9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Temporarily needed to go private because of crazy spammers | Thursday, September 10, 2015 9:22:42 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Good. Hope this hedge fund guy destroys them. Fuck Herbalife. I unfollowed someone for being obsessed with that shit http://t.co/rTBwOOUS4e | Wednesday, September 09, 2015 11:28:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Jeb Bush: your tie knot sucks. You're a failure at life. | Wednesday, September 09, 2015 12:28:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Dafuq is Colbert doing right now? Selling Hummus and doing weird myth shit #cuncel | Tuesday, September 08, 2015 11:52:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Get a load of this goofy ass looking search bar in the latest Google update. Phone looks like a cartoon now. http://t.co/P09N8ltnMl | Tuesday, September 08, 2015 11:42:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #lolmets with this Harvey pitch limit pussification. Yanks tried this before with the Joba Rule. That worked out swimmingly... | Tuesday, September 08, 2015 4:22:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Motherfucker's gonna cook some meth http://t.co/Tyd66VWuUK | Sunday, September 06, 2015 10:32:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It's 10am and I'm somewhere in between "fuckin hammered" and raging hangover | Sunday, September 06, 2015 10:22:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Reverend Pussy Popper | Sunday, September 06, 2015 2:27:10 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm awesome all the time... But especially after drinking. | Sunday, September 06, 2015 1:33:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "Took my tylenol off" -me. I meant tie #drunk | Sunday, September 06, 2015 1:14:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Legit I was within 500 feet of Paul O'Neil and no one told me. #fml In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, September 06, 2015 1:02:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| #fml In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Sunday, September 06, 2015 12:46:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Get the fuck out of here... I was in a park in Cincinnati for a wedding and motherfuckin Paul O'Neil was at another wedding | Sunday, September 06, 2015 12:46:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Just convinced an Uber driver to fit 7 people in a Chevy Cobalt. This would never fly in New York | Saturday, September 05, 2015 11:57:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They are moshing to Andrew WK at this wedding right now. #mystatus | Saturday, September 05, 2015 9:44:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My life is a joke. You can't even make this shit up | Saturday, September 05, 2015 6:50:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sick customer your fuckin ass. Get the asshole off the train and move along. | Friday, September 04, 2015 4:11:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MTA cunts | Friday, September 04, 2015 4:07:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck the fuckin MTA. Legit my last day in this city before vacation & they're being miserable cunts just turning fuckin local trains express | Friday, September 04, 2015 4:07:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @NYCTSubway why would you take a queens bound R train at queens plaza and turn it express? Rude. | Friday, September 04, 2015 4:01:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I've got a 10am with my VP and I usually roll in at like 10:30 son. #welpshit | Friday, September 04, 2015 12:06:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @sadserver: the first stage of deployment is "denial" | Thursday, September 03, 2015 10:50:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RAGEFEST | Wednesday, September 02, 2015 7:50:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @NYCTSubway that was earlier. One showed up but holy shit the MTA is going to make me leave new york In reply to @NYCTSubway's tweet | Wednesday, September 02, 2015 7:43:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @NYCTSubway 59th st In reply to @NYCTSubway's tweet | Wednesday, September 02, 2015 7:43:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @NYCTSubway WHY were there 5 Queens bound N/Q trains in a row? Some of us need the R. | Wednesday, September 02, 2015 7:34:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Watching gramps diagram our cabinet move is the most painful thing ever. | Tuesday, September 01, 2015 2:25:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu party animal. Guy goes to Miami and Vegas in one shot. #ballin' | Sunday, August 30, 2015 2:47:06 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Ordered Dominos at 12:40. It's still not here. The only acceptable excuse is the delivery guy died in a car accident. #cunts | Sunday, August 30, 2015 2:15:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| TREES @mscanlon32 @nickianora | Sunday, August 30, 2015 1:22:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My grandpa and I salute each other when we fart | Sunday, August 30, 2015 1:03:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Clogged the fuckin toilet at the bar. It was a single bathroom. #sorrynotsorrygetbetterplumbingishitalot | Sunday, August 30, 2015 12:35:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @BadPointer LOL you know. And wow I shouldn't have tweeted that. In reply to @BadPointer's tweet | Saturday, August 29, 2015 5:22:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm gonna make sure some bitch McAsshole knows that the guy he fired who told him to fuck off helped me solve this critical issue. #cunts | Saturday, August 29, 2015 3:01:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck what you jokers think I am | Saturday, August 29, 2015 2:55:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This world is donezo | Saturday, August 29, 2015 2:34:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You know what's sick about Alanis Morisette? My boy Taylor Hawkins was her drummer before he was in Foo Fighters | Saturday, August 29, 2015 1:34:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My life is awesome and yours sucks | Saturday, August 29, 2015 1:27:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Key change! | Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:29:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My heart will go I karaoke... So Titanic | Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:28:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Haven't had that spirit here since 1969 | Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:16:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I think my boy Vinny needs to bang the bartender | Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:03:58 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm down with the bartender karaoke-ing You Oughtta Know. #jussayin | Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:02:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Kenny's got the chocolat | Saturday, August 29, 2015 12:00:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Also F- job on the picture courtesy of the 2013 Moto X camera. | Friday, August 28, 2015 10:46:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dick parking move. The other bike parked between cars http://t.co/9CjzaEFTTC | Friday, August 28, 2015 10:46:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just watched the NYPD come out of an undercover van and raid a deli #butineededbeertho | Friday, August 28, 2015 8:06:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| ORLY Brian? George is spinning in his grave. http://t.co/JTNFM19qJY | Thursday, August 27, 2015 11:07:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Samsung Sucks! I don't recommend them http://t.co/UKLv3o5aOZ | Wednesday, August 26, 2015 11:59:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @RockNationRadio http://t.co/vkIeuuVd4U | Wednesday, August 26, 2015 8:22:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @XtinaSchelin Tool just came on at the bar and we were leaving and I was rocking out | Tuesday, August 25, 2015 10:33:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BadPointer @MalJNew sixteen eights In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Tuesday, August 25, 2015 10:15:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Went to go out for a drink. Ended up hammered. | Tuesday, August 25, 2015 10:14:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BarstoolJJ cuncel. My gf is a fuckin Indians fan and I got my ass embarrassed. In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet | Tuesday, August 25, 2015 9:58:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BadPointer "@MalJNew - your fractions suck a cock" | Tuesday, August 25, 2015 9:57:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @GadsdenMarc This is why I support Deez Nuts for president 2016! In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Tuesday, August 25, 2015 9:17:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @GadsdenMarc USA is so far gone it almost doesn't matter anymore In reply to @GadsdenMarc's tweet | Tuesday, August 25, 2015 8:34:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel da Yankees | Tuesday, August 25, 2015 8:33:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| For real though. I thought Harlem was like being gentrified and shit by hipsters. Thought it was on the up and up. For sure not | Monday, August 24, 2015 5:59:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I saw no less than 10 people who probably OD'd on heroin, it smells like piss, people try to sell you everything and it's filthy. | Monday, August 24, 2015 5:57:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I might actually die here. | Monday, August 24, 2015 5:55:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| HOLY CHRIST, Harlem is a fucking shithole. I thought Bloombito and Giuliani had this all cleaned up. | Monday, August 24, 2015 5:55:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| See, told ya Samsung sucks http://t.co/QndcmQYWxf #android #feedly | Sunday, August 23, 2015 3:44:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @NYCTSubway you should fix the AC on 6 train car 7579 by door R1/R2. It's dripping legionnaires infested water all over the place | Sunday, August 23, 2015 2:49:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #BAEROD | Friday, August 21, 2015 10:10:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| LOL... I meant to text this to @RockNationRadio and tweeted it by accident. A crazy... In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Friday, August 21, 2015 5:18:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Uptown 4 from grand Central. 4. Don't get on the 5 | Friday, August 21, 2015 9:51:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Someone please make a gif of that meme with those pixelated glasses dropping down over this image: Deal. With. It. https://t.co/4VOdEaenPX | Friday, August 21, 2015 1:31:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| David Justice is probably talking shit about how I can't get his boo that he doesn't even realize I've gotten now. #fuckalexeybear | Friday, August 21, 2015 12:36:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| David Justice is now talking shit about the pale girl with he black guy. | Friday, August 21, 2015 12:30:18 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I listened to the entire Alice in Chains Facelift album this morning and I forgot how absolute badass it was. | Friday, August 21, 2015 12:04:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean.. Everyone at my company's celebrating people leaving and we've been drinking for 6 hours already | Friday, August 21, 2015 12:00:15 AM | Twitter for Android |
| "Fuck Alexeybear I wanna be your boo!" -David Justice looking ember.js guy | Thursday, August 20, 2015 11:59:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 78% chance I did. Everyone was staring at me with mad eyes but I still don't know | Thursday, August 20, 2015 11:57:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I may or may not have shattered a glass at the bar tonight but I really can't remember | Thursday, August 20, 2015 11:55:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh word... 10yrs ago I was chillin with the pope in Germany | Thursday, August 20, 2015 11:32:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck we lose to the last place Indians for @MalJNew | Thursday, August 20, 2015 10:52:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I need to get the fuck out of this deBlasio ruined, bum infested, cesspool of a city. | Monday, August 17, 2015 1:15:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cunts http://t.co/ep7J54k77Q | Monday, August 17, 2015 1:14:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Remember that time I confused two white people at the Willie Nelson concert? | Friday, August 14, 2015 11:29:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Once again, what kind of idiot asshole picks the stall next to you in the shitter when they're all empty. Buffer zone, bro. | Wednesday, August 12, 2015 10:59:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm a Special Ed on these drums. davidddddddddd come show me some things | Monday, August 10, 2015 9:27:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This Metro North train is rocking so violently im seasick. I don't even get seasick | Saturday, August 08, 2015 10:59:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Bums all over this shithole city. Bill: get lawst http://t.co/9HMiboq5bs | Friday, August 07, 2015 7:18:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ Google Hangouts. Made a WiFi call on it and the person couldn't hear dick | Thursday, August 06, 2015 8:20:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Docent_Steve One year ago hahaha. Plus, you found it and called me out on it! http://t.co/E5tIQ4ipVg | Thursday, August 06, 2015 8:02:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I guess we finally figured out we needed to fire the director of frontend after the whole frontend team quit. #toolate #jokeshop | Wednesday, August 05, 2015 2:38:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 @nyJULZmd nah, Yanks are winning it all. Arod for World Series MVP | Monday, August 03, 2015 9:07:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Moto X 2015 is Better Than iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus in Terms of Camera" http://t.co/0DcDrmZVJH @MalJNew suck it | Monday, August 03, 2015 4:09:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Fantasy_Mania I'll be Lessahhhhds in person proxy for his team picks In reply to @Fantasy_Mania's tweet | Saturday, August 01, 2015 3:33:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Whenever this cheating bitch is out with us, it destroys my hope for society | Friday, July 31, 2015 12:23:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yeah wifeys giving the side piece the runaround for sure #bluestravleler | Thursday, July 30, 2015 11:09:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_Help put a space between the username & who you're replying to so it doesn't show up in everyone's feeds and the person gets the tweet | Thursday, July 30, 2015 11:00:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Crushin karaoke, bitches. Maybe I'm a little drunk but my voice is stellar right now. #modest | Thursday, July 30, 2015 10:53:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cheating wifey over here judging my boy for being a player. JEEZ | Thursday, July 30, 2015 9:11:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, CC. Way to blow a 3-0 lead, useless bitch | Thursday, July 30, 2015 8:47:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @RockNationRadio what is the one thing MeatLoaf wouldn't do for love? | Thursday, July 30, 2015 8:29:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @RockNationRadio if I hear oh Sherrie or Rosanna one more time I'm jumping off the world trade #jk In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet | Thursday, July 30, 2015 8:05:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Vinny's jukebox selection is 80s vagina music. #pukecity | Thursday, July 30, 2015 7:50:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How pissed is wifey that her side piece is flirtin tho. Hahhahah | Thursday, July 30, 2015 7:26:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They're waiting for the winter to freeze the Β ice Β for my coolatta at dunkins #moovit | Tuesday, July 28, 2015 11:59:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I legit lugged three laptops home from the bar #felloffthetruck #justkidding | Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:24:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| .@MTA why would you cunts only open one lane on the 59th St. bridge? No ones even fuckin working. Grease that union shitheads | Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:10:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Sorry, not into Queen. Only one ever not into it. Sorry not sorry. | Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:06:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I have to release software at 7am tho | Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:00:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Although Vinny, Lanny and Mal are all smoking cigarettes in the cab for an extra negotiated tip. Gross, bit not BO | Tuesday, July 28, 2015 12:00:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| So 11k? Not 56k? | Monday, July 27, 2015 11:59:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck. I think I did the math wrong http://t.co/J6Q3ZaK5fN | Monday, July 27, 2015 11:59:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cabbie is ripe right now. By ripe? Onions. By onions? BO aka no deodorant. | Monday, July 27, 2015 11:52:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm drunk and doing math and tweeting at NASA to confirm my New Horizons data rate. Need to get my life together #geek | Monday, July 27, 2015 10:36:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @NASA @NASANewHorizons is this correct? We can get almost double 56k back from New Horizons? http://t.co/xnVrvZ9eQo | Monday, July 27, 2015 10:35:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Can we get a puppy? @MalJNew | Monday, July 27, 2015 10:30:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just realized it's only Monday and I'm already at the bar | Monday, July 27, 2015 9:20:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo barkeep. Stop talking to broad barkeep and get me a drink. | Monday, July 27, 2015 8:53:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| .@NYCTSubway I can crawl backwards on broken glass faster than the southbound 4/5 in Manhattan. How dare your status says good service. | Monday, July 27, 2015 9:02:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My boy Danny's here. Borderline degenerate. It's like we're in Wildwood, except we're in Queens | Friday, July 24, 2015 9:25:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, CC. You suck at life | Friday, July 24, 2015 8:29:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just crashed a taxi's point of sale by trying to pay with @googlewallet / NFC on my phone. Buggy POS (pun intended) | Thursday, July 23, 2015 11:51:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I fuckin hate Serge | Tuesday, July 21, 2015 10:57:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm not pissing next to these two suits. | Tuesday, July 21, 2015 10:37:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Let's all go to the bar and take body shots off Vinny | Tuesday, July 21, 2015 9:24:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I take one lens out so I can wink at bitches" http://t.co/cfya7o5Ap3 | Tuesday, July 21, 2015 8:32:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Confirmed: The Minion in the McDonalds happy meal does indeed say "what the fuck." | Saturday, July 18, 2015 9:48:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dat show tho. I just | Thursday, July 16, 2015 11:41:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I cannot believe I'm seeing my bff Dave and the awesome Foo Fighters at Citifield. Zomgz | Thursday, July 16, 2015 8:34:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cabbie legit floored it over a double yellow line to pass someone @MalJNew | Wednesday, July 15, 2015 10:20:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why did the @googlecalendar Android app use 18% of my battery today and I didn't even open it once. Come on http://t.co/MLvjTUd0hL | Wednesday, July 15, 2015 3:00:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Google really needs to organize their emoji menu better on Android on the grounds that I can NEVER find the poop emoji. Why's it with faces? | Wednesday, July 15, 2015 12:32:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "She should've kept on the bottle" -@MalJNew | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:55:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Great excuse: I'd do it but I'm gonna be camping that day | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:54:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Did Tex do a little grab ass or am I seeing things? @BarstoolJJ | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:41:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cincinasty | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:27:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This fucking guy there like 8 pitches and is averaging over a hundo. Just threw 103 | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:25:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This motherfucker's throwing 102 | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 11:24:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ken Rosenthal is awful | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 10:40:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew don't get murdered | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 10:29:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 guy's got fantastic hair | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 10:29:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| These fuckups http://t.co/yLFvPAJGMH | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 8:45:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_Help Why is my internet out? | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 8:31:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| NBD, just gonna fly by Pluto in a few hours. #NewHorizons #NASANewHorizons | Tuesday, July 14, 2015 12:39:50 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'd also commit crimes to be at an Everclear concert right now | Saturday, July 11, 2015 12:16:30 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm sorry, but ain't nothing better than coming home from school in '98, throwing on VH1 and watching Semisonic's Closing Time. | Saturday, July 11, 2015 12:14:09 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Soccer players are just the hottest. Hey @MalJNew didn't you play soccer? yeahhhhhhhhhhpppp | Friday, July 10, 2015 11:58:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude. Just realized I've been working with php since like 2002 and v 4x... I'm an antique... | Friday, July 10, 2015 9:57:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bells. I can't even get drunk anymore off beer but it gets you drunk | Friday, July 10, 2015 8:39:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "You dumb but you a bitch" | Friday, July 10, 2015 8:37:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| DUMB BITCH | Friday, July 10, 2015 8:36:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 yes. My mom saves anything I ever touched in our attic | Thursday, July 09, 2015 7:53:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @XtinaSchelin very good point. I'm a paranoia. I'm public and I take marketing g accounts that follow me and make them unfollow me In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet | Wednesday, July 08, 2015 10:05:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @XtinaSchelin why is that an issue? You need to accept people to follow you if you're private In reply to @XtinaSchelin's tweet | Wednesday, July 08, 2015 9:53:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You can take summer and shove it with this heat and humidity. Give me fall and winter any day | Wednesday, July 08, 2015 9:45:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 6 trains going the other way though #fuckingmta | Wednesday, July 08, 2015 8:50:49 AM | Twitter for Android |
| First day back. 0 trains showing up and there's some parade for women's soccer to get in my way | Wednesday, July 08, 2015 8:50:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Got some drink coupons I have no business having | Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:20:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Protip: phones done interfere with airplane electronics | Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:14:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Not in airplane mode and were taking off. Sue me | Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:13:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| LaGuardia airport ranked worst airport in all of the US of A. | Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:11:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ladies and gentlemen.... New York. Greatest city in the world with the world's worst infrastructure. | Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:10:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pilot: "Delay is due to air traffic issues at LaGuardia. They do this to us all the time" Not thunderstorms ya fuckin cunts | Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:10:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Couple issues on this flight: 1) I already broke the seal. 2) I smell like a bar and there's a kid next to me I'm a bad influence towards | Tuesday, July 07, 2015 5:03:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @TylerMJones @tomwcleary we should've just let them secede from the union In reply to @TylerMJones's tweet | Tuesday, July 07, 2015 4:52:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Flight got delayed so I accidentally went to the brewery and drank a lot | Tuesday, July 07, 2015 4:47:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @Fantasy_Mania Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west A state that's untouchable likeΒ ... http://t.co/sbrq8PLUNZ | Sunday, July 05, 2015 10:30:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Good lookin' guy, that Ben Affleck | Sunday, July 05, 2015 9:58:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| ππΊπΈπ Murica! ππΊπΈπ https://t.co/hikIFGpo5P | Saturday, July 04, 2015 10:40:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| What the hell is up with Android and its American flag emoji that displays as two blue letters saying "U S" | Saturday, July 04, 2015 10:36:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @BarstoolJJ what a see you next Tuesday In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet | Saturday, July 04, 2015 10:29:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's 2015 in a civilized country and we've got people dying from measles. Murrica | Friday, July 03, 2015 4:49:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 2012 Nexus 7 runs like absolute asshole on Lollipop. Maybe 6.0 will fix this? http://t.co/kW0GydOlKM #android #feedly | Friday, July 03, 2015 4:37:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @GadsdenMarc out of curiosity, who do you support the most right now in the GOP for 2016? In reply to @GadsdenMarc's tweet | Friday, July 03, 2015 4:12:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @RockNationRadio Awesome!! If you can get the recording, I'd love to hear it someday In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet | Friday, July 03, 2015 4:08:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @RockNationRadio also excellent In reply to @RockNationRadio's tweet | Friday, July 03, 2015 3:55:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| SiriusXM 34: Lithium. Makes me all like ππππ @RockNationRadio | Friday, July 03, 2015 3:39:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| *seeing In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, July 02, 2015 10:04:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mind is beyond blown that we're finally sein Pluto for the first time. Soooo cooollll http://t.co/y1tLF7Jyqz #space #feedly | Thursday, July 02, 2015 10:00:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @RMerlinDev Is there a way to reset my openvpn config? After a few upgrades, I cannot get DNS to resolve anymore when connected | Thursday, July 02, 2015 9:48:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| For real, Oman and Qatar get updates before the US? That's just jacked up. @Motorola | Wednesday, July 01, 2015 2:08:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Absolutely absurd that this update hit like every country except the US. Murrica ain't at the top anymore π http://t.co/jlixiAJD1B | Wednesday, July 01, 2015 2:06:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Wouldn't kill them to turn the AC up a little bit at LaGuardia, Murrica's worst ranked airport | Wednesday, July 01, 2015 11:10:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I picked tonight as my drinking night because I have an extra leap second to sober up, cunts. | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 10:48:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| MFK: Freddy's girl, Gio's girl Or Haas' side girl? | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 9:27:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Tonight we are all conductors | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 9:10:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pour one out for Vinny. Got my conductor hat on. | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 9:08:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I believe in gay pride, not gay shots" -Father Gio | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:53:47 PM | Twitter for Android |
| NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN ππππ π π π€ | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:45:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo Haas. Nice job on the cumad | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:35:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Murrica. Go soccer... Or whatnot | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:32:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's women's soccer. No one cares | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:20:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why is it that every girl I texted to hang with us at the bar wants to s Vinny's d? | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:05:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 7:28:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If you don't think I'm going to bikini bar at 4, you're sadly mistaken. Yes I'm working today. Yes, I did more than my whole team combined. | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 1:52:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "She was dating this guy with thick black glasses" -@MalJNew | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 1:42:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This Kim Jung Un looking motherfucker should walk faster and get out of my way on the sidewalk | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 12:55:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| A+ mix from the All-Star Rapalong category on @GooglePlayMusic. Happy Tuesday! http://t.co/22uP5hosd5 | Tuesday, June 30, 2015 8:31:26 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit makes no sense In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, June 29, 2015 9:57:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #Wishing you have received it by the end up in a couple weeks and then delete the message was sent from the airport to pick it is addressed | Monday, June 29, 2015 9:57:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| In my next tweet, I will pick a word and let my dictionary suggest the next word and see what sentence it makes... | Monday, June 29, 2015 9:56:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Aren't you glad that instead of sleeping in you're riding around with me in a UHaul." YES Pat, I am. | Saturday, June 27, 2015 9:22:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The one time I bring lunch these fucking cunts clean the fridge and throw it out | Friday, June 26, 2015 1:34:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I can see Phil Jackson or the Dolans getting into some hot water with the Latvian mob and forced to draft that kid. "Draft or we keel you." | Friday, June 26, 2015 8:33:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Remember that time in college when I destroyed a guy's Confederate flag? I must have been ahead of my time. | Thursday, June 25, 2015 7:18:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| To the gentleman wheeling around a mini fridge on the subway during rush hour earlier: You're an asshole. | Wednesday, June 24, 2015 7:31:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I have to take a huge shit and this meeting has ko end in sight. | Thursday, June 18, 2015 4:17:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Halfway through this juice cleanse and it's already coming out the same way it's going in. | Wednesday, June 17, 2015 10:21:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Someone care to explain to me why this toilet seat needs to be plugged in? http://t.co/Ml81832RLM | Monday, June 15, 2015 8:47:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Two 60+ yr old cougars just asked us if there were any cops on the beach. | Saturday, June 13, 2015 1:05:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Waitress at the breakfast spot with the "I love sausage" shirt made me lolz. Yeah ya do gurrrl | Friday, June 12, 2015 10:30:34 AM | Twitter for Android |
| All the rage in south Jersey and Philly. 5.9% abv root beer. Tastes like normal root beer. Next fireball. Watch http://t.co/4ZM5w3umvo | Thursday, June 11, 2015 8:09:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @_Frankalank: Is bae short for bacon or is that just a coincidence? | Thursday, June 11, 2015 7:30:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just ate a frozen Charleston Chew off the floor. Get on my level | Thursday, June 11, 2015 7:30:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu NOPE. So proprietary and suitlike. | Thursday, June 11, 2015 7:26:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @kerbear88 NO. NO. NO. Went down the shore. Fuck NYC when its 90 In reply to @kerbear88's tweet | Thursday, June 11, 2015 6:56:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just accidentally drunkenly threw my FAV red starburst off this balcony and princess @MalJNew got it for me | Thursday, June 11, 2015 6:55:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| We're blasting Mary J. Blige. Blow me. | Thursday, June 11, 2015 6:50:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Joe. You're a delightful mess" | Thursday, June 11, 2015 6:42:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @mustang_sarah @google @googlecalendar doesn't happen on Android In reply to @mustang_sarah's tweet | Thursday, June 11, 2015 4:07:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My next phone might have a USB-C port!!! Fuck all this micro USB 2006 shit where they wear out and aren't reversible | Thursday, June 11, 2015 1:23:39 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @thomaswood @MTA yes they are. Even Chicago does contactless payments In reply to @thomaswood's tweet | Tuesday, June 09, 2015 4:36:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Just figured it out. My Twitter is the Amanda Bynes meltdown equivalent, except in the tech industry. | Tuesday, June 09, 2015 4:31:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_NYNJ holy hell it's working again by some kind of quantum chromodynamics theory or something In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Tuesday, June 09, 2015 2:26:23 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_NYNJ why does your service suck? I just had two techs here last week and verified all lines splitters and signals were good. COME ON In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Tuesday, June 09, 2015 2:19:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_NYNJ My next bill better be free. You keep doing remediations but I'd rather have working internet and you not hear from me. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Tuesday, June 09, 2015 2:16:46 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_NYNJ this is a complete joke at this point. I cannot get one week of stable internet access In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Tuesday, June 09, 2015 2:12:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @TWC_NYNJ Are you guys absolutely for real? ANOTHER OUTAGE? I am in the middle if a very important maintenance for work | Tuesday, June 09, 2015 2:10:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| AXELROD | Saturday, June 06, 2015 9:15:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I get to take a drink girl back to Regis. Said me never from 2006-2010 | Saturday, June 06, 2015 12:17:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @_Frankalank: It's no coincidence that the people who work the hardest are the most successful. | Friday, June 05, 2015 11:06:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| THE PECAN SANDIES ARE AT THE LEVEE AND IF THEY DON'T PLAY AEROPLANES I WILL RIOT | Friday, June 05, 2015 10:18:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I may or may not have clogged a Regis already. | Friday, June 05, 2015 9:27:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They decided to give us lunch every other week. Today is sausage day, and Russian women always get mistranslated: http://t.co/4fh7pAkE1U | Friday, June 05, 2015 1:49:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew suck it so hard. You got all the backup | Wednesday, June 03, 2015 10:07:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I might actually die in this cab. Didn't have fireball and this shit smells like fireball | Wednesday, June 03, 2015 9:53:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Son of a bitch. Toppi just made me do another Jameson | Wednesday, June 03, 2015 9:23:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Yo. If I die sitting in a table, write 'Pussy' on my tombstone" -Nick | Wednesday, June 03, 2015 8:29:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Every. Single. Day. With these Subway delays. @NYCTSubway | Tuesday, June 02, 2015 8:33:20 AM | Twitter for Android |
| OMG. @MalJNew is the bestest! Came home from work and have a full bday dinner ready. Cold antipasta, salad, pasta and bracciole! NOMS | Monday, June 01, 2015 7:49:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @NYCTSubway suck a dick that nothing is running right this morning. You guys are useless | Monday, June 01, 2015 9:22:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew Joshie and I are the MOST soaked | Sunday, May 31, 2015 5:13:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew @KFCBarstool Big Sexy's RBI double was everything I wanted and more | Sunday, May 31, 2015 4:18:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Google's Internal Code Name For Smart Lock Passwords Is YOLO, You Only Login Once" http://t.co/A2hS52Tx5X @__JLu | Sunday, May 31, 2015 8:22:56 AM | Twitter for Android |
| BED FINALLY. If I get another alert this weekend, I will punch every single person in the face at work on Monday. | Sunday, May 31, 2015 3:06:18 AM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @NYC_LTrain: That's the spa car, you ungrateful tweet whining dolt. https://t.co/dOIMZqLFuE | Saturday, May 30, 2015 8:36:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @NYCTSubway L train car 8193 has no A/C. Take it out of service and fix it you fare raising inferior fools. | Saturday, May 30, 2015 7:42:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| π΅Went to the station caught a boat downtown. I hope it doesn't fall off the track and I drownπ΅ | Friday, May 29, 2015 8:11:11 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @BarstoolJJ Got an AJ Burnett #34 jersey once. At least his name wasn't on it. In reply to @BarstoolJJ's tweet | Thursday, May 28, 2015 7:16:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Bitch put the AC on in this cab. Too bougie for this hot sticky shit | Thursday, May 28, 2015 12:58:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The fact that I'm not at this shit means I work at a piece of shit fake wannabe startup. https://t.co/mJRh0u9DSn | Thursday, May 28, 2015 12:35:18 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @portfolioso I realize I spelled it wrong but whatever In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, May 28, 2015 12:32:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| 7:30aontenance and I'm still reluctantly at the fuckin bar | Thursday, May 28, 2015 12:27:38 AM | Twitter for Android |
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