9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| @BadPointer .NETfiddle brah In reply to @BadPointer's tweet | Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:33:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Time Warner sucks absolute dick. Worst. ISP. Ever. | Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:32:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @DadBoner: If you're not gettin' blackout bombed for Guy Fieri's b-day, you might as well just groan out a hot whizz on the American fla… | Wednesday, January 22, 2014 11:21:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I said one line during that whole meeting. It was a joke. They laughed | Wednesday, January 22, 2014 5:51:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is this conference room haunted? There are ridiculous temperature swings here | Wednesday, January 22, 2014 5:01:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm about to dropkick our director of engineering | Wednesday, January 22, 2014 4:41:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| In a 2 hr meeting. Conference room is 85. FML | Wednesday, January 22, 2014 4:13:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm batshit crazy | Monday, January 20, 2014 7:55:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Unbelievably hot on this train. Gotta turn that heat all the way up in honor of #MLK We're not wearing winter coats or anythig | Monday, January 20, 2014 6:59:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I am now in a Twitter fight with @waspito. We are fighting over Jennifer Lawrence. | Sunday, January 19, 2014 1:09:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Sorry Mal. Gonna go see my gf Jennifer in American Hustle tonight. | Saturday, January 18, 2014 9:08:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There ya go man. Keep as cool as you can | Saturday, January 18, 2014 3:10:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Guy with the harmonica singing piano man is gonna pull in mad pussy even though he's ugly and bald as fuck. | Friday, January 17, 2014 11:34:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This gentleman singing Like a Virgin at karaoke must be missing his testicles. Thought a woman was singing. Pretty good tho | Friday, January 17, 2014 11:07:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Such a narcissist. Just looked at my reflection in a tap handle and couldn't get over how fuckin hot I am | Friday, January 17, 2014 9:37:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm rooting for this guy and two smokes at the bar to have a threesome | Friday, January 17, 2014 9:15:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy bday grandma | Friday, January 17, 2014 8:57:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wake up in the morning feeling like @tomwcleary | Friday, January 17, 2014 8:32:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 90s techno on at the bar. I'm getting wasted #bemyloverwannabemylover | Friday, January 17, 2014 8:15:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 72 weeks in a row at bars, according to foursquare. I need to get my life together | Friday, January 17, 2014 6:41:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'd be slightly jealous that @BarstoolJJ is on a bender, but I'm three deep at the bar on lunch. | Friday, January 17, 2014 2:15:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bald eagle eyebrows | Thursday, January 16, 2014 10:22:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Those are what I call dick wrecking boots | Thursday, January 16, 2014 6:37:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If you wear shorts and a winter coat on the subway in January, you're a certified psychopath. #serialkiller http://t.co/atjhQUmEaK | Thursday, January 16, 2014 10:21:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: I hear the 4,5,6 line is real pleasant tonight. For sure not. | Wednesday, January 15, 2014 8:13:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu ...said no one ever, except this clown. | Wednesday, January 15, 2014 8:12:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I like wearing sneakers, my dude | Monday, January 13, 2014 10:11:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| John. Shut the fuck up | Monday, January 13, 2014 5:56:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Security guys just have no fucking idea and are the least practical. All they care about is fixing the vulnerability, not breaking shit | Monday, January 13, 2014 5:24:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Kevin. The second you start micromanaging and asking what I'm working on every 3 minutes is when I fuckin walk out and take lunch | Monday, January 13, 2014 1:48:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Maybe this incident will finish McGivern off. Don't think his ticker can withstand another outage. | Monday, January 13, 2014 5:26:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I could've at least fixed the fuckin problem in my sleep instead of our fucking system being down for hours | Monday, January 13, 2014 5:25:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Let me just reiterate the severity: Got up, turned on my light and computer, put in my VPN pin+token id. Went back to bed. Woke up confused. | Monday, January 13, 2014 5:19:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I think I just sleep-worked on production... Woke up to 20 mins worth of alerts, light on and my VPN was connected. THE FUCK | Monday, January 13, 2014 5:10:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I have an unhealthy obsession with Jennifer Lawrence | Sunday, January 12, 2014 7:41:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Been out drinking since like 11am. Am I a pussy if I just wanna go home and chill the most? | Saturday, January 11, 2014 8:09:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I waited on Joan Jett. She had a Jameson neat. | Saturday, January 11, 2014 4:08:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Stripes are so hot. I ruin girls wearing stripes | Saturday, January 11, 2014 3:42:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "It was just jimmy page's birthday. Let's do a shot for him my page" -Santino | Saturday, January 11, 2014 3:35:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Foo Fighters and whiskey at Watering. Legit + Netta | Saturday, January 11, 2014 3:31:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| In NEwwww Yprkkkkkkk. Concrete jungle where trains never get you where you need to go. There's smoke conditions and delaysssssssssssss | Saturday, January 11, 2014 2:10:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I got hit by a car once. It was my friend. As a joke. It wasn't fun" -Santino | Saturday, January 11, 2014 1:39:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted | Saturday, January 11, 2014 1:15:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm just the happiest. @MalJNew | Saturday, January 11, 2014 1:00:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Isn't it strange that all people are different flesh colors?" -@MalJNew | Saturday, January 11, 2014 12:39:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol arod | Saturday, January 11, 2014 12:31:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Significantly tipssssss before noon. They put the roofelin in these mimosas here | Saturday, January 11, 2014 12:00:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I feel like you're expected to be drunk at brunch. I mean.... What's there to do between breakfast and lunch except drink?" -Santino | Saturday, January 11, 2014 11:51:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Chillen the most, you guys | Friday, January 10, 2014 10:09:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Recovery has been pulled | Friday, January 10, 2014 12:45:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Overheard at the bar: "I would stab a guy in the face to eat that girl's asshole" | Friday, January 10, 2014 12:15:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Cheers to the old dude at McFadden's frat ass bat | Thursday, January 09, 2014 11:47:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ryanne is bartending tonight. I'm getting wasted | Thursday, January 09, 2014 11:43:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Santino is awesome | Thursday, January 09, 2014 11:17:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My job is LITERALLY shitty. Can't even poop here. I tried both floors and all stalls are maxed out. #dafuq | Thursday, January 09, 2014 3:26:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This old bitch smells like crusted piss | Thursday, January 09, 2014 8:51:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Omg. I've forgotten how much dick it sucks to commute from Westchester | Thursday, January 09, 2014 8:50:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Bitch get yourself checked out | Thursday, January 09, 2014 8:44:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Motherfuckers need to stop coughing on this train. It's like I'm in a TB ward | Thursday, January 09, 2014 8:39:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I've got a cray | Monday, January 06, 2014 10:01:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Incorrect tweet of 2014: "I'll cut you some slack. You bleed three out of four weeks every month. Wait... I reversed that..." | Monday, January 06, 2014 9:58:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I want-a the mortadella sliced a thin-a | Sunday, January 05, 2014 7:46:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This little old Italian lady/ deli guy interaction would make for Oscar winning television. I'm cracking up | Sunday, January 05, 2014 7:46:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| A woman just ordered half white and half yellow american cheese at the deli. Isn't it the same shit and just dyed? | Sunday, January 05, 2014 7:42:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| DAT ass | Sunday, January 05, 2014 7:04:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| *aisle In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, January 05, 2014 12:43:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "My mom's gonna be my maid of honor, Jeff's walking me down the isle and you gays are gonna be my bridesmaids" | Sunday, January 05, 2014 12:23:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| For the record, we were talking about a rich Middle Eastern guy and I said that he had that A-Rab money. Oops @MalJNew | Saturday, January 04, 2014 8:34:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The computerized text to speech engine they use at Phoenix Sky Harbor is the same one that is used for Stephen Hawking on Family Guy | Saturday, January 04, 2014 12:49:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Yo they look like they're related or some shit... Oh wait, we're watching Family Feud." -@portfolioso | Saturday, January 04, 2014 2:08:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Trying to play the slots ya fuckin homewrecker. #PokemonSilver #SlutLiz hitting me up all noche http://t.co/jEC5gSZ9jQ | Saturday, January 04, 2014 1:47:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Took two shits in time of peace and two in time of war. I took two shits before I took two shits, and then I took two more | Friday, January 03, 2014 9:10:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Took two shits in the mornin. Took two shits at night. Took two shits in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright | Friday, January 03, 2014 9:09:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Liz you slut. Stop calling me for the D.... http://t.co/RuhZxdWUHf | Friday, January 03, 2014 8:36:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: I'm going to a couples game night tonight. Remember that when you are trying to fuck a rando tonight. | Friday, January 03, 2014 6:53:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @tomwcleary Everyone is always in a contract dispute with Cablevision. Since 2002 with the Yankees.... They never want to pay... In reply to @tomwcleary's tweet | Friday, January 03, 2014 6:53:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Which one looks cooler? http://t.co/4wIzc1cTdD | Friday, January 03, 2014 3:30:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Enjoyyyyyyyyy to everyone in NY with the snow and 0 degree weather. I'm in a fly hot tub looking at the stars. | Friday, January 03, 2014 12:50:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My beard is excellent | Thursday, January 02, 2014 2:48:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Peaches and cream I need it cause you know that I'm a fiend http://t.co/LvmjSjtW09 | Wednesday, January 01, 2014 11:44:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The best detox is retox | Wednesday, January 01, 2014 10:57:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hos and Peace http://t.co/YfbyBmm2z7 | Wednesday, January 01, 2014 8:16:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just ordered a rack of ribs #fattie | Wednesday, January 01, 2014 7:22:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This Michelle champagne tastes like assholes | Wednesday, January 01, 2014 6:27:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You rat muddafucka you | Wednesday, January 01, 2014 1:10:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| 10 mins to all my east coast crackers. I got a couple of extra hours in the 2013 this year | Tuesday, December 31, 2013 11:52:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh Jorge, I'm very disappointed in your test scores. Is everything alright at home? | Monday, December 30, 2013 6:52:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These motherfuckers need to get their shit together with these server alerts and instability while I'm away. | Monday, December 30, 2013 3:45:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| John P. Egg sangwich. Noms | Sunday, December 29, 2013 10:09:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Man with his flaming fire has conquered the wayward breezes | Sunday, December 29, 2013 9:05:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Waspito how does one accidentally 6 shots of vodka? | Saturday, December 28, 2013 10:33:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These apple pies are knocking me on my ass. | Saturday, December 28, 2013 6:45:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Its time for apple pies! | Saturday, December 28, 2013 6:10:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I got about 1300 rounds of ammo" | Saturday, December 28, 2013 4:54:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Is it acceptable to live tweet a mass? I kinda wanna get cray and commentate... | Saturday, December 28, 2013 12:05:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "When I was trippin' one time, I was drivin'" | Friday, December 27, 2013 11:43:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I tell the judge I'm 63, fuck them. | Friday, December 27, 2013 11:39:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| John P: "Once I took acid fugheddabouddit. I took acid every day after that" | Friday, December 27, 2013 11:18:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Back in 1971..." Lol | Friday, December 27, 2013 11:13:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Told the TSA guy I had a bottle of dihydrogen monoxide on my person and he freaked out. Dumbass | Friday, December 27, 2013 12:18:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The fam basically pulled #MailTime on Christmas dinner. Just didn't give a fuck | Friday, December 27, 2013 12:49:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Absolute horse shit meal served to me this Christmas. Ranks as one of the worst Christmas dinners in 25 years. Leftover fuckin leather veal. | Thursday, December 26, 2013 10:05:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Best. Workday. Ever. #Shiner http://t.co/hQkjRg0mY3 | Thursday, December 26, 2013 2:52:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I can spot a bad bitch from a mile away. My slutdar is top notch. | Thursday, December 26, 2013 1:00:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen. | Wednesday, December 25, 2013 11:36:45 AM | Twitter for Android |
| As a Christmas present, I present to you all the infamous Loyola Commons roof fromble: https://t.co/BV0Xefuz8S | Wednesday, December 25, 2013 11:29:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu omg I need to put that on YouTube | Tuesday, December 24, 2013 11:33:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I was watching old college drunken videos and pops laughed for 30secs when someone said "don't drink and drive when you can smoke and fly" | Tuesday, December 24, 2013 11:13:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Watching Winnie the Pooh and Christmas Too like a boss. | Tuesday, December 24, 2013 5:23:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My dad is so obsessed with the Sopranos he legit downloaded Tony Soprano's cell phone ringtone | Tuesday, December 24, 2013 1:11:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| When I get a dog, his or her name is going to either be Baller or Dawg | Monday, December 23, 2013 1:31:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @H9RBSjs: If I see a URL with "index2.html", there's no way I'm leaving that website without trying "index.html". | Monday, December 23, 2013 11:48:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| 58 minute "express" train should've been 32 minutes. #MTA #Awesome | Monday, December 23, 2013 8:59:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Baby on the train: shut the fuck up | Saturday, December 21, 2013 5:04:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Colithika hope it snows when I'm there. If not whatever In reply to @Colithika's tweet | Saturday, December 21, 2013 1:36:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Happy winter! (PS, why is it 60 degrees!?) | Saturday, December 21, 2013 12:32:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Apparently, I don't like when people talk too much. I should practice what I preach: http://t.co/Dx6X4XCaNS | Saturday, December 21, 2013 3:01:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The YouTube mobile app is a piece of shit. Uploaded a video I took normally (not vertical) uploaded it on my phone, and it uploaded vertical | Saturday, December 21, 2013 2:46:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Wow. I thought grand central was bad? Penn sucks a dick | Friday, December 20, 2013 5:59:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin Penn Station is hot as balls | Friday, December 20, 2013 5:51:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu Bob Johnson, owner of eatadick .info 1075 N. Benson Rd. Hahahhahaha | Friday, December 20, 2013 5:14:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This dude Gabe is SO annoying. He knows it all. He'll overhear you talking, chime in and his way is better. #fuckoff | Friday, December 20, 2013 12:38:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This season of Mob Wives is out if control. Hilarious. PS - Drita's the shit | Thursday, December 19, 2013 11:30:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @smstemp taught my grandma about her phone once. Had to explain to her what a sext was after she got some random pic messages #awkward | Wednesday, December 18, 2013 8:46:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cya Astoria | Tuesday, December 17, 2013 10:03:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| McGivern is ripping me a new asshole because I was unprepared to roll back and our SLA got fucked. #whoops | Tuesday, December 17, 2013 4:22:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu no because I'm leaving this shithole in a year or so and then I'll be okay | Monday, December 16, 2013 10:34:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It's bullshit that our snowstorm turned to rain. It's like 28 degrees.. Gonna be icy as a motherfucker out there... | Sunday, December 15, 2013 2:16:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The degenerate family returned... Wonderful | Sunday, December 15, 2013 2:09:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| So Kevin cleaned up all those booby traps and shit in one evening? | Sunday, December 15, 2013 2:08:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Awww snow on Christmas morning. I need that shit. | Sunday, December 15, 2013 2:07:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Ya don't kill a tarantula with a crowbar ya dumbass | Sunday, December 15, 2013 2:00:30 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew would react worse than Marv if I put a tarantula on her face. | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:59:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| yo Marv... Hope you have your tetanus shot... That nail to the foot is out of control... | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:55:42 AM | Twitter for Android |
| No offense but aren't you a little to old to be afraid? | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:45:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Santa... Your car's a piece of shit... | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:39:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yeah. Just hitchhike with a random ass polka band dude. Sounds legit | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:33:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna give ya to the count of 10 to get ya ugly, yella, no good keister off my property. | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:30:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| All those groceries were only $18.83? Shit. Bring me back to 1990 | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:27:18 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I GOTTA watch that mob movie. Shame it's not real. I'd probably like it better than Casino. | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:23:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Buzz's 3 reasons... A, 2 and D... Dumbass | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:21:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You guys come back, I'll be ready! | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:18:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Herb?! Is this toothbrush ADA approved? | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:14:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Grow a pair Kevin. I know you're 7 but aftershave doesn't burn that bad. Also, way to fuck up Buzz's shelves. Guy deserved it. | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:10:30 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Smart kid, Kevin... You can't trust the fuckin PO-lice. I wouldn't answer the door either. | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:08:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Crisis intervention cop is such a douchebag.. Keep eating that donut bro. | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:06:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My boys dad down the block was a landscaper and had that same blue Dodge Ram. Such a sketch vehicle. | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:03:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I wish I could sled ride down my stairs, out my front door and onto my lawn too! So tight! | Sunday, December 15, 2013 1:00:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| 1, 2, 10! | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:57:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @nyJULZmd Buzz! Your girlfriend.. woof! | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:57:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Kevin...You are such a disease! | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:55:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dumb bastards leave for Europe without closing the garage? Come on!!! | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:54:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| They're all in first class? Pretentious pricks... Can't even remember their own son. | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:52:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| When I was a kid, my first plane ride was post Home Alone. I wondered why we didn't have to rush. It was b/c my family's not degenerates | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:51:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Movie's so dated.... Power outage makes everyone oversleep? #getaniphonebro | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:48:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi! | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:45:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Pizza delivery guy drives worse than an Asian woman... | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:41:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Buzz has the hots for French chicks without shaved pits | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:39:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Uncle Franks a dick and his mom is too busy on the phone | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:35:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Live tweeting Home Alone starts now | Sunday, December 15, 2013 12:34:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Playing Cranium. Had to act out Clint Eastwood.... Said Eminem rapped about him in his mid 20s and Andy guessed right. | Saturday, December 14, 2013 10:16:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Danny just started singing me Baby Its cold outside... So now I'm 100% watching Elf with the lady. | Saturday, December 14, 2013 10:04:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @SonicBlur23 ya cocksucker... Thanks for showing me the Android game Traffic Racer. Now I'm gonna take 30 min shits at work instead of 24.. | Saturday, December 14, 2013 9:51:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| No sugar tonight in my coffee. No sugar tonight in my tea. | Saturday, December 14, 2013 9:48:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| http://t.co/ZkcCCUWlGc | Saturday, December 14, 2013 9:24:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ya called the front desk, but no one answered. That means Chugar killed the front desk dude duh. | Saturday, December 14, 2013 9:21:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Supposed to take the tracker outta the money first ya dumbass | Saturday, December 14, 2013 8:51:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| ”You mind riding bitch?" Best quote of the whole movie.. | Saturday, December 14, 2013 8:36:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp. Home Alone isn't available yet, so I'll live tweet No Country for Old Men instead. | Saturday, December 14, 2013 8:31:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I beat out a bunch of black girls in a booty shaking contest" -@MalJNew | Saturday, December 14, 2013 7:06:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Home alone is on Telemundo at the bar and its still awesome | Saturday, December 14, 2013 6:27:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Growlers is killing it on the tunes tonight. #LedZeppelin When the levee breaks | Saturday, December 14, 2013 6:26:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't care if @KFCBarstool did it already... I'm live tweeting Home Alone tonight. | Saturday, December 14, 2013 6:22:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This bitch is so fucking orange, I'm about to get a tan off that glow. | Saturday, December 14, 2013 4:54:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wearing the gf's girly boots in the snow. #BarstoolConfessions | Saturday, December 14, 2013 10:29:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Smell like the bottom of a bar.... | Friday, December 13, 2013 8:38:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It. Might be worth it to take the edge off it | Thursday, December 12, 2013 11:39:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol music's on at the bar. my mom likes Katy Perry so if she's disappointed in ne, she's a fraud | Thursday, December 12, 2013 11:38:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I told her I was your boss and now she's all about me"-Colin | Thursday, December 12, 2013 9:20:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew stop smoking cigarettes dumbass. Smoke something better | Thursday, December 12, 2013 9:14:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I might be jealous that my girl has connections with the hot bartender. Not gonna lie | Thursday, December 12, 2013 8:52:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Whoever smoked weed in this bathroom knows what's up | Thursday, December 12, 2013 8:49:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "This bartender gets so many get out of jail free cards that I wanna snack her down a notch" -Colin | Thursday, December 12, 2013 8:47:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I just want to tell you that you have a great ass" @MalJNew to the bartender who actually dies have a great ass. #nohomo | Thursday, December 12, 2013 8:45:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I'm gonna stop drinking soon..."-me "Is that urgent or important?"-Colin GUY'S TIGHT | Thursday, December 12, 2013 8:33:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Got funny looks chugging a pitcher of beer in the office, you guys | Thursday, December 12, 2013 7:01:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm getting hammered tonight | Thursday, December 12, 2013 6:46:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| K now that I'm coherent again, this Twitter Android app update sucks a dick | Thursday, December 12, 2013 2:30:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| ⚡ Twitter ruined its Android app. Christ.⚡ (so difficult to use) hhhhj @MalJNew | Wednesday, December 11, 2013 10:18:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Food stamps and EBT #butyougotdatiphone5tho | Wednesday, December 11, 2013 9:20:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Somehow I've managed to get mashed potatoes on my belt buckle. | Wednesday, December 11, 2013 9:02:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Android needs to lose the problem where it becomes slow as fuck while apps are updating or installing | Tuesday, December 10, 2013 9:18:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Everything sucks a dick | Tuesday, December 10, 2013 6:47:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit and corruption | Monday, December 09, 2013 7:09:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These wasabi almonds are blowing my mouth. #mouthfireworks | Sunday, December 08, 2013 10:07:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| So I heard the USB 3.1 spec is supposed to have reversible connectors. #copyingapple About time. USB cables have 3 sides- 2 that don't work | Sunday, December 08, 2013 9:41:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I can't think of an original tweet today. I just keep retweeting @BarstoolJJ 's shit because I fully agree | Sunday, December 08, 2013 2:31:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: I'm throwing a sweatpants party today. 20people coming over for football and food all day but not sweats no admission. | Sunday, December 08, 2013 2:29:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: Too old to be at Libation | Sunday, December 08, 2013 10:11:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| We're so dumb..... | Sunday, December 08, 2013 2:09:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "Did I just chirp?" -@MalJNew | Sunday, December 08, 2013 2:08:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "Guys... Vaginas make more sense than boxes" OH LAWD | Wednesday, December 04, 2013 11:28:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Deaf air bangulars | Wednesday, December 04, 2013 11:24:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Build server completely crashed during a RAID controller maintenance. I resign. | Wednesday, December 04, 2013 9:39:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Touche. And if you disagree, you're false. RT @lissema11 There is no better Christmas album than the Carpenters. #noargument | Tuesday, December 03, 2013 9:26:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew fullashit. I have a pants tent. U ever see curb? | Sunday, December 01, 2013 5:07:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just drunk texted the gf's mom about the direction toilet paper should be rolled in. We agreed. Top down son... | Sunday, December 01, 2013 5:00:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Some cracker keeps vulnerability scanning our servers. Getting mad alerts. Hammered son. | Sunday, December 01, 2013 3:49:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lol. I have to see John McGivern tomorrow. I hope he choked on a dick over Thanksgiving. | Sunday, December 01, 2013 3:10:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hughlon's jammin' | Sunday, December 01, 2013 2:54:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ims just going to get as fucked up as possible | Sunday, December 01, 2013 2:39:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I was a little sad, and then I went to take a selfie and i look fucking ridiculous with this shitty haircut and stache. Then I smiled. | Saturday, November 30, 2013 12:53:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Waspito Murrrrrica.... Happy Thanksgiving to you, Veronica and fam! | Thursday, November 28, 2013 5:18:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The fuck gave my uncle the remote? Why is this PBS shit on instead of football? http://t.co/zPONFaXrzV | Thursday, November 28, 2013 5:17:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My lock screen tho #sex #boobies http://t.co/1kGtyoXZ0S | Wednesday, November 27, 2013 5:51:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @DadBoner: Really lookin' forward to 'Ving, you guys. | Wednesday, November 27, 2013 5:45:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| A legit tortoise just popped a squat on the train next to me. #thefuck | Wednesday, November 27, 2013 5:42:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What kind of fuckin asshole picks the stall next to you in the shitter when the end one's open? (Jeans, dirty white Nikes w/ a red swoosh) | Wednesday, November 27, 2013 2:39:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Did I break my integration? | Wednesday, November 27, 2013 3:28:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu o shit. Didn't realize this. I will now animate axelrod going to town on the ladies. | Tuesday, November 26, 2013 7:19:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu understood. I've found no easy way besides online tools to make gifs. Adobe included imagready w/ Photoshop cs2, but discontinued it | Tuesday, November 26, 2013 7:12:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu Flash is so 2003 | Tuesday, November 26, 2013 7:00:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I need a puppy | Monday, November 25, 2013 8:22:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How am I actually supposed to get work done if fucking people stand at my desk and ask questions or chat all day? | Monday, November 25, 2013 11:59:45 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The guy horizontal, taking up an entire bench on a rush hour subway train deserves no less than a bullet in his head. Fucking waste of life. | Monday, November 25, 2013 9:05:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Its Monday, which is the worst day of the week because I get to see that fuckin asshole McGivern at that shithole today. | Monday, November 25, 2013 7:47:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel da Giants | Sunday, November 24, 2013 7:40:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| That's some bullshit | Sunday, November 24, 2013 7:40:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Train engineer/driver is obviously an amateur hour. Guy did a slip/slide and ground down/locked the wheels | Sunday, November 24, 2013 2:26:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| 2.5 hours in/Drunk train home: Happy birthday @mich_amore | Sunday, November 24, 2013 2:24:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I wish this middle aged dude would stop making jerking off motions with his hand. | Sunday, November 24, 2013 2:13:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My tab tonight can completely suck my dick | Sunday, November 24, 2013 2:09:18 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Last train home is soooooo funny. Haven't taken this shit in years | Sunday, November 24, 2013 1:58:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Google's "I'm feelin' lucky radio" mix is top notch right now. | Friday, November 22, 2013 8:41:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Stein: "I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it" | Thursday, November 21, 2013 10:37:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @stoolpresidente: The dude at best buy who sold me this Windows 8 computer is a felon | Thursday, November 21, 2013 8:02:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Then they wonder why I hit the bottle #booker | Wednesday, November 20, 2013 6:43:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dibs on a bar called "The Stiff Cheese" Fuckin baller name if I say so myself | Tuesday, November 19, 2013 10:55:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| That's a damn good pickle | Tuesday, November 19, 2013 10:46:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I could go for a sausage and peppers right now. | Tuesday, November 19, 2013 10:38:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Joe Stein is 100% awesome. | Tuesday, November 19, 2013 3:00:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Guy who replaced Barry talks 3mph and sounds like a jackass and his trains are continuously late. Fucking reject | Tuesday, November 19, 2013 7:42:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Itching for Kit Kat on my Moto X. Beta should be going out today | Monday, November 18, 2013 7:37:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking MTA can't even tell me what track my cocksucking train is on, so I have to stand in front of the board like an asshole | Monday, November 18, 2013 6:55:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The best reflux medicine is..... ???? | Saturday, November 16, 2013 10:45:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This gentleman makes a mean Tom Collins. Guy at my cousin's wedding made it like ass. | Saturday, November 16, 2013 10:07:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The salad and the cider | Saturday, November 16, 2013 10:59:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: If you're a girl and you chop your hair off you are dumb. Plain and simple. Long hair is ALWAYS better than short. | Friday, November 15, 2013 4:09:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pulled the recovery again. Hahahha. I'm such a weak ass. Aka I refuse to yak on the streets of Manhattan | Thursday, November 14, 2013 9:15:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sorry Edgar. I'm too white to rap Biggie at an Irish pub with sunglasses in front of an Asian | Thursday, November 14, 2013 8:52:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
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