9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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| Tweet | Date | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Yo @twitter... Y U show me the same ad back to back in my feed? https://t.co/g79fnxHZ7F | Thursday, January 14, 2016 9:27:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I hate people whose hands slide down the pole and then they touch your hand. Get lost | Tuesday, January 12, 2016 9:36:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Please kill yourself for taking a bike on the subway during rush hour and also leaning on the pole. | Tuesday, January 12, 2016 9:17:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| That's as cocky as it gets.... In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, January 11, 2016 11:22:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Theeeeeeeeeee. @portfolioso wins! https://t.co/ZWvRvOPKCC In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Monday, January 11, 2016 11:21:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I gotta beat this fuckin guy in Quoridor. Straight up Yanks/Sox shit here. | Monday, January 11, 2016 10:48:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jupiter and Saturn are bright this fine morn. | Monday, January 11, 2016 6:53:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Place is effed... https://t.co/jlpb7dY2RF | Sunday, January 10, 2016 4:03:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mood: pumped for these guys at Gov Ball. https://t.co/JNL2Eu3F0P | Sunday, January 10, 2016 12:10:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| What's the deal with this pirate Skeletor R train conductor announcer? https://t.co/ybeqUOQeoM | Saturday, January 09, 2016 11:32:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The entire WTC E station smells like bums and piss @NYCTSubway | Friday, January 08, 2016 5:50:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dafuq is the point of an express 4/5 train when it bumbles along at 2mph and the local 6 on the other track is faster even stopping locally | Thursday, January 07, 2016 5:55:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The fucking MTA | Wednesday, January 06, 2016 8:42:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking MTA. The minute it's lower than 31.9°, all the fuckin rails break. | Tuesday, January 05, 2016 6:22:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's currently colder in NYC than the northern tip of Alaska (which is usually -20 or less). #globalwarming | Tuesday, January 05, 2016 8:25:32 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Linkedin sends too many fuckin emails, holy shit. | Tuesday, January 05, 2016 7:15:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| LaGuardia Airport really needs to reevaluate the way they handle the taxi dispatch stand. | Sunday, January 03, 2016 9:36:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Spirit is absolutely one of the most absurd airlines ever | Sunday, January 03, 2016 5:44:15 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I know a girl called Elsa She's into Alka Seltzer She sniffs it through a cane on a supersonic train She made me laugh | Friday, January 01, 2016 2:08:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think @MalJNew literally broke her ass. I know it's an expression I use a lot, but she may actually have a fractured coccyx. | Friday, January 01, 2016 11:38:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The fuck happened last night? | Friday, January 01, 2016 11:34:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Haven't been sober in 2016 yet. Woke up. Threw up a meatball or two and then had a mimosa. | Friday, January 01, 2016 11:17:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Spirit airlines charges you to fucking sneeze. They can eat a dick | Friday, January 01, 2016 5:06:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My man crush Paul O'Neill dapper AF this new year's https://t.co/i8YGkE2arp | Thursday, December 31, 2015 8:52:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Welp. Already broke the seal | Thursday, December 31, 2015 8:52:01 PM | Twitter for Android |
| An absolute G https://t.co/L3uhCE3Kc0 | Monday, December 28, 2015 11:05:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Not a Motörhead song, but had to post this in honor of Lemmy: https://t.co/4Img5l9Cxg | Monday, December 28, 2015 8:37:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Judge Judy is a fuckin G | Monday, December 28, 2015 4:25:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This dude on The People's Court keeps pronouncing the jugular, "jiggala" | Monday, December 28, 2015 3:48:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck uTorrent and their spyware ways... Use qBittorrent. "uTorrent Has Banned ‘Sexy’ NSFW Ads This Year, And More" https://t.co/gkywT7ehPg | Sunday, December 27, 2015 3:53:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Everyone's gone soft! The UK is going to ruin encryption to protect against cyberbullies? This is idiotic logic https://t.co/yqXqQYbozS | Sunday, December 27, 2015 9:33:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Comcast is so full of shit. What good is gigabit internet if they limit your monthly bandwidth to 300GB? https://t.co/DBHvunNyrj | Saturday, December 26, 2015 11:20:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Me right now... #globalwarmingsucks https://t.co/XXRmAxlbMh | Friday, December 25, 2015 11:01:42 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's legit Christmas and the fact that I needed to go outside for air and am comfortable in a short sleeve shirt is global warming bullshit. | Friday, December 25, 2015 9:50:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pizza boy is a really shitty driver in Home Alone | Friday, December 25, 2015 5:24:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dear @Foursquare, I don’t want something. I want somewhere. https://t.co/FPcZRfzwOK | Friday, December 25, 2015 12:10:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Billyjune88 Merry Christmas ya filthy animal In reply to @Billyjune88's tweet | Thursday, December 24, 2015 10:58:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's December 23rd and we need air conditioning. Cunts. | Wednesday, December 23, 2015 5:26:53 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, thank Jeebus for the air conditioning they have blasting on this Metro North train. | Wednesday, December 23, 2015 5:26:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Peace the fuck out NYC. I don't have deal with your filth, bums and crowds until next week. | Wednesday, December 23, 2015 5:25:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's a legit jungle on the 5 train. 100% humidity and like 85. 1) put the A/C on. 2) this warm winter bullshit needs to end | Wednesday, December 23, 2015 5:15:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This priest on Good Day NY is a gangster | Wednesday, December 23, 2015 9:05:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| What in the actual hell is mencil soup? | Tuesday, December 22, 2015 2:02:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Fantasy_Mania pusheen deez nuts In reply to @Fantasy_Mania's tweet | Tuesday, December 22, 2015 1:23:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Barney: "This one time I fucked a girl... I busted her bed frame." Me: "..." Barney: "And she paid for it..." | Monday, December 21, 2015 1:49:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| We just did harmony to Mumford and Sons now | Monday, December 21, 2015 1:23:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I just had a really great fart | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:52:00 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo @Fantasy_Mania, how's @Lessard_Eric's team I picked for him doing? I don't understand the sports matches. | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:44:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| So now I'm going in none of those days. #eatadickdotinfo | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:40:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Got comp days new yrs week. Asked if I could switch one for tomorrow & would go in a day next week when I shouldn't have... they said nah | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:40:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| So I took a PTO tomorrow because they can go fuck themselves. | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:37:22 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Before you judge me for being a wreckless drunk, I already took tomorrow off, so relax. I'm a responsible professional. | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:35:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Now just grabbed arms with the Barney and sang Coldplay with him.......... | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:19:53 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I've got a really awesome @MalJNew | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:15:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This guy is legit Barney from the Simpsons at the bar right now... Sounds just as brain damaged. Poor guy | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:09:05 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm okay with these belligerent drunks at the bar playing nothing but The Doors on the jukebox | Monday, December 21, 2015 12:06:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Vinny's 27th retrospective... | Sunday, December 20, 2015 11:39:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's December 17th. I shouldn't be in a spring jacket sweating bullets on the fucking subway | Thursday, December 17, 2015 11:11:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck China and their polluting ass bitches causing global warming and shit. | Thursday, December 17, 2015 11:09:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's too motherfucking hot out. Cunts | Thursday, December 17, 2015 11:07:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's not that I'm a fan of the Biebs. It's just that in reality, guy probably has a python. | Thursday, December 17, 2015 3:34:14 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Someone said the Biebs had a small dick at the bar and I accidentally vehemently defended him. | Thursday, December 17, 2015 3:23:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "Tequila makes my clothes fall off" - @MalJNew | Thursday, December 17, 2015 2:57:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Rumor that Google is removing SMS from Hangouts... Hangouts is a disaster. If they ruin messenger too, I'll be pissed. | Thursday, December 17, 2015 10:52:37 AM | Twitter for Android |
| It's too fucking hot outside | Thursday, December 17, 2015 10:48:13 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I still don't get the difference between HBO Go and HBO Now... Why couldn't they just sell subscriptions & login through GO? | Wednesday, December 16, 2015 2:42:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "This Warm Winter Bullshit Absolutely Sucks" https://t.co/2Cuq3GdvOT | Tuesday, December 15, 2015 8:54:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My eyes are itching from the fucking cat in this apartment and I still don't have my hot dog. | Sunday, December 13, 2015 8:22:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fucking global warming. Someone put the AC on, its hot as balls in here | Sunday, December 13, 2015 7:42:35 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You ignorant, science non-believing hick assed motherfuckers... this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard https://t.co/emZXMGFFnm | Sunday, December 13, 2015 7:27:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Lemmie get a hot dog?! | Sunday, December 13, 2015 7:06:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Um. I still want a hot dog really bad and no one is taking me seriously. Or one of those ballpark Primo's sausage and peppers. | Sunday, December 13, 2015 6:53:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sausage and peppers, ya fuckin cunts https://t.co/g6qZHv2DRI | Sunday, December 13, 2015 3:45:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu I'll eat the shit out of either of those. | Sunday, December 13, 2015 3:44:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| It's like summer out. Someone barbecue me a hot dog. | Sunday, December 13, 2015 3:30:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I want a hot dog | Sunday, December 13, 2015 3:29:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel da winter | Sunday, December 13, 2015 10:42:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This SantaCon is going to be awesome on the grounds that it's like 65, so there will be tons of slut Santas and slut elves on the loose. | Saturday, December 12, 2015 1:44:28 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Problem with kids today is that they're not watching Rocket Power on Nickelodeon. | Thursday, December 10, 2015 9:44:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pluto's pretty sweet https://t.co/wi2onGzFQp | Thursday, December 10, 2015 8:08:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| We're unwrapping Vinny's present now | Thursday, December 10, 2015 8:06:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @NYCTSubway stand on the fucking platform yourselves instead of some social media office and then tell me there's good service. In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:18:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Good service your mother's asshole @NYCTSubway https://t.co/pzIiFVVaUW | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:13:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Why you send 2 Queens R trains in a row @ 59th st and then 10 more mins for the next overcrowded Q? @NYCTSubway | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:13:00 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel New York City. I hate it. Get me out of here. Fucking shithole. | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:10:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Seriously. Two days in a row with the R running like asshole: getting stuck for 20 mins; diverting to the M line. Fuckouttahea #MTA | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:09:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The entire N/Q/R line sucks 12 dicks @NYCTSubway | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 6:06:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mastered the art of falling asleep standing up on the subway where my leg starts collapsing and I spazz wake up and scare people. | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 5:56:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Will you fuckers stop ruining the Earth? I want my snow in December and this is why we can't have it. https://t.co/qVpfL7QXD9 | Wednesday, December 09, 2015 11:03:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| There's a dude blasting Latin music on his phone in the shitter stall next to me. And not a single fuck was given that day! | Monday, December 07, 2015 10:24:33 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Besides the new San Fran Apple TV flyby, Apple TV screensaver is lame as fuck and repeats the save 7 pics over and over. #chromecastftw | Sunday, December 06, 2015 8:16:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I want a cheeseburger | Sunday, December 06, 2015 7:57:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Someone said 1988 was 100,000 years ago. Not sure how I feel about this now... | Sunday, December 06, 2015 7:57:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If you have to punch a spider in the face, it's probably too big of a spider... | Sunday, December 06, 2015 7:36:51 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I remember the day Whitney died. I was with you. It's like when JFK died, for older people" -@MichaelShatin | Sunday, December 06, 2015 1:28:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| "I hate the smell of a sneeze. It's like arthritis on the tongue" -@MichaelShatin | Sunday, December 06, 2015 12:01:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I pulled the recovery for Scott Wieland | Friday, December 04, 2015 3:09:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Ima go buy some fine rugs whilst my dude @__JLu is at Cactus Crossfit https://t.co/LbVi0oaj2i | Friday, December 04, 2015 2:08:16 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Um. Whoever played Carly Rae Jepsen at the bar on this, the day of Scott Wieland passing is an asshole. | Friday, December 04, 2015 1:51:35 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Cue the STP on the jukebox | Friday, December 04, 2015 1:32:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Just found out from @MalJNew Scott Wieland kicked it. My first reaction "Jesus fucking Christ I knew that'd happen at some point" | Friday, December 04, 2015 1:32:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This meandering motherfucker needs to pick a lane to walk in and get out of my way. | Monday, November 30, 2015 7:15:49 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel da Giants. Cuncel da Eli. Too bad, because the NFC East is weak this year. | Sunday, November 29, 2015 3:05:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Someone needs to tape this asshole's mouth shut until she starves to death https://t.co/WsjvnNmu60 | Saturday, November 28, 2015 1:30:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| WAIT A SEC. Doesn't the MTA put like huge disclaimers on Arab political shit ads? Wtf is this then? https://t.co/nD0v0rMxZG | Wednesday, November 25, 2015 6:45:38 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Buckyball dick, you guys! #penis2010 https://t.co/Wx8bJAJvb1 | Monday, November 23, 2015 11:12:30 AM | Twitter for Android |
| All of the MTA sucks a dick. Metro North 15 mins late, now the 4/5 is traipsing along at 5mph. Cunts. | Monday, November 23, 2015 9:05:04 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck Apple for their "lives photo" marketing scheme. It's a goddamn glorified video. | Friday, November 20, 2015 12:33:08 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fuck you too bitch | Thursday, November 19, 2015 11:37:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu of course he says they're fake and they're not duh | Thursday, November 19, 2015 11:10:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Coworkers going away party; everyone's scared shitless I'm leaving next. Didn't buy a drink all night. They just keep handing them to me | Thursday, November 19, 2015 7:33:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ohhh for fucks sake | Sunday, November 15, 2015 7:52:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| That's bullshit. Took two steps | Sunday, November 15, 2015 7:35:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I love how I have a @MalJNew who loves to chill with me and watch the Giants and order pizza | Sunday, November 15, 2015 7:03:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The pictures I took yesterday look absolutely nothing like what I actually saw. | Sunday, November 15, 2015 3:24:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I mean... If I were a white girl, I'd want Drake to murder my vagina. | Sunday, November 15, 2015 3:20:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dick wrecking boots @MalJNew | Saturday, November 14, 2015 1:45:42 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Whaddup bitches? | Saturday, November 14, 2015 1:00:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| The @Docent_Steve method of drinking whiskey makes it so painless. #breatheout | Saturday, November 14, 2015 12:53:41 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This R train conductor is loud, his voice sucks and he needs to shut the fuck up. Guy keeps blabbering in my ear. Too early for your noise. | Friday, November 13, 2015 10:06:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Take 2 with the MTA today. Hopefully without the Bynes-like meltdown | Thursday, November 12, 2015 9:10:48 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Anyone have any demo work for me to do? I'm in prime condition to take a sledgehammer to shit right now. | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:46:09 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Stupid fucking cocksuckers. Rail breaks on the N/q/R and the M has fuckin signal problems. Get your lives together @NYCTSubway | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:38:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I hate it. New York fucking is a rat shithole | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:34:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Piece of shit city with piece of shit infrastructure get me the fuck out of here | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:33:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @NYCTSubway @MTA cunts | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:27:48 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I legit can't get the fuck home | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:25:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus fucking Christ. One line has a goddamn broken rail and the other one they told me to take instead has fuckin signal problems | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:25:41 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Broken rail your fucking cunts | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:17:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You should fucking tell people there are no R trains at Cortlandt St shitheads. 2 uptown Ns in 30 minutes. #fuckdoipayyoufor @NYCTSubway | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 8:55:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Stupid fucks. Get more reliable. @NYCTSubway | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 8:50:18 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Waiting for an uptown R at Cortlandt St and after 15 minutes, an N shows up. This entire city and MTA can eat my dick. #nevergettinghome | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 8:46:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Engineer to me yesterday after I lost it: "It's ok. I'm used to talking people down. I have two daughters" | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 10:15:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| There's a female "manspreading" on the subway right now. Way to go with the terminology, MTA. | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:45:55 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Mood https://t.co/Z0yOGKFBzi | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 9:42:02 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 #Dory2016 | Wednesday, November 11, 2015 12:09:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @__JLu #pen15 testers | Tuesday, November 10, 2015 8:09:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Aliens built them and put some device inside, duh. https://t.co/B42VXJHb6L | Tuesday, November 10, 2015 8:25:47 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Bullshit. Bet I can get this working in 5 mins: https://t.co/ia3YMLqDzi | Sunday, November 08, 2015 1:12:59 AM | Twitter for Android |
| O what up Twitter? Missed me? | Sunday, November 08, 2015 12:32:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I had enough of these fuckin towels and their idiotic directions | Wednesday, November 04, 2015 9:24:06 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yanks dropped clippard whyyyyy? | Sunday, November 01, 2015 12:30:52 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus fuckin Christ Mets. I'm not even a fan but stop making New York loo like a joke to these farmer midwest assholes | Saturday, October 31, 2015 11:41:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| TOLOOO. I should've put on a fat suit and been 'Tolo for Halloween, you guys | Saturday, October 31, 2015 10:01:59 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Gf is sharing an ear bud with me and just put on Pearl Jam's Ten. #keeper #ballerstatus | Saturday, October 31, 2015 5:02:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I think I told this bitch off too loudly accidentally on purpose for putting her arm in my picture https://t.co/RBJ57XUKEB | Saturday, October 31, 2015 3:59:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Donde esta el tren | Friday, October 30, 2015 8:36:21 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I need to slow my role on this thing... Jeez. | Friday, October 30, 2015 8:35:40 AM | Twitter for Android |
| You shipped it with an old operating system. Idiots. Where is Marshmallow? Get a Nexus or Moto instead https://t.co/TrOHBSOxzX | Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:59:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How the fuck is your job going? Mine's swell | Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:58:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I told our director of security to "get the fuck out of my face, I don't have time for your noise" today. | Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:55:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| And that's gonna be me walking I to the suits office tomorrow. Billy Walsh style | Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:40:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| If you don't like it you can suck his fucking cock | Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:38:39 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This is another public service announcement Brought to you in part by Portfolioso. Portfolioso does not give a fuck what you think. | Thursday, October 29, 2015 11:38:29 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shit's about to go down at work tomorrow. Mark my words. #vigilante | Thursday, October 29, 2015 10:59:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| The cunt suits I work with. Should they eat a dick? | Thursday, October 29, 2015 8:25:20 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 2. I only wanted to go for 10 mins to say hi because I was in a bad mood. 4 lychee martinis and a shot later.... #fml | Thursday, October 29, 2015 8:07:23 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 1. Went to a friends bday. One of her friends remembered me as "that guy from that hot dog bar" Not sure how I feel about that... | Thursday, October 29, 2015 8:06:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Annmarie needs to shit the fuck up and stop judging me | Tuesday, October 27, 2015 10:10:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They cut back to the Fox video feed and Harvey starts messing up. | Tuesday, October 27, 2015 10:03:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| YOU HAD ONE JOB @FOXTV | Tuesday, October 27, 2015 9:35:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Eh you don't need Fox. No one wants to hear Joe Buck | Tuesday, October 27, 2015 9:32:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Here's the problem with buying a carrier backed phone. Not even released yet and they're shipping it with an old os https://t.co/BN6oQFT1gS | Tuesday, October 27, 2015 1:28:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| MTA clocks are all an hour back for DST... | Tuesday, October 27, 2015 8:44:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Everclear, cunts https://t.co/Va80DHCvrh | Monday, October 26, 2015 10:01:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Piss and line cunts | Monday, October 26, 2015 9:52:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| EVERCLEAR. BB KINGS. YOURE NOT 90s ENOUGH FOR ME | Monday, October 26, 2015 7:33:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Guy operating this 5 train has gotta be shitfaced. Way to hard brake and accelerate every 3 seconds like an asshole | Friday, October 23, 2015 12:15:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #ToloPounce | Wednesday, October 21, 2015 11:40:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| One more strike, Family | Wednesday, October 21, 2015 11:39:31 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 So positive, I like it! Wouldn't happen to be Twitter inspired eh? We go alllll the way back on Twitter. #OG | Wednesday, October 21, 2015 11:31:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Like the time I blackout called my grandparents in the Bronx and talked for 20 mins about the Yankees in '09 and had no clue the next day In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, October 21, 2015 10:56:50 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Although I'm not a Mets fan. Mad feels for you guys. I remember '09 like yesterday and how fun it was | Wednesday, October 21, 2015 10:53:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Nah son, he's coming to the Yankees next year https://t.co/lyLzIUF0Ws | Wednesday, October 21, 2015 10:46:27 PM | Twitter for Android |
| My cabbies hammered | Wednesday, October 21, 2015 10:45:21 PM | Twitter for Android |
| RT @KFCBarstool: I need a Bartolo postseason at bat more than anything in the world. | Wednesday, October 21, 2015 10:29:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'd pay cash money to see 'Tolo go wild and pounce on top of a mets pile | Wednesday, October 21, 2015 9:52:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Called my mom... She spent 15 mins telling me about her neighbor's knee replacement. 😴💤 | Saturday, October 17, 2015 10:29:19 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #metsaintgotnooneinrehab | Thursday, October 15, 2015 11:24:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Congrats to all my mess fans out there | Thursday, October 15, 2015 11:24:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #loldodgers | Thursday, October 15, 2015 10:06:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pretty sure our director of architecture is a gangster | Thursday, October 15, 2015 8:49:08 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Said I'd only have a beer at the bar. Had 5 already and counting. Also, #lolmets | Thursday, October 15, 2015 8:38:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @MalJNew RELAX | Thursday, October 15, 2015 12:13:07 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Lower the fuckin heat on the subways you MTA cunts | Monday, October 12, 2015 8:51:24 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus fucking Christ ISIS, I can assure you Allah doesn't want you going around raping people and having sex slaves http://t.co/WM3Bq6IuCv | Monday, October 12, 2015 1:03:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| False alerts waking me up all night and the primary motherfucker keeps missing them. #cunts #fucksysops | Saturday, October 10, 2015 5:15:54 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Vinny is now speaking Italian to the cab driver | Friday, October 09, 2015 12:08:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My dude Vinny is destroying this cab driver right now. | Thursday, October 08, 2015 11:58:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| YEAHHHHHH NATE. GET. IT. IN http://t.co/gyY9f9iD03 | Thursday, October 08, 2015 10:02:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Our new security guy is a cunt. No security dude is reasonable. None of them. Hate them all | Thursday, October 08, 2015 3:07:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Mess | Thursday, October 08, 2015 12:01:36 AM | Twitter for Android |
| @Billyjune88 bitch you're not gonna rescue me from matchless this week? In reply to @Billyjune88's tweet | Wednesday, October 07, 2015 10:43:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Sick of fuckin losing so should we start winning like @realDonaldTrump? Hahahahhahahahha In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Wednesday, October 07, 2015 10:39:22 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Dude. CC is a fuckin pussy checking in the day before the playoffs. My entire kickball team needs to hang with him in rehab. | Wednesday, October 07, 2015 10:33:56 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Loser company. Loser kickball team. Loser flip cup team. For fuck's sake can we be good at fuckin anything? | Wednesday, October 07, 2015 10:21:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Someone put on Poker Face immijitly @Fantasy_Mania | Sunday, October 04, 2015 10:03:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I just cried my eyes out watching that 2008 Yogi Yankee Stadium tribute #noshame | Sunday, October 04, 2015 9:55:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| 🌳🌳🌳 | Sunday, October 04, 2015 9:51:32 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Idk what's even going on right now so lets play some music | Sunday, October 04, 2015 7:41:12 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Cuncel da Yankees | Sunday, October 04, 2015 5:23:24 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Deez nutz http://t.co/USk43Gu6nL | Sunday, October 04, 2015 4:28:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| .@NYCTSubway it's absurd to blast the heat on the subway when it's like 60° out. | Sunday, October 04, 2015 12:22:07 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Like for real, how does it go from like 80 and sunny to like nasty and rainy and 48 #nyc | Saturday, October 03, 2015 2:56:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Don't you just love it when some porn robot with some hot chick and boobs just favorites a tweet of yours from like a year ago? | Saturday, October 03, 2015 1:39:27 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Imagine. Initiate. Execute. Repeat. Until you're the fuckin CEO | Saturday, October 03, 2015 12:04:28 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This gravity rap/techno song on Bill Nye the Science Guy is so 90s and awesome and made of win. | Friday, October 02, 2015 8:31:11 PM | Twitter for Android |
| One of my Dominicans "Yo dawg. Your jacket looks like it's from the Bronx" | Friday, October 02, 2015 6:42:05 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Metro north is literally going backwards right now #fantastic | Friday, October 02, 2015 8:39:42 AM | Twitter for Android |
| My boy Vinny is an absolute savage. | Monday, September 28, 2015 11:23:33 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Look at the moon, you guys! Eclipse is starting | Sunday, September 27, 2015 9:14:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Fire hydrants all over Central Park right now for Ed Sheeran | Saturday, September 26, 2015 11:38:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yo @MikeMcCreadyPJ, throw me one of your guitar picks later please! #GlobalCitizen #pearljam | Saturday, September 26, 2015 1:05:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh shot, my Twitter..... Welp, didn't tweet anything that stupid tonight | Friday, September 25, 2015 3:59:57 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Alice in chains on at the bar. Nice | Thursday, September 24, 2015 7:36:34 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Working right now http://t.co/DUPCZM8BHL | Thursday, September 24, 2015 4:44:44 PM | Twitter for Android |
| They were talking about conditioner and brushing hair, so my chances just went up a notch #yeahbuddy In reply to @portfolioso's tweet | Thursday, September 24, 2015 3:58:40 PM | Twitter for Android |
| This dude at the bar right now is legit Bruce from Family Guy http://t.co/1rp7XQsk11 | Thursday, September 24, 2015 3:49:02 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Coolest. Planet. Ever. https://t.co/X7Ru20ZBCb | Thursday, September 24, 2015 3:40:57 PM | Twitter for Android |
| I'm kinda hoping this bartendress is a little lezzie for Mal so we can have a threesome | Thursday, September 24, 2015 3:17:25 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Overheard at the bar: "Taylor Swift has the eyes of a Chinese man masturbator" | Thursday, September 24, 2015 3:01:54 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Shame the Yanks didn't win one for Yogi yesterday | Thursday, September 24, 2015 7:06:03 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Why can't you get a blown save and then a save for re-saving the game? | Tuesday, September 22, 2015 10:48:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| How the hell am I supposed to win the world series in fantasy when my boy Miller is blowing saves over here like a joker | Tuesday, September 22, 2015 10:09:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Asked Pops to unbox/charge my new phone. He pulled a Tobias Fünke response. #thatswhatshesaid http://t.co/1bLkexg8q6 | Tuesday, September 22, 2015 2:48:55 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Yanks should save some of these runs for Toronto | Sunday, September 20, 2015 11:19:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| #lolmets | Sunday, September 20, 2015 10:12:26 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Jesus Christ, CC | Sunday, September 20, 2015 8:18:16 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Need sausage and pep right now | Saturday, September 19, 2015 1:43:17 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Two antiques just plowed through the karaoke stage | Saturday, September 19, 2015 1:19:51 AM | Twitter for Android |
| Fully blame the karaoke guy's Mets wallpaper for crashing the karaoke app | Saturday, September 19, 2015 12:15:29 AM | Twitter for Android |
| I was gonna say midget but isn't little person more politically correct? Like isn't there a show called that with a doctor woman? | Friday, September 18, 2015 11:54:36 PM | Twitter for Android |
| In other news, I went oncall and there might be a little person here. | Friday, September 18, 2015 11:54:04 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Pretty sure this hammered 70something woman is trying to bang by friend right now. #mystatus | Friday, September 18, 2015 11:24:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Really need to poop you guys and this NYC traffic can suck it | Friday, September 18, 2015 10:09:46 PM | Twitter for Android |
| @ky9 depends. If they're in college, its very normal. Did it all the time. Barstool took over the Pepsi porch tonight, so that explains it | Friday, September 18, 2015 9:21:30 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Tonight's fuckin trouble. I can sense it. #gettinhammeredtonight | Friday, September 18, 2015 8:21:52 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Going on a #manhunt http://t.co/bfnrqxJOof | Thursday, September 17, 2015 11:50:44 AM | Twitter for Android |
| This might take a while. Also, there is a loud whining kid here. Someone give him an ambien | Wednesday, September 16, 2015 7:09:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Step off the pharmacy line to grab something bc no one was at the pharmacy. Next thing you know they're helping a guy who no habla ingles. | Wednesday, September 16, 2015 7:09:17 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Subway is legit parked right now. #mtaproblems | Wednesday, September 16, 2015 8:55:25 AM | Twitter for Android |
| A fuckin bird just shit on my hand | Tuesday, September 15, 2015 8:28:31 AM | Twitter for Android |
| That time you have to piss and you didn't even take off yet. This is why you don't get hammered before flights | Monday, September 14, 2015 3:39:03 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Can I Seamless food to the gate at LaGuardia when I've landed? #fatfuck | Monday, September 14, 2015 3:36:45 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Also, fuck airplane mode. The frequency phones run on won't conflict with the airplane shit. So I am tweeting this as we take off. I'll live | Monday, September 14, 2015 3:34:13 PM | Twitter for Android |
| You've gotta be a giant vajay to be secured by a plane seatbelt. | Monday, September 14, 2015 3:32:58 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Oh wait plane seatbelts protect you from turbulence? You ever ride the NYC subways? Shit's 95 times worse than turbulence. | Monday, September 14, 2015 3:32:10 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Plane seatbelts are the stupidest things ever. Like... If the plane crashed, it's not going to save you. | Monday, September 14, 2015 3:30:37 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Eli with the sizzzz pass... To the cameraman | Sunday, September 13, 2015 11:39:43 PM | Twitter for Android |
| Ate a 3/4 lb burger today like a fat fuck and now my rotten cow meat farts are putrid #tmi | Saturday, September 12, 2015 4:15:43 AM | Twitter for Android |
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