9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Tweet Date Source
Edgar: "Yo player, just file the fuckin ticket" Friday, November 14, 2014 1:25:16 PMTwitter for Android
Literally dialed in to this portfolio review call from the shitter. Kinda how I feel about it. Thursday, November 13, 2014 10:07:00 AMTwitter for Android
.@MTA the 4/5 is a piece of shit subway line. Raise the fares and then continue your shitty service assholes http://t.co/k92uqCL2mF Wednesday, November 12, 2014 6:39:29 PMTwitter for Android
Eminem, you're coo and ima let you finish but bring Rihanna back out Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:38:33 PMTwitter for Android
If they showed puppies running up to returning vets during Stay, I would have lost my shit Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:35:51 PMTwitter for Android
How hasn't Eminem OD'd yet? Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:34:41 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Rhianna. #bangbang Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:24:45 PMTwitter for Android
OMG Bruce Springsteen #ConcertForValor Tuesday, November 11, 2014 9:02:14 PMTwitter for Android
Also, if I spend 30 seconds holding an elevator for you, the least you could do is give some kind of acknowlegement Tuesday, November 11, 2014 6:35:49 PMTwitter for Android
Under no circumstances should any kind of street meat cost $10. Shouldn't even be $5. Only for the tourists... Tuesday, November 11, 2014 4:50:20 PMTwitter for Android
Bynes is 100% on point. It should be against religion to follow uglies on Twitter. #AintGotNoTimeForThat Tuesday, November 11, 2014 10:00:04 AMTwitter for Android
Lil Terrio is blowing it up down the block from Vinny's. Pure chaos. http://t.co/GucObgtPoa Monday, November 10, 2014 11:35:43 PMTwitter for Android
Macaulay Culkin looks like a heroin addict corpse Sunday, November 09, 2014 8:35:52 PMTwitter for Android
The only thing this city's good for is cleaning out your bank account Sunday, November 09, 2014 7:32:16 PMTwitter for Android
This city pisses me the fuck off Sunday, November 09, 2014 7:30:59 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew I meant topless
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, November 09, 2014 5:22:52 PMTwitter for Android
Wasted Sunday, November 09, 2014 5:22:10 PMTwitter for Android
Can we get like topmeas maids to clean the place @MalJNew? I mean, I saw a van for it so it must be legit, right? Sunday, November 09, 2014 5:05:15 PMTwitter for Android
I think I just got hit on by a dude. Sunday, November 09, 2014 3:44:09 PMTwitter for Android
Ok, now he's getting concerned Sunday, November 09, 2014 3:03:29 PMTwitter for Android
My boss is at brunch with me watching me get shitfaced before tonight's server maintenance Sunday, November 09, 2014 2:57:14 PMTwitter for Android
To summarize my Saturday, I ended up drumming on the dinner table with plastic chopsticks Sunday, November 09, 2014 2:49:36 PMTwitter for Android
By all means, play your cell phone games on full volume in this smelly, overheated, crowded train car. Sunday, November 09, 2014 1:43:31 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: I just spilled 6 shots of Jameo on a girl and she didn't flinch. She fucks Saturday, November 08, 2014 6:00:22 PMTwitter for Android
🎵🎶Alina's mom has got it going on 🎶🎵 Saturday, November 08, 2014 4:29:46 PMTwitter for Android
Flashing.... Lights Saturday, November 08, 2014 3:36:48 PMTwitter for Android
This bitch TSwift really needs to shut up about royalties and shit. Tired of seeing her everywhere. Friday, November 07, 2014 9:47:50 AMTwitter for Android
Welp, at least I got to nap longer because @MTA uses inferior equipment where they can't get the doors to close. #late #completefailure Friday, November 07, 2014 8:09:33 AMTwitter for Android
Now that I take Metro North once every other week or so, their on time performance is 0%. Always a problem. #mta #sucks Friday, November 07, 2014 7:48:19 AMTwitter for Android
@VerizonSupport No worries. Handled it.
In reply to @VerizonSupport's tweet
Friday, November 07, 2014 12:52:24 AMTwitter for Android
OMG just realized Sonic Highways comes out in 4 days Thursday, November 06, 2014 7:58:32 PMTwitter for Android
Release in two days? Its coo, you can find me over at the bar. Thursday, November 06, 2014 3:57:42 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Simmons is devastated. #FreeSimmons
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Monday, November 03, 2014 3:04:28 PMTwitter for Android
It's rude that @MalJNew's Browns are better than the NY football Giants. Why is this even a thing? Monday, November 03, 2014 1:25:01 PMTwitter for Android
I just missed this shot. #cubceldapool http://t.co/Oaoa6zFgRY Sunday, November 02, 2014 10:29:09 PMTwitter for Android
Lollll Saturday, November 01, 2014 10:31:17 PMTwitter for Android
Omg. Heard this mashup playing unreal tournament in 2002 and couldn't find it since. So sick! https://t.co/KkUPnYTIx1 Saturday, November 01, 2014 10:02:40 PMTwitter for Android
The apples on my sangria right now are SUGAR Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:23:48 PMTwitter for Android
@portfolioso Dia de Los Muertos or whatever. They call it All Souls day or some shit if you're a holy Catholic.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:15:19 PMTwitter for Android
I was trying to txt someone "suck it" but instead I sent "stuck or" #drunkie Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:14:03 PMTwitter for Android
Sonic Highways last night was superb. Fuckin Dolly Parton, Zac Brown and Dave Grohl for the win. Saturday, November 01, 2014 2:09:16 PMTwitter for Android
Happy Mexican Sugar Skull Day (or whatever they call it) Saturday, November 01, 2014 1:39:15 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ 's walk of shame tweets are killing me Saturday, November 01, 2014 1:34:39 PMTwitter for Android
F- Photoshop job by @NYDailyNews today on page 17 http://t.co/ZmokiMpGr3 Wednesday, October 29, 2014 2:28:39 PMTwitter for Android
I lost to @MalJNew in Who am I? on #QuizUp https://t.co/1BZCPw5qCp Monday, October 27, 2014 9:28:12 PMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin they don't let you. Used to IMAP mail to Thunderbird and delete from there but that didn't work well
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Monday, October 27, 2014 11:55:28 AMTwitter for Android
You have to be yourself or at least within confines Sunday, October 26, 2014 1:40:37 AMTwitter for Android
I think I may or may not have probably booked a 70s porn retreat for next weekend... Saturday, October 25, 2014 11:44:10 PMTwitter for Android
Shit I'm gettin hammered tonight Saturday, October 25, 2014 10:49:51 PMTwitter for Android
Happy birthday Mal's mom! Saturday, October 25, 2014 10:29:24 PMTwitter for Android
Watching Sonic Highways and from what I hear so far this D.C song is gonna be badass Saturday, October 25, 2014 1:00:03 AMTwitter for Android
Pull the train out of the station, cunts. Thursday, October 23, 2014 9:19:08 AMTwitter for Android
Those fuckin movable platform shits at 14th st broke. What kind of asshole designed a circular platform that requires extenders Thursday, October 23, 2014 9:09:41 AMTwitter for Android
F- commute on the 4/5 this morning. Train went 2 mph the whole way from GCT to Fulton... when it was even moving Thursday, October 23, 2014 9:04:27 AMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ My company has lunch and learns. It's BYOL... Attendance is near 0
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Wednesday, October 22, 2014 6:41:45 PMTwitter for Android
If you drown yourself in perfume that smells like toilet bowl cleaner on a crowded subway, you should off yourself Tuesday, October 21, 2014 11:03:53 AMTwitter for Android
embotellamiento Sunday, October 19, 2014 10:58:53 PMTwitter for Android
My grandma was commenting on a 71 year old getting married for the first time: "She's cleaning the cobwebs out" Sunday, October 19, 2014 8:57:26 PMTwitter for Android
My eyes are sweating Saturday, October 18, 2014 1:45:39 AMTwitter for Android
Dat grungy keyboard doe Saturday, October 18, 2014 1:02:04 AMTwitter for Android
No idea how Taylor can drum and sing perfectly without getting winded Saturday, October 18, 2014 1:00:24 AMTwitter for Android
Dave marry me Saturday, October 18, 2014 12:58:54 AMTwitter for Android
Omg this concert. #foo Saturday, October 18, 2014 12:36:52 AMTwitter for Android
Taylor calling out props to Cheap Trick @RockNationRadio #SonicHighways Friday, October 17, 2014 11:32:28 PMTwitter for Android
I was looking for a diamond but found a quarter. - Sonic Highways Friday, October 17, 2014 11:26:36 PMTwitter for Android
OMG SONIC HIGHWAYS Friday, October 17, 2014 11:16:48 PMTwitter for Android
SO excited for Sonic Highways tonight and then a live For Fighters concert after the premier on Facebook com/hbo Friday, October 17, 2014 8:55:37 PMTwitter for Android
Protip from one of my system engineers regarding not getting viruses: "Stop watching frickin porn on the production servers" Friday, October 17, 2014 3:04:28 PMTwitter for Android
Absolutely not one person wants to do a Jaeger bomb with me and they're have off. COME ON Thursday, October 16, 2014 9:39:02 PMTwitter for Android
When I open my bar, vodka crans are gonna be called Vagina Juice Thursday, October 16, 2014 8:32:05 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel da Jets Thursday, October 16, 2014 8:28:55 PMTwitter for Android
Just realized drinking is the only thing that makes my job tolerable Thursday, October 16, 2014 8:26:14 PMTwitter for Android
What kind of devil puts a McDonald's next to a bar with like free drinks? Thursday, October 16, 2014 8:11:51 PMTwitter for Android
Freddy told us to wait for him because he was getting a sandwich. And by sandwich, he meant drunk underage girl Thursday, October 16, 2014 6:33:55 PMTwitter for Android
BRB, CTO propaganda meeting Thursday, October 16, 2014 10:21:00 AMTwitter for Android
Protip: Having pickles and potato chips for lunch is not recommended due to reflux Wednesday, October 15, 2014 3:18:48 PMTwitter for Android
"You're not home yet and you're not even coming over? Come on. Dave grohl is on Letterman and I have an antenna like it's 1969" Tuesday, October 14, 2014 11:59:00 PMTwitter for Android
Singing David's dogs at karaoke. Tuesday, October 14, 2014 9:00:33 PMTwitter for Android
In desperate need of a go-to karaoke song Tuesday, October 14, 2014 7:28:09 PMTwitter for Android
Secaucus Junction station: I've never smelled anything like it in my life #shithole Monday, October 13, 2014 5:14:09 PMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin I can believe this. Was at a Kmart once and the 1989 terminal they had kept freezing...
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Monday, October 13, 2014 4:39:27 PMTwitter for Android
Almost pulled a George Brett at this casino... Sunday, October 12, 2014 7:52:32 PMTwitter for Android
@dannyrob88 Not one person has ever had a bad time listening to the Ignition (Remix)
In reply to @dannyrob88's tweet
Sunday, October 12, 2014 10:33:28 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew @MichaelShatin wake up crackers. I'm a bitch ass drinker and I am still awake Saturday, October 11, 2014 12:40:47 AMTwitter for Android
@FairfieldMirror @ESl403 @Rileylbarrett Former Mirror web admin here... There used to be a WordPress plugin for multiple bylines
In reply to @FairfieldMirror's tweet
Saturday, October 11, 2014 12:34:05 AMTwitter for Android
@kevinrose RT-AC87 Dual-band Wireless-AC2400. Install Merlin's custom firmware. Excellent @RMerlinDev
In reply to @kevinrose's tweet
Friday, October 10, 2014 10:17:32 PMTwitter for Android
But you got dem daddy issues doe. RT @amandabynes I need to tell the truth about my dad Friday, October 10, 2014 10:12:26 PMTwitter for Android
BYNES!!!!! RT @amandabynes Help a nigga out and hop off ma dick Friday, October 10, 2014 4:24:24 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ Cuncel da Long
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Friday, October 10, 2014 4:22:45 PMTwitter for Android
I think I just got a cold within the past 45 minutes #sniffle Friday, October 10, 2014 12:15:51 AMTwitter for Android
I did a shot of whiskey an hour ago and chased it with a sip of grapefruit beer. The whiskey is fine. The beer is repeating on me. #FML Thursday, October 09, 2014 11:54:33 PMTwitter for Android
@mich_amore yeah these weeks are bullshit. They need to go quicker. Although I don't fancy getting older...
In reply to @mich_amore's tweet
Thursday, October 09, 2014 11:26:00 PMTwitter for Android
My taxi driver is basically Turtle from Entourage. He's also listening to hockey on the radio #white Thursday, October 09, 2014 11:03:19 PMTwitter for Android
"Special appearance by owner Dick Cantwell" Love how cocky this guy is. "I own this brewery, bitch. Get a load of me" http://t.co/iBmpE8eOkB Thursday, October 09, 2014 10:33:25 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ @BarstoolTrent The corn really sucks here in NYC, so I don't see how Trent would make it here.
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Thursday, October 09, 2014 10:30:50 PMTwitter for Android
I just found out that the office beer/keg supply operation is still being run by an ex-employee Thursday, October 09, 2014 9:33:26 PMTwitter for Android
Walking down the street in a gray Stags hoodie and gray sweatpants. A middle school kid just called out "hey coach!" Spot on, son. Spot on. Tuesday, October 07, 2014 9:34:56 PMTwitter for Android
To the bird that took a shit on my window screen... Screw you Tuesday, October 07, 2014 9:31:22 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu @kerbear88 they didn't send me to our datacenter yet and I'm one of their engineers
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, October 07, 2014 8:23:44 PMTwitter for Android
Additionally, I might actually get hammered by accident before my server maintenance. Fuck it. Last time I drunk rolled out it was perfect Sunday, October 05, 2014 3:32:41 PMTwitter for Android
I'm at an ethnic BBQ and there is so much meat its fantastic Sunday, October 05, 2014 3:30:50 PMTwitter for Android
This NY weather is gorgeous. Its like how Arizona is in December Sunday, October 05, 2014 3:13:28 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew hhhhh⚡⚡⚡
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Sunday, October 05, 2014 10:34:20 AMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew how'd you reply, jokeface? Sunday, October 05, 2014 10:33:10 AMTwitter for Android
TIL that that Indian dot thing they put on their heads is called a Bindi. Thanks Mal Sunday, October 05, 2014 10:27:58 AMTwitter for Android
@__JLu Staying low profile for a bit, then I'll be back
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, October 03, 2014 8:15:16 AMTwitter for Android
@__JLu long story. CDN crashed and I tweeted about it. peeps at work searched that tag and almost found me
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Friday, October 03, 2014 8:14:58 AMTwitter for Android
Mal: "Let's watch a program" Me: "What are you, 70?" Mal: "Actually, my Great Grandma used to say that." Thursday, October 02, 2014 11:53:15 PMTwitter for Android
Guy in a Spiderman sweatshirt walked into the bar and @MalJNew thought he was trick-or-treating. #jeez #its10/2 Thursday, October 02, 2014 11:31:00 PMTwitter for Android
This reggae band best be covering 54-46 Wednesday, October 01, 2014 11:18:18 PMTwitter for Android
Cocksucker motherfucker http://t.co/dd9Rg4h00V Wednesday, October 01, 2014 1:31:07 PMTwitter for Android
All I do on Twitter is complain. They are valid complaints. Tuesday, September 30, 2014 7:28:54 PMTwitter for Android
Train tracks are like driving over a fuckin washboard. the least smooth. #MTAfail Tuesday, September 30, 2014 7:28:30 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: Plain and simple if you willingly go to Africa you deserve Ebola and your America privileges should get revoked. Tuesday, September 30, 2014 7:20:15 PMTwitter for Android
The 4/5 is running backwards tonight. The fuckin local 6 trains are passing us. Tuesday, September 30, 2014 6:37:22 PMTwitter for Android
I work with a bunch of fuckin clueless idiots. I wish I had video of this fuckin joke standing over me telling me to do useless things Tuesday, September 30, 2014 11:35:36 AMTwitter for Android
Though of the day: if Styrofoam is polystyrene, does monostyrene exist? Monday, September 29, 2014 5:07:14 PMTwitter for Android
This Simpsons Family Guy is legit Sunday, September 28, 2014 9:12:00 PMTwitter for Android
My girlfriend is black Sunday, September 28, 2014 3:41:22 PMTwitter for Android
Also, ain't nothing better than a bunch of white girls singing No Scrubs at brunch Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:58:51 PMTwitter for Android
Drupal is down. I could fix it, but ima let our Linux guy handle that Sunday, September 28, 2014 2:58:02 PMTwitter for Android
Saw a USAF Vet sticker on someone, I legit thought it meant veterinarian rather than veteran & asked if pets were in the air force #blonde Saturday, September 27, 2014 9:41:42 PMTwitter for Android
I could print this funnel cake on a 3D printer faster than these jokeshops Saturday, September 27, 2014 7:53:40 PMTwitter for Android
Shouldn't take 15 minutes to order a funnel cake and you should print cards where the barcodes don't scratch off so easily. @LunaParkNYC Saturday, September 27, 2014 7:50:43 PMTwitter for Android
You know it's an authentic, legit Italian pizzaria when they've got a postcard of @Pontifex by the register Saturday, September 27, 2014 1:44:47 PMTwitter for Android
#whatsmymothafuckinname Saturday, September 27, 2014 11:57:34 AMTwitter for Android
#YeahJeets http://t.co/RroTAPapn6 Friday, September 26, 2014 1:32:58 PMTwitter for Android
#YeahJeets http://t.co/JdO9VcsDpN Friday, September 26, 2014 1:29:47 PMTwitter for Android
#YeahJeets (I cried a little. What are ya gonna do) Thursday, September 25, 2014 10:33:51 PMTwitter for Android
RT @BarstoolJJ: Thats the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. #RE2PECT Thursday, September 25, 2014 10:28:48 PMTwitter for Android
But this is how loud Yankee Stadium was in the late 90s most times Thursday, September 25, 2014 10:04:14 PMTwitter for Android
Watching a bootleg YES stream by some Canadian station. Needless to say, Canadian sports (besides hockey) and commercials are SILLY Thursday, September 25, 2014 9:14:41 PMTwitter for Android
Oops my b. Spelled Bob Sheppard's name wrong Thursday, September 25, 2014 8:12:02 PMTwitter for Android
My eyes are sweating, waiting for Bob Shepherd to announce Numba 2, Derek Jeter. Thursday, September 25, 2014 7:55:02 PMTwitter for Android
I feel so included where I work, you guys. #hatehatehate Monday, September 22, 2014 9:12:56 PMTwitter for Android
Lol. They canceled the release and didn't happen to email their release engineer. Only managers. Who don't do the maintenance. #winning Monday, September 22, 2014 9:12:39 PMTwitter for Android
@kellyomealia @kerbear88 ladies: http://t.co/z2CTbjUNjF
In reply to @kellyomealia's tweet
Sunday, September 21, 2014 10:39:27 PMTwitter for Android
RBI double. #yeahjeets Sunday, September 21, 2014 3:33:32 PMTwitter for Android
This humidity shouldn't be legal Sunday, September 21, 2014 11:35:25 AMTwitter for Android
I totally called it that jlaw was a nasty minx two years ago in this tweet: https://t.co/2MoEsgjs0t #amirite Sunday, September 21, 2014 8:14:53 AMTwitter for Android
Accidentally bit my coaster in half http://t.co/hD1yPyYGsl Saturday, September 20, 2014 4:22:59 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito so sad. Mals puppy's mom had a buncha pups and a few of them passed away of that's sad
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Saturday, September 20, 2014 4:18:25 PMTwitter for Android
Wasted Saturday, September 20, 2014 3:43:17 PMTwitter for Android
My hair is on another level Saturday, September 20, 2014 3:17:40 PMTwitter for Android
@LennonImagine Mikey and I may or may not dance for you (maybe in our underwear) Saturday, September 20, 2014 2:37:52 PMTwitter for Android
I don't understand why anyone gives a fuck. Considering the universe's vastness and trillion year history/ evolution, nothing really matters Saturday, September 20, 2014 1:21:00 AMTwitter for Android
I'm having a very difficult time not drumming on the table with my chopsticks Friday, September 19, 2014 11:13:23 PMTwitter for Android
This is bullshit. I'm in Koreatown and Niraj and or Sam aren't here to buy me Korean BBQ. 😠😠 Friday, September 19, 2014 10:16:54 PMTwitter for Android
Am I the only person on Earth not really into Queen? Friday, September 19, 2014 8:08:41 PMTwitter for Android
Rick roll'd at karaoke. Hasn't happened to me in years. http://t.co/GArxYvt063 Friday, September 19, 2014 7:45:19 PMTwitter for Android
Shit the Dandys are in Brooklyn tonight. I must see them Friday, September 19, 2014 1:38:08 PMTwitter for Android
Verizon 4G sux. Entire train ride and I can't even load a mobile webpage. Took me 4 attempts to tweet this, but I have full 4G Friday, September 19, 2014 8:25:00 AMTwitter for Android
@__JLu SEO master in training
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Thursday, September 18, 2014 9:18:08 PMTwitter for Android
http://t.co/Y9SE3no3gV Wednesday, September 17, 2014 9:11:54 PMTwitter for Android
After minutes of intense discussion and complex calculus solving, the supermarket finally exchanged my outdated butter Tuesday, September 16, 2014 6:55:06 PMTwitter for Android
Legit just did a full loop around the office to avoid small talk with the CTO Monday, September 15, 2014 12:35:08 PMTwitter for Android
Someone get ConEd on standby, blowing this place up with the amount of gas I'm rippin out. Saturday, September 13, 2014 11:18:26 PMTwitter for Android
I wish I was so baller that my band would play secret underground shows as The Holy Shits Saturday, September 13, 2014 12:43:52 PMTwitter for Android
"I'm like a human lube." "Christina Agulera looks like she threw up a Spanish omelette" -Mikey Saturday, September 13, 2014 1:55:37 AMTwitter for Android
The most hysterical Beyoncé vs Britney debate is happening between @Luigitime and @MichaelShatin and @MalJNew is missing it all. Saturday, September 13, 2014 1:39:19 AMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Enjoy Los Mets night
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, September 12, 2014 8:55:06 PMTwitter for Android
Ran into a 45 year old @tomwcleary at the bar Friday, September 12, 2014 8:52:14 PMTwitter for Android
@RockNationRadio always busting my bubble 😁
In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet
Thursday, September 11, 2014 9:41:34 PMTwitter for Android
Does anyone know a Leon who's white? Feel like it's exclusively a black name Thursday, September 11, 2014 9:26:38 PMTwitter for Android
@DaveLozo @BarstoolJJ Bunch of pussies. #cuncel
In reply to @DaveLozo's tweet
Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:43:56 PMTwitter for Android
Idk how I uprooted a cactus at this Mexican joint, but I did Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:14:22 PMTwitter for Android
Had like five margs. This is what I felt like when I had 3 keystones my freshman year at 130 lbs #times Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:09:19 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ cuncel
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:02:41 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Cuncel America. There is no more hope.
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Thursday, September 11, 2014 8:02:06 PMTwitter for Android
The cars are really shiny today Wednesday, September 10, 2014 8:17:44 AMTwitter for Android
Why aren't there more bank of Americas on 10th ave cunts Sunday, September 07, 2014 7:02:29 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... I'm fuckin vile. If something is too bad for me to tweet, you know it must be on another level
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, September 07, 2014 6:43:43 PMTwitter for Android
This bartendress can put the sorting hat on me all she wants Sunday, September 07, 2014 6:38:50 PMTwitter for Android
Was about to quote something overheard at this bar but it is beyond too vile for my newly public twitter account Sunday, September 07, 2014 5:51:09 PMTwitter for Android
I will forever regret never being a drummer in a rock band. #davegrohlteachmetheways Sunday, September 07, 2014 5:48:23 PMTwitter for Android
RT @PaulONeillYES: Tip of the gap to ya Jete Sunday, September 07, 2014 5:06:34 PMTwitter for Android
Barkeep: bring me a Tito's and soda because this house vodka soda tastes like it's for the poors Sunday, September 07, 2014 4:59:28 PMTwitter for Android
I am so impressed with Android and the direction of Motorola. They are finally getting it right! Saturday, September 06, 2014 2:16:39 AMTwitter for Android
Just dropped a ten spot in the shitter Saturday, September 06, 2014 1:22:14 AMTwitter for Android
@mich_amore no treble
In reply to @mich_amore's tweet
Saturday, September 06, 2014 1:18:31 AMTwitter for Android
The Indians would blow this game... Bases juiced, 0 outs... Friday, September 05, 2014 10:17:06 PMTwitter for Android
Cuncel da Yankees Friday, September 05, 2014 9:49:08 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta admit... Chief Wahoo is a pretty cool dude and if you think it's racist you're a fuckin asshole Friday, September 05, 2014 8:48:39 PMTwitter for Android
@BarstoolJJ cuncelled
In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet
Tuesday, September 02, 2014 8:38:48 PMTwitter for Android
I shouldn't be drunk in Walmart but I mean come on... It's Walmart. At least its not meth Tuesday, September 02, 2014 7:22:18 PMTwitter for Android
God damn it Walmart. So many awesome shirts. But only in 3XL. Why is murrica so fat? Tuesday, September 02, 2014 7:17:53 PMTwitter for Android
My hair is fantastic Tuesday, September 02, 2014 6:49:12 PMTwitter for Android
I need to drop some Mexican stat. Donde esta el baño? Tuesday, September 02, 2014 6:42:47 PMTwitter for Android
Christ. Everything is free in Ohio. Tuesday, September 02, 2014 6:23:05 PMTwitter for Android
It takes a lot to get me drunk, but one of these mags got me good. Jeez Tuesday, September 02, 2014 5:30:27 PMTwitter for Android
I've used up five years worth of my chick flick quota in like 2 days... Tuesday, September 02, 2014 1:22:03 PMTwitter for Android
Why do you do this to me, Fairfield... Why? http://t.co/2BY1g4xbhq Tuesday, September 02, 2014 12:32:41 PMTwitter for Android
A bunch of pictures of me next to some Dave Grohl artwork #IfMyPhoneGotHacked Monday, September 01, 2014 11:07:15 AMTwitter for Android
Movie the gf is watching with her momma is depressing the fuck out of me, so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go look at JLaw's titties Monday, September 01, 2014 1:04:32 AMTwitter for Android
@RMerlinDev are the Asus routers affected by this? http://t.co/6fV490w2mZ Sunday, August 31, 2014 12:13:32 PMTwitter for Android
@KFCBarstool Clancy. I can't change my channel and this is bullshit. Switching back to Time Warner. J/k #fios http://t.co/V9B1kUcnI7 Sunday, August 31, 2014 1:34:15 AMTwitter for Android
They just left the strip club because the girls there didn't have big enough boobs. Come on.. Saturday, August 30, 2014 11:56:42 PMTwitter for Android
Once again, Selena can't get enough of that dick juice http://t.co/AzHWRFz3Ki Saturday, August 30, 2014 11:11:03 PMTwitter for Android
Bartender HOOKED us up before last call Saturday, August 30, 2014 10:00:16 PMTwitter for Android
Entire table is away mingling so I can sneak one out.

(A fart)
Saturday, August 30, 2014 8:04:26 PMTwitter for Android
Rolled up to the Church blasting Pimp Juice #causemylifeisdopeandidodopethings Saturday, August 30, 2014 2:19:59 PMTwitter for Android
90s on 9 SiriusXM is kill in it right now. Saturday, August 30, 2014 10:19:53 AMTwitter for Android
Dem times when your coworkers post horrifying plump child tbts from the early 80s #gross Friday, August 29, 2014 12:08:21 AMTwitter for Android
GET ON OUR LEVEL #TURNT http://t.co/XRirwtlWnO Thursday, August 28, 2014 11:16:10 PMTwitter for Android
I've been slacking on twitter lately. Probably because I stopped drinking and got lame. So now I'm gonna drink and be awesome on Twitter Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:50:06 PMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam is that app out for android?
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:42:37 PMTwitter for Android
Real Housewives of Disney: Poor job casting Jasmine. She's too white for me... Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:42:17 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta love that Yankees/Giants life @BarstoolJJ @KFCBarstool
In reply to @KFCBarstool's tweet
Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:25:47 PMTwitter for Android
Why does my tom Collins taste like weed? Thursday, August 28, 2014 10:15:52 PMTwitter for Android
This Kermit the frog Detroit fan over here at the bar... Thursday, August 28, 2014 2:38:15 PMTwitter for Android
Because of the way our network is segmented, we just quadrupled our firewall traffic by adding a load balancer. For fuck's sake! Thursday, August 28, 2014 12:06:43 PMTwitter for Android
Un-cuncel Kevin Long if they hit like this everyday, eh @BarstoolJJ ? Wednesday, August 27, 2014 8:12:44 PMTwitter for Android
RBI double. #YeahJeets Wednesday, August 27, 2014 8:04:11 PMTwitter for Android
I've got like a construction workers eyebrow... Wednesday, August 27, 2014 12:37:18 AMTwitter for Android
@kerbear88 my commutes also sucked a d today. #mtablows
In reply to @kerbear88's tweet
Monday, August 25, 2014 11:13:49 PMTwitter for Android
F- job by the MTA getting me to work today. Monday, August 25, 2014 9:16:35 AMTwitter for Android
I want a puppyyyyy Sunday, August 24, 2014 1:13:42 AMTwitter for Android Tablets
Whisky ginger double, a fireball shot and a beer in an hour. Didn't do a damn thing. I'll drive us all home. Why do I even bother drinking? Friday, August 22, 2014 10:11:06 PMTwitter for Android
@scoopANDslam haven't shaved since 2 days ago. Look like a bear.
In reply to @scoopANDslam's tweet
Friday, August 22, 2014 10:03:53 PMTwitter for Android
Can't ever go wrong telling someone to eat a bowl of dicks: http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/lawyer-in-hot-water-for-asking-office-manager-if-she-wanted-a-dirty-sanchez-and-telling-her-to-eat-a-bowl-of-dicks/ Friday, August 22, 2014 8:12:45 AMTwitter for Android
Anyone on Twitter have a private jet they wanna fly me around in? Friday, August 22, 2014 12:26:03 AMTwitter for Android
I've made a huge mistake in life. I lack a Caribbean friend to teach me steel drums Thursday, August 21, 2014 9:44:23 PMTwitter for Android
According to @RockNationRadio, I've just been informed the Night Ranger guitarist went to Whitesnake Thursday, August 21, 2014 4:33:48 PMTwitter for Android
Someone's not sharing! Thursday, August 21, 2014 3:48:18 PMTwitter for Android
F- at corn hole with strangers. Lost all 3 games like 21-5 Thursday, August 21, 2014 3:10:04 PMTwitter for Android
I'm forcin Maresca to bang this Van Halen chick. He's got no choice. Thursday, August 21, 2014 1:48:14 PMTwitter for Android
No worries @MalJNew , they're old ladies
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, August 21, 2014 1:38:21 PMTwitter for Android
I'm all about these nurses giving out jello shots out of syringes. Thursday, August 21, 2014 1:37:48 PMTwitter for Android
These coronas are going down really smooth you guys. #4, but I don't see any nearby pissas. Sux Thursday, August 21, 2014 1:15:14 PMTwitter for Android
Oh I see how it is... Princess Anna wants that dick juice Wednesday, August 20, 2014 11:01:21 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ, Disney Wednesday, August 20, 2014 10:57:39 PMTwitter for Android
Gonna watch Frozen to see what all the fuss is about. First scene. Question. How'd they chop ice into perfect blocks that easily? Wednesday, August 20, 2014 10:37:35 PMTwitter for Android
Also jammin to Salt N Pepa with @MalJNew and I'm not sad about it. Wednesday, August 20, 2014 9:45:49 PMTwitter for Android
I just said eh like a Canadian and I don't even know why Wednesday, August 20, 2014 9:45:03 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... It kinda tastes like hospital food, but its iight. Wednesday, August 20, 2014 8:17:53 PMTwitter for Android
On call for a week straight. FML. Wednesday, August 20, 2014 6:31:49 PMTwitter for Android
RT @KFCBarstool: I'm officially over the summer. Give me the Fall ASAP. Wednesday, August 20, 2014 1:56:28 PMTwitter for Android
My team didn't do so badly tonight. Second place aka first loser! Monday, August 18, 2014 8:56:49 PMTwitter for Android
The projects is poppin tonight #woodside Monday, August 18, 2014 8:56:17 PMTwitter for Android
Maaaaa! The meatloaf! Sunday, August 17, 2014 11:25:12 PMTwitter for Android
Oh nooo... Left my Jeets souvenir cup in the freezer and cracked it. Guess I'll need to go back to the Stadium this year. Sunday, August 17, 2014 11:11:08 PMTwitter for Android
Not sad to admit that I will have the most goosebumps and my eyes may sweat a little when Hey Jealousy comes on Sunday, August 17, 2014 9:06:58 PMTwitter for Android
They don't make rock like they used to in the 90s Sunday, August 17, 2014 8:37:39 PMTwitter for Android
@MalJNew they are SO good live
In reply to @MalJNew's tweet
Sunday, August 17, 2014 8:09:58 PMTwitter for Android
There are like 15 people at this Gin Blossoms concert. Rude. Sunday, August 17, 2014 7:59:08 PMTwitter for Android
I don't follow BuzzFeed for a reason Twitter, so stop showing me fuckin Buzzfeed posts because my friends follow them. Sunday, August 17, 2014 2:45:05 PMTwitter for Android
YEAH JEETS Saturday, August 16, 2014 6:46:23 PMTwitter for Android
"I was losin' 10 grand one time... But I got it back..." Hhhhh Saturday, August 16, 2014 10:28:52 AMTwitter for Android
I'm upstate, lol Saturday, August 16, 2014 10:21:25 AMTwitter for Android
John Porpora, casually making me piss my pants with laughter on a Saturday morning. Saturday, August 16, 2014 10:13:29 AMTwitter for Android

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