9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Man. It's rough out there. I should take up drinking again Friday, July 03, 2020 5:59:55 PMTwitter for Android
Check this Unsolved Mysteries Netflix reboot episode... Based on the date, I'd just say they were all on acid and the UFO was in their minds https://t.co/bTwb3mPGUS Wednesday, July 01, 2020 11:05:05 PMTwitter for Android
Love the new heatmap in @googlephotos but the map is ENRAGING to scroll through. Super glitchy Tuesday, June 30, 2020 10:13:04 AMTwitter for Android
You guys... There's something wrong with Chapmans' penis! https://t.co/PaommgdttN Sunday, June 28, 2020 8:49:41 PMTwitter for Android
PS remember back in college when I burned a Confederate flag? I was ahead of our time.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, June 27, 2020 5:10:04 PMTwitter for Android
See, in Germany, you don't have redneck hicks that fly swastika flags... But in the Confederate states, they still fly that flag. Nation didn't even last 4 years, what the fuck.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, June 27, 2020 5:09:13 PMTwitter for Android
Germany is all like "fuck your shitty assed country, y'all ain't world leaders, you're idiots." And I agree.

https://t.co/QEThiydrcz 		Saturday, June 27, 2020 5:05:27 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump You are a doofus that is out of touch with reality.
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Friday, June 26, 2020 7:37:47 AMTwitter for Android
@3M Maybe the next generation will not pollute our planet with perfluorinated chemicals
In reply to @3M's tweet
Wednesday, June 24, 2020 11:01:14 PMTwitter for Android
I fucking HATE the useless @EPA, @EPAwater and cocksucking, coal lobbying, Trump sucking, corrupt @EPAAWheeler. A cancer to the nation.

These extremist, polluting, reckless, IGNORANT policies are KILLING Americans in the name of greed and corruption

https://t.co/uyPv5tpIMP 		Wednesday, June 24, 2020 10:53:24 PMTwitter for Android
@LyndaBennettNC @realDonaldTrump Endorsed by a moron and defeated.

👋 Bye
In reply to @LyndaBennettNC's tweet
Wednesday, June 24, 2020 10:20:34 AMTwitter for Android
This weekend, I was told by someone that they don't care if I die of Covid and that I'm such a miserable, unlikable person that I'm going to die alone Monday, June 22, 2020 8:26:58 AMTwitter for Android
@Android @madebygoogle I demand to know why Android Auto is a perpetually buggy piece of crap. Why can't you all get it stable? It's been unreliable for years. Apple CarPlay just works. I'd prefer to use Android, but it is borderline unusable.

https://t.co/hBl80qkLR7 		Friday, June 19, 2020 11:23:27 AMTwitter for Android
The @EPA @EPAwater is garbage organization. Abolish the EPA

https://t.co/186grH7LfL 		Friday, June 19, 2020 7:53:34 AMTwitter for Android
We need extreme measures to solve this country's issues. We need a purge.

Anyone not denouncing Trump's bullshit needs to be immediately sterilized so only sane people can reproduce. 		Monday, June 15, 2020 7:36:17 AMTwitter for Android
The second wave of Coronavirus is here. https://t.co/2IUbgsdMqk Monday, June 15, 2020 7:17:15 AMTwitter for Android
Who's the craziest president if the two? Trump or Andrew Jackson?

Man, America has shit history 		Sunday, June 14, 2020 11:44:33 PMTwitter for Android
I'm literally watching Sesame Street's Stand Up to Racism Town Hall and it's geared towards 2-5 year olds.

So can the batshit Republican party watch this please and like, do better? 		Thursday, June 11, 2020 10:56:44 PMTwitter for Android
@MMA_Dork @JJFromTheBronx I get the economics behind it. What's to stop someone from selling a 400k valued house for 600k and if you foreclose, the bank loses 200+k

In my situation, it was BS the house valued lower. Comps were smaller & less updated going for the same. HAD to be fixed after they saw my $
In reply to @MMA_Dork's tweet
Monday, June 08, 2020 11:28:32 PMTwitter for Android
@MMA_Dork @JJFromTheBronx Seller had kids registered in a a different school and we're desperate to get out, but it could go either way - buyer or seller could get screwed over. And of course you need extra cash to furnish and fix some stuff
In reply to @MMA_Dork's tweet
Monday, June 08, 2020 11:18:47 PMTwitter for Android
@MMA_Dork @JJFromTheBronx Yes! It was exactly like that. You love the house have the money to avoid PMI, seller accepts, everyone's happy, and then you have to walk like a week before closing because you need to pay the difference. How is that allowed.
In reply to @MMA_Dork's tweet
Monday, June 08, 2020 11:17:06 PMTwitter for Android
@MMA_Dork @JJFromTheBronx It's such bs
In reply to @MMA_Dork's tweet
Monday, June 08, 2020 10:46:39 PMTwitter for Android
@MMA_Dork @JJFromTheBronx Yeah it's a dick move. Glad the seller had to lower or I would have walked. I already put 20% down and didn't have more to cover the extra. Didn't want PMI either
In reply to @MMA_Dork's tweet
Monday, June 08, 2020 10:46:28 PMTwitter for Android
@MMA_Dork @JJFromTheBronx This happened to me. Was ready to pay slightly under list price, but the house appraised for lower and the lender would not approve the loan. Some 2008 rules or some shit. Worked out in the end because the seller had to lower the price to get closer to the appraisal value
In reply to @MMA_Dork's tweet
Monday, June 08, 2020 10:34:23 PMTwitter for Android
Go fuck yourselves @EPAAWheeler @EPA @EPAresearch!!!

This is great news
https://t.co/uBL3fu5M41 		Thursday, June 04, 2020 7:12:12 AMTwitter for Android
This is real life. This is not an Onion article. Let that sink in. https://t.co/9ndKwnifts Tuesday, June 02, 2020 9:46:50 PMTwitter for Android
Literally zero news content this morning. 15 minutes of commercials and one segment of protesters
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, June 02, 2020 7:38:03 AMTwitter for Android
What is the deal with @CBSThisMorning right now. Literally turned it on 10 minutes ago and it's been commercials and one local weather report for 10 straight minutes. Zero content Tuesday, June 02, 2020 7:29:45 AMTwitter for Android
@ColumbusPolice are handling these riots poorly Tuesday, June 02, 2020 12:06:25 AMTwitter for Android
Actually, it wasn't. They keep killing black people for no reason
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, May 31, 2020 5:04:24 PMTwitter for Android
100,000 dead from a virus, 20+ million unemployed and rioting all over the country.

Jesus FUCKING CHRIST @realDonaldTrump

America was just fine before 		Sunday, May 31, 2020 4:41:27 PMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump You sound like Hitler https://t.co/NjJLHq3DpZ
In reply to @realDonaldTrump's tweet
Sunday, May 31, 2020 4:35:42 PMTwitter for Android
Oh look. I woke up and the Minneapolis PD killed another black man for no reason. Flat out pinned their knees to his neck, because ya know, that's necessary. What else is new. This is America. 😰 Tuesday, May 26, 2020 7:17:11 AMTwitter for Android
This is a guy who has a human run a manual test against each server during production deployments. Once we get that automated, he'll have to go eat a dick instead
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, May 25, 2020 9:29:45 PMTwitter for Android
The guy sucks at his job and is what the French call Les Incompétent
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, May 25, 2020 9:29:03 PMTwitter for Android
I don't even get in until 9. And this asshole scheduled it over the weekend. Jagoff
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, May 25, 2020 9:27:59 PMTwitter for Android
Ya know... I was going to stop complaining on here but when the director of QA schedules an 8am meeting for the first day back after a three day weekend, he can go eat a rotting dick. Monday, May 25, 2020 9:27:08 PMTwitter for Android
Be right back Saturday, May 23, 2020 1:57:26 AMTwitter for Android
@realDonaldTrump https://t.co/Af5i7gEvCI Friday, May 22, 2020 9:03:06 PMTwitter for Android
@WestmorelandCO lol at suing the crooked @epa (which is essentially a coal lobby). Go out of business. Coal kills. Friday, May 22, 2020 9:00:25 PMTwitter for Android
This is a fear mongering full of shit article @arstechnica. Yes, cases will spike after reopening, but the incubation period is longer than 4 days. Plus, the US testing capacity is ass.

https://t.co/eXIjBFveBs 		Wednesday, May 20, 2020 11:34:16 PMTwitter for Android
Today was a bad day Wednesday, May 20, 2020 10:52:45 PMTwitter for Android
@ColumbusGov Cool city, but never lived anywhere else with such shit weather. Since 2020 stated the sun's been out 8 times
In reply to @ColumbusGov's tweet
Wednesday, May 20, 2020 10:37:59 PMTwitter for Android
I can't believe it's May 20th and I have the fucking heat on.

Piece of shit 2020 		Wednesday, May 20, 2020 10:35:46 PMTwitter for Android
It's been monsooning for three hours...

Instead of sleeping, I'm monitoring all my pumps and shit because I have a clogged downspout. Never seen the pumps run so much... 		Tuesday, May 19, 2020 12:35:50 AMTwitter for Android
🖕coal

https://t.co/y1XVF2Wc4D 		Tuesday, May 19, 2020 12:02:48 AMTwitter for Android
Is this a fucking joke?

https://t.co/mO4SfGFLdr 		Monday, May 18, 2020 9:23:04 PMTwitter for Android
@ChiefTenaya What a terrible thing to say. Shame on you. Pets are family. It's like losing a family member. Asshole.
In reply to @ChiefTenaya's tweet
Monday, May 18, 2020 1:09:40 AMTwitter for Android
It is not easily apparent to me how to merge a PR in the @github Android app. Matter of fact, the app stinks - I feel like I should be able to easily figure it out, else the UX is bad. Maybe it's me though. I will use the web version. Sunday, May 17, 2020 11:54:07 PMTwitter for Android
Today was a bad day Sunday, May 17, 2020 10:21:50 PMTwitter for Android
Corrupt pieces of shit. Abolish the @EPA and send @realDonaldTrump to prison

https://t.co/sJO4hcFIEZ 		Sunday, May 17, 2020 8:49:57 PMTwitter for Android
I ripped the plug out and threw be it across the room. It's an unreliable piece of shit
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, May 17, 2020 2:10:19 PMTwitter for Android
@googlenest the Nest hub is a unreliable piece of shit setting timers. In the past two days, it fucked up adding and removing time, and two of them just vanished. I burned my bacon which is impossible to get these days Sunday, May 17, 2020 2:09:21 PMTwitter for Android
Abolish the @EPA

https://t.co/LgOdjB3iAh 		Sunday, May 17, 2020 12:02:50 AMTwitter for Android
Shut up Tex. Of course you support abbreviated seasons. All your seasons were abbreviated because you were on the DL 80% of the time.

https://t.co/mHj2ljD15L 		Wednesday, May 13, 2020 8:47:53 AMTwitter for Android
I need Dr. Gregory House working on solving this pandemic. Dude would be snorting crushed Vicodin and end up curing Covid somehow, while calling everyone idiots.

House. 		Tuesday, May 12, 2020 10:53:01 PMTwitter for Android
PSA: If you're wishing a Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there... Make sure "mother's" has an apostrophe and "moms" does not.

Y'all are driving me crazy with your incorrect grammar 		Sunday, May 10, 2020 7:14:20 PMTwitter for Android
Google Opinion Rewards just paid me 60 cents to tell them Android Auto is buggy AF Saturday, May 09, 2020 2:38:32 PMTwitter for Android
The fuck names their kid X Æ A-12
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, May 09, 2020 8:11:48 AMTwitter for Android
Elon Musk is a fuckin weirdo. Smart guy, but wayyyyyyy out there Saturday, May 09, 2020 8:09:00 AMTwitter for Android
Humbug Friday, May 08, 2020 1:02:22 PMTwitter for Android
This construction guy dicking around with some utility thing in the middle of my town's most dangerous intersection didn't give a FUCK when the light turned green. Told cars to drive around him. Balls. https://t.co/L6Wz08BIAw Wednesday, May 06, 2020 10:36:05 PMTwitter for Android
This guy told @realDonaldTrump
To eat a dick

‘Very difficult and emotional’: Pandemic expert leaves Trump administration https://t.co/JTgaRptx22 		Wednesday, May 06, 2020 9:24:58 AMTwitter for Android
ABOLISH the useless @EPA
@EPAwater - this organization does nothing to protect Americans and doesn't base their decisions on science. Rather, are swayed by lobbyists. Defund this waste of money now!

https://t.co/2b1GgRo411 		Tuesday, May 05, 2020 7:17:55 AMTwitter for Android
https://t.co/eD6ngt96dY Monday, May 04, 2020 9:59:43 PMTwitter for Android
Grandma just referred to my kid as "Our baby" Monday, May 04, 2020 9:49:04 AMTwitter for Android
For real though, why does all this crazy shit come from Asia? Earth: get your life together.

Invasive species (Asian longhorned beetle, stink bugs, murder hornets), corona viruses (SARS, Covid), tentacle porn... Christ Almighty. 		Monday, May 04, 2020 7:55:46 AMTwitter for Android
It's been a good run, you guys!
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, May 03, 2020 11:29:36 PMTwitter for Android
So this is the first time I've heard of murder hornets...

Remember when I never knew what a coronavirus was back in Jan? Boy, how the world's changed. Wtf is next? https://t.co/GJzZ7MIxrG 		Sunday, May 03, 2020 11:28:16 PMTwitter for Android
How is this not corruption

https://t.co/crFiUSqWL8 		Saturday, May 02, 2020 12:53:39 PMTwitter for Android
Dumb bastard. Can't take advice from the experts...

https://t.co/98aBFwgbRz 		Friday, May 01, 2020 11:13:40 PMTwitter for Android
I had to remove this riffraff from a dog poop station in my community. I mean, everyone's entitled to their opinions and Democrats are not perfect, but I can't get behind a "hamberger" eating, egomaniacal liar

Hillary's emails though. https://t.co/XtBJoAjeIH 		Wednesday, April 29, 2020 7:09:47 PMTwitter for Android
It never stops fucking raining Wednesday, April 29, 2020 8:39:42 AMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this asshole who has the entire driveway open but decides to block the sidewalk. This car has been here for months.

If my dog shits in your yard while I'm walking around your car, and I don't pick it up, it wasn't me https://t.co/YKwG10eAR0 		Monday, April 27, 2020 8:20:24 PMTwitter for Android
@karens_nips @ColumbusHealth Do you have better information? Please share.
In reply to @karens_nips's tweet
Sunday, April 26, 2020 5:05:06 PMTwitter for Android
@ColumbusHealth Can you actually believe in today's days of advanced science and medicine, that the President of the United States of America suggests such ridiculous things? 🤔
In reply to @ColumbusHealth's tweet
Sunday, April 26, 2020 11:50:28 AMTwitter for Android
@XtinaSchelin @henwoley @thehill Maybe he should do us all a favor and drink bleach
In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet
Friday, April 24, 2020 6:08:56 AMTwitter for Android
How about this guy! A Republican who is actually basing his decisions on science and not being blind follower of doofus Trump. Mad respect here @MikeDeWine https://t.co/9qjDKmZK7R Thursday, April 23, 2020 11:09:49 PMTwitter for Android
Don't know what a bar looks like anymore, you guys Thursday, April 23, 2020 10:24:24 PMTwitter for Android
Dr. Trump knows it all and will fire anyone who proves otherwise. Because, science! https://t.co/7VJfWsEip7 Thursday, April 23, 2020 7:13:16 AMTwitter for Android
Add smashed bottom right corner of my phone to the list of 2020 shit. I didn't even drop it. I have no idea how the fuck it happened other than I was putting up shelving and it was in my pocket Monday, April 20, 2020 7:35:16 PMTwitter for Android
I'm trying to mow my lawn and the neighbors are having a convo across the street. Feel like a dick if I start the mower but hurry the fuck up already Saturday, April 18, 2020 3:24:08 PMTwitter for Android
Also, we need a purge of the idiots.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, April 18, 2020 3:13:49 PMTwitter for Android
There are some really, really ignorant people in this country. Holy smokes... Normally, I'd say let the virus wipe them out, but this shit affects everyone so it's gotta go Saturday, April 18, 2020 3:13:21 PMTwitter for Android
Moved into an @mihomes house built 15 years ago and they used dollar store drywall. All of the corner drywall tape is peeling/cracking and there are a million screw pops. Amatuer hour. Saturday, April 18, 2020 12:06:42 AMTwitter for Android
You see how mentally unstable my recent tweets make me seem? Only difference is, I still have morals and I'm not the President of the United States. Friday, April 17, 2020 12:06:50 AMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Thanks. Hope all's well and you're all staying safe!
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Friday, April 17, 2020 12:05:09 AMTwitter for Android
@EPAAWheeler REMEMBER WHEN LAKE ERIE WENT ON FIRE? Your policies will lead to this type of pollution again.

You are awful and are a murderer. Your policies are killing minorities who live close to polluting power plants.

RESIGN
In reply to @EPAAWheeler's tweet
Thursday, April 16, 2020 9:12:28 PMTwitter for Android
ABOLISH THE @EPA

They are a cancer, controlled by the coal and oil lobbies. Why spend money on an agency that does nothing to protect the public?

https://t.co/KIuBT6JGM8 		Thursday, April 16, 2020 9:08:04 PMTwitter for Android
@SamSykesSwears Beat the shit out of @realDonaldTrump
In reply to @SamSykesSwears's tweet
Thursday, April 16, 2020 8:26:58 PMTwitter for Android
What the fuck else is it going to be this year Wednesday, April 15, 2020 11:04:27 PMTwitter for Android
@Waspito It's amazing
In reply to @Waspito's tweet
Wednesday, April 15, 2020 6:41:20 AMTwitter for Android
What else are you supposed to do https://t.co/ovSPrWcJDS Tuesday, April 14, 2020 8:58:14 AMTwitter for Android
They don't know where the fuck to put all the bodies, and you have delusional @realDonaldTrump holding 2 hour sessions sucking his own dick about how good he's handling the crisis while being extremely rude to anyone questioning his bullshit Tuesday, April 14, 2020 7:12:50 AMTwitter for Android
Welp, guess they'll die

https://t.co/MTh9l4GraF 		Monday, April 13, 2020 10:19:31 PMTwitter for Android
Maybe Jesus should just come back and end the world. Be like fuck what this turned into Sunday, April 12, 2020 11:31:34 AMTwitter for Android
Hope everyone has a happy fucked up Easter Sunday, April 12, 2020 11:31:02 AMTwitter for Android
Who'd've ever thunk Kevin McCallister's mom would be on a TV show wearing this ridiculous outfit in the year of our Lord 2020 https://t.co/t7LPwbi6oB Friday, April 10, 2020 11:43:11 PMTwitter for Android
Just caught up with the latest episode of Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist and I need a goddamn tranquilizer now Friday, April 10, 2020 11:36:18 PMTwitter for Android
Protip: use science and technology. Learn and share knowledge across health systems... Use AI to find correlations between variables t find what treatments work. Tech people need to build this now

Don't do something because some idiot doofus said to
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, April 10, 2020 11:15:11 PMTwitter for Android