9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Fuck. Drunk texted my boss today... | Sunday, May 18, 2014 1:44:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @dannyrob88 fuck you bro. Lolololo In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, May 18, 2014 1:24:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm asleep and its 9pm whack #ICantHang hijacked by @dannyrob88 ha @Waspito http://t.co/IubNpLaDmh | Saturday, May 17, 2014 9:01:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I drank way too much and I still have a headband in that's purple. | Saturday, May 17, 2014 3:28:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Eheyyy Joe Vinny Chris Y Tom | Saturday, May 17, 2014 3:08:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm in a room full of guineas and the Italian slag going on is cracking me up. | Saturday, May 17, 2014 3:03:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If you're Italian, you call your mother, Ma, right? I mean heyyyyyy ohhhh! | Saturday, May 17, 2014 3:00:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm now fucked up | Saturday, May 17, 2014 2:54:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit. We just did a lit of fireball | Saturday, May 17, 2014 2:37:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Broken bar glass #1 of the day. Live errr day like it's your last | Saturday, May 17, 2014 2:12:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Nurrrrrseeeeeee. Bring me.more.mimosas | Saturday, May 17, 2014 1:28:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "We were talking about blowing up hymens. Get on our level" -@MalJNew | Saturday, May 17, 2014 1:24:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You're jelly of my fly headband selfie. PS o hay accidental smokeshow in the background.... http://t.co/Y2zzohBgj3 | Saturday, May 17, 2014 1:11:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Thus guy is aweeeeesomeeee dudee | Saturday, May 17, 2014 1:08:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Every time my phone goes off, I expect @__JLu to be favoriting one of my tweets, but it is an alert about how our reporting is down #die | Friday, May 16, 2014 11:57:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Drinkin Bud Light bottles. Tastes like the Grape, but cheaper | Friday, May 16, 2014 11:46:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Kevin's friend is playing ass twerkin videos all night and the gf is like: I approve of this http://t.co/L0ymJxkgDJ | Friday, May 16, 2014 11:37:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @portfolioso *Lil Jon. Autocorrect som In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, May 16, 2014 11:36:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bubble Butt.. This is some beyond twerking shit | Friday, May 16, 2014 11:35:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just watched the music video of Turn Down for What by DJ Snake and Lil John. DAFUQ | Friday, May 16, 2014 11:30:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our shit has been down all night and look at all the fucks I give. Maybe it'll give McGivern a heart attack. | Friday, May 16, 2014 10:39:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Will you crackers on call fix the reporting cluster so I stop getting alerts while I'm trying to get shitfaced on Friday night? Please and thx | Friday, May 16, 2014 9:28:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why is it that the only people who go through your recycling for bottle deposits are middle aged Asian women? | Friday, May 16, 2014 7:49:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Touche, @KFCBarstool , touche. Sounds like a blast... http://t.co/x0CObWa1EC | Friday, May 16, 2014 7:04:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This old bitch is watching loud videos on her phone. Shut the fuck up | Friday, May 16, 2014 6:56:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| No seats and the door to the car with like 3, people in it is locked. These mother fuckers #MTA | Friday, May 16, 2014 6:47:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If this train was on time and not 8 minutes late, I wouldn't have gotten caught in the rain. #MTA #die | Friday, May 16, 2014 6:43:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| .@DRob30 is my dude | Thursday, May 15, 2014 10:17:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If your family brings three fucking bikes into the subway at rush hour, you all deserve the worst | Thursday, May 15, 2014 6:26:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Tanaka is the only competent pitcher on this entire team | Wednesday, May 14, 2014 10:13:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Tanaka with the base hit. Digging it | Wednesday, May 14, 2014 9:58:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get a load of this piece of shit Yankee team | Tuesday, May 13, 2014 8:40:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Nuno you fuckin amateur hour. If my team wasn't the fuckin hospital team, maybe we wouldn't suck balls and lose to los mets | Tuesday, May 13, 2014 8:14:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Old man Jeter can't get the job done | Tuesday, May 13, 2014 8:05:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 I've seen a woman use a stroller with the kid in it to hold the door open. I was rooting for Darwinism. Sadly, all parties lived In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Tuesday, May 13, 2014 7:38:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: Serious question...will the Yankees ever beat the Mets again? Ever? | Monday, May 12, 2014 11:36:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Do not fuck with mama geese. Biddies are batshit crazy. Almost attacked me going 20 on my bike. Not hurting your kids bro, chill | Monday, May 12, 2014 2:53:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: "KFC you're such a negative fucking person" - @stoolpresidente. Another gem of a Rundown coming your way later today | Monday, May 12, 2014 2:52:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu been around a while. Very useful! | Monday, May 12, 2014 2:02:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Café Patron and greens (salad if you're too stupid to believe that) | Sunday, May 11, 2014 2:03:56 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean... ATC's All Around The World is fuckin fantastic right now. #2000 | Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:52:14 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm drink or something | Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:28:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Beatsie boys are on. Reminds me of the co founder COO we fired like assholes because he was the shit and now they should crash and burn | Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:18:18 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Just belted Sex and Candy. Neighbors may not be pleased | Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:16:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "Black as the ace of spades" anyone else have a racist family? | Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:14:19 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Always awkward when the twin towers show up in 90s videos | Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:10:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| #titanic | Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:07:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| 🎵and you know thatch my heart will go on 🎵 so 90s was in 4th grade | Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:06:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The girls are watching empowering 90s pop videos. My question is that why does Celene Dion say "thatch" in my heart will go on? | Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:06:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| 🎵Don't go chasing waterfalls🎵 | Sunday, May 11, 2014 1:01:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 lol mets | Sunday, May 11, 2014 12:28:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted | Sunday, May 11, 2014 12:28:01 AM | Twitter for Android |
| As a physics geek, I can't stop making this wine glass sing. The guests are getting annoyed. Might be too tips to care... | Saturday, May 10, 2014 11:52:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Had a bottle of wine and am now deeply enjoying Pearl Jam's Ten on the roof | Saturday, May 10, 2014 11:03:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm so proud of my @MalJNew. Hosting dinner two nights in a row and killing it! | Saturday, May 10, 2014 10:06:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ariana Grande. Come at me | Saturday, May 10, 2014 9:29:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Emma Stone. Come at me. | Saturday, May 10, 2014 9:23:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I can go for a McChicken right now. Can I get that shit on seamless stat? | Friday, May 09, 2014 1:31:12 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Ah. I see our CTO is still here. He's suckling Kelly's dick right now | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:35:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm sorry but allowing a short hand goal while YOU have a power play is not how you win hockey games | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:18:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Live tweet I g the company Siete de mayo party. How to get fired | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:07:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If my boss wasn't gay, this support manager Ashling would tie him down and bang him so hard.... Guaranteed | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:07:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This bitch wearing three watches is a weirdo | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:04:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This is a snubbull. Or Gabe's gf. Or Philly meg http://t.co/ibTFSwmMCS | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:01:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'd also like to point out that Wagner let herself go. Funny how people still think she's hot because they should've seen her in 2010 | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 8:59:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu I played Gold in 6th grade so I know some up to 250, but not many of them | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 8:31:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: On a hump day bitchface? http://t.co/NjxZyCtpZ9 | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 8:23:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| No offense because I'm sure she's a nice girl, but Gabe's girlfriend looks like that Pokémon Snubbull | Wednesday, May 07, 2014 8:23:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This meeting is horseshit | Tuesday, May 06, 2014 1:25:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our systems such a piece of shit, I have a buddy on support that just renames un deletable services to z do not book | Monday, May 05, 2014 11:26:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| z_Do_Not_Book | Monday, May 05, 2014 11:25:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu lemmie call Bob Johnson. He'll outbid that bastard. | Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:43:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu no worries abusers... I have the same inability to code. But b/c we're baller tech mob bosses, we know it all so it doesn't matter. | Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:36:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| But I appreesh, bro | Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:28:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What's the over/under @__JLu has a python script to auto favorite my tweets? Not even possible how quickly they're read and favorited. | Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:28:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pls explain how I just shit out corn kernels I ate 4 hours ago... | Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:25:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hipsters with iPhones are bullshit because if they didn't conform with society, they'd have a phone no one else the fuck has. So blow me. | Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:13:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What pisses me off is fuckin hipsters with iPhones. iPhones are mainstream. This is the shit that isn't: http://t.co/IWKNRSi5fq | Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:12:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Waspito @mich_amore if he only kills bad guys, I approve. | Sunday, May 04, 2014 11:05:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: This sauce I'm cooking is coming along lovely. | Sunday, May 04, 2014 6:19:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There's this PERFECT yellow lab here that ima steal | Sunday, May 04, 2014 5:59:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This gentleman has got some fantastic facial hair going. http://t.co/M365rEXkje | Sunday, May 04, 2014 5:51:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 Good person ;) In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, May 04, 2014 5:10:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 Drunk typo fail | Sunday, May 04, 2014 5:09:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 nah son. I have moles that reywery stuffs | Sunday, May 04, 2014 5:08:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| .@MrMet @Wally97 fuck you hos. Mets and sox are my all time hated teams. | Sunday, May 04, 2014 4:23:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @BarstoolJJ: You don't win games giving up inside the park home runs | Sunday, May 04, 2014 2:29:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @dannyrob88 Fuck the rays jackass In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet | Sunday, May 04, 2014 2:29:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh and if the FBI sees my last tweet, before you arrest me, I just meant I'm farting a lot assholes | Saturday, May 03, 2014 10:17:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Generating enough methane gas to blow up Queens | Saturday, May 03, 2014 10:16:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| General A Rod is on steroids... | Saturday, May 03, 2014 6:21:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: Do not use beer bottles as drumsticks. Doesn't turn out well. | Saturday, May 03, 2014 6:01:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why is Jamie Foxx glistening? | Saturday, May 03, 2014 5:16:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "My mouth is sore from making a vagina face" -@MichaelShatin | Saturday, May 03, 2014 3:56:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I got my grandpa's meat" -@MalJNew | Saturday, May 03, 2014 3:46:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Helen Keller wouldn't have prescription sunglasses, Joes. Unless it was a prescription for sight" -@MichaelShatin | Saturday, May 03, 2014 3:23:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @beardobarstool: Lots of pale legs with bruises all over them what have you girls been doing all winter | Saturday, May 03, 2014 2:41:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Free mint juleps for Derby Day, a la my dude bartender. | Saturday, May 03, 2014 2:15:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Do I have enough souvenir cups? http://t.co/ZSkHwvmshr | Friday, May 02, 2014 11:04:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bald Vinny just retweeted my public twitter acct tweet. I am honored | Friday, May 02, 2014 5:06:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Remix to Ignition to pregame the Yankees. Fuckers | Friday, May 02, 2014 3:25:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Drankin all day watchin 90s and 2000s rap/R&B vids before we chill with @baldvinny in 203 later | Friday, May 02, 2014 3:20:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| In Newwwwww Yorkkkkkj. Concrete jungle where all our trains deraiiiilllll | Friday, May 02, 2014 11:54:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 because Fairfield gets cheap no name assholes for concerts. In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 11:08:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ima sneak this bud light outta the bar, you guys | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 10:35:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They didn't call me Joe Spanky in college for nothin' you guys | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 10:34:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The owner of this bar reminds me of that dude from Aqua Teen Hunger Force with the hairy back | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 10:04:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit. Am I on call tonight? | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:54:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get a load a this old fuck at bikini bar. Guys like bald and 65 mackin it on the bikini bartenders | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:53:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This bikini bartender is what you call a "thick girl" | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:49:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Stop smoking fuckin cigarettes @MalJNew | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 9:29:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Best. Photobomb. Ever. http://t.co/lwIu8XtLfx | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 8:58:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This motherfucker is on call if the system shits the bed and will be going to bikini bar next. | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 8:51:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck the fuckin Flyers. I hate Philly. And Philly Meg | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 8:40:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sorry Mals, but based on Emma Stone's Tonight Show appearance, I must cheat on you with her. | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 12:10:14 AM | Twitter for Android Tablets |
| All corruption.... | Saturday, April 26, 2014 9:20:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dave Robertson is my homeslice | Saturday, April 26, 2014 4:14:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Having a religious experience via root beer float with @MalJNew | Saturday, April 26, 2014 1:53:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, if the toilet is clogged at work, wasn't me maybe | Friday, April 25, 2014 11:54:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| And furthermore Susan, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if... | Friday, April 25, 2014 10:32:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pistol grip pump in my lap at all times | Friday, April 25, 2014 10:08:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bitches http://t.co/JjSTFAd09g | Friday, April 25, 2014 8:46:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Edgar is fly as fuck right now http://t.co/efFZUWj5v3 | Friday, April 25, 2014 8:38:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| So if your gf has the hots for another girl, a threesome is acceptable, right? | Friday, April 25, 2014 7:56:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hobbs is trying to fuck Renninger. Guaranteed. | Friday, April 25, 2014 7:53:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It smells like menthol cigarettes and Chinese food | Friday, April 25, 2014 3:16:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 worse than the MTA | Friday, April 25, 2014 3:08:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our regular bartender just gave me a Jolly Rancher before I went back to the office. You know, so I don't reek of booze. | Friday, April 25, 2014 2:59:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @portfolioso I lost In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, April 24, 2014 8:18:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Beyond #mailtime at work today. Aka went to NY Tech Day for hours to talk to other companies. | Thursday, April 24, 2014 4:11:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cue the Pine-da headline in the NY Post tomorrow | Wednesday, April 23, 2014 9:08:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Come on Jeets. Don't be useless | Wednesday, April 23, 2014 9:07:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel da yankees | Wednesday, April 23, 2014 7:53:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This fuckin guy has pine tar on his hand? Jesus fuckin christ | Wednesday, April 23, 2014 7:52:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I went to an Alanis Morisette concert in the height of my grunge days!" -@MalJNew ¿WUT? | Wednesday, April 23, 2014 2:28:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Waspito I was at a recruiting event and they're hiring entry level customer support. Check it | Wednesday, April 23, 2014 9:34:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I think if I did work in a morgue, I'd be able to have more coherent convos with dead fucking bodies. | Monday, April 21, 2014 5:33:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How the fuck am I supposed to understand what he's saying all the time. He's like an Asian cave man. Grunting and speaking 2 word sentences. | Monday, April 21, 2014 5:32:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I don't think you actually understand what its like to work with this dude Tun Tun. Guys nice but FUCK. Would rather work in a morgue. | Monday, April 21, 2014 5:31:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Waspito Linkin Park's last two albums suck balls | Monday, April 21, 2014 5:26:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Can anyone tell me what Nelly meant by an "L" in his song ride wit me. I mean I know its some kind of weed but I don't get the abbreviation | Saturday, April 19, 2014 11:01:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| So if I ever say "woman make me a sandwich" its not because I'm a sexistnpig. Its because I'm an inferior chef and you'd make it better | Thursday, April 17, 2014 10:42:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel my chef career | Thursday, April 17, 2014 10:39:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| suck at making burgers on the foreman. If you want a burger, I won't make it for you because mine suck. They are dry, unflavored and uneven. | Thursday, April 17, 2014 10:37:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| A chip off the old block. Like my pops, I don't take criticism well... At all. | Thursday, April 17, 2014 10:33:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Carly and @MalJNew talking about/playing with their boobs made me a little tingly. Had to walk away | Thursday, April 17, 2014 7:42:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Accidentally got tipsy at lunch | Thursday, April 17, 2014 2:38:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @XtinaSchelin I'm not. I throw bows In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet | Thursday, April 17, 2014 2:26:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I need to get myself a Yankee friend girlfriend. FAN. I meant fan." -me | Thursday, April 17, 2014 2:21:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Was gonna go to the strip club tomorrow at lunch, but then remembered it's Good Friday. Don't think Jesus would be too kosher with that... | Thursday, April 17, 2014 2:01:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mohammed: "My long grain basmati rice is best in world. Is from Afghanistan" | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 9:44:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Trabajar y mejorar, y cura tu cabesa | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 8:38:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If the Yankees don't sweep the Cubs, I I'm going to cuncel them. | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 8:09:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @chisoxbarstool: Lol cubs | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 8:08:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The Cubs are SO bad... They're like me in little league. | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 8:04:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm at the bar. This is a fuckin sausagefest assed ladies night... | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 7:40:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The entire subway system is useless. I've gotten screwed 3 times this am | Wednesday, April 16, 2014 9:27:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Its fucking cloudy. Wanted to see the lunar eclipse tonight | Monday, April 14, 2014 9:52:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I've got a sweatshirt and sweatpants in. And dress shoes. And I'm on the train. Idgaf | Monday, April 14, 2014 8:40:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Getting eaten alive out here. This cold snowy winter was supposed to kill off some mosquitoes? For sure not. | Monday, April 14, 2014 7:12:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Rotinaj94 wsssse@gwwwrabees40 @thereallisaann see original message email of messaged In reply to @Rotinaj94's tweet | Monday, April 14, 2014 6:17:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I've been home two days. Ready to move out again. | Monday, April 14, 2014 6:15:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I've been informed that last night, I sang "Smoke Two Joints" in Spanish. Excessively. | Sunday, April 13, 2014 8:30:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck. My bar tab was like two bills | Sunday, April 13, 2014 7:43:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin a. Whenever I go to the rover, I black out. I now have a raging hangover and it's 3:45am | Sunday, April 13, 2014 3:45:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dos leños por la manana, dos lenos al anochecer | Saturday, April 12, 2014 10:28:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| En el otro lado es donde vivi. Con me hijta que se llama Mixie | Saturday, April 12, 2014 8:49:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted | Saturday, April 12, 2014 8:35:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| That's why we drink Tanqueray, so I can reminisce | Saturday, April 12, 2014 6:36:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They had to hold me back because I kept wanting g to photo bomb the news | Saturday, April 12, 2014 6:09:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just accidentally walked into that crime scene in Astoria where some 86 yr old killed his daughter and dog. I mean come on. Who kills a dog? | Saturday, April 12, 2014 6:07:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yep. Booze is kicking in. Tweets may get cray soon | Saturday, April 12, 2014 5:21:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This pasty assed mother fucker will be up on the roof, tanning.. UV index is 6, son | Saturday, April 12, 2014 11:40:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The Yankees are a mediocre assed team... | Friday, April 11, 2014 10:45:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 4 years ago today... @Onethirdof3x5 @tomwcleary #tbt http://t.co/DMVgKXZnZx | Thursday, April 10, 2014 9:22:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| YEAH JEETS | Thursday, April 10, 2014 8:47:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My shoes smell like piss. And by piss, I don't mean urine | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 3:36:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "The DevOps function is an issue here" Nah. You're an issue here | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 12:53:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo Russ, gimmie my fuckin 🍕 | Wednesday, April 09, 2014 12:15:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu Problem is, this Twitter is private, so HBO can't see how batshit crazy I am | Tuesday, April 08, 2014 6:49:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This isn't even fair. Exec chef at NYY Steak just cooking steaks at 9:45 am for the Good Day crew... http://t.co/80tJuVHRNy | Monday, April 07, 2014 9:46:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm hungover. It's 10PM | Saturday, April 05, 2014 9:59:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wasted | Saturday, April 05, 2014 5:33:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Phone keeps fuckin rebooting. Fuck off | Saturday, April 05, 2014 3:11:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuckin hate Texiera. Never did anything useful for Yanks. Always hurts his pussy and gets paid for being on the DL. Get the fuck off my team | Saturday, April 05, 2014 3:02:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh. Blue jays are wearing blue...... Next bar TV colors were accurate | Saturday, April 05, 2014 2:30:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just checked my own ass out in the mirror. It's a good ass. | Saturday, April 05, 2014 1:28:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, why are the fucking BLUE Jays wearing green uniforms? | Saturday, April 05, 2014 1:20:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 21 year old Jeter would've made that play... | Saturday, April 05, 2014 1:20:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Four days into the season, texiera pulled his vagina muscle. Again. I called it. Weak motherfucker | Saturday, April 05, 2014 7:23:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I will never be as dapper as this guy on the subway. Looked like a classy guy from the 50s. Girlfriend's gaydar went off, mine did not... | Friday, April 04, 2014 11:35:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm getting so drunk this weekend, I'm getting banned from twitter #abusers #axelrod | Friday, April 04, 2014 6:11:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'd like you to think about how ridiculous this statement is: "A Mexican with an ass fupa carrying a large bag of live chickens." | Friday, April 04, 2014 5:26:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew needs to stop smoking fuckin cigarettes. 🚭 🚭 🚭 | Friday, April 04, 2014 4:42:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "You didn't like the font I used in my document? Bitch, you're the one who uses comic sans." -@MalJNew | Friday, April 04, 2014 1:58:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just elbowed a large man while air drumming to the Beatles at the bar | Friday, April 04, 2014 1:51:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jack honey as medicine for my throat son. | Friday, April 04, 2014 1:49:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cheers to being young, successful and fucked up http://t.co/6Sf8D4dFaR | Friday, April 04, 2014 1:10:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My liver is going to break this weekend | Friday, April 04, 2014 7:53:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 fuck the MTA In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Thursday, April 03, 2014 9:44:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's okay. The last time the Yankees opened 0-2 was in 2009. The last time before that was 1998. What happened then? | Thursday, April 03, 2014 12:23:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Never did coke. Never will. I'm already a hyper crazy motherfucker. Don't need any more pep. Need to CHILL | Wednesday, April 02, 2014 10:27:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Last tweet was a butt/pocket my pocket and I thought it was hysterical, so I posted it. Enjoyyy | Wednesday, April 02, 2014 9:51:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @portfolioso nn nn nn n N R mmnn. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, April 02, 2014 9:49:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I am shocked. Got served at the bar by a dude bartender before a smokeshow who was here before me. #enjoyyy | Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:45:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just told the VP who hired me to go fuck himself (jokingly) and I told our CEO our UI sucks. #enjoyyy | Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:41:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Completely empty bathroom. Don't shit in the stall directly next to me. Asshole. | Wednesday, April 02, 2014 9:34:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The 8:02 just showed up. It's 8:11. We're late because they're using a piece of shit antique train and the doors get stuck. | Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:12:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Only take Metro North a couple of times per week, which means that the trains are now late 100% of the time I take them #MTA | Wednesday, April 02, 2014 8:04:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, CC | Tuesday, April 01, 2014 7:25:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Hahahbdndksn,hjxmdhekcn YANKEES!!! #YeahJeets | Tuesday, April 01, 2014 7:06:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 "I want to spend some time today to tell you a little bit about Jogues, an extraordinary man!" | Tuesday, April 01, 2014 5:37:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's a grand day! Happy Yankee season! | Tuesday, April 01, 2014 11:29:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Leili is addicted to fins dick juice just like Selena is addicted to the biebs dick juice | Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:56:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Kfc delivered. I am now a black. | Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:53:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm diagnosing myself with lung cancer in 2065 | Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:16:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Correction. They're 130% fucking. Guaranteed | Saturday, March 29, 2014 11:56:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This product guy Shrek here needs to chill | Saturday, March 29, 2014 11:53:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| So are fin and leili fucking? | Saturday, March 29, 2014 11:37:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| OMG dropping. I'm a hot mess@portfolioso In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Saturday, March 29, 2014 10:06:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Verizon Wireless is doing all my fuckin calls | Saturday, March 29, 2014 10:04:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think it's the zombie apocalypse out there, you guys | Saturday, March 29, 2014 9:50:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| There's some voodoo shit going on with these phones.. | Saturday, March 29, 2014 9:24:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| .@BobSaget is a real sick fuck. @portfolioso is a real sick fuck | Friday, March 28, 2014 10:42:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My stomach has the most beer in it | Friday, March 28, 2014 3:25:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| . @Waspito bro you're engaged. Suck it. ...MY women. #GameOn | Thursday, March 27, 2014 9:25:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| That's the worst answer | Wednesday, March 26, 2014 12:09:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit. Colin got me fuuuuuckkkkked up | Wednesday, March 26, 2014 12:07:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: Do not take pictures on the 5 train after 11pm. Hood people will heckle you. | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 11:31:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Got 9s in the bedroom. Glocks in the kitchen. Shotty in the shower gonna shoot me while I'm shittin' | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 11:29:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The D.A. Daniel's Army. | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 10:42:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If you don't give a damn man we don't give a fuck | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 10:35:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm very drunk on a Tuesday | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 10:28:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| When they met @ the Three Broomsticks for Dumbledore's Army, what was omitted was that they all got shitfaced and talked shit about Umbridge | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 9:38:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm a fuckin stud rolling shit out son | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 7:58:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mas beer! Mas beer! | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 7:08:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Heavy D up in this limousine http://t.co/kERLdy8pvm | Tuesday, March 25, 2014 6:04:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I am at a KFC in the hood and they have bulletproof glass. I need to reevaluate my life. | Saturday, March 22, 2014 11:28:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'd pay hundreds for White Castle right now | Saturday, March 22, 2014 11:08:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| In the BK rowdyy | Saturday, March 22, 2014 10:24:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pretty sure the only reason I still work where I do is because I know the Yanks are winning the series and I'm going to the fuckin parade. | Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:51:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Nate's inviting the fucked up ass chick back. Yeah buddy get it | Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:21:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| For real. This chicks almost got @JenSelter's ass but those clothes make it look awful | Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:11:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Been drinking for 3 days straight. Cousin's kids baptism is tomorrow. Will definitely have the shits | Saturday, March 22, 2014 9:06:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| As an expert on the female ass, I 109% want to point out that this chicks ass is borderline deformed | Saturday, March 22, 2014 7:21:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fact: My girlfriend had to be black in a past life | Friday, March 21, 2014 8:57:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm cracking up that Niraj flirted with a gay to get Russian perks. Legit gave his cell, too. | Friday, March 21, 2014 2:34:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I get goosebumps when the bassline thumps | Friday, March 21, 2014 2:00:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| 1:33am and I just put chicken in the oven. Beyond batshit crazy | Friday, March 21, 2014 1:34:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Awww. Special Mike's wife was the most awesome | Friday, March 21, 2014 12:42:42 AM | Twitter for Android |
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