9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Limited Titty Embrace? Lithium tits exposed? | Friday, August 23, 2013 11:30:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Verizon 4G LTE. What does that stand for? Left Testicle exposed? Lick the elbow? | Friday, August 23, 2013 11:27:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Annnnnnd I ended up in the hood in Boston | Friday, August 23, 2013 11:01:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wow the LIRR is a piece of shit. How are there no seats at 10:40 Am off peak? | Friday, August 23, 2013 10:39:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm the gayest for steel drums | Thursday, August 22, 2013 8:22:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Whoever's got the herbs up in this bitch. Sheeeeeit | Thursday, August 22, 2013 7:11:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cheeseburger in paradise bitches | Thursday, August 22, 2013 6:08:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| ¿En los jorts? | Thursday, August 22, 2013 5:06:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get a load of this old stud mackin it on the grannies http://t.co/M6xnhpZRWw | Thursday, August 22, 2013 4:57:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My reaction to motherfuckers who disagree with how I run the build system http://t.co/Tq018XWyK0 | Thursday, August 22, 2013 2:21:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is it fall yet? | Wednesday, August 21, 2013 7:22:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Spoiler alert: 95% of this week's Dexter was sexual tension and him banging Hannah. 5% were actual plot events | Tuesday, August 20, 2013 11:53:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| She was an american girl. | Saturday, August 17, 2013 6:15:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sorry. I couldn't see anything over how shiny Aurigemma's wife's engagement ring is. | Saturday, August 17, 2013 5:45:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why don't you tweet "don't tell me when to take lunch you're an asshole" Eric | Saturday, August 17, 2013 5:01:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| System crashed this weekend. No one on duty. I'm fired | Saturday, August 17, 2013 4:36:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These farting motherfuckers left without saying bye? What a bunch of assholes. | Saturday, August 17, 2013 4:20:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I'm a little short on cash this week so if you don't want me to open my mouth, you better be taking me to a a steak dinner" | Saturday, August 17, 2013 4:02:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm am SO doing Creed karaoke later.... 🎵🎵SHOULDVE BEEN DEAD ON A SUNDAY MORNING🎵🎵 | Saturday, August 17, 2013 3:11:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Props to the 1993 Chevy Lumina van rockin the club on the steering wheel. You know that's the hot ride to steal these days. | Saturday, August 17, 2013 12:36:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| LudaChristmas | Thursday, August 15, 2013 9:47:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| BSB I want it that way music video on at the bar. Reminds me if me and @SonicBlur23 in the car | Thursday, August 15, 2013 9:19:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm a linebacker! | Tuesday, August 13, 2013 8:26:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| A chick biting her lip is like "hey we need to fuck right now" right? | Saturday, August 10, 2013 7:16:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Presidente | Saturday, August 10, 2013 6:39:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mal is all ratchet | Saturday, August 10, 2013 3:55:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mr. Boombastic | Saturday, August 10, 2013 3:41:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted | Saturday, August 10, 2013 3:33:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bau cured my hiccups | Saturday, August 10, 2013 3:10:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @XtinaSchelin happy birffday xtina, my favorite script kiddie!!! #python #.net In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet | Saturday, August 10, 2013 2:19:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mal's so smart looking in glasses. I'd bang her. | Saturday, August 10, 2013 2:16:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Girl u look good when you back that app up | Saturday, August 10, 2013 2:15:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lotta cookies here | Saturday, August 10, 2013 1:26:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| pregaming shit is the worst. Almost peed myself you guys | Saturday, August 10, 2013 1:17:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RHYTHM IS A DANCERR | Saturday, August 10, 2013 12:14:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 90s techno and champagne. LA Bouche, Amber, Mr.President, Quad City DJs,Technotronic... I'm the straightest... | Saturday, August 10, 2013 12:03:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bartender at Dakota has the most sand in her vajay. | Friday, August 09, 2013 9:30:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| STP on at the bar. I'm fucking pumped #arodsucks | Friday, August 09, 2013 8:47:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| At the bar. Yankee game on. Wish I could get audio on the ARod Bronx cheer | Friday, August 09, 2013 8:12:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My boss has a cock on his shirt. Thanks Alex for pointing this out. | Friday, August 09, 2013 7:24:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I cuncelled them on April 1st RT @KFCBarstool Oh and I forgot, Cuncel Da Yankees In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet | Thursday, August 08, 2013 1:14:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Entennmann's cake. Made with REAL walnuts. As opposed to fake ones... http://t.co/TMfqSLc0Dv | Thursday, August 08, 2013 12:48:56 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The Yankees suck a mean dick. I mean, if you go 1-16 with RISP and led twice in the bottom 9th and x-inning on the rd, you deserve to lose | Thursday, August 08, 2013 12:15:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The story of my life with this piece of shit phone: no internet http://t.co/KNo53qIHf1 | Wednesday, August 07, 2013 7:05:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Whoever dropped a deuce in this office shitter stuck out not only the whole bathroom, but the whole corridor leading up to the bathroom | Tuesday, August 06, 2013 6:14:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our database makes me want to shake a bitch | Monday, August 05, 2013 5:28:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Woman. There is no reason for your stroller and five kids to take up the whole subway platform. have fewer kids. | Monday, August 05, 2013 9:06:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Hated that dude since day 1. @keith_connors what does deuce think now son | Saturday, August 03, 2013 6:32:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck arod | Saturday, August 03, 2013 6:31:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm coming worse than Arod and I don't even do steroids | Saturday, August 03, 2013 6:31:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I would do a nakey dance on top of Radio City if the Yankees could get out of ARod's contract | Saturday, August 03, 2013 5:46:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm sucking the fattest dick in darts. The mover would be disappointed in me. #worsethanarodintheplayoffs | Saturday, August 03, 2013 5:39:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 Yankees suck a huge D this season and I hope the have Arod killed off | Saturday, August 03, 2013 5:27:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 what is this patience you speak of? I have none, especially if you ride the subway every day | Saturday, August 03, 2013 5:17:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 how do you not want to jump off a bridge rooting for that team? | Saturday, August 03, 2013 4:48:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These chicks this waiter may or may not have tapped are hideous. Legit I'd rather have Mokey get with him. | Saturday, August 03, 2013 4:35:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our waiter is 100% banging sluts in the bathroom. | Saturday, August 03, 2013 4:21:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My Bau has the prettiest blue eyes | Saturday, August 03, 2013 4:11:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mokey went blanco | Saturday, August 03, 2013 3:22:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mango... I say Mongo | Thursday, August 01, 2013 10:01:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'd like to know why the work shitter is always jammed. Can't even take a peaceful crap... | Thursday, August 01, 2013 5:38:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy Moto X announcement/(release?) day! | Thursday, August 01, 2013 7:44:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dear tweeps, sorry I was a cray cray on here earlier. I'm chill now. Ya heard? -jor | Wednesday, July 31, 2013 11:53:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #meltdownlikebynes | Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:35:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I want to take a baseball bat and destroy shit Big Papi style | Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:35:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| And I'm late. And my phone doesn't type properly or get internet because its a piece of shit. Job took 25 years off my life. | Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:34:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My fucking scheduled job didn't run last night. This would be the 12th time something fucked up I'm responsible for #fired #failure #useless | Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:33:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh I can see were off to a goo start this fucking morning. #fuckallofyoucunts | Wednesday, July 31, 2013 8:30:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I keep forgetting to watch Ray Donovan. | Wednesday, July 31, 2013 3:14:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You're officially a douche if you spell Tom "Thom" and Jeff "Geoff" | Monday, July 29, 2013 6:48:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 6 trains are actually pulling into the stations faster than this slow assed 4 I'm on. #nevergettingtowork | Monday, July 29, 2013 9:10:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: Cuncel da career for Alex Rodriguez. | Sunday, July 28, 2013 9:42:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lisa: its like a strap on thing you can pee with | Sunday, July 28, 2013 12:46:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| 2013 Yankees are cuncelled | Sunday, July 28, 2013 12:07:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Danny: "Oh! I could win in a projectile vomit contest" | Saturday, July 27, 2013 11:56:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Its 10 am. I'm wasted. Don't think I'd be able to operate a vehicle. Fuckin Haas party | Saturday, July 27, 2013 10:08:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Would you believe me if I said sir. Come down and put the charge on me. I wouldn't do that. | Saturday, July 27, 2013 2:46:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| If I don't put @MalJNew on a leash she might uh... Let's be honest... And I'll allow it. | Saturday, July 27, 2013 1:30:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Mal is obsessiled over Dominican girls' asses so I mean....Threesome? | Friday, July 26, 2013 11:48:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My Twitter is best Twitter | Friday, July 26, 2013 11:34:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just crossed off a coupla never have I evers at Hass' | Friday, July 26, 2013 11:24:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BadPointer is a bitch for not coming to Hass' going away party sooner | Friday, July 26, 2013 11:13:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo Neil Young is fuckin tight. | Friday, July 26, 2013 11:11:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Haas: "Shit. I got so drunk last night I African American'd out" | Friday, July 26, 2013 10:09:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just realized something. Sitting alone drinking in Dakota bar with 90s jams and candy crush ain't bad | Friday, July 26, 2013 7:37:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| But why does this piece of shit phone say I have full 3 G but not load webpages? POS | Friday, July 26, 2013 8:23:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I have nothing to say, so I figured I'd tweet about it | Friday, July 26, 2013 2:00:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Waspito feel better. That's the worst. You wake up and its fine, then it sucks. My Dr didn't give me any good shit either | Wednesday, July 24, 2013 8:44:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lower Manhattan is a fuckin shithole | Wednesday, July 24, 2013 3:32:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ran into a Bynes doppelganger. Head half shaved and all | Wednesday, July 24, 2013 3:28:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Carlos Danger for Mayor! | Tuesday, July 23, 2013 7:08:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This bed feels like it's deflating, and I'm not even on an air mattress. Heh??? | Monday, July 22, 2013 11:48:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Caption contest: "Sabato?" http://t.co/TsAm2MSNUL | Monday, July 22, 2013 11:32:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These work shitters are worse than grand central, traffic-wise. #everonegoaway | Monday, July 22, 2013 3:17:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'd bang a Moto X | Saturday, July 20, 2013 6:28:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| With buggy code on them that makes them crash. Winning | Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:47:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 15 minutes until I have to drunk monitor servers that handle millions of dollars of transactions per day. Pumped! | Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:46:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If I had a daughter, shed never be allowed to dress like @MalJNew | Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:43:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mal is hiding my money in her breasts and telling me to find it later #wasted | Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:43:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew the most tits | Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:28:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Drama queens http://t.co/ZHZCcSOeXy | Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:14:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm on call for the servers from 4-8. Who wants to party? | Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:11:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My belly is huge. I'm preggo with mimosas | Saturday, July 20, 2013 3:09:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Summer can eat my dick. Is it fall yet? | Saturday, July 20, 2013 2:58:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I could feed on those for hours. Giuseppe must abuse them" - @ja5la | Saturday, July 20, 2013 2:34:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bralic | Thursday, July 18, 2013 9:22:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @badpointer I'll fuckin tweet right now motherfucker | Thursday, July 18, 2013 9:18:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Kevin was dying about how I explained Lauren to him | Thursday, July 18, 2013 9:17:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You're not ruining my night you jealous assed motherfucker eat my dick | Thursday, July 18, 2013 8:51:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This devil mother fucker made me spill his beer on the pool table. Fuckin waste of $7 | Thursday, July 18, 2013 8:31:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My own prison is on. #creed. #hatethebandlovethesong | Thursday, July 18, 2013 8:12:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Freddy: "can I get a giant all beef hot dog?" | Thursday, July 18, 2013 7:24:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pitcher 2: The irony is that I'm brining this beer to the meeting I got thrown out of yesterday. | Thursday, July 18, 2013 5:13:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Direct order from my boss: "Go upstairs and get us a pitcher of beer for the meeting" | Thursday, July 18, 2013 4:37:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| To the dumb bitch who ran into a blind woman with a guide dog in Grand Central... I hope you get run over by a train. | Tuesday, July 16, 2013 7:57:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Natalia, shut the fuck up | Monday, July 15, 2013 2:01:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why the fuck am I sober? | Sunday, July 14, 2013 2:16:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| WHITE PLAINS LMAO | Saturday, July 13, 2013 11:58:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ja5la miss ya! | Saturday, July 13, 2013 12:27:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My head.... | Saturday, July 13, 2013 7:39:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Waspito bitch were getting hammered tomorrow | Saturday, July 13, 2013 12:10:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| With a little help from booker | Saturday, July 13, 2013 12:09:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| If someone is singing pearl jams Jeremy at the bar I'm legit happy | Friday, July 12, 2013 10:13:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 the cutest! | Friday, July 12, 2013 9:21:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It could be classified as a weapon but sticks shit together: gluegun | Friday, July 12, 2013 8:29:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck. Hope I didn't hit my 10k tweet yet | Friday, July 12, 2013 8:20:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Singing 90s techno with the Product Manager | Friday, July 12, 2013 8:19:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| http://drinkinggames.booker.com/taboo | Friday, July 12, 2013 8:13:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Lennon bitch beer is free at booker | Friday, July 12, 2013 7:48:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our intern is batshit and awesome. Love it. | Friday, July 12, 2013 7:47:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ Dave Robertson, you twitter slut. Unfollowing! | Thursday, July 11, 2013 5:26:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Necesita Bau | Wednesday, July 10, 2013 6:49:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @scoopANDslam YES. But maybe its not that obvious In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet | Tuesday, July 09, 2013 10:25:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Props to the Metro North conductor screaming "all aboard" out the door. I thought they only do that in movies | Tuesday, July 09, 2013 10:18:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Beyond abysmal #booker | Tuesday, July 09, 2013 10:14:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm sitting in a meeting talking about measuring performance of something without client requirements. #winning | Tuesday, July 09, 2013 2:52:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I have an unhealthy Dave Grohl obsession | Monday, July 08, 2013 10:46:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Watching the Foo Fighters documentary again. I need help. And Dave Grohl | Monday, July 08, 2013 10:18:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: I tweet so often about which days are "Top 5 worst days of the year for Cube Monkeys" that I've just realized basically ev… | Monday, July 08, 2013 4:18:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 5 tasks. 3.5 days. 2 people. #iquitnow | Monday, July 08, 2013 4:13:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| In the week I've been gone, they've turned my express train into a bunch of local bs. thank you, Bronx track work... | Monday, July 08, 2013 8:18:18 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Starting this bullshit again. #booker | Monday, July 08, 2013 8:02:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| How in the actual fuck are you supposed to beat level 17 on Candy Crush? Cannot get those cherries down. Ridiculous | Sunday, July 07, 2013 11:05:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is this Dave Robertson's side piece? He can do better than that. Genuine butterface http://t.co/n7miPcsLm5 | Sunday, July 07, 2013 6:13:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mission accomplished. Survived a night at the G, 2 games of Ashland kings and made it out without yacking. High five! | Friday, July 05, 2013 10:46:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This chimichanga is fuckin the ballin http://t.co/04DY2GZK8i | Friday, July 05, 2013 1:58:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I was born to run | Friday, July 05, 2013 1:01:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude. I just pissed out a fire. It was fuckin awesome. 'Murrrrrica | Thursday, July 04, 2013 11:54:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Jesus might be on Conan tonight you guys" -@MalJNew | Wednesday, July 03, 2013 11:28:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 this is the best tweet I've ever read in my life In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Wednesday, July 03, 2013 11:24:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @SonicBlur23 you're a dick In reply to @SonicBlur23's tweet | Wednesday, July 03, 2013 11:20:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Memphis fuck house? Kansas blue balls? | Wednesday, July 03, 2013 10:49:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: Do not scream "I love bush" in the car with your GFs mom. I meant the 90s band!!!!!! | Wednesday, July 03, 2013 9:20:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This chick on Hardcore Pawn is 100% in need of a cunt punt. Nothing more, nothing less | Wednesday, July 03, 2013 12:44:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Twitter poll: What is deadlier? Bridgeport, CT or a pawn shop in Detroit? | Wednesday, July 03, 2013 12:42:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Bob Loblaw lobs law bomb | Monday, July 01, 2013 12:37:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @mich_amore It's fine. I got a tick bite once. As long as it doesn't turn into a rash you'll be 100% fine In reply to @mich_amore's tweet | Monday, July 01, 2013 12:32:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "Its better to ask for forgiveness than permission" | Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:54:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "He's a man. and he has glasses. and he looks like me, but he's much shorter. But he has one kidney and I have two. You know him?" | Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:48:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Get him eating fruit salad on his knees" | Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:45:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Come on Mal. You didn't see Jesus on that ass? http://t.co/28WoW0CJD2 | Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:44:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Buddha: "Don't post anything about this fruit intake" | Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:41:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "The sight of an Indian fellow riding down the streets of Cleveland past Radio City Music Hall on a white stallion" @MalJNew is CRAY | Sunday, June 30, 2013 10:31:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bau. We're tweetin a fool right now | Saturday, June 29, 2013 2:29:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| ⚡⚡the struggle is real ⚡⚡ | Saturday, June 29, 2013 2:05:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @portfolioso nope. It didn't turn out well In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, June 28, 2013 7:44:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Looks like Bynes is up to no good again on Twitter | Friday, June 28, 2013 6:03:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp Santeria came on so its fine | Friday, June 28, 2013 6:02:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't actually appreesh that. Ya know.... But I'll let it slide | Friday, June 28, 2013 6:02:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ummmm. If ever Pearl Jams Alive comes on at the bar. I'm in heaven. #itjustdid #enjoyyy | Friday, June 28, 2013 5:57:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Vodka red bull pong ain't gonna turn out well #yolo | Friday, June 28, 2013 4:59:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Colithika niga I suck yo dick In reply to @Colithika's tweet | Friday, June 28, 2013 12:02:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Just got black girl "Gurlllfraaaand, talk to the hand" -ed | Thursday, June 27, 2013 10:15:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What I'd do for Joe Stein's hair... | Thursday, June 27, 2013 9:54:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Joe Stein showed up!!!!! Guys legit | Thursday, June 27, 2013 9:32:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just beat myself up because I forgot what the amygdala was in the brain. Bitch I got a 5 on AP psych. I should know this shit. | Thursday, June 27, 2013 9:29:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I invited gramps to to the bar @BadPointer http://t.co/eakphLnWzq | Thursday, June 27, 2013 7:45:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean, I was going to go to bed before 1, but after watching the season 5 Finale of Nurse Jackie, I rewatched the pilot. Damn that was good | Thursday, June 27, 2013 3:04:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: Between Hernandez, filibusters, the gays, and Arod, twitter may break today. If Nelson Mandela kicks the bucket, it will 1… | Wednesday, June 26, 2013 2:41:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Looking at all the news and bullshit going on as of late, why hasn't anyone realized this country fuckin sucks and you're not actually free? | Wednesday, June 26, 2013 8:10:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin @arod. Steinbrenner must be spinning in his grave. #waste #getthefuckoffmyteam | Wednesday, June 26, 2013 12:47:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Probably a 70% chance I have IBS. #justsayin | Wednesday, June 26, 2013 12:41:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. My man crush Dave Roberson has a Twitter? Fuckin a. #nextyearscloser @DRob30 | Tuesday, June 25, 2013 9:33:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm sleepy | Tuesday, June 25, 2013 8:47:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| A flat tire in the hood sounds excellent at 11:45. And I have work tomorrow. | Sunday, June 23, 2013 11:49:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Dave_Jets why In reply to @Dave_Jets's tweet | Sunday, June 23, 2013 3:24:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This bitch on the train is fuckin screaming | Sunday, June 23, 2013 3:18:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean..... I don't know what allergy is around, but my eyes are so red. Looks like I smoked a pound of weed you guys | Saturday, June 22, 2013 7:58:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ CC | Saturday, June 22, 2013 3:07:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Sangria power hour sounds better that a classy lobster dinner" -@MalJNew yep... This is the girl I picked.... | Saturday, June 22, 2013 1:30:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Love how I go to the beach and wear 15 and not reapply and be fine. @MalJNew put on 70 and is a lobster #thefairest vs #Sicilian #yeahbuddy | Saturday, June 22, 2013 1:29:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pat: "I need 6 beers pronto" | Friday, June 21, 2013 2:34:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Aniusha's ass is poppin. #DEMWHITEPANTS #DOMINICAN #DATASS STRUTTIN | Friday, June 21, 2013 2:12:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The internet on this phone can legitimately go fuck itself. Where's the fuckin HTC One on Verizon? | Thursday, June 20, 2013 11:00:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BadPointer you stepped on xlib In reply to @BadPointer's tweet | Thursday, June 20, 2013 9:51:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol. The Yankees are bad | Thursday, June 20, 2013 9:46:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm watchin Winnie the pooh. Someone give Eeyore a joint or some shit. Jesus | Thursday, June 20, 2013 1:43:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| 🚭⚠👙☺⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡ | Thursday, June 20, 2013 1:32:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 tell him to eat a bag of dicks In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Thursday, June 20, 2013 1:12:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol that looks cool | Thursday, June 20, 2013 12:48:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| ⚡⚡⚡⚡☀🌛🐾☺🎶👍⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡ | Thursday, June 20, 2013 12:47:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Gotta get up at 5 am to tend to our piece of shit software. Told the hr lady who's getting fires next week I came in fucked up. Lol | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 11:56:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: don't let Lennon and Antonia bite both ur nips at the same time. But its hot | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 10:16:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew I said are you gonna be my girl | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:38:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm doing fireballs in honor of James Gandolfini. #TonySoprano #KillerKane | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:30:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Holy shit. My IT dude is the most amazing person ever. #staystrong my dude. You are so amazing and humble and people don't even realize it | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:29:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: RIP Tony Soprano. | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:11:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get the fuck out of here. James Gandolfini had a heart attack and died? Fuckin A. RIP dude. | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 9:01:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Natalia: "What is sandy vagina" Me: "Kelly" Natalia: "Ahhhhh I get it now" | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 8:35:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Uhhhhhp. Pooped a little | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 7:58:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, I just grabbed Antonia's ass and request a lap dance. | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 7:53:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ghost stories with Hughlon | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 7:52:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Eatadick dot com slash booker | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 5:57:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Too many dudes in this office. Fuckin shitter is full. | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 5:52:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MarkAbsher I know you only deal with social media, but why is Verizon 3G/4G absolutely useless in Lower Manhattan? | Wednesday, June 19, 2013 2:44:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm cunceling this game right now | Sunday, June 16, 2013 6:35:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 6-0 in the bottom of the 9th and now its 6-5. This is some mets ass shit right now. Cuncel da game | Sunday, June 16, 2013 6:33:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ. Yankess play like gems for 8 innings and now they suck ass | Sunday, June 16, 2013 6:31:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude called me over to look at a fuckin TV and I thought the cops were at our door. Jesus | Saturday, June 15, 2013 9:42:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Bitch get me a 30. @SonicBlur23 | Friday, June 14, 2013 4:22:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| See this is exactly the reason I don't drink out of hotel cups. John: "let's see if we can fit our dick and balls in this cup" | Friday, June 14, 2013 10:45:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "Dude. You need to wash your hands after eating because I just found marinara sauce in my pussy" Actual quote. Murrrrica. | Friday, June 14, 2013 1:44:30 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It don't cause no death, no disease. | Friday, June 14, 2013 12:53:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Tips for giving a good hand job: use your mouth. | Thursday, June 13, 2013 11:30:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is this a pork beef stick? Man, I love beef sticks | Thursday, June 13, 2013 5:08:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is thisbanpirk beef stock? Man, I love beef sticks | Thursday, June 13, 2013 5:05:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Vacation starts now bitches | Wednesday, June 12, 2013 7:54:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mystery! Spread its cloak across the sky. | Wednesday, June 12, 2013 7:57:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Xtina: "I will inject poison into your brain and suck it out your nose" | Tuesday, June 11, 2013 8:19:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, these stumble in property balls are like feathers. Lemmie get a real one | Tuesday, June 11, 2013 7:27:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Raul's playing the shittiest ass rules in beer pong. Obscure. He BLEW. What kind of guys blow. Guys finger son | Tuesday, June 11, 2013 7:27:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Legit needed to put ear plugs in to prevent myself from punching this dumb phone assed noisy bitch in the face | Monday, June 10, 2013 7:34:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bunch of jokers on this train. Guy with jacket, tie and hardhat. Girl with flip phone making obnoxious key presses/sounds | Monday, June 10, 2013 7:21:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If deeez fools dont get at leas a 90 this machines bullshit | Sunday, June 09, 2013 6:25:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I really need to learn to take criticism better | Sunday, June 09, 2013 6:09:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Maybe I really did suck. Because these other peeps were good and got a 75 | Sunday, June 09, 2013 6:06:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin.... I got 100% on Alice in chains. Its not that I can't sing. Fuck off | Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:15:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Um. Eat my dick karaoke machine. I was fuckin 100x better than 52% asswipe | Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:11:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Balls | Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:09:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Marks Karaoke may or may not have made me cry | Sunday, June 09, 2013 5:00:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna karaoke sublime and if I dong get above a 94 IMA cry | Sunday, June 09, 2013 4:52:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I can play the guitar like a mother fuckin riot | Sunday, June 09, 2013 4:07:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Threesome central station | Sunday, June 09, 2013 2:41:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hot http://t.co/jXDsXqvzaq | Sunday, June 09, 2013 1:49:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think I just drunk texted my gfs mom | Sunday, June 09, 2013 1:18:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Tom Petty is my jam. #sundayfunday | Sunday, June 09, 2013 1:06:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just whacked myself in the dick with a belt | Sunday, June 09, 2013 1:04:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Don't fuck with my people. I'll come after you | Saturday, June 08, 2013 8:39:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean. When Lightning Crashes comes on at the bar, I'm getting hammered. @tomwcleary | Saturday, June 08, 2013 8:29:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: Meet the Mets, Meet the Mets, step right up and waste 8 hours of your day losing to the worst team imaginable. | Saturday, June 08, 2013 7:51:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
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