9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Ok so let's talk about Midnight Mass. When that lunatic church woman poisoned Pike the dog and Joe the town drunk was broken about it, it literally broke me. I couldn't handle it. Forget all the supernatural shit.

(And whomever did it needs to go through the wood chipper) 		Sunday, October 31, 2021 8:41:10 AMTwitter for Android
.@BestBuy dat JavaScript fail https://t.co/8ohhBmBetb Friday, October 29, 2021 12:20:28 AMTwitter for Android
If I wasn't white, it would have been a fucking problem, mark my words.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, October 28, 2021 11:18:43 PMTwitter for Android
You want to know what systemic racism is? I was back home visiting my parents and my boy dropped me off at 2am. A cop though we were up to no good because we were in the driveway of a quiet white ass neighborhood. I had an out of state ID, but it was coo. We were white. He left.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, October 28, 2021 11:18:12 PMTwitter for Android
Get a load of this far right horseshit. What they're describing here is plain racism, not systemic racism. https://t.co/KQI9liHqEP Thursday, October 28, 2021 11:15:19 PMTwitter for Android
Coinbase is down. This better mean Shiba Inu coin goes to the moon. If it hits $1 like wacky Elon says it will, I'm paying off the house. Wednesday, October 27, 2021 5:09:14 PMTwitter for Android
Go Braves! Fuck the cheating fuckin Astros Tuesday, October 26, 2021 11:29:53 PMTwitter for Android
What's this shit you have to click twice now to send a tweet because of spaces? WTF are spaces. Fuckssake Jack Tuesday, October 26, 2021 10:42:26 PMTwitter for Android
@madebygoogle Bad form reminding me this is in my cart when the Pixel 6 Pro is completely sold out. Why would I need a case yet? https://t.co/06VpFQOegZ Saturday, October 23, 2021 8:34:53 PMTwitter for Android
JEFFREY! You dog. First you have Elon sending him giant silver metals and #2 statues. What a rebuttle! Just gonna build me a half billion dollar yacht - biggest in the world. Suck it Elon

https://t.co/ctH1TUxU9x 		Saturday, October 23, 2021 12:32:58 AMTwitter for Android
Who the fuck did this and why are they not being put foot first through a wood chipper?
https://t.co/djnSkubebj 		Friday, October 22, 2021 11:13:25 PMTwitter for Android
@jayrjordan Mexico should just invade and take over Texas. Bunch of idiot Hicks passing idiotic laws.
In reply to @jayrjordan's tweet
Thursday, October 21, 2021 11:04:02 PMTwitter for Android
By NO means is does this look like authentic New York pizza. By no means. https://t.co/PrQbYxmxXa Thursday, October 21, 2021 10:54:41 PMTwitter for Android
@ky9 Google products are infuriating and drive me bananas. Like actual rage. I want to like them, but they're so buggy. I'd strangle the Google Assistant if she had a real neck. Always makes the kid cry because her listening is for shit. Keep your head up, you got this!
In reply to @ky9's tweet
Tuesday, October 19, 2021 12:35:52 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin TikTok, man...

Am I too old for this shit?
Does the app just suck on Android?
Is my screen too small?
Why is it so difficult? https://t.co/jzV3BWyFRt 		Tuesday, October 19, 2021 12:20:11 AMTwitter for Android
If you use TikTok and don't know what year Jeff Bezos was born, do you really use TikTok? Friday, October 15, 2021 7:53:22 PMTwitter for Android
@SpeakerCupp When are you going to undo HB6 Sunday, October 10, 2021 4:44:07 PMTwitter for Android
@NkirbyNYY Cash stinks. He's gotta go
In reply to @NkirbyNYY's tweet
Sunday, October 10, 2021 2:12:50 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ almighty. We're all fucked

https://t.co/DsgceRe02F 		Sunday, October 10, 2021 2:11:52 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck kind of bullshit is this. Give me fall please. None of this 80s shit https://t.co/Z8GHTzV0zI Saturday, October 09, 2021 1:14:20 PMTwitter for Android
Ohio really is backwards as fuck. This kind of shit pisses me off so much. First there was the HB6 scandal which fucked clean energy programs and removed clean erebates and subsidies, then added taxes on electric cars. Ohio is solely destroying the planet

https://t.co/Wg5aOadFbU 		Saturday, October 09, 2021 9:49:07 AMTwitter for Android
LMFAO. What a little bitch. "Trumpy Trump made me do it. I'm a baby that can't think for myself"

What kind of dirt does Donnie DumDum have that he can just order someone to give hundreds of thousands of dollars in free (albeit, bogus) legal counsel?

https://t.co/7BWuqw6R7D 		Friday, October 08, 2021 5:36:54 PMTwitter for Android
Cancel the season Tuesday, October 05, 2021 9:08:10 PMTwitter for Android
JFC what a buncha fuckin whack jobs. I mean, I'm not shy. Idgaf if I shit with the door open it my wife sees (shes more shy), but why on earth would you do this ON PURPOSE...

https://t.co/VhftNwSuUC 		Tuesday, October 05, 2021 12:47:05 AMTwitter for Android
Abso-fucking-lutely NOT. Google Assistant is such a finicky piece of shit I curse her out all the time

https://t.co/cLBbqrU0xT 		Monday, October 04, 2021 10:36:37 AMTwitter for Android
At wedding. Single bathroom. Women are coming out quicker from the ladies room. WTF are you doing in there. JESUS H Christ Sunday, October 03, 2021 12:06:59 AMTwitter for Android
@Colithika Currently at a layover with the Mormons but on the way to Wyoming for a wedding
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Thursday, September 30, 2021 12:55:27 PMTwitter for Android
@Colithika Welcome back to the Twitter par-tayyy. Feel free to follow my lunacy. PS - We're in the same time zone rn bish
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Thursday, September 30, 2021 12:47:03 PMTwitter for Android
@Colithika Remember, when you're feeling down, tell them all to eat a dick. It always works. https://t.co/EgZgz1cbQl
In reply to @Colithika's tweet
Thursday, September 30, 2021 12:45:44 PMTwitter for Android
N95s on planes are wonderful. Idk why I haven't done this before the coronas. I don't have to smell people's shitty perfumes and colognes Thursday, September 30, 2021 12:44:24 PMTwitter for Android
This is why Grimes had enough of this shit
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, September 30, 2021 12:08:53 AMTwitter for Android
I mean, if he actually follows through that would be wild to see. Straight up pulling out his 6ft cock, smacking Bezos in the face and launching him to the moon
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, September 30, 2021 12:08:25 AMTwitter for Android
ELON you absolute SAVAGE. This guy has some pair of balls on him. The absolute cockiness and pettiness is outside of control. I usually want to hate on Elon but this is just hilarious.

https://t.co/bsxWD5MCvD 		Thursday, September 30, 2021 12:06:21 AMTwitter for Android
@CSX GO FUCK YOURSELVES Wednesday, September 29, 2021 6:25:45 PMTwitter for Android
Oh look. Katy Perry's hair is dark again. She looked like an asshole as a blonde https://t.co/v6zUMUYEQo Monday, September 27, 2021 3:03:40 PMTwitter for Android
Maybe I'm wrong and she's nice, but Ariana Grande rubs me the wrong way. She comes across as a nasty, rough around the edges bitch. But who the hell am I to say. Saturday, September 25, 2021 8:06:37 PMTwitter for Android
Oh Christ. I'm elderly https://t.co/PVqRWm8PGW Saturday, September 25, 2021 12:58:49 AMTwitter for Android
Unpopular opinion time, and idgaf. The FUCK are we doing spending a billion dollars on Israel's missile defense bullshit? Not our fucking problem.

420-9 vote. Out of 429 people, only 9 were against this fuckin nonsense? 		Thursday, September 23, 2021 11:47:02 PMTwitter for Android
Good. Someone finally had the balls to tell Apple and their proprietary bullshit lightning charger, to go fuck themselves.

https://t.co/Qhm6Ncs8Ec 		Thursday, September 23, 2021 11:44:49 PMTwitter for Android
Truck driver shortage (people too lazy to work with all these dem handouts)? Gas prices up? Guess it's Biden's fault. Oh wait they have the same problems in the UK. #peoplearedumb https://t.co/dNyCufaZvq Thursday, September 23, 2021 10:42:54 PMTwitter for Android
A BILLION dollars? JFC what a waste of money. Isn't there anything IN the United States we could be spending that in instead?
https://t.co/UPru9SfxcQ 		Thursday, September 23, 2021 9:49:00 PMTwitter for Android
BAHHAHAHAHAHA. @Steve_Chucri You dummy! You got recorded secretly because you talked shit about Republicans who opposed a 2020 election review? Had to resign in scandal? Good, motherfucker. We don't need your kind in politics. You think Trump won? Idiot.

https://t.co/hlepwm8S6Z 		Wednesday, September 22, 2021 8:16:44 PMTwitter for Android
@CSX what's the problem at Orange Rd in Lewis Center Wednesday, September 22, 2021 6:24:13 PMTwitter for Android
Also, why is this shit going viral now. This was all pre Covid. No one has masks
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, September 21, 2021 11:03:08 AMTwitter for Android
You know how many fuckin elbows motherfuckers got from me who tried this shit? A lot of elbows. To the face, stomach, tits. Doesn't matter. You want to cram yourself into a train when there's no room, I'm gonna stampede you, bitch
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Tuesday, September 21, 2021 11:00:34 AMTwitter for Android
This is nothing new. Shit like this isn't news. It happenes all the time on the subways. People are savages. I'd rather wait and be late than to jam myself into a train ass to dick, and that was pre-covid

https://t.co/hITvAt154z 		Tuesday, September 21, 2021 10:59:23 AMTwitter for Android
I just tasted the new car smell of a 1996 Chevy Lumina and I'm literally outside my mind rn Sunday, September 19, 2021 11:02:19 PMTwitter for Android
I fucking hate everything right now Sunday, September 19, 2021 11:37:34 AMTwitter for Android
No one in their right mind wants to be associated with this piece of shit building https://t.co/iAsUy1HZRL Saturday, September 18, 2021 10:17:59 PMTwitter for Android
@MikeDeWine was coo last year. Now he's a weasel. "ohh sorry I'd do a mask mandate but they won't let me"

If I were gov, I'd be like "the Ohio Senate peeps are a bunch of dumb fuckin hicks who can eat a dick" and then retire and hang with my grandkids.

https://t.co/BuDaxbcN3M 		Friday, September 17, 2021 9:20:15 PMTwitter for Android
.@rosterloh @sundarpichai @madebygoogle

If this thing is benchmarking poorly already, y'all at least better give free @googlephotos storage if it's gonna be a "flagship" and over $1k.

https://t.co/k1JeCzcTqk 		Monday, September 13, 2021 10:44:07 PMTwitter for Android
Imagine if this pandemic was ebola or smallpox or some shit like that? Billions would die because half the human race are inbred imbeciles
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, September 13, 2021 12:46:01 AMTwitter for Android
This fucking pandemic is never going to end because of this political shit.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, September 13, 2021 12:44:04 AMTwitter for Android
Upstate NY, people. Literal medical professionals, who you hope would believe in science, quit because they won't get a shot. No wonder we have these Nordic countries putting study abroad notices up "hey don't go to the United States. That place is a backwards piece of shit"
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, September 13, 2021 12:42:38 AMTwitter for Android
Incoming rant. How in the actual fuck do you pause delivering babies? "Sorry, gotta stay inside, motherfucker. Ain't no one wants to deliver you because hick ass pieces of shit would rather just quit than to get a vaccine to end this cocksucking pandemic" https://t.co/BZfiQxW0p9 Monday, September 13, 2021 12:39:58 AMTwitter for Android
Roy Kent is a great dude. Saturday, September 11, 2021 11:22:28 PMTwitter for Android
The fuckin Yankees lost to the Mets. The Mets?! Are you for real? This team sucks. This season is infuriating. I've never seen a team have such long hot streaks follows by dumpster fire streaks. Friday, September 10, 2021 10:49:22 PMTwitter for Android
JFC https://t.co/ydhLeFEOm4 Wednesday, September 08, 2021 7:51:57 PMTwitter for Android
@Nintendad88 P
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Wednesday, September 08, 2021 7:29:53 PMTwitter for Android
@Nintendad88 Yeah man. That nun lady said it best. These motherfuckers aren't pro life, they're pro birth. Don't want to support the kid or social programs - but only the women's bodies to pop them out.
In reply to @Nintendad88's tweet
Wednesday, September 08, 2021 7:29:34 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah I guess now'd be a good time to get a new furnace Tuesday, September 07, 2021 3:57:13 PMTwitter for Android
RT @MichaelRapaport: In Texas it’s My Body My Choice regarding Vaccinations but that doesn’t apply for Women having abortions.

Rape so wha… 		Tuesday, September 07, 2021 12:03:51 AMTwitter for Android
JFC my entire HVAC stopped working out of the blue. How much you think this shit is going to cost to fix? Monday, September 06, 2021 11:42:47 PMTwitter for Android
I lost 18 lbs. Legit couldn't get much food during lockdown, was miserable, walked my dog miles and miles out of boredom, and stopped drinking empty calories because what's the point of drinking if you can't hang with people https://t.co/QlTiNvU9hk Saturday, September 04, 2021 9:26:12 PMTwitter for Android
Yes. Please do this. Please kill off the imbeciles before they breed

https://t.co/JppgsLMmpF 		Saturday, September 04, 2021 7:01:32 PMTwitter for Android
I think I just scientifically proved alien life exists tonight. You know all the crazy shit that lives on the bottom of the ocean, tens of thousands of feet down where light can't reach? Welp, same shit probably lives deep in Europa's ocean. Who needs sun or atmosphere Friday, September 03, 2021 11:54:39 PMTwitter for Android
Shit it was Yosemite, was it it ... I can't get the two straight
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Friday, September 03, 2021 11:49:56 PMTwitter for Android
You know what's cool? Space and trees. 🌠☄️🚀🛰️🌳🌳🌳 Friday, September 03, 2021 10:43:44 PMTwitter for Android
This extra innings runner on second bullshit to try to shorten games is full of shit. Lengthens games because each team just gets a base hit every inning. Manfried is a moron. Friday, September 03, 2021 10:38:12 PMTwitter for Android
Book me into this Airbnb immijitly https://t.co/ZrhjrR0R1p Friday, September 03, 2021 10:17:39 PMTwitter for Android
You guys. Seriously what happened to that family and their dog that just dropped dead near Yellowstone and no one can figure out why. Now the area is shut down and no one is saying anything. https://t.co/DxOcHpeG0d Friday, September 03, 2021 10:15:44 PMTwitter for Android
You're a fuckin dick, @OhioAG (Yost). What do you have against the gays? https://t.co/VSyqUH564r Friday, September 03, 2021 7:40:18 PMTwitter for Android
Mike Lindell is the dumbest person alive. All he had to do is continue selling his shitty pillows and shut the fuck up with all the Trump propaganda and he'd be like every other rich asshole CEO. But instead, he's being sued for billions of dollars https://t.co/xtNZNSs8VD Friday, September 03, 2021 10:16:38 AMTwitter for Android
What's the other 90%? Folgers? Package doesn't say. @KauaiCoffeeCo https://t.co/XkaUtCfDwH Friday, September 03, 2021 8:28:54 AMTwitter for Android
I wouldn't be able to get picked on this jury because I'd have a hard time not telling the judge that Elizabeth Holmes is a guilty piece of shit who deserves the maximum punishment. Wouldn't even need to hold the trial. Guilty.

https://t.co/sCaU0ji75C 		Thursday, September 02, 2021 12:02:38 AMTwitter for Android
Ron Desantis is anti-mask because he wants people to catch covid. He is in bed with the companies creating these expensive monoclonal antibodies and only wants to line his pockets. He's a piece of shit asshole who should be in prison for treason and fraud Sunday, August 29, 2021 3:01:12 PMTwitter for Android
The world really is ending. Christ must have come back as a shark to fuck with us.
https://t.co/03cjO7Xzrn 		Saturday, August 28, 2021 1:27:56 AMTwitter for Android
@GovRonDeSantis HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. How does it feel that you got sued to reverse your order blocking masks? Good. Asshole. HAHAHAAHA
In reply to @GovRonDeSantis's tweet
Friday, August 27, 2021 11:57:04 PMTwitter for Android
If Chapman fucks this up, he's an asshole Friday, August 27, 2021 1:16:28 AMTwitter for Android
WANDY you glorious man! Tuesday, August 24, 2021 10:58:20 PMTwitter for Android
Jesus Christ Chapman Tuesday, August 24, 2021 10:47:21 PMTwitter for Android
@GovRonDeSantis This ignoramus must be a shill to companies making the antibodies. Because he seems to be doing everything in his power to get sick so they need antibodies, rather than preventing Covid with masks and vaccines

The dumb mitherfucker
In reply to @GovRonDeSantis's tweet
Monday, August 23, 2021 10:10:14 AMTwitter for Android
@GovRonDeSantis Must be a shitty business if your ignorant ass is advertising it
In reply to @GovRonDeSantis's tweet
Monday, August 23, 2021 10:06:20 AMTwitter for Android
Ok this Covid shit is out of control. Stick me with a booster now. I can't wait until fall Sunday, August 22, 2021 9:40:53 AMTwitter for Android
You IDIOTS. You dumb hick idiots. https://t.co/2uV1xaMnxE Friday, August 20, 2021 4:42:22 PMTwitter for Android
The only real solution to the problem in this article is that the stepmother would need to mysteriously vanish.

https://t.co/wUimYm9bYO 		Thursday, August 19, 2021 11:33:46 PMTwitter for Android
Like, I get that the Taliban breeds anti-American terrorists, but they hate the US of A for dicking around their countries in the name of oil. Maybe if we didn't suck Israel's dick and stayed neutral in the Middle East, they wouldn't mess with us so much

☮️ 		Sunday, August 15, 2021 3:38:22 PMTwitter for Android
I find it hilarious about all the people giving Big Dick Biden shit for Afghanistan falling to the Taliban.

1) Trump pulled our troops out
2) We're not the world police
3) In the words of Trump, that's a shithole country so let them fend for themselves 		Sunday, August 15, 2021 3:30:36 PMTwitter for Android
I guess with this Delta variant, they should change New Hampshire's motto to "Live free and die" Friday, August 13, 2021 4:46:08 PMTwitter for Android
Why is everyone getting their panties in a bunch over how often celebrities and/or their kids bathe? Who cares. As long as they're not stinky and gross in public offending others, relax Thursday, August 12, 2021 9:34:16 AMTwitter for Android
Fuckin asshole. The world is burning hot and society will collapse in the 2049s and this asshole is raising the prices on his solar shit and paying himself billions to live in a 50k container house

https://t.co/Rpo9dT4Ry7 		Tuesday, August 10, 2021 10:46:40 PMTwitter for Android
@__JLu https://t.co/5jcFA2fZSf
In reply to @__JLu's tweet
Tuesday, August 10, 2021 3:34:08 PMTwitter for Android
This is the best bitchface of all time

https://t.co/NmZ6qenHw4 		Tuesday, August 10, 2021 3:00:18 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck him. Hope he suffered miserably in his final days. Karma
https://t.co/FTVKFoUC7N 		Monday, August 09, 2021 4:00:13 PMTwitter for Android
Older neighbor lady has an old sick Mastiff and I just helped her lift it into her car so she can take it to the vet and it actually broke me. Monday, August 09, 2021 10:06:02 AMTwitter for Android
I like to rip on Elon Musk for being a bit wacky, but this is 💯💯💯

Fuckin bureaucracy and layers of management is garbage. Let the workers work
https://t.co/RDFdaoamHu 		Friday, August 06, 2021 3:22:21 PMTwitter for Android
I was an asshole to Sundar Pichai and Rick Osterloh on Twitter, and is it no coincidence my Nest doorbell broke the next day? Thursday, August 05, 2021 5:03:25 PMTwitter for Android
Can @sundarpichai @rosterloh @madebygoogle assure me that the Pixel 6 will not have a piece of shit battery like the Pixel 4 does? Thx.

Look at this horse shit. Fucking thing hardly lasts a half day with four hours of screen usage and it was replaced a year ago https://t.co/beU6if6moe 		Tuesday, August 03, 2021 8:51:42 PMTwitter for Android
I mean, if you're running Android 2.x in the year of our lord 2021, you're an asshole.

https://t.co/tw6WaG1tqi 		Monday, August 02, 2021 11:30:22 PMTwitter for Android
@madebygoogle Useless unless you bring back unlimited Google Photos storage
In reply to @madebygoogle's tweet
Monday, August 02, 2021 11:04:46 PMTwitter for Android