9538 tweets posted from Twitter for Android
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Kill them with fire

https://t.co/X14bjesY6e
Sunday, May 15, 2022 10:06:32 PMTwitter for Android
It's always a good idea
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Sunday, May 15, 2022 7:37:15 PMTwitter for Android
Yeah, I miss abusing the dumb shithead on twitter https://t.co/lpWEi0PS6u Sunday, May 15, 2022 2:01:51 PMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks Well explained! 👍 Don't let asshole haters stop you from making more great content.
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Saturday, May 14, 2022 11:40:29 AMTwitter for Android
Am I the asshole if people show me pics of their kids and their dog is in it, I focus and care much more about the dog? lol Saturday, May 14, 2022 1:03:28 AMTwitter for Android
I mean, if I were Rick Ostrich talking to the hardware engineers, I'd 100% be like "the P6 fingerprint scanner was a fucking piece. Do better"

https://t.co/47lt2KlZfk
Friday, May 13, 2022 11:01:21 AMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer The year is 2022... What in the actual what are people outting on floppy disks?!?! Holy moly. Ohio gov't - come ON dude.
In reply to @_sysengineer's tweet
Friday, May 13, 2022 9:07:25 AMTwitter for Android
See, I stopped paying attention and now it's 14-7 Yankees. Tf did that happen?
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, May 12, 2022 11:38:48 PMTwitter for Android
I also ruined Nestor Cortez's no hitter in the 8th because he was facing me on my fantasy team and I gave one of my dudes shit about it and that instantly caused a base hit
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, May 12, 2022 11:09:41 PMTwitter for Android
Gotta be fuckin kidding me. I'm a gd jinx. Didn't watch the Yankees all night. It was 7-4 and the second I turned it on, the White Sox hit a 3 run hr to tie it Thursday, May 12, 2022 11:06:52 PMTwitter for Android
TL;DR: the identical twin raised in the US turned out dumber than the one raised in South Korea. No surprise there. We're idiots!

https://t.co/g4IXkK3WGn
Thursday, May 12, 2022 11:00:50 PMTwitter for Android
Who are we kidding. It's started already and were all poors now https://t.co/MeQbV7hBgp Thursday, May 12, 2022 7:18:23 PMTwitter for Android
@LastPassHelp It wasn't an issue with your extension. Something weird happened on my end and a reboot fixed it. Thanks for the reply and you may close this case
In reply to @LastPassHelp's tweet
Thursday, May 12, 2022 5:22:56 PMTwitter for Android
I literally can't stop smirking in my training class because one of our former employees told me to get some Big Black Dick Rum. And I'm a gd child obviously https://t.co/jwMdxvP35C Wednesday, May 11, 2022 5:52:52 PMTwitter for Android
Bruh relax. It's all just a gd simulation. Literally nothing matters https://t.co/JV82ZoLn2Q Tuesday, May 10, 2022 1:55:22 AMTwitter for Android
Jesus Fuckin Christ. I've been asking for trainings / certs at work forever and they ignore me. Then I found out Friday night at 8 PM that they threw me into a 3 day workshop Monday on west coast time from 12-8PM and now I have to shuffle so much shit around the fuckin cocksucker Saturday, May 07, 2022 9:01:56 AMTwitter for Android
@justice4shmi Even non stimulant SNRIs for whatever reason raise heart rate and BP significantly. My Fitbit logged this very clearly
In reply to @justice4shmi's tweet
Friday, May 06, 2022 2:14:11 PMTwitter for Android
Music gives me goosebumps and it's a proven thing in the brain. Sometimes people who have strokes lose this ability.

If this ever stops happening to me, I need to be removed from earth. Wouldn't wanna be here
Friday, May 06, 2022 1:04:14 AMTwitter for Android
I identify so much more with dogs than humans Thursday, May 05, 2022 11:25:39 PMTwitter for Android
@mattgaetz You're foul. Jesus Christ, man. What the fuck
In reply to @mattgaetz's tweet
Wednesday, May 04, 2022 10:49:04 PMTwitter for Android
These dudes are dope asf. Playing absolute fire jams, my people. If you haven't checked out their covers, y'all's missing out https://t.co/FJpGCrOWVD Wednesday, May 04, 2022 12:30:06 AMTwitter for Android
Come on. Why would you book a swim class makeup on Cinco de Mayo when I'm trying to get shitty on margaritas. Tuesday, May 03, 2022 10:12:46 PMTwitter for Android
@accuweather Bruh. Can you stick to the weather? I get that low lake levels are caused by droughts but I don't need to get interrupting push notifications from a WEATHER app about dead bodies found in lakes https://t.co/xPAJfhBjUz
In reply to @accuweather's tweet
Tuesday, May 03, 2022 12:11:05 PMTwitter for Android
TypeScript promises can completely suck a dick Monday, May 02, 2022 10:52:46 AMTwitter for Android
Oh yeah? And exactly who is going to pay for this? Just print more money? Devalue the dollar more? There's already savage inflation. This is stupid https://t.co/Sg6QLZ07Xz Saturday, April 30, 2022 12:36:04 PMTwitter for Android
I mean, normally I'd be complaining about how shitty my retirement account has been lately, but Bezos lost $20 billion in a day, so whatevs Saturday, April 30, 2022 12:50:42 AMTwitter for Android
@FitbitSupport is battery drain a known issue on a Pixel 6? Because why would the app be active for 21 straight hours? This isn't background usage. This is main usage, and I can assure you I wasn't using the app that long https://t.co/n47Ejf8pZh
In reply to @FitbitSupport's tweet
Wednesday, April 27, 2022 9:01:09 PMTwitter for Android
Oh man. It's not looking good for the orange piece of shit, but he'll stay out of jail. Trust me. Tuesday, April 26, 2022 1:45:39 AMTwitter for Android
The Pixel watch (which I'll probably wait until it's heavily discounted, since my Versa 3 is not even a year old) better use a woven band instead of that plastic skin-rash inducing shit Fitbit uses Tuesday, April 26, 2022 1:44:53 AMTwitter for Android
Hey @MLB what is this Friday Night Baseball shit? The games are exclusively on Apple TV or Prime? But they're blacked out? WHAT kind of shit is this you hacks.

Fire Manfred. Guy is a fucking joke. Baseball has gone to shit.
Friday, April 22, 2022 9:40:11 PMTwitter for Android
Yankees have runners on 1st and 2nd, so obviously they bat .000 with runners in scoring position because this team is ass and Cashman is an asshole Tuesday, April 19, 2022 6:53:15 PMTwitter for Android
I hate apps where you buy the pro version that lasts a lifetime, and then they run out of money and introduce a pro plus version or some shit like that and start taking away pro features. The assholes Tuesday, April 19, 2022 8:26:29 AMTwitter for Android
This cooky bastard! What a lunatic. Just because you're the world's richest person doesn't mean you need like 20 mansions. But at least have a modest average person home for your wife and kids you moron

https://t.co/9Hj6DAUVqG
Monday, April 18, 2022 8:01:41 AMTwitter for Android
Good, you stupid hack

https://t.co/kwTnjXXdRy
Sunday, April 17, 2022 6:13:03 PMTwitter for Android
@JJFromTheBronx This game was such a waste of a pitchers duel
In reply to @JJFromTheBronx's tweet
Sunday, April 17, 2022 4:16:27 PMTwitter for Android
@madebygoogle It's okay, I was just rambling. Force stopping and clearing storage fixed it, but it happened to three different apps and I had it hahaha. All is good thanks
In reply to @madebygoogle's tweet
Sunday, April 17, 2022 1:08:40 PMTwitter for Android
Like, some asshole had dirty glasses, and they called an optometrist who came with lights and sirens just to clean mud off glasses.

Fuck outta here with this idiot shit
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, April 16, 2022 1:53:32 PMTwitter for Android
Peppa Pig is so gd idiotic. It's literally a moron show. I am so mad my kid is obsessed with it Saturday, April 16, 2022 1:52:24 PMTwitter for Android
@madebygoogle Another piece of shit app that I had to clear storage in order for it to work correctly. What the fuck is going on? Why are all my apps fuckin up to the point they don't work until I delete all local storage.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, April 16, 2022 4:01:10 AMTwitter for Android
My series on "All Android apps are pieces of shit" continues:

@accuweather wtf is this bullshit. Make sure the ad displays but the weather doesn't? Why'd I buy this shit, I have the pro version https://t.co/zTtKyjzdqc
Saturday, April 16, 2022 3:55:30 AMTwitter for Android
Boyz 2 Men are going to be at the zucchini festival in Ohio and that shits gonna be mad lit. Prove me wrong

Sept 3rd @ 8:30. Gon be lit
Saturday, April 16, 2022 1:09:42 AMTwitter for Android
Yankees suck, @YESNetwork app sucks, MLB sucks, Manfred sucks. Cancel it all https://t.co/EY64YnxuhZ Saturday, April 16, 2022 12:57:02 AMTwitter for Android
Like ffs, I shouldn't have to clear app data on two different apps within 10 minutes because they just refuse to launch and fuck up to the point where they're bricked?

Why are devs so shitty at writing Android apps? Christ on the cross
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, April 14, 2022 11:49:42 PMTwitter for Android
Seriously wtf @madebygoogle @Android

Why are developers so shitty at writing Android apps? Does Java suck? Does Kotlin suck? Most Android apps are piles of buggy shit.

I don't prefer iOS, but f'in all those apps arent buggy

It's absolutely enraging.
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, April 14, 2022 11:48:01 PMTwitter for Android
My Twitter app started crashing every time on launch. I had to clear app data to fix it. Now I can't figure out how to turn off light mode.

Will all you Android app developers write better shit?!?! Holy fuck. This is like the 6th app in a row that's been a complete shitpile
Thursday, April 14, 2022 11:45:34 PMTwitter for Android
God almighty I'm about to cancel the entire Yankees organization. Not only does Chapman stink, but their Android app is a laughable embarrassment. There is zero pleasure in following this organization. It just makes me rage Thursday, April 14, 2022 11:42:46 PMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks C'mon. I use Arch for all my RAID-0 backups
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Thursday, April 14, 2022 9:03:45 PMTwitter for Android
Colors and textures are excellent rn Saturday, April 09, 2022 9:02:39 PMTwitter for Android
Bunch of morons over here in Ohio

https://t.co/688mk78aoi
Saturday, April 09, 2022 1:50:39 PMTwitter for Android
Oh I see. It's a fuel only used in backwards shithole countries. https://t.co/Bvk05YpeZk
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, April 09, 2022 11:52:58 AMTwitter for Android
What kind of bullshit is this? What Soviet or Russian group of morons actually designed this and thought it was a good idea? Christ

https://t.co/vpxkKXX72x
Saturday, April 09, 2022 11:49:49 AMTwitter for Android
The @YESNetwork Android app is a pile of shit https://t.co/zUQl9JRwpu Friday, April 08, 2022 5:03:45 PMTwitter for Android
I mean this poor thing. Imagine going around all your life with the name Liz DickHouse? For fucks sake! Marry her off, stat! https://t.co/HCIk7XN1o8 Friday, April 08, 2022 12:48:46 AMTwitter for Android
'The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On' is absolute trash TV an I just can't turn it off. Thursday, April 07, 2022 10:46:07 PMTwitter for Android
https://t.co/ti4IbyelFi
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Saturday, April 02, 2022 12:53:22 AMTwitter for Android
The cosmic experiment of complex, differentiated organisms will come to a natural end. Saturday, April 02, 2022 12:52:45 AMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer Lol should have read the thread. I see the article about it
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, March 28, 2022 8:04:50 PMTwitter for Android
@_sysengineer I got the exact same scam message today. And they spoofed my own number. Did that happen for you as well?
In reply to @_sysengineer's tweet
Monday, March 28, 2022 8:01:02 PMTwitter for Android
Elon's a wacky bastard, but he's not wrong many times. We gotta get rid of these old boomer leaders. The brain declines with age.

https://t.co/VWnV65iMPp
Sunday, March 27, 2022 10:46:32 AMTwitter for Android
@madebygoogle Will 100% get the Pixel watch but make sure that shit works with Fitbit Premium because I just prepaid a year. So not getting it if it doesn't.
In reply to @madebygoogle's tweet
Saturday, March 26, 2022 11:35:01 PMTwitter for Android
Normally, I'd say that I can't wait until this prick goes to jail, but he's not going to jail. Fucker gets away with everything.

https://t.co/Ukp0P58eqJ
Friday, March 25, 2022 7:50:44 PMTwitter for Android
Well holy tits on a fish! It's quite possible that Google actually fixed the Pixel 6's bullshit fingerprint reader this update around. Tuesday, March 22, 2022 1:04:41 AMTwitter for Android
@bubbacrewjam I also see it has 5G CBand support on Verizon. Sub6 5G is a bs gimmick. Literally get 2-5 MBPS on it. 4G was faster when it first came out
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Monday, March 21, 2022 10:40:53 PMTwitter for Android
@bubbacrewjam I read on a tech blog it was supposed to drop today. It's almost a half gig, not kilobytes. They have a lot of shit to fix I hope. Maybe this is 12L or whatever. 🤷‍♂️
In reply to @bubbacrewjam's tweet
Monday, March 21, 2022 10:38:34 PMTwitter for Android
I mean... I feel like they're copying the 2019 Pixel 4 with face id. Two display cutouts is whack. And making USB-C exclusive to the pro is bonkers.

No one knows wtf they're doing. See? I don't just bitch about Android

https://t.co/mWRDWfxtFB
Sunday, March 20, 2022 11:56:47 PMTwitter for Android
This is the kind of shit the Twitter algorithm recommends me. I'm mad because it's absurd, but it's not the most wrong... https://t.co/Ni3eRxjcDn Sunday, March 20, 2022 2:38:24 PMTwitter for Android
The @ohiogop is an absolute embarrassment. Can we disqualify these two jagoffs?

https://t.co/NNLOcCFKOO
Sunday, March 20, 2022 11:36:58 AMTwitter for Android
They better move to space permanently or flee mother Russia because Putin will kill them all for this https://t.co/JDyYglZnis Saturday, March 19, 2022 3:57:51 PMTwitter for Android
Hey @NASA, tell them to go f themselves. https://t.co/pqpxPiXI4V Saturday, March 19, 2022 11:51:49 AMTwitter for Android
I just dropped my 8 qt fucking instant pot lid and broke the fucking valve off. Jesus fucking Christ a replacement lid is like $60 and out of stock and I'm pretty sure I got the whole thing ion super sale for cheaper. Fuck me. I break fucking god damn everything Friday, March 18, 2022 7:24:22 PMTwitter for Android
@notshenetworks But that's what Twitter is for
In reply to @notshenetworks's tweet
Friday, March 18, 2022 6:54:08 PMTwitter for Android
At this rate, Ohio should just legalize total anarchy and chaos. Neighbor parked in front of your house? Shoot them. Pushy salesman ring your doorbell? Shoot them. Ohio! The state where you can do whatever the fuck you want with guns and be protected!

https://t.co/3OLqrC6SgB
Thursday, March 17, 2022 9:29:49 PMTwitter for Android
Hmm. Makes perfect sense... "Crime is up so let's just let every untrained Tom Dick and Harry carry a gun too." Very logical, Michael. 🤔🤔🤔 https://t.co/vvqdGpkOxm Thursday, March 17, 2022 2:18:52 PMTwitter for Android
I'm too tired to haha. Just that it shouldn't overheat watching videos, it needs a better modem and the fingerprint reader is laughably bad
In reply to @portfolioso's tweet
Thursday, March 17, 2022 12:31:29 AMTwitter for Android
I'm about to go off on an absolute rant session about why Android and the Google Pixel 6 Pro is pissing me off. It's mind boggling, because it's an amazing phone but at the same time, it's enraging to use. And @madebygoogle and @rosterloh better listen to me very carefully... Thursday, March 17, 2022 12:03:12 AMTwitter for Android
Dude if you're gonna pay like 80k+ for a Lexus suv, they should design it without an asshole looking front grill. This looks like a shitty cheap Toyota https://t.co/oM5dSzMut2 Wednesday, March 16, 2022 4:55:47 PMTwitter for Android
The grocery store can be fucking empty, but wherever I need to go and whatever I need to get, there's always a motherfucker in my way Wednesday, March 16, 2022 4:34:28 PMTwitter for Android
It knew Putin was going to nuke us all

https://t.co/5rOijcEH8x
Monday, March 14, 2022 8:41:33 PMTwitter for Android
Why is Brittney Spears posting her old soggy ass titties all over Insta? Ain't no one wanna see that, it's not the early 2000s Monday, March 14, 2022 5:58:55 PMTwitter for Android
I'm such a gd fatty. Philly airport had an unreal delicious NY pizza slice, and the fact that by pizza is banned in Ohio, I'm obviously having two.

Then I ordered a cheesesteak too from other place
Monday, March 14, 2022 5:55:38 PMTwitter for Android
Dude the way they do addresses in St. Thomas is good damn fucking idiotic Saturday, March 12, 2022 3:24:18 PMTwitter for Android
We've gotta get TSA pre check for the Starbucks line or something. This is bssss. Thursday, March 10, 2022 5:00:53 AMTwitter for Android
@nyr2k2 You'd be surprised how those shady streams actually work really really well... Sometimes they work better than official cable sports channel apps (granted you know how to block all the tracking and malware trickery)
In reply to @nyr2k2's tweet
Tuesday, March 08, 2022 10:55:48 PMTwitter for Android
This is so gd idiotic https://t.co/oZlWI7W3HM Tuesday, March 08, 2022 10:52:03 PMTwitter for Android
What's our beef with Venezuela? They can't be ash shitty as Putin so let's start buying their oil again Tuesday, March 08, 2022 11:37:45 AMTwitter for Android
How do you think Putin would react if he got a bag of dicks in the mail? Monday, March 07, 2022 11:27:54 PMTwitter for Android
@bubbacrewjam Man, they're really not prioritizing their flagship over here.

https://t.co/3MBaBlq2wx
In reply to @bubbacrewjam's tweet
Monday, March 07, 2022 1:30:49 PMTwitter for Android
Does Ukraine not have any bomber jets or missiles? I don't understand how there's a 50 mile stalled convoy of Russian tanks they they can't just bomb from the air before they reach Kyiv Monday, March 07, 2022 10:29:45 AMTwitter for Android
Hey all you Trump 2024 dummies: You realize that dope is pro-Putin, right? Like almost the whole world is against this bs except the orange terrorist and China that he hated on so much Sunday, March 06, 2022 10:03:34 AMTwitter for Android
Our old boomer neighbor comes over to my house whenever she feels like it to drink with us like it's college and tells her husband she's coming over to get shitfaced.

I mean.... I don't even know anymore
Sunday, March 06, 2022 8:53:22 AMTwitter for Android
People who post shit like this should get bonked on the head. This is bs. Absolute shit post to cause idiots to like it with the double tap and hit the follow button which overlaps the 0 https://t.co/Cc4X1Cnlhk Saturday, March 05, 2022 12:46:33 PMTwitter for Android
@ohio_fact You're saying this is acceptable? Putin isn't responsible for this? You stupid fucking prick. https://t.co/wjuJdkFxc9
In reply to @ohio_fact's tweet
Thursday, March 03, 2022 10:36:03 AMTwitter for Android
@oakfan71 @GovMikeDeWine God forbid Dewine's opinions and policies deviate a bit from our favorite pro-Putin orange fuhrer: Donald Trumpf. Cancel DeWine!
In reply to @oakfan71's tweet
Thursday, March 03, 2022 10:31:49 AMTwitter for Android
@laurenboebert you and shithead Marjorie are two disrespectful cocksuckers, you know that?
In reply to @laurenboebert's tweet
Wednesday, March 02, 2022 10:02:02 PMTwitter for Android
Rob Manfred stinks. Shtty commissioner. Changed the rules. Ruined the game. Baseball stinks now

https://t.co/8pDxpCaBIY
Tuesday, March 01, 2022 11:20:31 AMTwitter for Android
These people are suddenly realizing this is a gd cult? It's not rocket science people. This is nothing new.

https://t.co/pYvvi0KEnR
Friday, February 25, 2022 1:19:53 AMTwitter for Android
@NkirbyNYY You mean monument cave? Sucks in the new stadium. Haven't been there since 2002 in the old stadium
In reply to @NkirbyNYY's tweet
Thursday, February 24, 2022 5:33:34 PMTwitter for Android
Fuck Russia for being assholes and fucking up the Global economy. Assholes. Wednesday, February 23, 2022 11:40:29 PMTwitter for Android
I love getting into internet arguments with dummies who are all like "Gas is up and it's all Biden's fault. Everything was better under fuhrer Trumpf. Trump4lyfe"

Because I always win and shut them up up
Monday, February 21, 2022 9:17:43 AMTwitter for Android
The young'un is watching Peppa Pig and some of the shit they say in the UK is absurd.

Clockwork boat = windup boat
It's catching = it's contagious
Sunday, February 20, 2022 9:10:55 AMTwitter for Android