9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Climate and weather are two different things you jagoff ignoramus https://t.co/Y1jDVxfa4I Wednesday, January 30, 2019 11:09:46 PMTwitter for Android
Get your kids vaccinated, you stupid fucks. What if your dumbass antivaxxer ways killed a sick, innocent cancer patient with no immune system?

Washington is under a state of emergency as measles cases rise @CNN https://t.co/o1MgH8qUOm
Saturday, January 26, 2019 10:58:21 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @AjitPaiFCC: you're a goddamn asshole

Sorry, Ajit: Comcast lowered cable investment despite net neutrality repeal https://t.co/dap1ha1NYH
Saturday, January 26, 2019 10:35:59 PMTwitter for Android
I hope the fucks doing this electrocute themselves https://t.co/wFAdlF15Y9 via @Teslarati Saturday, January 26, 2019 7:21:38 PMTwitter for Android
Doesn't even have a security stripe in it. Everyone is going to think I'm passing around bad bills. And what if it is fake. Do I just lose $100?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, January 25, 2019 7:19:48 PMTwitter for Android
@BankofAmerica one of your ATMs gave me a $100 bill from 1977. You have some nerve putting these in there. Pull them out of circulation. Everyone thinks they're fake. I couldn't even deposit it back because it thought it was fake. Friday, January 25, 2019 7:18:11 PMTwitter for Android
Get this old white asshole out of my state

https://t.co/WYUpxnWnjf
Wednesday, January 23, 2019 8:27:14 PMTwitter for Android
The moon was great tonight Monday, January 21, 2019 2:51:39 AMTwitter for Android
Peple have had enough with that shithole. Only problem is, ya can't get a decent slice of pizza elsewhere

https://t.co/dddsCAeqdc
Saturday, January 19, 2019 3:26:01 PMTwitter for Android
By all means, get this fuckin guy off the Yankees https://t.co/b3mflrdWqq Saturday, January 19, 2019 1:37:50 PMTwitter for Android
Now I know why old people can't be bothered with this shit
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, January 17, 2019 1:50:47 AMTwitter for Android
I spent an ungodly am amount of money on fuckin LED Christmas lights and now that I'm putting them away, half the sets half light up. Fucking pieces of shit Thursday, January 17, 2019 1:45:42 AMTwitter for Android
@AjitPaiFCC YOU ARE NOT DOING YOUR JOB, SIR. THE FCC IS NOT SHUT DOWN. YOU ARE A MISERABLE FAILURE CORPORATE SHILL https://t.co/HUpNpNWjRp Tuesday, January 15, 2019 9:55:18 PMTwitter for Android
@BrendanCarrFCC Dude tries to destroy the internet and expects to get honored?! Get lost
In reply to @BrendanCarrFCC's tweet
Tuesday, January 08, 2019 3:11:57 PMTwitter for Android
I never heard of a Peloton before but all of a sudden it's all the rage. I think it's dumb af. So you have to pay like $2000 for a bike AND a monthly fee? Thursday, January 03, 2019 10:18:52 PMTwitter for Android
What a fuckin jagoff @AjitPaiFCC https://t.co/BXlf52LwiC Wednesday, January 02, 2019 5:30:01 PMTwitter for Android
I'm the fuckin worst at beer pong. Legit hit 2 cups all 2019. Well. I have 17 years to practice before been okays. Gotta be a cool pops Tuesday, January 01, 2019 3:18:31 AMTwitter for Android
I've walked "not a number" miles today! @internetofshit https://t.co/TO7jclm4mF Monday, December 31, 2018 10:09:13 PMTwitter for Android
Bunch of fucking morons over at the @epa. The EPA is in favor of giving people cancer. #eatadick https://t.co/IXiZxcMO1e Saturday, December 29, 2018 11:20:50 PMTwitter for Android
Shame on @WebMD's dumpster fire website. They must detect if you have an adblocker and continually aggressively try to load ads. Ublock stopped 700 of them on one page in 2 minutes and they keep trying to load more! Froze my entire browser Thursday, December 27, 2018 8:44:18 PMTwitter for Android
The new @googlechrome UI looks like hideous asshole, and they removed the flag to use the old UI. Thursday, December 27, 2018 5:31:11 PMTwitter for Android
Google AI is whack. What part of wishing each other Merry Christmas warrants a happy birthday reply? Frosty? https://t.co/80WH3u5jmV Tuesday, December 25, 2018 12:15:32 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @netflix how do I turn this crap off? https://t.co/F3Gf42uSKA Saturday, December 15, 2018 11:02:16 PMTwitter for Android
@marygayscanlon thank you! https://t.co/SEriGwFjmv
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, December 13, 2018 9:29:49 PMTwitter for Android
Shame on you for campaigning for Net Neutrality here: https://t.co/1dy3BCijkK

And then deleting that page after getting paid by ISPs. Money talks. Shit walks. You are CROOKED
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, December 12, 2018 1:19:37 PMTwitter for Android
Bunch of dumb motherfuckers over at the @EPA relaxing coal regulations. Fuck coal, that's some 1800s shit. Can we promote greener energy in 2018 for fucks sake? Sunday, December 09, 2018 10:17:08 AMTwitter for Android
The fuck wants to open new coal plants? What a bunch of dumb bastards. It's almost 2019. That's some 1800s shit https://t.co/YsUaFJmdQU Thursday, December 06, 2018 9:44:40 AMTwitter for Android
@AjitPaiFCC you're a goddamn fraud. Eat a dick Tuesday, December 04, 2018 12:39:00 AMTwitter for Android
I'm over here watching Jersey Shore Reunion with my parents and my mom's calling Vinny a wimp because Angelina wants a pounding and he won't bang her

#whatismylife #whoarethesepeople
Sunday, December 02, 2018 11:04:05 PMTwitter for Android
Every single year when it turns December, I always play Linkin Park - My December, and every single year, my wife laughs at me and calls me an emo. Saturday, December 01, 2018 11:39:59 AMTwitter for Android
New. York. Shitty! Thursday, November 29, 2018 11:41:13 PMTwitter for Android
Out at the bar and my boy's bragging about how his woman is picking him up in her jag #showoff Thursday, November 29, 2018 10:08:12 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Yep. I read they have no way to enforce it for out of state drivers
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Thursday, November 29, 2018 7:16:05 AMTwitter for Android
BARRY O KNOWS WTF IS UP. Fucking politics, man. You have two sides living in two different fantasy worlds (but one side is also dumb af)

https://t.co/EuKg9bPBhr
Wednesday, November 28, 2018 11:42:57 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 "Too many turnstyle jumpers not being prosecuted so we need to raise fares and tolls" #eatadickMTA
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Wednesday, November 28, 2018 11:16:35 PMTwitter for Android
JFC... We need to get better interwebs in Columbus. Look at how good this is https://t.co/AzIAccgn43 Wednesday, November 28, 2018 11:08:29 PMTwitter for Android
@Lued_y You let 5 dogs starve to death? Kill yourself.
In reply to @Lued_y's tweet
Sunday, November 25, 2018 5:29:59 PMTwitter for Android
Something has to be done about how buggy everything is these days. Google, Android, Microsoft... Nothing fucking works right.

https://t.co/GxMZbsfoAU https://t.co/qATBCUmhze
Sunday, November 25, 2018 5:28:33 PMTwitter for Android
@RMerlinDev Do you think this will be Asus' new flagship, like the 68u and 86u? I have an 87u and it is very apparent they don't care about updating it to 384. I want to get a model where they actively develop the firmware for it for years
In reply to @RMerlinDev's tweet
Sunday, November 25, 2018 3:37:24 PMTwitter for Android
No. It cannot

https://t.co/AnmoGL9Den
Sunday, November 25, 2018 3:26:26 PMTwitter for Android
This dude: "Hold my beer" https://t.co/IuAhCSaTt4 Sunday, November 25, 2018 1:52:28 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump You're a big dummy https://t.co/eTnvm25YO7
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Saturday, November 24, 2018 9:22:40 PMTwitter for Android
A very disappointed ❌ichigan fan just walked out of the spa and his voice sounded like they cancelled Christmas Saturday, November 24, 2018 3:16:48 PMTwitter for Android
We get it, we get it.... The @NYCTSubway is a cesspool shithole #oldnews https://t.co/OxARhb3h92 Saturday, November 24, 2018 12:34:30 AMTwitter for Android
Hey Google this bug is back again you dumb motherfuckers. Doesn't anyone test this shit? Android auto is completely unusable.

https://t.co/Gpsq6Dkv9e
Friday, November 23, 2018 1:00:24 AMTwitter for Android
Send the fucking bitch who did this to these poor dogs foot first through a wood chipper: https://t.co/KS0VYTxgui Tuesday, November 20, 2018 7:07:44 PMTwitter for Android
Freddy brought over the idiotic Juul like we're in friggin high school. I'm too old for this shit Sunday, November 18, 2018 8:28:26 PMTwitter for Android
If this is true, Zuck is savage af https://t.co/74ToO2Rq4r Thursday, November 15, 2018 2:11:27 AMTwitter for Android
@Speedtest How can I report that a default server being chosen has inaccurate speeds. Other servers I select show my true speed. It should not be suggested anymore. It's reporting 30mbps when all others show me at 117mbps Monday, November 12, 2018 2:22:20 AMTwitter for Android
jfc now it's Niclelback
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, November 11, 2018 10:04:02 PMTwitter for Android
I'm at Walmart and they're playing Creed. Need to reevaluate my life Sunday, November 11, 2018 9:57:30 PMTwitter for Android
@Ask_Spectrum hey there's a Nationwide spectrum outage right now. Want to acknowledge it on your Twitter? Friday, November 09, 2018 1:57:25 AMTwitter for Android
Spectrum is a fucking terrible ISP... Nationwide outage (again), prices increasing, and it's $65/month for 100mbps that doesn't go faster than 80mbps and they claim there's nothing else they can do to get it to reach the advertised speeds

Hey @AjitPaiFCC - eat a dick, fuckface
Friday, November 09, 2018 1:54:49 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @AjitPaiFCC: go fuck yourself!

https://t.co/07BfQwzklD
Monday, November 05, 2018 10:17:58 PMTwitter for Android
Yo where's my neighbor driving off to at this hour? It's almost 3am on a weeknight in the middle of suburbia. Guy's literally an older white dude who shut off all his lights to keep trick or treaters away. What could he possibly be doing? Thursday, November 01, 2018 2:43:28 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @googlechrome how about fixing the blatantly obvious bug where there is no cursor in the address bar on Android 9 on my Pixel 2 Wednesday, October 31, 2018 7:07:59 PMTwitter for Android
Slack is using 45% CPU
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 3:24:07 AMTwitter for Android
Keep it up and I quit. I'm going to move to the backwoods and give up all modern technology. Just disappear off the radar and become a lumberjack in Alaska like fuckin Dexter (what a garbage ending btw)
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:37:47 AMTwitter for Android
We are so technologically advanced as a society, yet nothing fucking has good user experience and I'm motherfucking sick of it.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:36:10 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking Microsoft and it's Windows 10 updates 1) Deleting people's files 2) Intel pushing bad audio drivers through Windows updates

Why? They are more concerned with stupid fucking features like 3D paint.

Get the fuck out of here. Will you assholes release stable shit?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:35:11 AMTwitter for Android
Missed my entire fucking Halloween party because I recommended against something but my boss made us do it anyway at 7PM on Friday and then another asshole engineer broke the cluster and boom, 5 hours wasted.

Everyone can eat a dick
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:33:00 AMTwitter for Android
Everything is shit. No one tests anything. Blatantly obvious bugs preventing things from working. Fire everyone .
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:31:45 AMTwitter for Android
Waze and Android Auto? Garbage UX and bugs

Samsung Smart TVs? Beautiful displays, garbage software

Google Play Movies sends me a note that the upgraded a movie to 4K for free. And it doesn't fucking play
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, October 29, 2018 1:31:02 AMTwitter for Android
Technology is goddamn infuriating. Everything is a buggy piece of shit. Nothing works right. Product owners are overpaid assholes who add useless features and don't focus on a smooth experience Monday, October 29, 2018 1:28:51 AMTwitter for Android
@nypost Jesus Christ with this clickbait headline you tabloid assed paper. Respect the man and put his name in the headline, y'all made it sound like Sterling kicked it!
In reply to @nypost's tweet
Tuesday, October 23, 2018 11:32:06 PMTwitter for Android
My dog and I just farted on each other Tuesday, October 23, 2018 11:24:32 PMTwitter for Android
Run em over, I say! Ain't got no time for delaying millions of people

https://t.co/bgGd5JcWON
Monday, October 22, 2018 10:26:44 AMTwitter for Android
Call the waaaaambulance! 🚑🚑 @comcast

https://t.co/cwoLlLrWdY
Wednesday, October 17, 2018 2:05:11 AMTwitter for Android
I'm in a fight with fuckin Spectrum again for providing speeds 20-50 Mbps lower than they promise. Getting the absolute runaround Thursday, October 11, 2018 12:03:55 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, CC Tuesday, October 09, 2018 8:18:27 PMTwitter for Android
F'in Spectrum. Paying $65/month for 100/10... Just found out WOW is in my area and can get 300/20 for $50

Plus, haven't been breaking over 80mbps lately. Wtf
Tuesday, October 09, 2018 10:18:18 AMTwitter for Android
Astros over the Dodgers in 6 Monday, October 08, 2018 10:21:38 PMTwitter for Android
It's too goddamn hot in October these days. Fuckssake @EPA @GOP and @realDonaldTrump you climate change denying cunts https://t.co/U84MP7Zaci Sunday, October 07, 2018 8:32:52 PMTwitter for Android
jfc with the guy that threw beer on that A's fan. Be classier, Yankees fans. We already have a bad rep for being assholes. Friday, October 05, 2018 1:01:13 AMTwitter for Android
LUKE MOFUGGIN VOIT. Looks like a dude who gave his mother a hard time growing up. https://t.co/no6mrTZMA4 Wednesday, October 03, 2018 10:41:57 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump eat a dick https://t.co/NZuJHFKZ5w Wednesday, October 03, 2018 2:18:59 PMTwitter for Android
Microsoft's outside their gd minds. No USB-C? Surfacebook 1 has shit firmware and takes 10 mins to boot and it sucks at DPI scaling. Piece of shit Lenovos are more modern and msft calls this a flagship? Shame

https://t.co/4UKcGdVsEN
Sunday, September 30, 2018 3:05:39 PMTwitter for Android
New York City: Always Be Top Shelf Thursday, September 27, 2018 9:20:17 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @MetroNorth these GCT outbound trains are spaced out like absolute shit. You are all idiots. Keep raising those fares and cutting trains though! https://t.co/vugI1uM9Cw Monday, September 24, 2018 11:16:55 PMTwitter for Android
Christ Almighty... I had one Fin Du Monde 9% abv beer on an empty stomach and I'm tipsy because I gave up being an alcoholic years ago. #lightweight Friday, September 21, 2018 4:12:20 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump https://t.co/R5Ilezibx5
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Thursday, September 13, 2018 2:00:45 PMTwitter for Android
Ajit Pai is an asshole Monday, September 10, 2018 8:35:35 PMTwitter for Android
Guava Nerds taste like vomit Sunday, September 09, 2018 4:53:01 PMTwitter for Android
@Fantasy_Mania Send me that sausage and pepp!
In reply to @Fantasy_Mania's tweet
Sunday, September 02, 2018 6:36:49 AMTwitter for Android
See, here's my issue with this opener for Live and Counting Crows... Why you players need a MacBook on stage to make music? They didn't have that shit in the 90s. Come onnnn Sunday, August 26, 2018 6:51:49 PMTwitter for Android
How 'bout those poor @ElementTVs workers in SC losing their jobs because of Trump's tariffs? Guess they better apply for some of those clean coal jobs!

https://t.co/mwxER4H9QL
Saturday, August 25, 2018 12:44:35 AMTwitter for Android
Surely that wall will keep the bastards out tho!
https://t.co/6gnIv5Allt
Friday, August 24, 2018 12:37:09 AMTwitter for Android
I can't go on anymore. Too exhausted
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, August 22, 2018 3:19:47 AMTwitter for Android
Trump: "Beautiful clean coal"

Yeah, for sure those three words all tie together nicely.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, August 22, 2018 3:03:34 AMTwitter for Android
I think our President alluded that the WV Governor had a big dick based on how tall he was and called him "the largest, most beautiful man"
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, August 22, 2018 3:01:04 AMTwitter for Android
I was watching the Trump West Virginia rally. It's entertainment. Reality TV at it's finest. You can't even make it up. Literally on the floor laughing at how absurd everything is
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, August 22, 2018 2:32:54 AMTwitter for Android
The inbred-ness of the West Virginia people at yesterday's Trump rally is off the charts ridiculous, laugh out loud funny. These people are an embarrassment to the USA. Kick the entire state out of the Union! Wednesday, August 22, 2018 2:20:27 AMTwitter for Android
When I find the motherfucker who stole my gas tank cap, I'm going to be plugging their asshole shut with it Tuesday, August 21, 2018 10:47:17 PMTwitter for Android
Y'all. There are too many absurd things happing in the world right now for me to satirize on here. I can't vanish from the Twitterverse now. Cuncel my Twitter leave. Friday, August 17, 2018 1:34:02 AMTwitter for Android
I'll be taking a break from here for a bit again. Cya in the future. Wednesday, August 15, 2018 1:23:30 AMTwitter for Android
Suck it @AjitPaiFCC

https://t.co/lGfkE786Ih
Monday, August 13, 2018 6:16:05 PMTwitter for Android
Send @AjitPaiFCC straight into the sun on this rocket!
https://t.co/7zRo6ViQrG
Sunday, August 12, 2018 10:26:29 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck you @MonsantoCo !!! Friday, August 10, 2018 8:45:16 PMTwitter for Android
@EPAAWheeler @EPA You're a bunch of morons
In reply to @EPAAWheeler's tweet
Friday, August 10, 2018 4:27:50 AMTwitter for Android
Y'all just need to get the fuck out of there. The entire metro area. Just leave. Pure savagery.

https://t.co/Aj1Cxw7Xjy
Friday, August 10, 2018 4:16:29 AMTwitter for Android