin why is that an issue? You need to accept people to follow you if you're private
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Wednesday, July 08, 2015 9:53:52 PMTwitter for Android
You can take summer and shove it with this heat and humidity. Give me fall and winter any day Wednesday, July 08, 2015 9:45:42 PMTwitter for Android
6 trains going the other way though #fuckingmta Wednesday, July 08, 2015 8:50:49 AMTwitter for Android
First day back. 0 trains showing up and there's some parade for women's soccer to get in my way Wednesday, July 08, 2015 8:50:02 AMTwitter for Android
Got some drink coupons I have no business having Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:20:10 PMTwitter for Android
Protip: phones done interfere with airplane electronics Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:14:02 PMTwitter for Android
Not in airplane mode and were taking off. Sue me Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:13:41 PMTwitter for Android
LaGuardia airport ranked worst airport in all of the US of A. Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:11:17 PMTwitter for Android
Ladies and gentlemen.... New York. Greatest city in the world with the world's worst infrastructure. Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:10:44 PMTwitter for Android
Pilot: "Delay is due to air traffic issues at LaGuardia. They do this to us all the time"

Not thunderstorms ya fuckin cunts
Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:10:24 PMTwitter for Android
Couple issues on this flight: 1) I already broke the seal. 2) I smell like a bar and there's a kid next to me I'm a bad influence towards Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:03:42 PMTwitter for Android
@TylerMJones @tomwcleary we should've just let them secede from the union
In reply to @TylerMJones's tweet
Tuesday, July 07, 2015 4:52:05 PMTwitter for Android
Flight got delayed so I accidentally went to the brewery and drank a lot Tuesday, July 07, 2015 4:47:57 PMTwitter for Android
@Fantasy_Mania Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west
A state that's untouchable likeΒ ... http://t.co/sbrq8PLUNZ
Sunday, July 05, 2015 10:30:43 PMTwitter for Android
Good lookin' guy, that Ben Affleck Sunday, July 05, 2015 9:58:10 PMTwitter for Android
πŸŽ†πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸŽ† Murica! πŸŽ†πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸŽ† https://t.co/hikIFGpo5P Saturday, July 04, 2015 10:40:02 PMTwitter for Android
What the hell is up with Android and its American flag emoji that displays as two blue letters saying "U S" Saturday, July 04, 2015 10:36:21 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ what a see you next Tuesday
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Saturday, July 04, 2015 10:29:11 PMTwitter for Android
It's 2015 in a civilized country and we've got people dying from measles. Murrica Friday, July 03, 2015 4:49:57 PMTwitter for Android
2012 Nexus 7 runs like absolute asshole on Lollipop. Maybe 6.0 will fix this? http://t.co/kW0GydOlKM #android #feedly Friday, July 03, 2015 4:37:28 PMTwitter for Android
@GadsdenMarc out of curiosity, who do you support the most right now in the GOP for 2016?
In reply to @GadsdenMarc's tweet
Friday, July 03, 2015 4:12:28 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio Awesome!! If you can get the recording, I'd love to hear it someday
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Friday, July 03, 2015 4:08:11 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio also excellent
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Friday, July 03, 2015 3:55:45 PMTwitter for Android
SiriusXM 34: Lithium. Makes me all like πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜πŸ˜† @RockNationRadio Friday, July 03, 2015 3:39:26 PMTwitter for Android
*seeing
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, July 02, 2015 10:04:11 PMTwitter for Android
Mind is beyond blown that we're finally sein Pluto for the first time. Soooo cooollll http://t.co/y1tLF7Jyqz #space #feedly Thursday, July 02, 2015 10:00:14 PMTwitter for Android
@RMerlinDev Is there a way to reset my openvpn config? After a few upgrades, I cannot get DNS to resolve anymore when connected Thursday, July 02, 2015 9:48:22 AMTwitter for Android
For real, Oman and Qatar get updates before the US? That's just jacked up. @Motorola Wednesday, July 01, 2015 2:08:29 PMTwitter for Android
Absolutely absurd that this update hit like every country except the US. Murrica ain't at the top anymore πŸ˜‘
http://t.co/jlixiAJD1B
Wednesday, July 01, 2015 2:06:14 PMTwitter for Android
Wouldn't kill them to turn the AC up a little bit at LaGuardia, Murrica's worst ranked airport Wednesday, July 01, 2015 11:10:46 AMTwitter for Android
I picked tonight as my drinking night because I have an extra leap second to sober up, cunts. Tuesday, June 30, 2015 10:48:04 PMTwitter for Android
MFK: Freddy's girl, Gio's girl Or Haas' side girl? Tuesday, June 30, 2015 9:27:44 PMTwitter for Android
Tonight we are all conductors Tuesday, June 30, 2015 9:10:11 PMTwitter for Android
Pour one out for Vinny. Got my conductor hat on. Tuesday, June 30, 2015 9:08:11 PMTwitter for Android
"I believe in gay pride, not gay shots" -Father Gio Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:53:47 PMTwitter for Android
NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN 😈😈😈😠😠😠😀 Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:45:50 PMTwitter for Android
Yo Haas. Nice job on the cumad Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:35:10 PMTwitter for Android
Murrica. Go soccer... Or whatnot Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:32:20 PMTwitter for Android
It's women's soccer. No one cares Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:20:20 PMTwitter for Android
Why is it that every girl I texted to hang with us at the bar wants to s Vinny's d? Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:05:36 PMTwitter for Android
( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°) Tuesday, June 30, 2015 7:28:38 PMTwitter for Android
If you don't think I'm going to bikini bar at 4, you're sadly mistaken. Yes I'm working today. Yes, I did more than my whole team combined. Tuesday, June 30, 2015 1:52:26 PMTwitter for Android
"She was dating this guy with thick black

glasses" -@MalJNew
Tuesday, June 30, 2015 1:42:09 PMTwitter for Android
This Kim Jung Un looking motherfucker should walk faster and get out of my way on the sidewalk Tuesday, June 30, 2015 12:55:03 PMTwitter for Android
A+ mix from the All-Star Rapalong category on @GooglePlayMusic. Happy Tuesday! http://t.co/22uP5hosd5 Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:31:26 AMTwitter for Android
Shit makes no sense
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, June 29, 2015 9:57:19 PMTwitter for Android
#Wishing you have received it by the end up in a couple weeks and then delete the message was sent from the airport to pick it is addressed Monday, June 29, 2015 9:57:04 PMTwitter for Android
In my next tweet, I will pick a word and let my dictionary suggest the next word and see what sentence it makes... Monday, June 29, 2015 9:56:23 PMTwitter for Android
"Aren't you glad that instead of sleeping in you're riding around with me in a UHaul." YES Pat, I am. Saturday, June 27, 2015 9:22:03 AMTwitter for Android
The one time I bring lunch these fucking cunts clean the fridge and throw it out Friday, June 26, 2015 1:34:23 PMTwitter for Android