9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Temporarily needed to go private because of crazy spammers Thursday, September 10, 2015 9:22:42 AMTwitter for Android
Good. Hope this hedge fund guy destroys them. Fuck Herbalife. I unfollowed someone for being obsessed with that shit http://t.co/rTBwOOUS4e Wednesday, September 09, 2015 11:28:25 AMTwitter for Android
Jeb Bush: your tie knot sucks. You're a failure at life. Wednesday, September 09, 2015 12:28:38 AMTwitter for Android
Dafuq is Colbert doing right now? Selling Hummus and doing weird myth shit #cuncel Tuesday, September 08, 2015 11:52:40 PMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this goofy ass looking search bar in the latest Google update. Phone looks like a cartoon now. http://t.co/P09N8ltnMl Tuesday, September 08, 2015 11:42:17 PMTwitter for Android
#lolmets with this Harvey pitch limit pussification. Yanks tried this before with the Joba Rule. That worked out swimmingly... Tuesday, September 08, 2015 4:22:21 PMTwitter for Android
Motherfucker's gonna cook some meth http://t.co/Tyd66VWuUK Sunday, September 06, 2015 10:32:07 AMTwitter for Android
It's 10am and I'm somewhere in between "fuckin hammered" and raging hangover Sunday, September 06, 2015 10:22:58 AMTwitter for Android
Reverend Pussy Popper Sunday, September 06, 2015 2:27:10 AMTwitter for Android
I'm awesome all the time... But especially after drinking. Sunday, September 06, 2015 1:33:49 AMTwitter for Android
"Took my tylenol off" -me. I meant tie #drunk Sunday, September 06, 2015 1:14:02 AMTwitter for Android
Legit I was within 500 feet of Paul O'Neil and no one told me. #fml
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, September 06, 2015 1:02:48 AMTwitter for Android
#fml
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, September 06, 2015 12:46:46 AMTwitter for Android
Get the fuck out of here... I was in a park in Cincinnati for a wedding and motherfuckin Paul O'Neil was at another wedding Sunday, September 06, 2015 12:46:20 AMTwitter for Android
Just convinced an Uber driver to fit 7 people in a Chevy Cobalt. This would never fly in New York Saturday, September 05, 2015 11:57:25 PMTwitter for Android
They are moshing to Andrew WK at this wedding right now. #mystatus Saturday, September 05, 2015 9:44:02 PMTwitter for Android
My life is a joke. You can't even make this shit up Saturday, September 05, 2015 6:50:47 PMTwitter for Android
Sick customer your fuckin ass. Get the asshole off the train and move along. Friday, September 04, 2015 4:11:23 PMTwitter for Android
@MTA cunts Friday, September 04, 2015 4:07:23 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck the fuckin MTA. Legit my last day in this city before vacation & they're being miserable cunts just turning fuckin local trains express Friday, September 04, 2015 4:07:08 PMTwitter for Android
@NYCTSubway why would you take a queens bound R train at queens plaza and turn it express? Rude. Friday, September 04, 2015 4:01:48 PMTwitter for Android
I've got a 10am with my VP and I usually roll in at like 10:30 son. #welpshit Friday, September 04, 2015 12:06:44 AMTwitter for Android
RT @sadserver: the first stage of deployment is "denial" Thursday, September 03, 2015 10:50:43 PMTwitter for Android
RAGEFEST Wednesday, September 02, 2015 7:50:04 PMTwitter for Android
@NYCTSubway that was earlier. One showed up but holy shit the MTA is going to make me leave new york
In reply to @NYCTSubway's tweet
Wednesday, September 02, 2015 7:43:51 PMTwitter for Android
@NYCTSubway 59th st
In reply to @NYCTSubway's tweet
Wednesday, September 02, 2015 7:43:21 PMTwitter for Android
@NYCTSubway WHY were there 5 Queens bound N/Q trains in a row? Some of us need the R. Wednesday, September 02, 2015 7:34:44 PMTwitter for Android
Watching gramps diagram our cabinet move is the most painful thing ever. Tuesday, September 01, 2015 2:25:41 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu party animal. Guy goes to Miami and Vegas in one shot. #ballin'
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Sunday, August 30, 2015 2:47:06 AMTwitter for Android
Ordered Dominos at 12:40. It's still not here. The only acceptable excuse is the delivery guy died in a car accident. #cunts Sunday, August 30, 2015 2:15:41 AMTwitter for Android
TREES @mscanlon32 @nickianora Sunday, August 30, 2015 1:22:04 AMTwitter for Android
My grandpa and I salute each other when we fart Sunday, August 30, 2015 1:03:07 AMTwitter for Android
Clogged the fuckin toilet at the bar. It was a single bathroom. #sorrynotsorrygetbetterplumbingishitalot Sunday, August 30, 2015 12:35:05 AMTwitter for Android
@BadPointer LOL you know. And wow I shouldn't have tweeted that.
In reply to @BadPointer's tweet
Saturday, August 29, 2015 5:22:03 PMTwitter for Android
I'm gonna make sure some bitch McAsshole knows that the guy he fired who told him to fuck off helped me solve this critical issue. #cunts Saturday, August 29, 2015 3:01:02 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck what you jokers think I am Saturday, August 29, 2015 2:55:55 AMTwitter for Android
This world is donezo Saturday, August 29, 2015 2:34:17 AMTwitter for Android
You know what's sick about Alanis Morisette? My boy Taylor Hawkins was her drummer before he was in Foo Fighters Saturday, August 29, 2015 1:34:38 AMTwitter for Android
My life is awesome and yours sucks Saturday, August 29, 2015 1:27:43 AMTwitter for Android
Key change! Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:29:11 AMTwitter for Android
My heart will go I karaoke... So Titanic Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:28:11 AMTwitter for Android
Haven't had that spirit here since 1969 Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:16:36 AMTwitter for Android
I think my boy Vinny needs to bang the bartender Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:03:58 AMTwitter for Android
I'm down with the bartender karaoke-ing You Oughtta Know. #jussayin Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:02:46 AMTwitter for Android
Kenny's got the chocolat Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:00:38 AMTwitter for Android
Also F- job on the picture courtesy of the 2013 Moto X camera. Friday, August 28, 2015 10:46:55 PMTwitter for Android
Dick parking move. The other bike parked between cars http://t.co/9CjzaEFTTC Friday, August 28, 2015 10:46:03 PMTwitter for Android
Just watched the NYPD come out of an undercover van and raid a deli #butineededbeertho Friday, August 28, 2015 8:06:09 PMTwitter for Android
ORLY Brian? George is spinning in his grave. http://t.co/JTNFM19qJY Thursday, August 27, 2015 11:07:54 PMTwitter for Android
Samsung Sucks! I don't recommend them http://t.co/UKLv3o5aOZ Wednesday, August 26, 2015 11:59:16 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio http://t.co/vkIeuuVd4U Wednesday, August 26, 2015 8:22:55 PMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin Tool just came on at the bar and we were leaving and I was rocking out Tuesday, August 25, 2015 10:33:44 PMTwitter for Android
@BadPointer @MalJNew sixteen eights
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, August 25, 2015 10:15:36 PMTwitter for Android
Went to go out for a drink. Ended up hammered. Tuesday, August 25, 2015 10:14:41 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ cuncel. My gf is a fuckin Indians fan and I got my ass embarrassed.
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Tuesday, August 25, 2015 9:58:45 PMTwitter for Android
@BadPointer "@MalJNew - your fractions suck a cock" Tuesday, August 25, 2015 9:57:49 PMTwitter for Android
@GadsdenMarc This is why I support Deez Nuts for president 2016!
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, August 25, 2015 9:17:53 PMTwitter for Android
@GadsdenMarc USA is so far gone it almost doesn't matter anymore
In reply to @GadsdenMarc's tweet
Tuesday, August 25, 2015 8:34:15 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel da Yankees Tuesday, August 25, 2015 8:33:29 PMTwitter for Android
For real though. I thought Harlem was like being gentrified and shit by hipsters. Thought it was on the up and up. For sure not Monday, August 24, 2015 5:59:31 PMTwitter for Android
I saw no less than 10 people who probably OD'd on heroin, it smells like piss, people try to sell you everything and it's filthy. Monday, August 24, 2015 5:57:32 PMTwitter for Android
I might actually die here. Monday, August 24, 2015 5:55:39 PMTwitter for Android
HOLY CHRIST, Harlem is a fucking shithole. I thought Bloombito and Giuliani had this all cleaned up. Monday, August 24, 2015 5:55:30 PMTwitter for Android
See, told ya Samsung sucks http://t.co/QndcmQYWxf #android #feedly Sunday, August 23, 2015 3:44:21 PMTwitter for Android
@NYCTSubway you should fix the AC on 6 train car 7579 by door R1/R2. It's dripping legionnaires infested water all over the place Sunday, August 23, 2015 2:49:01 PMTwitter for Android
#BAEROD Friday, August 21, 2015 10:10:22 PMTwitter for Android
LOL... I meant to text this to @RockNationRadio and tweeted it by accident. A crazy...
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, August 21, 2015 5:18:33 PMTwitter for Android
Uptown 4 from grand Central. 4. Don't get on the 5 Friday, August 21, 2015 9:51:21 AMTwitter for Android
Someone please make a gif of that meme with those pixelated glasses dropping down over this image: Deal. With. It. https://t.co/4VOdEaenPX Friday, August 21, 2015 1:31:08 AMTwitter for Android
David Justice is probably talking shit about how I can't get his boo that he doesn't even realize I've gotten now. #fuckalexeybear Friday, August 21, 2015 12:36:11 AMTwitter for Android
David Justice is now talking shit about the pale girl with he black guy. Friday, August 21, 2015 12:30:18 AMTwitter for Android
I listened to the entire Alice in Chains Facelift album this morning and I forgot how absolute badass it was. Friday, August 21, 2015 12:04:40 AMTwitter for Android
I mean.. Everyone at my company's celebrating people leaving and we've been drinking for 6 hours already Friday, August 21, 2015 12:00:15 AMTwitter for Android
"Fuck Alexeybear I wanna be your boo!" -David Justice looking ember.js guy Thursday, August 20, 2015 11:59:20 PMTwitter for Android
78% chance I did. Everyone was staring at me with mad eyes but I still don't know Thursday, August 20, 2015 11:57:55 PMTwitter for Android
I may or may not have shattered a glass at the bar tonight but I really can't remember Thursday, August 20, 2015 11:55:32 PMTwitter for Android
Oh word... 10yrs ago I was chillin with the pope in Germany Thursday, August 20, 2015 11:32:37 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck we lose to the last place Indians for @MalJNew Thursday, August 20, 2015 10:52:59 PMTwitter for Android
I need to get the fuck out of this deBlasio ruined, bum infested, cesspool of a city. Monday, August 17, 2015 1:15:07 PMTwitter for Android
Cunts http://t.co/ep7J54k77Q Monday, August 17, 2015 1:14:07 PMTwitter for Android
Remember that time I confused two white people at the Willie Nelson concert? Friday, August 14, 2015 11:29:44 PMTwitter for Android
Once again, what kind of idiot asshole picks the stall next to you in the shitter when they're all empty. Buffer zone, bro. Wednesday, August 12, 2015 10:59:25 AMTwitter for Android
I'm a Special Ed on these drums. davidddddddddd come show me some things Monday, August 10, 2015 9:27:25 PMTwitter for Android
This Metro North train is rocking so violently im seasick. I don't even get seasick Saturday, August 08, 2015 10:59:37 AMTwitter for Android
Bums all over this shithole city. Bill: get lawst http://t.co/9HMiboq5bs Friday, August 07, 2015 7:18:15 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Google Hangouts. Made a WiFi call on it and the person couldn't hear dick Thursday, August 06, 2015 8:20:15 PMTwitter for Android
@Docent_Steve One year ago hahaha. Plus, you found it and called me out on it! http://t.co/E5tIQ4ipVg Thursday, August 06, 2015 8:02:24 PMTwitter for Android
I guess we finally figured out we needed to fire the director of frontend after the whole frontend team quit. #toolate #jokeshop Wednesday, August 05, 2015 2:38:46 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 @nyJULZmd nah, Yanks are winning it all. Arod for World Series MVP
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Monday, August 03, 2015 9:07:47 PMTwitter for Android
"Moto X 2015 is Better Than iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus in Terms of Camera" http://t.co/0DcDrmZVJH @MalJNew suck it Monday, August 03, 2015 4:09:22 PMTwitter for Android
@Fantasy_Mania I'll be Lessahhhhds in person proxy for his team picks
In reply to @Fantasy_Mania's tweet
Saturday, August 01, 2015 3:33:12 PMTwitter for Android
Whenever this cheating bitch is out with us, it destroys my hope for society Friday, July 31, 2015 12:23:02 AMTwitter for Android
Yeah wifeys giving the side piece the runaround for sure #bluestravleler Thursday, July 30, 2015 11:09:35 PMTwitter for Android
@TWC_Help put a space between the username & who you're replying to so it doesn't show up in everyone's feeds and the person gets the tweet
In reply to @TWC_Help's tweet
Thursday, July 30, 2015 11:00:36 PMTwitter for Android
Crushin karaoke, bitches. Maybe I'm a little drunk but my voice is stellar right now. #modest Thursday, July 30, 2015 10:53:37 PMTwitter for Android
Cheating wifey over here judging my boy for being a player. JEEZ Thursday, July 30, 2015 9:11:33 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, CC. Way to blow a 3-0 lead, useless bitch Thursday, July 30, 2015 8:47:00 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio what is the one thing MeatLoaf wouldn't do for love? Thursday, July 30, 2015 8:29:11 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio if I hear oh Sherrie or Rosanna one more time I'm jumping off the world trade #jk
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Thursday, July 30, 2015 8:05:46 PMTwitter for Android
Vinny's jukebox selection is 80s vagina music. #pukecity Thursday, July 30, 2015 7:50:42 PMTwitter for Android