9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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"I'm fuckin stellar as fuck" -@BadPointer Friday, March 21, 2014 12:06:30 AMTwitter for Android
The waiter flat out wants to bang Niraj. He's working it reallll good for discounts #RussianNight Thursday, March 20, 2014 11:18:37 PMTwitter for Android
"Is this half? We have full drinks in Italy" Thursday, March 20, 2014 10:53:14 PMTwitter for Android
"The waiter told me we weren't allowed to bring our own vodka. But it's okay. I told him he was good looking" -Niraj Thursday, March 20, 2014 10:22:43 PMTwitter for Android
Gio and I can't stop talking about balls Thursday, March 20, 2014 10:14:21 PMTwitter for Android
Director of Special Things Thursday, March 20, 2014 10:01:43 PMTwitter for Android
Are you into black girls @BadPointer Thursday, March 20, 2014 9:48:48 PMTwitter for Android
RT @chisoxbarstool: @BarstoolJJ Fuck the establishment bro! Thursday, March 20, 2014 5:08:56 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: Didn't fill out a single bracket and not a single fuck was given. Thursday, March 20, 2014 2:33:32 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Such a hipster, brah
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Wednesday, March 19, 2014 6:38:48 PMTwitter for Android
Yanks are winning the series this year, mark my words Tuesday, March 18, 2014 1:46:15 PMTwitter for Android
I just got a perfect score in #QuizUp! I'm obviously a true Zen Master! https://t.co/Xkhx4GqO3G http://t.co/RfKK1xRcdM Monday, March 17, 2014 9:57:30 PMTwitter for Android
Pat: "These Irish boys are just howlin' at the moon right now" Monday, March 17, 2014 9:31:39 PMTwitter for Android
Honestly, my gyro cart guy Mohammed is legit the nicest. Monday, March 17, 2014 7:45:12 PMTwitter for Android
Not pleased that there's someone with either tuberculosis or lung cancer on this plane. Someone quarantine this bitch! Sunday, March 16, 2014 2:50:51 PMTwitter for Android
Is bullshit. Why is this fuckin river not green. The fuck mon Saturday, March 15, 2014 4:33:02 PMTwitter for Android
I LOVE how cab in Chicago let you take like 9 people in one car. Would never fly in new York. Saturday, March 15, 2014 4:22:42 PMTwitter for Android
RT @chisoxbarstool: If I was married to a supermodel and some website pointed out how huge my son's hog was I'd be effin pumped Saturday, March 15, 2014 4:02:13 PMTwitter for Android
These sluts remind me of my cousin Saturday, March 15, 2014 3:59:56 PMTwitter for Android
Me three RT @chisoxbarstool Looking back I'm pretty positive I got roofied last night Saturday, March 15, 2014 3:26:50 PMTwitter for Android
My boy's visiting NYC next weekend. It's gonna be a faaaahhhkin disaster Saturday, March 15, 2014 2:59:56 PMTwitter for Android
I'm wasted Saturday, March 15, 2014 2:11:42 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure Matt McConaughey is at this party Saturday, March 15, 2014 1:57:42 PMTwitter for Android
Just pulled the recovery Saturday, March 15, 2014 1:55:21 PMTwitter for Android
I love Chicago. The natives fuck up vowels so hard it hurts Saturday, March 15, 2014 1:48:12 PMTwitter for Android
Bacon, eggs and Jameson Saturday, March 15, 2014 11:42:43 AMTwitter for Android
Booker loves the CAC http://t.co/NyORqHNxpK Saturday, March 15, 2014 9:58:43 AMTwitter for Android
It's 8:30 am and I'm going on a mimosa run. I need to reevaluate my life Saturday, March 15, 2014 9:38:44 AMTwitter for Android
I'm still drunk RT @BarstoolJJ My phone is covered in Fireball and @chisoxbarstool is on my couch. How's your life? Saturday, March 15, 2014 9:37:52 AMTwitter for Android
I may or may not have gotten drunk and wrote nasty shit about McGivern on the chalkboard in the bar bathroom Saturday, March 15, 2014 1:42:19 AMTwitter for Android
For real. Whoever farted in here, it wasn't me. I know I'm a flatulent motherfucker, but it wasn't me. Ya heard?! Saturday, March 15, 2014 12:15:46 AMTwitter for Android
FUCK McGivern
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, March 15, 2014 12:14:13 AMTwitter for Android
Fuck'em http://t.co/inLInICh6k Friday, March 14, 2014 11:33:45 PMTwitter for Android
Accidentally got drunk in Chicago. Capone sent me. Friday, March 14, 2014 11:21:27 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew Hay
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Friday, March 14, 2014 11:11:16 PMTwitter for Android
"You have the bladder of an infant" -sooozyq to Eric Friday, March 14, 2014 11:08:12 PMTwitter for Android
I might be wasted Friday, March 14, 2014 10:46:56 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Mal. You just ordered our 3rd pitcher of margs? Friday, March 14, 2014 10:44:28 PMTwitter for Android
I'm in Chicago during the wrong time period. I wanna hang with Johnny Torrio and Al Capone Friday, March 14, 2014 10:30:33 PMTwitter for Android
Did I just get roofied? Friday, March 14, 2014 10:27:39 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: My entire life I thought the Pearl Jam lyrics were "Jeremy's Spoken" not "Jeremy Spoke In." Just found out last nite #Bars Friday, March 14, 2014 2:16:28 PMTwitter for Android
"I have a thing for messes. I can rehabilitate them." *pause* "...With my dick." Friday, March 14, 2014 2:15:55 PMTwitter for Android
Just got this beer called "Yeast..?" Ummmmm probably not the best marketing name for it. Its iight Friday, March 14, 2014 1:46:10 PMTwitter for Android
Please explain to me how I, a grammar Nazi, lost a match on Quizzup in the grammar category to someone in fuckin India Friday, March 14, 2014 10:34:56 AMTwitter for Android
Ya don't need to post 9 tbt pics in a row, fuckfaces. Friday, March 14, 2014 1:37:03 AMTwitter for Android
If I don't get banned from a bar in Chi city, this weekend will be a failure Friday, March 14, 2014 12:20:02 AMTwitter for Android
This plane is the whitest. I also guess it snowed here... Leave it up to me to fly from no snow to snowinzn the winter. Thursday, March 13, 2014 11:44:46 PMTwitter for Android
Chi city bound for St. Paddy's. Disaster bound Thursday, March 13, 2014 9:10:35 PMTwitter for Android
I've informed the pilot not to turn off our plane's transponder. Thursday, March 13, 2014 9:09:50 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: Thank god for Thowback Thursday or i would have forgotten how much I hated you the first time you posted that picture. Thursday, March 13, 2014 8:19:44 PMTwitter for Android
McGivern: Shut your whore mouth Thursday, March 13, 2014 3:33:10 PMTwitter for Android
McGivern is the only dick standing in the way of my 3 day weekend Thursday, March 13, 2014 2:40:40 PMTwitter for Android
Tuesday morning booster: "Cat's outta the bag. We're gonna see the glory hole soon!" -@MalJNew http://t.co/qs6ckWLAKo Tuesday, March 11, 2014 9:15:23 AMTwitter for Android
Cuncel da release Tuesday, March 11, 2014 8:25:59 AMTwitter for Android
The chick in the Cohen's fashion optical ads is 100% dtf Sunday, March 09, 2014 7:10:57 PMTwitter for Android
My grandma hasn't stopped making fun of me since I walked in after I confused cucumbers and zucchini. Sunday, March 09, 2014 6:59:31 PMTwitter for Android
A la la la la long Sunday, March 09, 2014 4:37:00 PMTwitter for Android
I'm wasted Sunday, March 09, 2014 2:52:25 PMTwitter for Android
I think the entire black church showed up for brunch Sunday, March 09, 2014 2:40:14 PMTwitter for Android
Bro. We are all about that snack gsme Saturday, March 08, 2014 11:45:44 PMTwitter for Android
Omg I think I'm getting wasted Saturday, March 08, 2014 9:33:08 PMTwitter for Android
Super Nintendo Sega Genesis. When I was dead broke man I couldn't picture this. Saturday, March 08, 2014 9:25:43 PMTwitter for Android
Doing the power hour, then Colin's vday. Were fucked. Brunch tomorrow too Saturday, March 08, 2014 9:16:36 PMTwitter for Android
Lesson from Pat: "Strippers are so much better than your girlfriend" Friday, March 07, 2014 1:18:14 AMTwitter for Android
Why is there so much fuckin traffic on the 59th st bridge. Hopefully McGivern jumped off it Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:55:55 PMTwitter for Android
Let's go to the 11103 Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:32:03 PMTwitter for Android
I wanna fuck up a drum set and pretend it's cocksucker McGivern's sac Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:13:33 PMTwitter for Android
This band is fuckin awesome. I hate drinking and frat bars and I'm thoroughly enjoying this Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:13:05 PMTwitter for Android
Which one of you cocksuckers wanna get me a beer Thursday, March 06, 2014 10:12:41 PMTwitter for Android
I'm not joking about this band Thursday, March 06, 2014 9:51:41 PMTwitter for Android
This cover band is sick. Covering 90s rock. They're hired for my wedding. Whenever that may be. Thursday, March 06, 2014 9:41:01 PMTwitter for Android
This cocksucker motherfucker wants to mentor me? He can surely eat a bag of dicks. I wouldn't be like him if you paid me millions. Thursday, March 06, 2014 8:20:37 PMTwitter for Android
Whole making a jerking off motion, I just accidentally elbowed the waitress Thursday, March 06, 2014 7:39:28 PMTwitter for Android
This is some lightning storm I tell you... ⚡ ⚡ Wednesday, March 05, 2014 12:25:06 AMTwitter for Android
Betcha $20 this hood chick's name is Sharkesha. Tuesday, March 04, 2014 10:19:09 PMTwitter for Android
This fucking R train should pull out of Queens plaza instead of waiting for two fucking Es Tuesday, March 04, 2014 9:34:36 PMTwitter for Android
Yup. Had to have photo evidence of my last tweet. Sorry for the blurry. Zoomed to the max, creeper style http://t.co/uKCJrdHMzz Tuesday, March 04, 2014 8:44:46 PMTwitter for Android
Frank Romano is slaying pussy at this alumni event. Except... I'm sure he doesn't realize he's doing it. Tuesday, March 04, 2014 8:41:06 PMTwitter for Android
Awwwww. Alexey drew me a picture. Betcha @MalJNew is jealous http://t.co/UpFmXvouLf Tuesday, March 04, 2014 3:25:38 PMTwitter for Android
Walked in to work with a suit and tie. Stick out like a sore thumb. Got the worst look from McGivern. I hope he thinks I'm leaving. Tuesday, March 04, 2014 9:38:46 AMTwitter for Android
My balls are shriveling waiting for this late asses train. #MTA Tuesday, March 04, 2014 7:38:48 AMTwitter for Android
Welp, never did that before Monday, March 03, 2014 7:33:38 AMTwitter for Android
This bitch singing at the Oscars is God awful. Breathy as fuck Sunday, March 02, 2014 9:25:55 PMTwitter for Android
McGivern will be on my rollout call tonight. I just died a little inside. No one likes you, cunt muscle. Sunday, March 02, 2014 3:27:34 PMTwitter for Android
Finally off the phone withe these cunt motherfuckers Time Warner Saturday, March 01, 2014 8:47:43 PMTwitter for Android
WOW. Time Warner's automated system can't even recognize the fucking zip code. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:47:18 PMTwitter for Android
I'd rather shove a red hot rusty nail through my dick than to deal with this incompetent piece of shit company Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:42:05 PMTwitter for Android
Apparently, if you cancel Time Warner's shit service, they don't actually do it. Incompetent fucks. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:41:16 PMTwitter for Android
Even when Time Warner was installed that shit, it never worked. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:38:23 PMTwitter for Android
Time Warner is the worse fucking piece of shit company possible Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:35:57 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking Time Warner cocksuckers. We legit called to schedule an installation and we get an email that they canceled the installation. Saturday, March 01, 2014 7:35:39 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking foursquare is down Saturday, March 01, 2014 12:01:01 PMTwitter for Android
Had Mexican for lunch and dinner yesterday. Needless to say, this has been tweeted from the shitter. Saturday, March 01, 2014 10:20:22 AMTwitter for Android
The most epic niddhog battle between @SonicBlur23 and the Munz Saturday, March 01, 2014 12:58:44 AMTwitter for Android
I don't hate the fact that @MalJNew is currently in the mirror practicing the black girl booty twerk Friday, February 28, 2014 8:07:28 AMTwitter for Android
You don't even understand the number of dicks everyone here should suck right now. Thursday, February 27, 2014 5:41:21 PMTwitter for Android
This meeting is a screamfest Thursday, February 27, 2014 5:27:01 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio that was a good one!
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Thursday, February 27, 2014 2:27:50 PMTwitter for Android
Guy just walked into our building wearing a tshirt. Bro. Its like 18 degrees Thursday, February 27, 2014 2:24:56 PMTwitter for Android
Didn't even get in yet and this dumb bitch VP is all up my ass because his monitoring triggered 3 false alarms. Bitch, everyone disposes you Thursday, February 27, 2014 8:42:33 AMTwitter for Android
10° Standing on this platform because this piece of shit Metro North train is late again. #MTA Thursday, February 27, 2014 8:07:36 AMTwitter for Android
My express to Scarsdale had to stop at 125th St to "reset something for a minute" 5 minutes ago... Still stopped. #FuckingMTA Wednesday, February 26, 2014 7:14:37 PMTwitter for Android
RT @DadBoner: Said, "If I catch a case of the backdoor explosions, I'll be comin' back here to erupt on your car and/or store floor, cornco… Tuesday, February 25, 2014 9:04:47 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: Its been a long ass day http://t.co/ondGYA1gHX Tuesday, February 25, 2014 8:24:15 PMTwitter for Android
I feel like if you ever end up taking a shit at a Brother Jimmy's, you've hit rock bottom. Monday, February 24, 2014 11:23:37 PMTwitter for Android
All the cabs are coming by the garden because the Knicks were expected to lose. Monday, February 24, 2014 9:40:08 PMTwitter for Android
Happy Monday! Start your workweek right with late MTA Metro North trains. Pieces of shit. Monday, February 24, 2014 8:08:21 AMTwitter for Android
Broken Bells. Shit. 👍👌 Sunday, February 23, 2014 1:01:40 AMTwitter for Android
"It's a natural pocket" Saturday, February 22, 2014 2:54:46 PMTwitter for Android
My discernment is correct. This is a freak. She's now talking about how she stores her weed in her vagina Saturday, February 22, 2014 2:51:07 PMTwitter for Android
These bitches are LOUD Saturday, February 22, 2014 2:35:46 PMTwitter for Android
Saturday, February 22, 2014 3:07:17 AMTwitter for Android
@ky9 lemmie know what drugs you're on kthx
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, February 21, 2014 11:22:33 PMTwitter for Android
Don't let the bastards get you down Friday, February 21, 2014 9:50:48 PMTwitter for Android
You have a Yuengling on your boob Friday, February 21, 2014 9:48:42 PMTwitter for Android
Ran into @JenSelter's ass doppelganger on the subway. The struggle was real to look away with @MalJNew next to me. Friday, February 21, 2014 7:14:21 PMTwitter for Android
The GF got me a massage. Booked me with a dude. Man hands. Reminds me of Johnny Drama.... Thursday, February 20, 2014 7:02:32 PMTwitter for Android
.@XtinaSchelin Upgrading this release from red hot dumpster fire to yellow hot dumpster fire.
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Wednesday, February 19, 2014 7:19:45 PMTwitter for Android
Just watched the Ride Along trailer. Blackest movie of all time. It'll be on the CW in a couple years Tuesday, February 18, 2014 11:46:09 AMTwitter for Android
Peep! 🐣🐤🐥🐦 Monday, February 17, 2014 1:52:15 PMTwitter for Android
Finny Tinkins Monday, February 17, 2014 1:05:42 PMTwitter for Android
@cuddleclouds Goldsmith? Hhhhh
In reply to @cuddleclouds's tweet
Sunday, February 16, 2014 7:21:00 PMTwitter for Android
Wild Wild West. Jim West, desperado, rough rider. No you don't want nada Sunday, February 16, 2014 5:54:46 PMTwitter for Android
.@RockNationRadio stop being a pussy anf draw a dick on a cop car. What are they gonna do, arrest you for being awesome?
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:57:48 PMTwitter for Android
Just woke up confused and on a bus somehow Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:54:25 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio I'll give you $20 to do that to McGivern's car
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:44:50 PMTwitter for Android
I triple dog dare you to draw a dick in the snow on that cop car Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:39:39 PMTwitter for Android
I'm at brunch with a gay who is now writing a song about eating pussy. My life is excellent. Sunday, February 16, 2014 4:07:23 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously. Everything this fucking McGivern does goes against everything they taught at DSB. This is why I cannot respect him. Sunday, February 16, 2014 3:17:10 PMTwitter for Android
If McGivern, the guy who values family and not working all weekend expects me to help with this release, he can surely eat a dick. Sunday, February 16, 2014 2:47:15 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously tho. These curling girls aren't ugly Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:42:50 AMTwitter for Android
A gay: "The curling girls are hot. Why are they so hot?" Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:31:51 AMTwitter for Android
There's no way curling is a real sport.... No way whatsoever Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:31:23 AMTwitter for Android
Curling: Canada has a tomato and Russia has two yellow things. Wtf is this Sunday, February 16, 2014 12:26:04 AMTwitter for Android
I am at the bar and just butt dialed my director of engineering for 3 minutes straight. #yolo Saturday, February 15, 2014 11:26:56 PMTwitter for Android
"Should I get a facial on my ass?" -Mokey Saturday, February 15, 2014 9:36:07 PMTwitter for Android
I want a cheeseburger Saturday, February 15, 2014 8:14:42 PMTwitter for Android
If I get drunk enough. I'm sexting Daniel Jeans Saturday, February 15, 2014 7:57:31 PMTwitter for Android
I feel like a good time right now Saturday, February 15, 2014 7:52:35 PMTwitter for Android
Jeopardy is the shit @KFCBarstool Saturday, February 15, 2014 7:11:38 PMTwitter for Android
If you fall onto the train tracks, you're a dumb motherfucker... Nuff said. Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:50:40 PMTwitter for Android
What's worse? Al Quaeda or the Westboro Baptist Church? I'd go with Westboro... Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:48:40 PMTwitter for Android
♬Cuz I want it all. Or nothing at all ♬ Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:25:27 PMTwitter for Android
♬ BECAUSE YOU WANT IT ALL. YOU'RE NOIIIITHING AT ALL. ♬ Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:15:50 PMTwitter for Android
I got tipsy without thinking I would... Saturday, February 15, 2014 6:06:35 PMTwitter for Android
After finishing a bottle of Jameson, this hotel wine and cheese hour is baller Saturday, February 15, 2014 5:46:24 PMTwitter for Android
The piece of shit 4/5 isn't running Wednesday, February 12, 2014 7:04:46 PMTwitter for Android
I'm on a one way trip to Struggle City Tuesday, February 11, 2014 8:13:14 PMTwitter for Android
There's a 100% chance this Russian is not naïve. No one can accidentally be that overtly sexual. Its not the language barrier. Monday, February 10, 2014 11:13:03 PMTwitter for Android
I hope whoever is responsible for these delays gets electrocuted on the third rail or run over by a train; whichever is slower/more painful Monday, February 10, 2014 6:46:04 PMTwitter for Android
Obviously on the worst days when you just want to get home, all subways run like dick Monday, February 10, 2014 6:38:10 PMTwitter for Android
I sat in meetings all day today. Monday, February 10, 2014 5:48:09 PMTwitter for Android
Subway's a fucking disaster at Grand Central Monday, February 10, 2014 9:00:15 AMTwitter for Android
Train showed up on time today. Is this real life? Monday, February 10, 2014 8:06:58 AMTwitter for Android
Some old fuck at the train station said Ringo didn't age well. Guy is delusional and probably 50 going on 80 Monday, February 10, 2014 8:02:49 AMTwitter for Android
I'm still burping up vodka red bull from Saturday. Monday, February 10, 2014 1:43:52 AMTwitter for Android
Look at this fucking baller. Dave just straight out runs up to Ringo on drums and sings with him. Hdhshahvsvxhwhzv http://t.co/skT31rk3T9 Sunday, February 09, 2014 10:29:29 PMTwitter for Android
Dave Grohl. Come at me. Sunday, February 09, 2014 9:39:39 PMTwitter for Android
Omg Dave Grohl. Sunday, February 09, 2014 9:03:48 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio Agreed
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Sunday, February 09, 2014 8:51:07 PMTwitter for Android
This Pink Floyd is fantastic right about now. Sunday, February 09, 2014 6:54:59 PMTwitter for Android
The chick in Avicii's music video is a smokeshow Saturday, February 08, 2014 8:42:15 PMTwitter for Android
I think I accidentally screamed about how Pink would be hotter with long hair. At a gay bar. In front of two lezbos with short hair. Oops Saturday, February 08, 2014 7:42:33 PMTwitter for Android
There's no way this white chick is gonna win a track and field race. Kenyans son. Saturday, February 08, 2014 5:12:45 PMTwitter for Android
♪ I need some action.
Tender satisfaction ♪ 
Saturday, February 08, 2014 4:30:02 PMTwitter for Android
I'd 100% be down for a late 90s/early 2000s R&B party right now. Saturday, February 08, 2014 4:22:24 PMTwitter for Android
Guantanamera! Saturday, February 08, 2014 3:51:26 PMTwitter for Android
Just woke up. Gotta have a bloody Mary to straighten myself out Saturday, February 08, 2014 2:56:35 PMTwitter for Android
Yep. Trains are late again. They're late 100% of the time I take them Thursday, February 06, 2014 8:04:25 AMTwitter for Android
This fucking moron is Kwabi 2.0. Can't even get Skype to work in the conference room. cc: @BadPointer Tuesday, February 04, 2014 1:05:45 PMTwitter for Android
Yo. It was totes like 50 yesterday. Where'd this blizzard come from? Monday, February 03, 2014 8:25:47 AMTwitter for Android
"My meatball intake is on the high" Sunday, February 02, 2014 7:55:43 PMTwitter for Android
Gf basically fingerblasted herself during the David Beckham commercial. Sunday, February 02, 2014 7:44:55 PMTwitter for Android
.12 What's the over/under Joe Namath's BAC right now. DAT fur coat... Bro. It's like 50 out Sunday, February 02, 2014 6:30:08 PMTwitter for Android
Wait a sec... I did something funky with a double negative. Long story short, I'm wearing army pants tonight
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, February 02, 2014 2:25:18 PMTwitter for Android
If you don't think I won't be rocking these army pants to the Super Bowl Celebraish later, you're surely mistaken. Sunday, February 02, 2014 2:02:52 PMTwitter for Android
Broken Bella tho Saturday, February 01, 2014 11:43:55 AMTwitter for Android
I'm a sleepy puppy Saturday, February 01, 2014 12:10:48 AMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: Cuncel Da Christie? http://t.co/qPuEcTFi3T Friday, January 31, 2014 11:50:03 PMTwitter for Android
Snoop Dogg (lion?) in the house tonight with my homeboy JD Friday, January 31, 2014 10:26:00 PMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure one of my engineers is putting it in the HR chick's ass. Friday, January 31, 2014 10:19:52 PMTwitter for Android
Aniusha grabbed Mal's boobs. Insanely jealous. Friday, January 31, 2014 10:18:41 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck McGivern!!! Friday, January 31, 2014 10:16:16 PMTwitter for Android
@cuddleclouds fuck off Lennon
In reply to @cuddleclouds's tweet
Friday, January 31, 2014 10:15:22 PMTwitter for Android
Aniusha is dancing on the table. You know the shits goin down Friday, January 31, 2014 10:06:40 PMTwitter for Android
Sam is all about the smokes Friday, January 31, 2014 9:29:53 PMTwitter for Android
Colin. SHUT THE FUCK UP Friday, January 31, 2014 4:10:29 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito it's pretty good dude
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Friday, January 31, 2014 12:51:29 PMTwitter for Android
Idk how I'm gonna get through this day without punching someone in the face Friday, January 31, 2014 12:47:43 PMTwitter for Android
Wearing one of those kiddie lion hats. #IDGAF Friday, January 31, 2014 8:51:05 AMTwitter for Android
Fucking train is late again. This piece of shit MTA Friday, January 31, 2014 8:06:35 AMTwitter for Android
This meandering mother fucker needs to walk in a straight line so I can pass his slow ass. Thursday, January 30, 2014 7:11:29 PMTwitter for Android
I sit in the middle if Gabe and Colin. The combination of these two and their nonstop chatter makes me want to take a shit Thursday, January 30, 2014 4:30:37 PMTwitter for Android
Oh shit. My review's tomorrow. Going in with a mustache. If they fire a guy with a mustache, that'd be hysterical Wednesday, January 29, 2014 11:07:29 PMTwitter for Android
Mad question askin' Wednesday, January 29, 2014 10:46:57 PMTwitter for Android
Nate is 23? Fuckin prime. Dude. Rake in as much pussy as you can get and enjoyyy right now Wednesday, January 29, 2014 9:14:00 PMTwitter for Android
Yo I think that StagCard guy Mike Tortora is at the bar. Dafuq. #Fairfield #GoStags Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:54:58 PMTwitter for Android
Phantom Planet's California just came on. Makes me wanna shotgun a brewsky Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:48:03 PMTwitter for Android
Dat fur coat #CeeLo Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:35:13 PMTwitter for Android
They say redheads make the best passwords Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:09:52 PMTwitter for Android
"Dude. Bob Marley is where it's at" Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:08:38 PMTwitter for Android
Ben and Jerry's yo Monday, January 27, 2014 9:37:17 PMTwitter for Android
@AP Good. I'm sick of motherfuckers getting free handouts and I have to pay through the nose for everything
In reply to @AP's tweet
Monday, January 27, 2014 6:56:20 PMTwitter for Android
Fucking MTA Monday, January 27, 2014 6:54:54 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu for sure not. A washed up suit reads a list three times per week. Means nothing to me.
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, January 27, 2014 10:48:07 AMTwitter for Android
This meeting sucks a dick Monday, January 27, 2014 10:34:36 AMTwitter for Android
Cannot wait until March where I don't have to ride this shitty failroad every day Monday, January 27, 2014 8:49:40 AMTwitter for Android
MY 8:00 TRAIN JUST SHOWED UP. Why do I pay these incompetents? #MTA #MetroNorth Monday, January 27, 2014 8:14:48 AMTwitter for Android
Tonight's episode of Girls was 100% boring and an utter pile of shit. Monday, January 27, 2014 2:09:12 AMTwitter for Android
Bang bang. David on the drums Sunday, January 26, 2014 11:41:16 PMTwitter for Android
Is Madonna real? She looks fake. Sunday, January 26, 2014 11:13:28 PMTwitter for Android
Steven Tyler is ugly as fuck Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:57:33 PMTwitter for Android
Hetfield is all gray and clean shaven? The fuck Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:54:12 PMTwitter for Android
Is it me or does Lorde look like she's going to have a seizure at any given moment? Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:43:58 PMTwitter for Android
I guess I really do do the Stevie Wonder head thing when I'm blackout and singing. I call it Stevie Wondering Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:31:08 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: No wait I SERIOUSLY thought Willie Nelson was dead. Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:19:48 PMTwitter for Android
Didn't yack. Great success! Sunday, January 26, 2014 11:15:40 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin wasted at the German restaurant and ordered some fat sausage for my fat face. Sunday, January 26, 2014 1:33:07 AMTwitter for Android
@portfolioso
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:50:52 AMTwitter for Android
The POS in this bar is running on Windows XP. For fucks sake. It's 2014, not 2002 Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:48:57 AMTwitter for Android
I'm wasted Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:42:15 AMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure I was just driven by a milNOTf with BAC of .20 Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:30:43 AMTwitter for Android
"Jesus Mary on the Christ" Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:27:30 AMTwitter for Android
The driver "You're such a fuckin pussy bitch" Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:23:27 AMTwitter for Android
Pretty sure a mother I wouldn't like to fuck is diving us Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:20:18 AMTwitter for Android
Christ. If a cop pulls us over, we're fucked Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:18:25 AMTwitter for Android
Went to close my tab. Bar said I owed nothing. Said I had three drinks for karma but like 4 peeps drank on my tab. Enjoyyyyy Sunday, January 26, 2014 12:13:42 AMTwitter for Android
Please explain how I shattered a glass while I was drinking it and didn't notice Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:35:17 PMTwitter for Android
I read some people's Twitters and they're so sad... I'm so grateful for everything. Also shouts to gma. I'm in her old hood. Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:19:55 PMTwitter for Android
Honest to God. This is more fun than I ever had at the Grape with the exception of the night of graduation Saturday, January 25, 2014 11:17:42 PMTwitter for Android
I'd probably pay $100 for a Johnny-fuck-me-up right now. Would get me wasted @MalJNew Saturday, January 25, 2014 10:54:28 PMTwitter for Android
Wait a sec. Are the girls naked in Robin Thicke's blurred lines video, or is it just because I'm at a gay bar and its acceptable? Saturday, January 25, 2014 9:58:45 PMTwitter for Android
I love the aunties! Saturday, January 25, 2014 9:53:23 PMTwitter for Android
Only for tabco use http://t.co/ks53qwWnow Saturday, January 25, 2014 8:29:32 PMTwitter for Android
@MichaelShatin: "Savage Garden is playing at my wedding" Saturday, January 25, 2014 8:03:51 PMTwitter for Android
Savage Garden is on? Haven't heard that since the 90s. I'm getting hammered tonight Saturday, January 25, 2014 8:02:15 PMTwitter for Android
Good thing the gf is cool. Found out I follow @JenSelter on my other twitter account and was like... I saw asses everywhere Saturday, January 25, 2014 7:35:20 PMTwitter for Android
Bartenders story about playing the bongos on a chicks ass completely blackout almost made me piss myself Saturday, January 25, 2014 7:23:57 PMTwitter for Android
These Dillenger wings. I might cum Saturday, January 25, 2014 6:46:46 PMTwitter for Android
Me: "It's 20°F right now."
Pops: "Yeah, they said it was going to roast today"
Saturday, January 25, 2014 9:03:13 AMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam too busy doing radio to blog
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Friday, January 24, 2014 7:23:14 PMTwitter for Android
Possible Super Bowl date change because of the weather? Fucking pussies. This country has gone soft Friday, January 24, 2014 7:08:04 PMTwitter for Android
Why is this cocksucker metro north train stopped. Go you piece of shit Friday, January 24, 2014 6:46:49 PMTwitter for Android
Its cool though. I turned it around. If not I'd drop dead of a heart attack at 35 Thursday, January 23, 2014 9:19:29 PMTwitter for Android
Its like 12 out and I've been walking for 20 mins. No hat. No gloves. Not even cold. Fuckin psycho Thursday, January 23, 2014 9:12:34 PMTwitter for Android
And FUCK the fucking MTA http://t.co/9mN7A2Iqbb Thursday, January 23, 2014 9:02:29 PMTwitter for Android
I feel like all I do in this god forsaken city is stand in ducking crowds on fucking trains. New York sucks Thursday, January 23, 2014 8:59:59 PMTwitter for Android
The MTA took 30 years off my life Thursday, January 23, 2014 8:51:32 PMTwitter for Android
Okay, @maljnew stole my tablet and tweeted that. Although I cannot confirm nor deny the last statement Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:54:42 AMTwitter for Android
One time I pooped my pants. Man it was so cool. Thursday, January 23, 2014 12:49:37 AMTwitter for Android

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