9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| I just wanna get silly and color a picture | Thursday, November 14, 2013 8:10:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Told jeans my shirt said booker sucks | Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:46:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jeans. Hire me for 3/4 of my salary and its a deal. | Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:42:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| DLK 2106 | Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:34:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Edgar's the shit | Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:07:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Drank a little bit at uncubed and told @fogcreek than Kiln is slow as fuck | Thursday, November 14, 2013 6:51:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pregaming uncubed at the bar. Gotta be loose and conversational to recruit like a bosh | Thursday, November 14, 2013 1:52:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The MTA can suck three dicks | Thursday, November 14, 2013 7:40:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| If you need me tomorrow, I'll be shitfaced at @getuncubed. You can find me undefeated at the Booker beer pong table | Wednesday, November 13, 2013 7:24:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| ❄ It's ls 's snowing!!! ❄ | Tuesday, November 12, 2013 8:00:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Now that the series ended, I just started watching Breaking Bad. I've made a huge mistake. | Sunday, November 10, 2013 8:06:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna run train on this buffet | Saturday, November 09, 2013 5:52:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Lennon deal | Thursday, November 07, 2013 2:14:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Lennon all black everything | Wednesday, November 06, 2013 11:53:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just had a great idea for a band. Sad lyrics but very upbeat and happy. #mindfuck | Wednesday, November 06, 2013 11:51:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| on the plus side, zero calorie dinner! In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, November 06, 2013 11:28:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How'd I yack up like 4 beers? I'm such a pussy | Wednesday, November 06, 2013 11:04:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Growlers is the whitest. Especially for tuckahoe | Wednesday, November 06, 2013 10:22:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just called a sombrero a piñerito. #cray | Tuesday, November 05, 2013 9:29:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| McGivern. Eat a fucking dick | Monday, November 04, 2013 3:31:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| And I especially hate that fuckin guy John who's here three days a week and is an old fucking suit who does nothing but bark orders | Monday, November 04, 2013 8:07:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I fucking hate Mondays, Booker, this pedo mustache, the MTA, the 8:02 express from Scarsdale, the 4/5, Lower Manhattan and pooping a lot | Monday, November 04, 2013 8:03:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @smstemp this explains it all http://t.co/lMJX6Q7gtV | Sunday, November 03, 2013 8:18:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mary Poppins the bitch from sound of music | Thursday, October 31, 2013 10:35:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pat said it, so its written in stone | Thursday, October 31, 2013 10:15:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| We're just gonna fuckin play with this sock for 3 hours, I don't give a shit | Thursday, October 31, 2013 10:10:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Halloween theme brah #Knicks | Thursday, October 31, 2013 9:38:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's not racist if it's true.... | Thursday, October 31, 2013 9:22:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 40 wings, 2 burgers, spinach dip and loaded fries. 5 people #rollmehome | Thursday, October 31, 2013 8:38:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo. I need food stat | Thursday, October 31, 2013 8:29:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @KFCBarstool Jesus Christ. These are my sales guys. I shit you not In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet | Thursday, October 31, 2013 4:01:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Chris Christie , The Governor" commercial is spot on. Fuckin guy | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:33:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ken Rosenthal's pussy is so wet right now | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:26:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How much pussy is Papi raking in with that Ski mask | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:25:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mothafuckin beards | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:24:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hhh can't type. Wastey | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:08:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Being a lifeguard is gonna be a real problem you guys. I'm gonna get drink and blow my whistle in suits' faces to puts them off | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:00:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This guy needs to shut his whore mouth | Wednesday, October 30, 2013 11:09:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I want to beat the fuck out of something | Tuesday, October 29, 2013 8:32:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew the woman is supposed to bring ME a sandwich | Monday, October 28, 2013 12:41:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The fact that I'm not hungover is 110% blowing my mind | Sunday, October 27, 2013 8:57:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't remember any of my tweets from last night past the one where I said I was borderline blackout | Sunday, October 27, 2013 8:54:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Don't you know about the bird? B-bb*bird bird bird. Bird is the word | Sunday, October 27, 2013 1:16:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hhh | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:57:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hhhhhhhwasted http://t.co/510MQVPyZI | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:33:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted and watching scream 2 @MalJNew is jelly enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyy | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:24:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Danny Put your mask on cuntt | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:19:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:05:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| JOHN . Pass the wii | Sunday, October 27, 2013 12:05:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Danny just asked me to bring him a water with ice. Fuckin pussy. Drink alcohol bitch | Saturday, October 26, 2013 11:36:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit if I play kings again I'm blacking out | Saturday, October 26, 2013 9:46:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm sitting next to a priest and a scarecrow | Saturday, October 26, 2013 8:59:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @KFCBarstool one time I accidentally stole Drinkwater's seat and I was scared for my life In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet | Saturday, October 26, 2013 8:51:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This pizza smells like the underside of a dick | Saturday, October 26, 2013 7:53:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew sorry I got mad at your can opener. Hhhhhh | Wednesday, October 23, 2013 10:25:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| When half the sales team and VPs are in Vegas getting hammered and selling our shit, and I'm here listening to this suit.... Eat a dick. | Tuesday, October 22, 2013 11:03:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "I've only been doing releases for two years, John. I've only gotten good them since you started" #eatadick | Tuesday, October 22, 2013 10:44:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I may have just pooped a cobra | Sunday, October 20, 2013 3:56:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Legit almost just inhaled a yellow jacket. It was on my lips. | Sunday, October 20, 2013 10:20:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm sorry, but 90s Alternative Pandora is like the best music possible | Saturday, October 19, 2013 4:37:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| HANGRY | Friday, October 18, 2013 11:55:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why is there no motherfuckin food anywhere near this plave | Friday, October 18, 2013 11:52:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Iight dude. stop bending your fingers in possessed assed ways. we know you're straight out of the exorcist | Friday, October 18, 2013 11:05:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There's only one solution for this malocchio. Guys gotta disappear | Friday, October 18, 2013 10:24:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| And the cops are here again | Friday, October 18, 2013 9:54:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp. They're gonna sing Pony at karaoke. This is a song you're supposed to like, fuck to or something | Friday, October 18, 2013 9:52:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Never have I ever taken a shit on a Metro North train (and I shit a lot) | Thursday, October 17, 2013 11:05:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wait. shit this isn't funny. He's really pissed at me | Thursday, October 17, 2013 9:25:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| me: "Oh fuck. I just got a server alert and I'm on call. I don't have my laptop. Eh its fine, no one will know. Kev: "JOE!!! I'M YOUR BOSS" | Thursday, October 17, 2013 9:15:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Shots!!! ON MY GAP CARD. Because its colorful" @MalJNew | Thursday, October 17, 2013 9:05:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @GadsdenMarc Cuncel 'Murica In reply to @GadsdenMarc's tweet | Wednesday, October 16, 2013 11:36:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "UGH. look at all those moles" "Yeah. She didn't age well" | Wednesday, October 16, 2013 11:33:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just went hysterical laughing in the middle of a meeting because I was reading @KFCBarstool ripping Francesa #NumbahOne | Wednesday, October 16, 2013 5:07:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Absolute disgrace, Verizon 4G. Hardly ever works. F- | Wednesday, October 16, 2013 8:14:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Guy on my train has an amazing moustache | Tuesday, October 15, 2013 7:32:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus fucking Christ. This food guy cannot be slower. Go down south bro. This is NEW YORK. | Tuesday, October 15, 2013 11:04:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Didn't eat breakfast, gotta take a wicked pissah and I'm in back to back meetings. Fuck off, all of youse | Tuesday, October 15, 2013 10:42:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Laura Bush killed a guy | Monday, October 14, 2013 9:02:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Comicon chicks must be the kinkiest. Like DTF to the max | Sunday, October 13, 2013 4:18:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What's the over/under Gaurav shit his pants at work? | Sunday, October 13, 2013 2:38:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think I accidentally got drunk | Sunday, October 13, 2013 2:24:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I poop a lot | Sunday, October 13, 2013 11:03:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I 100% guarantee you we cannot lose Derick. He's 100% fucking filling us like a lapdog | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 11:55:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Lennon take it off Lennon | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 11:21:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| OMG Ja Rule and Ashanti What's Luv karaoke? Takes me back to my 7th grade days with my R&B bus driver blasting Hot 97 an KISS FM | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 10:02:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 2 mins after I tweeted that they took off. You think I'm stupid? I know they read this shit son | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 8:59:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bros.. At least be under cover. I see you. | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 8:56:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I swear to God.... Someone needs to pull this NYPD detail off me. Third night in a row I was out being tailed. http://t.co/90Ws3ELkZc | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 8:55:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If I get drunk enough, I'm gonna karaoke Stacy's mom and replace the lyrics with Alina's mom | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 7:58:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Alina's here. Is it rude if I ask her to invite her mom? | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 7:42:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Donde esta el barkeep? | Wednesday, October 09, 2013 7:28:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Candy Crush Rehab, LLC. @MalJNew | Monday, October 07, 2013 10:53:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think the NYPD has me tailed. I am seeing police everywhere I go and someone just took my picture | Monday, October 07, 2013 9:00:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How the fuck are you supposed to get shit done when you're on meetings 90% of the day talking about stupid bullshit | Monday, October 07, 2013 4:48:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If the system does not crash once this week, I'll grow a neck beard, wear jorts and a rock a beater on Monday. Confident I won't have to. | Monday, October 07, 2013 2:09:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My aunt: "She looks like an old hooker" | Sunday, October 06, 2013 7:48:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Let me tickle your flapjacks" -@MalJNew | Sunday, October 06, 2013 2:46:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Alina's mom isn't a milf. She's a certified milf. | Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:29:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is that out of suspicion, or knowledge? | Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:18:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Alina's mom has got it going on | Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:15:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Alina's mom is a smokeshow | Saturday, October 05, 2013 9:35:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hmmm. Pretty sober. Wonder where my credit card is. Haven't used it in days and it's MIA | Saturday, October 05, 2013 2:09:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I wish there was a jerking off emoji so I can tweet it at the CTO and tell him I'm at the bar while on call. | Saturday, October 05, 2013 12:14:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I am soley responsible for getting jeans to the bar. Suck it @lennon | Friday, October 04, 2013 11:55:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Couldn't be happier | Friday, October 04, 2013 11:53:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| We want jeans | Friday, October 04, 2013 11:01:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| House tequila can suck my dick | Friday, October 04, 2013 10:01:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| OMG. Old school SpaBooker. It doesn't get any better than this. Velba, @maljnew, Sam, Velba, @Lennon, Dwai, Elise #suitssuck #bookersucks | Friday, October 04, 2013 9:26:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What's the over/under this rat motherfucker is wearing a wire? I'd say 75% chance | Friday, October 04, 2013 8:21:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm such a fuckin alcoholic. Coupla beers at lunch within 15 mins didn't do a god damn thing | Friday, October 04, 2013 2:53:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "If the money doesn't show, this conversation didn't happen. And it won't ever happen again" | Thursday, October 03, 2013 11:52:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| When the fuck is it going to cool down? At this rate, were going to have a fuckin hurricane again | Thursday, October 03, 2013 7:36:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Someone's gf, regarding her bf of over a year: "Yeah he might be gay, but he has such a big dick" | Wednesday, October 02, 2013 8:21:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I'd like to get back to my weight back when I had hepatitis" | Wednesday, October 02, 2013 8:04:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yep. Day I have a sensitive stomach, my train has a flat tire on a washboard track | Tuesday, October 01, 2013 8:08:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh God I need to make it through this train ride without yacking | Tuesday, October 01, 2013 8:06:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean... If the US government shut down, why do I have to work? | Tuesday, October 01, 2013 7:58:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Google voice sucks the d at transcribing messages http://t.co/b3U19WtkHZ | Monday, September 30, 2013 11:13:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If money smells bad then this n** biggie stinkin | Monday, September 30, 2013 11:10:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| DLK would be spinning in his empty office at the direction this company is going in | Monday, September 30, 2013 11:07:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm 90% sure this fancy looking Asian businessman smells like weed and has an eighth on him. 90% sure... | Monday, September 30, 2013 11:05:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Beastie Boys are on at the bar... I'm taking a shot for DLK | Monday, September 30, 2013 9:59:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I hope I'm not on on call right now... #booker may be experiencing issues. But I'm with bud light and picklebacks, son | Monday, September 30, 2013 9:00:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: If the Government shuts down, I'm shutting down too. No fucking way people should have to work if the government isn't. Am… | Monday, September 30, 2013 5:35:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My clothes need the most febreeze.......... | Sunday, September 29, 2013 2:30:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm boombastic | Saturday, September 28, 2013 5:58:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My bau made a delicious beef and noodles!!! Omnomnom! | Saturday, September 28, 2013 3:16:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel da script! http://t.co/ZT23XHYwNJ | Thursday, September 26, 2013 1:15:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yankees suck a mean dick | Wednesday, September 25, 2013 9:31:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This company makes me want to shake a bitch #booker | Tuesday, September 24, 2013 12:26:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: no falling asleep on release calls. @XtinaSchelin will record you and post on reddit | Tuesday, September 24, 2013 5:42:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy fall! Best time of the year!🍁🍃🍂🌿 | Sunday, September 22, 2013 10:48:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel da rummy game. Mover just clipped me -70 points. Guys winning by 150 | Sunday, September 22, 2013 7:50:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "He's got some pair of flappers, that Posada" -My Grandpa, on Posada's ears | Sunday, September 22, 2013 5:40:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cleveland and Tampa Bay winning. If the Yanks lose, they'll be 4 GB in the wild card, so they're finished. Cuncel NY sports for 2013 | Sunday, September 22, 2013 4:31:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This is a BULLSHIT day in NY sports. Giants choking on donkey dick and if the Yankees can't score with runners at 2nd and 3rd so CUNCEL NY | Sunday, September 22, 2013 4:30:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Watching the Rivera ceremony on my DVR. I miss all the old guys from the late 90s and early 2000s. | Sunday, September 22, 2013 3:09:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This country can suck my dick http://t.co/VfAqYUhxcr | Saturday, September 21, 2013 10:42:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 I was on a rush hour 4 to 125th st and almost had a nervous breakdown. I could bike faster In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Friday, September 20, 2013 7:03:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "What'd I name the Chinese place in my phone? ... Oh yeah! Amanda Baker" - @MalJNew | Thursday, September 19, 2013 9:48:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I'm gonna bring us some Hpnotiq and Goldschläger" | Thursday, September 19, 2013 9:10:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "This is like a Jew fro moustache" | Thursday, September 19, 2013 8:52:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My favorite tool is a needle nose pliers pliers. Legit can do anything with it. What's yours (besides my dick)? | Thursday, September 19, 2013 8:04:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Larry's a good time. A riot | Wednesday, September 18, 2013 11:02:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Its like a switch flipped. Once it hits labor day, the amount if motherfuckers on this train doubles. | Wednesday, September 18, 2013 8:02:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo Eastchester.... Cut out this siren shit at 2am.... If not like anyone's on the road... | Wednesday, September 18, 2013 2:01:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fox 5 news at 10 keeps ripping on China so hard, it's getting hysterical | Monday, September 16, 2013 10:21:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm a crazy assed bitch. | Monday, September 16, 2013 7:56:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Riding the L train bus... | Saturday, September 14, 2013 6:48:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jarell llllllll | Friday, September 13, 2013 10:47:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Joe Stein is the legit awesome | Friday, September 13, 2013 9:51:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Joe Stein is a fuckin nutjob and the bomb. Com | Friday, September 13, 2013 9:12:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Come on Vinny.. We're gonna Eiffel tower Elise" -me | Friday, September 13, 2013 8:22:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yep. $100 on vodka red bulls. What are yes gonna do | Friday, September 13, 2013 8:14:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin autocorrect | Friday, September 13, 2013 8:09:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Come on. It's the docking iron horse. Anything goes here. Don't give me shit for pissing in the girls room | Friday, September 13, 2013 7:43:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This place is gonna be a problem #IronHorseNYC | Friday, September 13, 2013 7:42:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Where's Antonia? I need her grinding my dick stat | Friday, September 13, 2013 7:11:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What's the over/under I get hepatitis at the Iron Horse tonight? | Friday, September 13, 2013 2:41:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| She's a creature of the dark. Better than the light. She should meet people in the dark | Friday, September 13, 2013 1:21:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My legs are like fuck you man, I'm the most relaxed | Friday, September 13, 2013 1:10:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @KeriAHarrison he's gonna suck balls tonight. In reply to @KeriAHarrison's tweet | Thursday, September 12, 2013 3:26:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel da Jeter | Wednesday, September 11, 2013 5:09:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: Its supposed to be 93 degrees tomorrow. Fuck that shit. I'm done with summer weather. Mother nature you fickle slut | Tuesday, September 10, 2013 8:31:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yoooooooo | Tuesday, September 10, 2013 8:29:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "It feels like we're in Boardwalk Empire right now." | Tuesday, September 10, 2013 6:56:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Joke's on you man... I'm getting you an ez-wider denim cap" -@MalJNew | Tuesday, September 10, 2013 2:00:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| WHERE'S MY BAU? | Monday, September 09, 2013 10:48:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Smells like jello in this bathroom. Also looks like the chamber of secrets. Thought I tweeted this before, but guess I didnt | Monday, September 09, 2013 10:45:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Azarenka you dirty minx! I see you struttin dat ass, waiting for a serve. If barstool doesn't post a gif of it, I give up! | Sunday, September 08, 2013 5:13:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This Azarenka chick playing Serena at the U.S Open sounds like she's fucking every time she his the ball. Probably a savage in bed | Sunday, September 08, 2013 5:02:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Listening to Nirvana Unplugged. Fantastic album, taking a great walk. Lovin life | Saturday, September 07, 2013 11:47:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Gurrrrrllll. It's a crime to wear white pants after Labor Day. Derrr common sense. It's just not acceptable | Saturday, September 07, 2013 1:14:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Unlike #booker, my web app has 3 9s of reliability, and that's without any failover or redundancy. Booker? 97% uptime http://t.co/cpMsBI18tL | Saturday, September 07, 2013 12:14:45 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Said he had beef. Asked me if I had piece. Sure do. Two 22s in my shoes | Friday, September 06, 2013 11:36:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hugs for the honeys. Pounds for the roughnecks.... | Friday, September 06, 2013 11:35:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Tkray deserves no less than to croak of hepatitis | Friday, September 06, 2013 11:21:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Fantasy_Mania I know y'all bastards are all about football now, but make Lessard's out of office auto-reply stop spamming the wasabi league | Friday, September 06, 2013 11:19:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yanks coulda come back for the wildcard but if they're gonna lose bullshit games to the Sox, I'm gonna re-cuncel DA saeson | Friday, September 06, 2013 11:05:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I hope TKray dies in a bus fire | Friday, September 06, 2013 9:27:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I might cunt punt TK | Friday, September 06, 2013 9:04:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp. Accidentally just screamed DANGER at the top of my lungs at a bouncer... Oops | Friday, September 06, 2013 7:35:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: Eat 2 dicks “@KFCBarstool: NOTHING better than a Mariano blown save” | Friday, September 06, 2013 2:42:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Edgar: "I need more white friends" #ShitNoOneSays | Friday, September 06, 2013 2:41:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Time Waner is the absolute worst. Can't even go one night without the brand new modem needing to be reset | Friday, September 06, 2013 8:16:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I love Jewish holidays on the grounds that my train is deserted | Thursday, September 05, 2013 8:42:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You go to clown school? You go to CLOWN SCHOOL??? I call your mutha!!! @Colithika | Thursday, September 05, 2013 12:22:56 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hands down best feature of the moto x is when you pull it out of your pocket and the screen turns on a d there's an unlock gestute | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 11:53:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Drinking sucks balls. I could totally replace it with.... Something else | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 11:40:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @KeriAHarrison the Yankees cuncelled your husband | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 11:38:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Might yack... Hhhh | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 11:37:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| To catch my train, I ran faster than when Carrabotta was whipping me in high school gym class to run the mile in less than 12 minutes | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 11:28:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lower Manhattan is so ethereal at night. Fuckin crowded touristy shithole during the day. Desolate by night | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 10:56:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lower Manhattan Burger King... My old phone never had signal here. This has perfect service. Fuckin enjoyyyyy | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 10:47:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Vinny: "I'm gonna punch this Mexican in the face for 2 reasons... 1 you're Mexican. 2 when I ask you for a shot, you bring me a fucking shot | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 10:11:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I do shots like a pussy these days | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 10:04:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If you're not watching this game rooting for Mo, you are NOT a Yankee fan | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 10:00:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BarstoolJJ FUCK don't put mothafuckin Hughes in In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 9:57:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mothafuckin Mariano golden fuckin Rivera. GOD | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 9:51:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Depending on how drunk I get tonight, I might un-Cuncel da Yankees | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 9:46:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Clune. Don't even try to bend your ass at me like that. This is dangerous | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 9:19:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Executive assistant just caught me talking to myself in the kitchen doing a Joba style fistpump saying "Robocopy is the tits!" #resigning | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 5:43:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This is the ugliest assed pigeon I've ever seen in my life. Bro, get your feathers together. You're horrid. http://t.co/TAwwSD62K1 | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 2:32:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Testing. Tweeting from a known poor service area. | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 8:07:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| False alarm. Its fine... Also, Verizon outage in my hood. Confirmed on 2 other phones | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 2:01:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You've gotta be fucking kidding me. This piece of shit Moto X doesn't have inline mic support on the headphone jack? No square, jawbone up. | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 1:54:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| For my first tweet on my new Moto X, I'd like to point out that I hate my fat fuckin double chin | Wednesday, September 04, 2013 1:41:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: Hannah McKay is so sexy I'd 100% risk her poisoning me to death just for a chance to hit it #Dexter | Tuesday, September 03, 2013 11:23:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking @VZWSupport. Whose dick do I have to suck to activate a phone? Their automated system refuses to activate this thing | Tuesday, September 03, 2013 8:21:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The elevators at 22 Cortlandt are slower than your mom | Tuesday, September 03, 2013 5:10:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo Twitter: @Colithika is my MANG | Monday, September 02, 2013 9:42:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: listen to Brent Ozar. @GetBooker | Monday, September 02, 2013 8:20:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: don't do the power hour with champagne. (1) You'll run out by like the 15th minute (2) The reflux is the worst | Monday, September 02, 2013 8:20:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The money and alcohol the life of a west side playa | Monday, September 02, 2013 7:58:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hold the phone... This new software may have fixed these ass radios in my phone. Just tweeted from Crestwood where there's always no service | Monday, September 02, 2013 1:19:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't think its remotely possible to get dealt a worse off hand in candy crush. Didn't clear one jelly the whole time | Monday, September 02, 2013 1:18:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ain't nothing better than having to do 8am server maintenance on Labor Day... #cuncelmyfreedom | Monday, September 02, 2013 1:08:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Absolutely crippled. I pulled every possible upper body muscle doing some pole acrobatics on the R train Friday night... I'm batshit crazy | Monday, September 02, 2013 12:20:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| If this dumbass country goes to war with Syria, I'm gonna cuncel America. | Sunday, September 01, 2013 10:49:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Second week in a row I fucked up the Sunday Sudoku in the Daily News. Dumbass bitch... So mad at myself. | Sunday, September 01, 2013 8:36:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm called a Bau! I'm not about to blow it now for all the Baus | Saturday, August 31, 2013 9:00:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I bet @SonicBlur23 goes on chickenpubes .com on a regular basis. | Saturday, August 31, 2013 6:51:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Where does one purchase ground bison meat? | Saturday, August 31, 2013 6:35:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Chillllllin this fine Saturday. Brahs | Saturday, August 31, 2013 2:45:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just got called in to do an emergency release at work because our devs can't use dates. September 31 crashed our app guys | Saturday, August 31, 2013 2:33:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mad question askin, blunt passin... | Friday, August 30, 2013 8:50:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| C notes by the layers, true fuckin players | Friday, August 30, 2013 8:48:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My superiors need to stop giving me titty twisters at the bar, especially when I'm on call. | Friday, August 30, 2013 8:46:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Gave up on the cheeseburger idea for a falafel cart. Then gave up on that and got papa johns instead. Hhhhb | Thursday, August 29, 2013 11:09:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #positivetweets | Wednesday, August 28, 2013 10:06:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The a/c in this train is phenominal | Wednesday, August 28, 2013 10:06:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Upgraded my gnex to 4.3. Works grand | Wednesday, August 28, 2013 9:59:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin Windows 98 was more stable than our system | Tuesday, August 27, 2013 8:03:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @GadsdenMarc: When we attack Syria because of WMDs and we find out there are no WMDs in Syria, do we get to incessantly call for Obama's… | Tuesday, August 27, 2013 11:01:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My old assed galaxy nexus can eat a dick next week. Moto X here I come. We hope the internet works better on it. This one sucked since day 1 | Monday, August 26, 2013 6:26:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: Chris Christie's FUPA - Stronger Than The Storm | Sunday, August 25, 2013 5:35:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: How much money do you think Chris Christie would have to pay a woman to go down on him? 1 billion? 2? Infinity? | Sunday, August 25, 2013 5:33:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Saukerlina | Sunday, August 25, 2013 3:16:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yes. I was at one of Microsoft's facilities the day Steve Ballmer decided to pack it in. #noonecares #uselesstweet | Sunday, August 25, 2013 1:10:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Mal and I may fight over the drummer | Saturday, August 24, 2013 8:28:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This guy playing guitar at Quincy Market is 100% @JFeitelberg from barstool. 100% | Saturday, August 24, 2013 8:27:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cheers to @MalJNew selling @getbooker at the bar | Saturday, August 24, 2013 8:20:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wtf is this magical orange jellybean acid trip tree? http://t.co/f7MkWNuaQq | Saturday, August 24, 2013 1:50:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I legit haven't tweeted much in a while soooo now I'm doing it. | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:43:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm the cockiest. Get it? | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:43:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Anyone remember that system song about how my cock is much bigger than yours? Well, it is. | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:39:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| We don't need no charlie card we taking cabs home taking taking cabs home (or hitchin a ride with max) | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:37:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lurking timid Englishman | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:36:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lacking twat emphasis | Saturday, August 24, 2013 12:35:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lumpy tumor emergency | Friday, August 23, 2013 11:32:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
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